Ye Wanbai moved his steps, picked up the crumpled cigarette, touched the broken black tobacco, and showed a smile that was about to cry.

"Did he treat me as an idiot? Home visits should be made in the middle of the night, and you should say dear to show respect for the teacher. ”

You Xuezhen looked at him and raised her head, her eyes were at the drowning butterfly, unable to fly, her eyelashes were hanging with the teardrops that had just laughed, damp the air, and her heart sank.

She stood in front of him helplessly, as if the one who had done the wrong was herself, and muttered, "So what should we do?" ”

What are we going to do?

Coming from the adult world, maybe they will get used to it later, but they were just teenagers at the time, but they couldn't afford it. Those moments when you know that your parents don't love each other, when you know that your parents aren't destined to love your children, when you know that your home isn't a nest of warmth, maybe closer to a meat grinder.

So by sharing the secrets, you and me, as if we can spell together as an adult, and we can be painless about those ugly truths.

Not only are they friends, but they are also accomplices in the initial murder of each other.

So how could he say this so easily?

After You Xuezhen's panic was initially exposed, what came to her was actually a kind of anger.

She carefully maintained it, protecting their relationship from being ruined by her selfish desires, what about him?

Whether it's out of temptation, or out of fun, in short, it won't be out of liking her. She didn't believe that.

So she was even angrier.

You Xuezhen lowered her face coldly and said word by word: "This joke is not funny. ”

Ye Wanbai sniffed out of the coldness and muttered, "When I went home for the New Year this time, I went back to the high school to take a look, and when I came out, I passed by the library that our high school would pass by every day when we went to school. I walked to the door that day, looked at the lights inside, and suddenly realized that I hadn't been in once. ”

You Xuezhen was stunned for a moment, and also remembered the library.

When he mentioned it like this, she realized that she didn't seem to have ever gone in, and she would have seen it at that time, but she didn't have the idea of going in once.

Ye Wanbai lowered his eyes, as if talking to himself, and as if he was asking her: "It's not that I hate the library and don't want to go in, it seems that just because of the places I can see every day, I always feel that I have the opportunity to go in again next time." Is it because of this that I didn't go until I graduated? ”

You Xuezhen tasted a hint of bitterness on the tip of her tongue, as if she had a premonition of what he was going to say next.

"But that day I finally saw it and decided to go inside. As I sat there, I thought of you. ”

Ye Wanbai looked at her.

"I was thinking, you're the library I've been seeing and passing by."

Like her, it always has its doors closed, more like a fortress of silence, a landmark of youth than a library. It's always there, reassuring, but it doesn't generate more ideas.

Until someone was thousands of miles away, one step ahead of him, and pushed open the door.

Of course, there were people who chased You Xuezhen before Meng Shilong, and at first he thought that Meng Shilong would also be one of those people. Those people are all rotten, someone once used an anonymous account to confess in You Xuezhen's Q/Q space, and later when he was playing basketball, he overheard that it was a bet by the boy in the class next door. He beat the gang severely, and later became extremely wary of the boys who approached You Xuezhen.

Similarly, he didn't like Meng Shilong, and he didn't think he could be a good person. At a young age, they have already been crawling in society, and their experiences with each other are so unequal, how can You Xuezhen have fun?

You Xuezhen would not like him at all.

But on Hong Kong Island, the moment she left him to spend Christmas Eve with Ms. Mongol, he began to realize that maybe this person was different.

Maybe he will really take You Xuezhen away.

On his last night on Hong Kong Island, he told her not to associate with Meng Shilong, and even he couldn't tell whether it was out of his friend's possessiveness...... Or a more terrible mind.

But on the night of Chinese New Year's Eve, he finally clarified what this emotion that was rampaging in his chest and was about to tear him apart.

He was almost going to kiss his best friend.

But he also knew that if he kissed him, it would be over.

She's already leaving, if it goes well, she can start a new relationship soon, they've been friends for so many years, what to do if he kisses him at this juncture, they don't even have to be friends.

At least, until he saw the back of the paper, he wasn't sure she would have adulterated feelings for him other than friends.

bumped into him with someone else in the fitting room, and she could easily send WeChat to ridicule. Huang Qianru had acute gastroenteritis, and he had no choice but to release her pigeon, but found that she didn't care about the agreement with him at all. At the birthday party, he thought he was interested in Mao Suhe, so he took the initiative to change his position to help him match...... There are many, many, and so many, and she is light and breezy in the face of his romances.

Occasionally, he wondered if this was the reaction of a friend other than his friend.

It's not that there are moments when something feels wrong, but who's to say it's not a possessive desire for a friend? Like he would have had that emotion for her, too.

Anyone in this world may like him, but You Xuezhen can't.

The man who had seen him embarrassed so much.

Not to mention, he'd seen what it was like for her to like someone.

So, sensing that he was about to lose control, he fled. Whether it's alienating yourself from meeting her after Christmas, or rushing home in a hurry to book a ticket home under the pretext of a fake wedding after the year, use the distance and time to adjust how to pretend.

At the very least, you have to learn to be as light as her.

It's not hard for him to pretend, just like he used to pretend that his parents have a good relationship and that he is a very happy child. Now pretend that they are still good friends, and when he receives the news of her relationship with Meng Shilong one day, he will tease her as she teased him.

He thinks that people's most straightforward feelings often need to be hidden. Truth or Dare is the only live ammunition hidden in the empty bullet in the Russian turntable, and the bond between people and people is a deer hiding in the mountains and forests, the longer it lasts, the more it cannot be alarmed, and letting yourself go is to give this relationship a bullet.

He still remembers that when he was in high school, he struggled for a month, telling his mother and father that he was actually cheating, and on the night when you wanted to divorce, his mother easily arranged flowers, cut off the excess branches, and said with a smile, Xiaobai, I already knew.

