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"The Analects of Yan Yuan": "Don't look at indecent things...... Don't listen to indecent acts...... Don't say anything indecent...... The explanation of "do not move" is not as simple as "do not look at things that are not in line with etiquette, do not listen to voices that are not in line with courtesy, do not say things that are not in line with courtesy, and do things that are not in line with courtesy".

For what?

What is Rite?

In ancient China, etiquette was used to determine relatives and relatives, to resolve suspicions, to distinguish between the same and different, and to know right and wrong. "Interpretation of the Name" said: "Etiquette, body also." Words are also the body of things. "Ritual Instruments" says: "Faithfulness is the foundation of etiquette, and righteousness is also the text of etiquette." There is no foundation, no writing. "Etiquette is the foundation of a person's dealings. It is also a standard for people to be human.

Rite can refer to: rite - a concept used by Confucianism, which refers to the distinction between upper and lower, respect and inferiority, order, etc. It mainly advocates the social concept of the Western Zhou Dynasty.

In ancient China, etiquette was a social code system and moral norm. As a system of rules, it is the embodiment of the socio-political system, and it is the etiquette and ritual in the maintenance of the superstructure and the interpersonal interactions that correspond to it. As a code of ethics, it is the standard and requirement for all behaviors of the leaders of the state and the aristocracy. Before Confucius, there were Xia Li, Yin Li, and Zhou Li. The rites of the Xia, Yin and Wednesday generations are along with each other because of the revolution. By the time of the Duke of Zhou, the Zhou rites had been relatively perfect. Rites, as a conceptual form, are inseparable from "benevolence" in Confucius's ideological system. Confucius said: "If people are not benevolent, what is such as courtesy?" He advocated the rule of virtue of "morality and courtesy", breaking the restriction of "courtesy is not inferior to others". In the Warring States Period, Mencius regarded benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, and wisdom as the basic moral norms, and etiquette as the "heart of resignation", which became one of the virtues of people. Xunzi attached more importance to etiquette than Mencius, and he wrote "Treatise on Etiquette". The origin and social role of "li" are demonstrated. He believed that propriety made everyone in society have a proper position in the hierarchy of high and low, young and old, rich and poor.

Therefore, "The Analects of Yan Yuan": "Don't look at indecent things...... Don't listen to indecent acts...... Don't say anything indecent...... Indecent assault do not move". That is, "do not look at things that are not in accordance with propriety, do not listen to voices that are not in propriety, do not say things that are not in propriety, and do not do things that are not in propriety." ”

In terms of relations between men and women. "The Analects of Yan Yuan": "Don't look at indecent things...... Don't listen to indecent acts...... Don't say anything indecent...... Indecent assault do not move". It is "men and women do not kiss" ["Men and women do not kiss. Rite also. The specific meaning is: men and women should not be intimate in their movements, this is etiquette. "The Book of Rites: Qu Li": "Men and women do not sit together, and they are not in the same place. Different towels, not personally taught. The sister-in-law does not lead, the outer words do not come out of the mouth, and the inner words do not come out of the mouth. A woman is allowed to marry, and she will not enter the door unless there is a big reason. Aunts, sisters, sisters, and daughters are married and return (return), and brothers sit at the same table and eat with the same utensils. "Source: "Mencius: "Chun Yu said: 'Men and women are not kissed, and the people are affectionate?' Mencius said: 'Etiquette is also. ’”】。

Men and women should not kiss each other is a traditional Confucian thought, which originally referred to the fact that men and women should not hand and receive objects from each other, and later referred to the fact that a certain distance should be kept between the opposite sex. Although men and women who are not blood relatives or husband and wife should keep their distance in rituals, physical contact between men and women can be tolerated under special circumstances, for example, men should lend a helping hand when they see someone drowning, and there is no need to stick to etiquette, otherwise they are no different from jackals (this special situation is probably misinterpreted by others).

It is said that some people interpret "men and women do not kiss each other" to mean this.

Men and women express feelings or admiration, not so direct, but tactful, subtle, whether it is a gift or a token of the party should maintain a certain etiquette, respect each other, do not make the other party embarrassed, do not embarrass themselves. In case the other party doesn't mean that to you, it's not good to say it to your face, so that you can't get off the stage, so that you can be considered polite. (Only this understanding and interpretation of feelings, which has survived for 2,000 years, has been passed down and accepted by modern people.)

Ahem, cough, this estimate is originally the interpretation of modern people, and modern people must be able to accept it, right?

However, the original meaning of "men and women do not kiss" must prohibit the interaction between men and women!

In this way, the problems in the relationship between men and women are particularly serious.

For what?

According to the rules of Confucian etiquette. To marry a wife, you must marry someone else's sister, like those who marry a wife to marry a sister or sister in their own family, which is called "incest" in Confucian etiquette. In the same way, to marry a husband, you must marry a brother in someone else's family, like those who marry a husband to marry a brother and sister in their own family, which is also called "incest" in Confucian etiquette. "Incest" has more serious consequences than "indecent assault".

