My dad was the richest man, but I didn't have the money for chemotherapy.

He always said that my willfulness killed my mother,

But affectionately, he formed a new family in a blink of an eye.

When I was alive, he wanted me to die.

When I died before his eyes, he went mad.

1、

Zhou Ning, who was in the same class, threw herself into the arms of an elegant man, and the man caught her with a smile, picked up her schoolbag, and got into the car together.

The strange classmates around me saw that I had been looking at that place, and said sarcastically: "Poor sour ghost, that is the daughter of the richest man, it is different from an orphan like you, no matter how busy the richest man is, he will come to pick her up from school every day, but unfortunately no matter how you look at him, he will not become your father!"

However, he is my father, my biological father.

The students in this school are either rich or expensive, and everyone agrees that I am an orphan who was specially recruited because of my modest clothes and excellent grades.

Because no one has ever come to hold a parent-teacher conference for me, I also sit quietly in the classroom on the day of parent-child activities.

On the first day of school together, Zhou Ning warned me with a smile: "Chu Mucheng, Dad said that you are a sinner who killed his mother, how much he hates you, you don't know it, right? He doesn't want people to know that you are his daughter, so you can do it, don't say it and embarrass him."

Back at the dilapidated rental house, I saw Zhou Ning post a circle of friends.

In the luxurious and bright villa, she was making a wish on a three-tiered castle cake with her eyes closed, her mother and brother standing beside her, and my father was putting a crown on his face, with a gentle smile on his lips.

The accompanying text is: My 18th birthday is coming, my father must spend two months preparing for the coming-of-age ceremony, and today I specially bought a cake for my family to pass in advance, I said that there is no need to be so troublesome, but Dad said that I am his baby princess, how can the birthday be sloppy, thank you for the best dad in the world~

The photo is warm, and no one can tell that this is a reorganized family.

It wasn't until a drop of water hit the screen that I touched my face and realized that I had already burst into tears.

It's weird, you should have gotten used to it a long time ago, didn't you?

Habits are treated differently.

It is customary to never have a birthday after the age of 6.

Accustomed to changing from a little princess with both parents to an orphan with nothing.

is used to being born a month earlier than Zhou Ning, but she can only rub a birthday cake that is a month late on her birthday.

I bit my lip and crushed my cry, my heart feeling like it was being pinched by a big hand, and it hurt so much that I arched up.

The room was dimly lit, and I curled up on the bed with an old bear doll clutched in my arms.

It was my mother's last birthday present.

2、

I woke up at five in the morning as usual.

Renting around the school is very expensive, and my stepmother gives me very little money every month, and I can't afford it, so I have to rent it in a remote place, which causes me to wake up very early every day to get to school on time.

As soon as I stood up, a violent headache hit me, and I fell to the ground in the cold, gasping for air.

When I came back, I found that I was wet with sweat, and when I fell, I accidentally broke the water glass in my hand, and the glass was deeply rooted in the palm of my hand, and I was drenched in blood.

I am no longer the little girl who had to be coaxed by my parents when I wrestled, and only those who are loved are qualified to be coquettish.

I lost this qualification after I was 6 years old.

I gritted my teeth and found a small clinic, bandaged it casually, and rushed to school.

Maybe it was because the wound was not properly treated, I was groggy all day, I felt the temperature on my forehead, and I don't know when I started to have a fever.

I was going to go back to rest early after school, but I was stopped by the driver at home at the school gate.

It's not the Bugatti who usually picks up Zhou Ning, it's the driver's own Audi car, and Dad is naturally not in it.

"Miss, Madame asked me to take you back, Chu always has something to look for you."

3、

The décor and furnishings of the home have changed, and there is no trace of my life.

After my stepmother moved in with her two children, she had already renovated it once, and I watched my mother's imprint dissipate little by little, crying, and dying to death.

But Dad just looked at me coldly and said, "If it weren't for your willfulness, I wouldn't have lost my wife, what face do you have to cry now?" If you want to die, hurry up and die, die outside and don't die at home, who do you want to show me?"

A familiar male voice interrupted my thoughts, "Why are you here?" , Dad frowned, and a trace of disgust flashed in his eyes.