She didn't say anything, telling him with a face that was smiling all the time that this was the truth of life.

Since then, that consciousness has gradually seeped into his life.

So even at this moment, he still doesn't know whether his feelings for her are only realized now, or many years ago-

One evening in the first year of high school, everyone was in the playground for physical education class. He sneaked back to the empty classroom by going to the toilet, and took out the complete collection of "Cherry Maruko" from his schoolbag, wanting to stuff it to You Xuezhen, who had just experienced the death of his grandfather.

He walked over to her desk, hunched over and struggled to stuff the comics one by one, so full that her music textbook fell out of it, and with it, a sketch of a music teacher.

Looking at the portrait lying gently on the ground, he suddenly sweated.

The bell rang for the end of class on the radio, and he wiped his sweat with his school pants, hurriedly folded the portrait, stuffed it into his textbook, stuffed it into his desk, and closed the classroom door. As the dusk fell together, he didn't have time to think about what the angina was, and he was stuffed into the empty classroom of that year, which was very full, very full.

He wondered if he had misunderstood, and after asking her tentatively, he got an answer not to tell anyone. After being exposed, You Xuezhen no longer shy away in front of him, he became the only outlet for her crush, on the way home from school, the two of them had a bottle of soda each, but he was drinking, she was saying, saying that the teacher smiled at her today, the teacher's black shirt today is so temperamental, the teacher's posture of playing the piano is very elegant, teacher, teacher, teacher!

Bang, the carbonated soda exploded in his stomach.

He interrupted her rudely, sneering and saying that this can be said to be Xianglin's sister-in-law, as for it! You Xuezhen frowned unhappily, and said fiercely, you haven't liked someone, you don't understand at all!

He was not convinced, what could it be like to like someone, and could he really be as happy as she appeared?

He didn't want to admit defeat, he wanted to have something to say in front of You Xuezhen, and he wanted to feel the happiness of liking someone.

So he finally accepted Guo Ru's confession.

On the night of the confession, he and You Xuezhen came home from school as usual. On the way, he recalled her elated tone and said that he was in love.

She let out a surprise sigh. Until she came to the fork in the road of separation, her tears suddenly fell like a waterfall.

He panicked and asked her what was wrong.

As she wiped it, tears welled up more over and over again, and she wrote lightly that the teacher was getting married.

He froze where he was, the land turned into the ocean, and he was drowned in those tears.

Looking back now, maybe your tears back then were a little shed for me?

Why did I see the portrait instead of the back of the table?

Ye Wanbai suppressed the pain in his heart, and looked at her with a smile more and more.

"After receiving the textbook, I thought a lot about whether I burned it or not, and I pretended not to know what to do." He still pretended to be relaxed, "But if we still have the possibility." ”

You Xuezhen didn't answer because her phone rang.

The video she sent to Meng Shilong, he didn't sleep, and gave her a reply at this moment-

Dragon: "It's beautiful."

Dragon: "Snow in Your Name"

Sometimes, the scenery doesn't mean much, the rain is rain, the wind is the wind, and the snow is snow. You Xuezhen never thought that her name could also be transformed into a snow, and some people like this snow because of her name.

Ye gradually watched her look at her phone because she was avoiding the problem, and then fell into a daze.

The snow was falling heavier and heavier, like smoke, separating them from what had once been their closest relationship.

I don't know how long it took, You Xuezhen raised her head and finally looked at his face that was frozen by snowflakes.

"Now that it's time to open the skylight and say something. That's no joke, I really liked you when I wrote that line. I like it to the point where I'm afraid of losing you when I talk about it. ”

"But now ......"

She thought of Meng Shilong's eyes looking at her, and tightened her palms.

It seems that his tears are still left here.

"—I've got another person in my heart."

Chapter 50

After You Xuezhen finished saying this, Ye Yanbai's expression was still, but the snowflakes in the world continued to fall. In this gap, she returned the umbrella to him and turned away.

There have been countless times, the scene of Ye Wanbai confessing to herself has appeared in her fantasies and dreams. Sometimes I imagine that I will use up my strength, and when the game officially starts, I don't have the energy to appear. She couldn't do anything very well.

She still doesn't think it's true.

Maybe it was a prank, and that was her first reaction.

But she looked at Ye Wanbai's expression, and when she said the sentence "Another person has lived in my heart", the expression of being snubbed on the face that has never snubbed others appeared, and she couldn't tell whether she was happy or sad.

After so many years of emotion in my heart, my body suddenly became empty, and my footsteps to the dormitory building were floating. She felt empty, at a loss between ease and emptiness.

You Xuezhen thought of herself as an adult for a long time, when she celebrated her eighteenth birthday, when she received the admission letter, when she boarded the flight to Fei Xirong with her suitcase. She felt like she was going to Xintiandi, with the appearance of an invincible adult.

But the moment she turned to leave, she realized that she may not have grown into the adult she imagined, and as soon as she returned to the dormitory, her body could not bear the high emotional load. With the last of her strength, she climbed onto the bed and plunged her head into the pillow.

She should have had a lot of chaotic dreams this night, but she didn't remember any of them when she woke up, but she remembered that Meng Shilong's news had not yet returned.

She quickly pressed her phone and was shocked by the terrible red dot message prompt on WeChat.

- Who sent her so many messages?

I clicked on WeChat and found that I was pulled into a new small group.

The name of the group is "Confession Wars".

The leader of the group is Zuoqiu, who brought her, Yuan Jing, Meng Shilong, and Ye Wanbai in, but there was no Mao Suhe.

You Xuezhen flipped through the chat records, only to know that Zuoqiu was going to make a big move with Mao Suhe behind her back - it turned out that the next day was February 14, Valentine's Day, which was always very close to the Chinese New Year.