Incest, in the narrow sense, refers to sexual activity between close relatives (the definition of close relatives will vary in different regions). Broadly speaking, incest refers to actions that disrupt human ethics and social norms. Incest that has nothing to do with sex: This is unique to Chinese Han culture, such as the marriage of master and apprentice, the murder of the father by the son, and the usurpation of the throne by the minister, etc., all of which are incest in a broad sense. Incest related to sexual acts: consanguineous sexual intercourse (adultery), consanguineous sexual assault (rape), consanguineous marriage, etc.

Incest refers to the confusion of the traditional Wulun in our culture because of sexual relations, whether it is consensual sexual intercourse or non-consensual sexual intercourse, as long as there is this problem on the object, it is incest.

Wulun refers to the prince of heaven and earth. It is inevitable that heaven and earth cannot have sex, and that all the objects of a king's sexual intercourse can only be his subjects. However, if there is sexual intercourse between relatives of different generations, it is incest, regardless of whether there is a blood relationship (the daughter-in-law, son, and mother-in-law are counted, and the uncle and sister-in-law are counted as adultery because of the same generation), and sexual intercourse with the teacher is also unacceptable in ancient times.

"Incest that normally occurs is intimate and consensual. In the final analysis, it is necessary to clearly understand the meaning and scope of incest, after all, incest is not necessarily related to consensual sexual intercourse[5]. Incest can occur between family members of the same or opposite sex, or between family members of the same or different generations.

Before marrying a wife or husband, you always need to look at each other a few times, right?

No, you can't!

According to the rules of "indecent conduct", don't casually look at the opposite sex, especially the opposite sex of the same age, is "indecent and do not look at it".

Before marrying a wife or husband, you always need to listen to what the other party has to say, right? What if the person who marries a wife or marries a husband is a fool?

No, you can't!

According to the rules of "indecent assault", do not listen to the opposite sex casually, especially those of the opposite sex of the same age, which is "do not listen to indecent conduct". What if the other party is not paying attention and says "I love you"? "If you are not afraid of 10,000, you are afraid of what if" is not?

Before marrying a wife or husband, if you see the other party's eyes really closed, can you say "I love you" to express your feelings?

No, you can't!

According to the rules of "indecent assault", do not casually say things like "I love you" to the opposite sex, especially those of the opposite sex of the same age.

Before marrying a wife or husband, if you see the other person's face is beautiful or the muscles are strong, can you touch the other person's face or touch the other person's muscles? 】？

No, you can't!

According to the rules of "indecent assault", do not casually have skin-to-skin contact with the opposite sex, especially those of the opposite sex of the same age, which is "indecent and do not move".

In this way, the average man and woman are basically exempt from the tedious work of free love, don't bother all day long to please each other, and of course, there is no chance to feel the joys and sorrows of free love.

This is also for the cousin in ancient times to marry a cousin and a cousin to marry a cousin [cousin is the cousin of the middle cousin. Refers to one's relationship with the children of one's grandfather, grandmother, or mother's siblings. In the three-generation collateral kinship title system, "table" corresponds to "tang". "Table, outside also. "Traditionally, the Han people live with their husbands, and women always have to marry "outside". Therefore, relatives of women (mothers) who belong to the same family or who have been women (aunts) in the same family are referred to as "cousins", just like guests. The children of uncles, aunts, and aunts are called cousins and cousins. This kind of cousin relationship can also be extended to the next generation as cousins, cousins, etc. In ancient times, aunts and cousins were called nephews, and aunts and cousins were brothers and sisters from their mothers. North China Xi said: "One table is three thousand miles", describing cousins can be extremely distant. As the Cantonese proverb goes, "One generation of relatives, two represents, three generations of despise." The Hokkien dialect saying is "one generation of relatives, two representatives, three generations are gone", which means that when it comes to the third generation of cousins, the relationship has been very estranged and there is almost no contact. However, although the "two represents" are still regarded as related by blood, whether or not they are married depends on individual concepts. However, due to the concept of eugenics, modern Chinese society has discouraged the marriage of close relatives. In ancient times, the marriage of two representatives (especially cousins or sisters) was more common, and the ancient name of the family Weng Jiagu "aunt" reflected this phenomenon. There are many keys to the special situation.

For what?

Because cousin relationships are more complicated. Talking to cousins, cousins, cousins, cousins, and cousins of the opposite sex or even fighting is not considered "indecency". Similarly, marrying a wife or marrying a husband to a cousin or cousin of the opposite sex in a cousin or cousin is not considered "incest".

Where can I find such a convenient thing? So in ancient times, there were naturally many cousins marrying cousins and cousins marrying cousins. In addition, in ancient times, people in ancient times in order to beautify this kind of cousin marrying cousin and cousin marrying cousin, what is "two generations of relatives, breaking bones and connecting tendons".

Confucian etiquette is a lot of precautions for the normal interaction between men and women, will there be that kind of content in those Confucian books that teach people how to create human beings? (To be continued......