The stepmother heard the movement and walked over, her voice was full of joy: "What are you doing so fiercely to the child, I asked Xiao Mu to come back, come in." I'm going to stay here tonight, I've already asked someone to clean up my room."

The dishes on the table are all spicy, and our family couldn't eat spicy food before.

I burned more and more, my ears were buzzing, my mind was blank, and I was just mechanically picking up the rice.

The sound of the chopsticks slamming on the table woke me up, and I looked at my angry dad with wide eyes, trying to make out the shape of his mouth, "Why didn't you ignore Auntie talking to you? Has your upbringing been eaten by dogs? Ning Ning said that your grades have plummeted recently, and they are worried about you so they asked you to come back for dinner, you wolf-hearted thing!"

I want to say that they are not worried about me, they just want to see my jokes, which is their usual trick, but you are always fooled.

I would like to say that recently, my body has been uncomfortable, I have tinnitus from time to time, I have headaches every day, and sometimes my eyes are blurry, and I can't see anything clearly, so I didn't do well in the exam.

There are many, many things I want to say, I have written a very thick diary, but face you, my dear father.

I couldn't say a word.

Maybe it's because my throat hurts so much that I struggle to speak.

Or maybe it's because I know that no matter what I say, you won't believe it.

Just like Zhou Ning slandered me for stealing her jewelry, you conclude that I am a thief.

Just like Zhou Zhiheng sneaked into my room at night, I asked for your help, but you accused me of being filthy.

The stepmother and Zhou Ning glanced at each other, showing a triumphant smile, she pretended to wipe away the tears that did not exist, and coaxed her father softly: "This child may have seen that you have been jealous of Ning Ning's vegetables, you see that she only eats rice and does not eat vegetables, you can also give her a dish."

Dad scoffed, "I think she's just spoiled, there are so many problems."

He casually sandwiched a piece of mapo tofu for me, and when he saw that I didn't eat it, he picked up my bowl and fell to the ground, "Do you like to eat or not, what kind of hypocrisy, go back to the guest room and sleep, don't be an eyesore here!"

I looked at the torn bowl on the floor as if I were looking at a broken time in the past: "I am allergic to tofu, I almost died of allergies after eating a mouthful of tofu when I was 5 years old, and it was you who braved the storm at night to take me to the hospital."

He stiffened, pursed his lips, and took a step closer to me, as if he wanted to say something to me.

Zhou Ning suddenly exclaimed, he immediately turned back, found a band-aid with care, and carefully pasted her with the small wound that was accidentally scratched by the dinner knife just now.

I looked down at my hand with a thick layer of gauze, because it had not been replaced in time, the wisps of bright red came through, and it was placed on the table during the meal, but no one cared about it.

4、

As soon as I returned to my room, I heard a loud noise coming from downstairs.

Zhou Ning was going to watch a movie, and she was softly coquettish: "The whole family has to go, and no one is missing."

Dad smiled connivingly: "Okay, okay, our little princess has spoken, who dares not to go."

Then, the whole villa went dark, and only my room was lit alone.

The severe headache made my hands tremble, and I took painkillers out of my bag, swallowed them and climbed into bed.

None of the thousands of lights outside the window were reserved for me, and there were fireworks exploding in the air in the distance, and the excitement had nothing to do with me.

I lay lonely on the bed, holding the bear doll that never left me, and thought for the umpteenth time:

If only I hadn't coquetted to my mother the day before my birthday and hoped that she would spend it with me.

In order to fulfill her daughter's wishes, she would not have ended her work early, took two days off, and got on the plane that crashed.

Died on my 6th birthday.

I just, miss her so much.

Mom is a famous model and is touring the world.

We haven't seen each other for almost a year.

When the bad news came, my father broke down and cried, he pushed my little me to the ground, and despite my broken knee, he yelled at me: "You caused it, if it weren't for you, my wife wouldn't have died." I shouldn't have let her give birth to you in the first place! You evil spirit!"

Mom's fans came to offer their condolences and cried silently in the mourning hall, "Is it so important to celebrate a birthday? Why can't she just bear with it?"

"Cheng Lin shouldn't have given birth to her, if it weren't for her, Cheng Lin would have a better development, not like now..."

"She wants her mom to spend her birthday with her? Just because of her wayward request, there will be no mother to accompany her for her birthday in the future!"

