I've forgotten how I walked out of the medical office door that day. I just remember that when I cried in front of Dr. Mori regardless of my image, Dr. Mori showed a rare moment of helplessness and surprise.

He didn't seem to know how to deal with a child's crying, and he subconsciously reached out to me, but he took care of the whistle in his hand. So he put the whistle in his breast pocket, but then he regained his composure and pulled out a neatly stacked handkerchief from his pocket.

It wasn't until I had released my pent-up emotions, and when I had gone from crying to sobbing quietly, that Dr. Sen handed me the handkerchief: "Wipe your face." ”

I was embarrassed to take the handkerchief, but I didn't bother to wipe my face with it, but wiped it twice with the sleeve of my uniform. I was annoyed how I let Dr. Sen see me so out of control.

But I'm happy again.

It's as if all the depression and grievances [because Dr. Mori ignored me because he was good with Xie Ye] during this time finally have the best response. I didn't care at all if he said [won't take my feelings into account]—the moment he answered my request and blew the bone whistle.

I should have left the office floating.

As I floated away, I took the handkerchief with me.

Dr. Sen didn't mention it either, and I think he should have acquiesced.

In other words, when I gave him a bone whistle as a gift, I also received a gift from him at the same time. This realization makes me a little happier than I am. The pain in body and soul caused by the repeated deaths over the past few days seems to have been greatly lessened.

I went back to the front line, eager to share this happy event with my friends. The atmosphere on the front lines has been dark for too long, and everyone is shrouded in inescapable pain and despair.

If my happiness could infect them a little bit......

But when I returned to the camp, all I saw was a sluggish and numb Ueno. His eyes were dull and blank, and he stared quietly at a certain point in the void, not moving for a long time. If it weren't for the fact that he was still alive, I would have thought he was just a humanoid doll that looked so real.

"Ueno...... "I call him.

It was as if he hadn't heard me, and he didn't respond to my call at all. It wasn't until a small explosion sounded that Ueno seemed to be awakened suddenly.

His body first trembled violently as if he was frightened, and then his whole body trembled uncontrollably, and at the same time, a painful and distorted expression appeared on his face. It wasn't until the sound of the explosion had died down for a long time that he seemed to have collapsed, unloaded his strength, and relaxed.

"Kazama...... his voice was hoarse, "you're back." ”

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

In fact, the explosion was not very loud, and the location of the explosion was far away from the camp. After being on the front line for so long, I was already able to tell the distance of the explosion by listening to the loud sound. But Ueno still showed this reaction, as if it was a conditioned reflex.

And these months, we have been in such a frightened environment every day. In other words, the soldiers were not scared of being killed by bombs, nor by bullets, or even by bayonets.

What they are afraid of is that after experiencing these extreme pains, they will be cured by Xie Ye with strange abilities, and experience such pain next time. The cycle repeats endlessly.

"Kazama, you know what? In fact, a long time ago, I also envied you. Envy you for your ability to regenerate. Ueno said suddenly.

I was stunned, not knowing why he would talk about it. But Ueno was in a bad state, so I followed his words and talked to him: "It wasn't that long ago, it was just a few months. ”

"A few months?" He turned his head sluggishly and slowly to look at the dense notches on the wall, "That's right, it's only been less than three months. But it's been as long as my last life, and I can't remember what kind of life I had on the front three months ago. ”

I don't know how to reply to his words.

Then Ueno spoke to himself again.

"I always thought that if I could have this ability, then I would definitely be a god on the battlefield. Don't worry about death, don't worry about injury. I just need to think about how many heads I can harvest, and I can top an infantry squad by myself. Then I can climb up step by step, the commander of the army, the commander of Cao, the second lieutenant, the lieutenant, the lieutenant, the captain, and even the big sa. ”

"As long as I don't die, then I'll have countless chances. I can gain experience, kill people, and earn military merit on every new battlefield. I can even learn how to lay out, how to deploy, and learn to be a commander. As long as I don't die, I have countless opportunities, don't I? ”

"If there is such a day, you can do it." I comforted him.

Ueno laughed as if mocking. It was clear to him and I that this was simply not possible. Say anything to climb up, no one will die, as long as the war is not over, everyone will rot on the battlefield of Everdark Island.

"Kazama, do you hurt?" Ueno finally looked at me, and he asked very bluntly.

I...... Does it hurt?

Is it the pain of death? Or the pain of resurrection?

Of course it hurts.

"It's painful to be deprived of the right to die. I will never envy you again. ”

I have my eyelids.

This is nothing to envy in the first place.

Ever since the [Undead Legion's] plan was put into place, the front line has become like this - no one will leave a wounded companion behind, even if he is near-death. As long as he was injured, he immediately went to the warship's medical room and waited for Xie Ye's rescue.

In this way, from being injured to going to the battlefield, you will not waste a total of two hours. It only takes an hour for a person to go from being injured and endangered to being as intact. When the casualties are counted, the mortality rate drops to single digits, and the injury rate is a staggering zero percent.