"Why are you talking about me, I didn't say anything wrong, besides, the child doesn't understand, she is the sinner who killed her mother, and she is not allowed to say a few words?"

With tears in my eyes, I knelt in front of my mother's portrait, which was looking at me tenderly in the black and white photo.

The condemning eyes of the adults pierced me like needles, and I remembered what my mother once said to me: "Mu Cheng, you have been very well-behaved since you were a child, you don't cry or make trouble when you are hungry, you never make demands to adults, you are too sensible, and your mother often feels indebted to you."

"Mom and Dad love you very much, you are the crystallization of our love, the best gift from God to Mom, Mom does not regret giving birth to you at the risk of being out of shape. If there's anything you want, remember to tell your mother."

I silently wept tears, endured the huge sourness that welled up on the tip of my nose, and tried to keep my eyes open, trying not to be blurred by tears, and staring at my mother's portrait with a good mistake.

Mom, what about now, do you regret giving birth to me?

If I hadn't been born, you would still be shining on the international stage.

If I hadn't told you that I wanted my mom to be with me on my birthday, you wouldn't have gotten on that plane.

I know it's wrong, I don't want anything anymore, I'm not going to ask for it anymore, I'll be patient, can you come back?

The adults are right, I am a sinner, a wrong child, and I should live my life with guilt.

5、

Yesterday I had a headache until midnight, and I didn't fall asleep until the effect of the medicine came up.

Early in the morning, Zhou Ning broke into my room, and only woke up when she saw me, she smiled maliciously and lifted my quilt: "You killed your mother, how can you still sleep so soundly, it's too shameless."

Seeing the bear cub in my arms, she snatched it as if she had discovered some new world, "What is this?"

"Give it back!" My body was still very weak, and I didn't hold it when I rushed over to snatch it, and I fell to the ground with her, making a dull sound.

Dad was alarmed, and when he saw Zhou Ning fall to the ground, he hurriedly helped her up, patted her with dust, and asked her distressedly if she was injured.

When I fell, Zhou Ning turned over and made a meat pad for me, my head hit the ground heavily, and the severe pain made me unable to get up.

But my father didn't look at me, he patiently listened to Zhou Ning's cry, and immediately made a decision in his heart: "If you like it, take it, it's not a valuable thing, she is a sister, she should let you." Today you have been wronged, wait for Dad to make you a limited edition bag, didn't you mention it last time?"

Zhou Ning was coquettish in her father's arms, and in a place where her father couldn't see, she smiled proudly and gestured at me: "Dare to rob me?"

I leaned on the table, trembling and crawling to my feet, my throat like it had been scraped by gravel, and I made a hoarse voice: "No! This is the doll my mother made for me! She has already snatched my dad and my home, why should she even snatch the doll my mom gave me! I have nothing left, that's all I have left!"

My refusal made my father unhappy, and he grabbed me by the neck and looked at me coldly and mercilessly, "It was your willfulness that killed your mother, and you don't deserve to take her things."

Dad, you know what?

You criticize the child and belittle the child, and she will not stop loving you.

She will stop loving herself.

It was a whirlwind, I felt like I was back in time, and my dad tore up all the pictures I had with my mom, and I tried to pick them up on the floor, trying to put them back together, but he didn't give me a chance and threw everything into the fire in front of me.

At that time, he also looked at me with hatred and cursed me with the most vicious words, I don't deserve to take a picture with my mother, I shouldn't have been born, I can't enjoy life. Because I have sinned so much, and I have a bad life, my mother can rest in peace.

I suddenly felt very tired, the ground seemed to turn into a swamp, pulling me and sinking continuously, my legs seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, and my chest felt like a big rock was pressed, and I was about to lose my breath.

Mom, I seem to be sick.

6、

No one sent me, I took the bus to the school by myself, and as soon as I entered the classroom, I felt that something was wrong.

My classmates looked at me with gossip and disgust, and in the whispers, I caught some words, "I used my brain crooked when I didn't have money", "I was raised by a middle-aged man who drove an Audi", "But she is really beautiful, if she can sleep if she is given money, I want to ask her how much she costs a night".

You don't have to think about it to know that the rumors were spread by Zhou Ning.