I don't know when those days will end.

On the contrary, the dense number of days carved by Ueno on the wall has finally come to an end.

It was a very ordinary day.

Nothing has changed on Everdark Island, and the aurora still looms over the island. Only when the bomb exploded, the skyrocketing fire made the island as bright as day, which barely affected the beauty of the aurora.

An unremarkable war, an unremarkable thunder fell on me and Ueno. All you have to do is wait for the mine to detonate, and everyone in the trench will be dying, and then they will be carried to the infirmary and resurrected again.

I already had the end in mind.

The depleted physical strength made me even more lazy to move.

Die and die.

It's not bad this time anyway.

But just as I was about to be killed, a man pounced on me and slammed me to the ground. After a few laps, I was protected by him.

It's Ueno.

His arms were on my head and his legs were twisting my body, which was a perfectly safe position. And his back, exposed to the bombing point. I was in his arms, my ears were covered by him, and the sound of the explosion was separated by his hand.

It seems to be very close, but it seems to be far away, and it is not really heard.

All I could hear was Ueno's heavy breathing.

"Ueno ......?" I called him, "What are you doing with me, I won't die." ”

I was so anxious to break free of his body, but my teenage body simply didn't have the strength to compete with an adult. I could only watch as Ueno's lips quickly faded to a sickly pale.

"It's okay, Kazama. Anyway, I've experienced it so many times...... Right. His expression was distorted, and he was in great pain, and even his speech began to be choppy, "I, I hurt, you hurt less, one less." ”

"I'll call someone." As I spoke, I tried to ask the soldiers for help, but before I could speak, Ueno's mouth was covered.

His hand trembled and rested on my mouth. I could easily break free of his hand if I wanted to. As long as I ask the soldier for help, Ueno will be sent to the medical room and he will survive again.

But......

A thought flashed through me.

I don't struggle anymore.

"Kazama, actually...... I—I'm a coward. He gasped heavily, like a stranded fish, "I'm afraid, it hurts." He laughed again as he spoke, "Still, for the last time...... It's just that his back was blown up, and his face is okay, at least he died decently. ”

"Thank you, ...... Kazama"

Blood flowed down the back of his neck and onto my face, which he was holding in his arms. I felt his blood turn from warm to cold, and his body dissipated and became stiff.

I remembered when I first met him.

When was that?

He said he felt guilty for leaving me on the battlefield.

And I've really left him on the battlefield now.

I killed him.

I killed him with my own hands.

I'm missing a friend. Strangely, I didn't feel any heartache. I just felt a little detached from reality, as if everything in the world was unreal, and I was in a strange world that was half empty and half real.

In a trance, I heard someone ask about the casualties.

"Ueno." I heard my hoarse voice.

"Who?"

"Ueno, Ueno Muramasa." I repeat it again.

"Report! Private Uenomura Masa, has been declared dead! ”

A heart-warming sentence pulled me back from my trance to reality. I looked around and realized that there was already a line, and I was standing at the very end of the line. This is a routine post-war count, counting the number of deaths. And in this war, Ueno was the only one to be declared dead.

"Why did you die?" It was Dr. Sen, who was sternly questioning the search and rescue soldiers, "Is this how you carry out your mission?" Can even a wounded person be dragged until death before finding out? ”

"When we found Ueno Muramasa, he, he was with Kazama, and he was dead by then."

"Kazama?"

Dr. Mori heard my name and walked straight up to me. His boots slammed on the ground, and every step felt like it was crushing my heart.

The next moment, I felt a sharp pain in my jaw. Dr. Sen pinched my jaw with one hand and forced me to look up at him. His hand was so strong that it seemed like he was going to crush my jawbone. And the moment I met his eyes, I found that his eyes were full of cold anger.

"Kazama, why didn't you report it?"

Report...... What? My brain was spinning slowly, and after thinking about it for a long time, I barely reacted to Dr. Sen's question, was he saying why I didn't report Ueno's injury?

I opened my mouth, barely getting used to the dryness of my throat before I uttered, "Yes, I watched him die, I killed him." ”

My jaw was let go by Dr. Sen. He threw my head to the side very vigorously, and the next second he pulled out a pistol from the holster on his waist.

"Bang-bang-"

With two deafening gunshots, I immediately fell to my knees weakly and fell to my knees in front of Dr. Sen. All I could see was his legs, and the cold light reflected off his black boots. The sharp pain in both thighs made me know where Dr. Sen's two shots were. But then he shot me in both thighs.

"Kazama Hunting, covering up his teammates to commit suicide, no one is allowed to treat him." He put the gun back in its holster and looked at the soldiers lined up, "As for you, if you continue to cover up the suicide of your teammates, what awaits you will be a more painful punishment than dying on the battlefield." ”

Shielding, teammates, suicide......

It turns out that even the right to die has been denied.