For so many years, it is not unheard of even the most ugly words.

I'm not made of steel, I'm just, I just have to be strong.

Zhou Ning was sitting in her place and laughing with the little sister next to her, when she saw me coming, she showed a playful smile and raised her chin towards my seat, "I will give you a big gift."

I had a bad feeling in my heart, and walked over quickly, and saw a shredded bear on the table, with a few big words written next to it, "Cheap things, don't give them to me."

The anger rushed over me, my whole body trembled, my heart beat so fast that my eardrums seemed to be shattered by the beating sound of a drum.

Zhou Ning saw that I was trembling, and thought I was crying, she smiled with satisfaction, and gossiped with the classmates next to her while laughing: "Hey, this matter, maybe she inherited her mother, after all, she is so beautiful, her mother must not be bad."

I took out my bag and carefully put the broken pieces of cloth into the bear little by little, gently and carefully.

Then, I knocked Zhou Ning's table down with a cold face, and she screamed, "Stinky bitch, what are you doing!"

I grabbed her by the hair and punched her hard in the face, and we scuffled together.

The identity of Zhou Ning's richest daughter has provided her with a lot of convenience, such as now.

A couple of dogs rushed up to protect her, slaps and fists raining down on me.

As if I didn't feel pain, I ignored all the attacks around me, and only cared about beating Zhou Ning, who was pressed by me.

"Apologize to my mom!"

My fierce stance scared her, her nose was bruised and her face was swollen from my beating, and her tears and snot were mixed together, "I'm sorry, I was wrong, don't fight again."

A tall sports student couldn't stop me, grabbed a chair and threw it at the back of my head.

The world was blood-red, and the noise in the classroom seemed to be far away from me, and I couldn't hear it clearly.

The bear is not cheap at all, it is a priceless treasure for me.

7、

The teacher took me to the hospital.

After regaining consciousness, there was a white expanse in front of me, and I closed my eyes hard and reopened them, and the picture finally became clearer.

The doctor's mournful voice still rings in my ears.

"The symptoms of brain cancer are headaches, vision loss until blurred vision, hearing loss with tinnitus, and sensory loss. As for the hallucinations you mentioned, it's because you have severe depressive tendencies."

"If you start chemotherapy now, you may be able to prolong your survival by a year or two. If you don't have chemotherapy, the time left for you may... Not much."

For a moment I was at a loss.

I don't want to die, I'm afraid that after I die, no one will remember my mother anymore.

Because of the siege, I suffered very serious external injuries, my head was wrapped in thick gauze, my body was bruised and purple, my legs were also injured, I walked with a limp, and my face was scratched by Zhou Ning's sharp nails, and the wounds were terrifying.

The doctor advised me to stay in the hospital for a month and prepare chemotherapy depending on how well the wound recovered.

But I only saved enough money to stay in the hospital for three weeks, and the cost of chemotherapy was high, so I was nervous that I needed to think about it.

My stepmother only sent me 1,000 yuan a month, and she said that this was what my father meant, and she would pay me until I was an adult, and she would not give me any help after that.

In less than a month, I will be 18 years old.

As the only biological daughter of the richest man in H City, she has no money for chemotherapy, if it is known, it should be on the hot search, I thought bitterly, the movements of my hands did not stop, sewing and mending on the bear doll.

I asked the nurse sister at the hospital for the needlework.

My craftsmanship is not as good as my mother's, the bear is crooked by me, looking at the big smile on the bear's face, I wet my eyes, "Welcome back, my dear bear."

Dad had already blocked my contact information, and I borrowed someone else's cell phone to call him.

"Who is it?"

I said nervously, "Dad, it's me, I'm sick......

Before I could finish speaking, he interrupted me sharply: "What if you're sick? Do you want me to take care of you? Ning Ning's face was injured by you, and she didn't dare to go to school. You are really a natural bad seed, it's not enough to kill your mother, do you want to harm Ning Ning now? Immature white-eyed wolf, I should strangle you when you are born!"

Sensing that he wanted to hang up the phone, I didn't care about explaining Zhou Ning's matter, and bit my lip in embarrassment: "I want to do chemotherapy, and the living expenses given by my aunt are not enough, can I ......?"