Silo is in an extremely complicated mood now, and she can't figure out what attitude to use towards the person in front of her who seems familiar and strange, but the priority now is not on this.

She hesitated for a moment, not daring to be too tough to stimulate Jiang Yan, and not daring to be too weak to make the other party not listen to her words, it took a lot of time just to organize the language in her heart.

Fortunately, Jiang Yan is a very patient person, and she looks at Siluo quietly and gently, until she thinks clearly what to say.

“…… I don't know why you can't think about it, but it's all in the past anyway, and you're ...... is the queen mother of the Great Jin Dynasty, from now on, the brocade clothes and jade food are glorious and rich, what else can't you think of? ”

When Jiang Yan heard this, she was a little confused.

"You said that you were Queen Chu's companion and grew up in one place, but ...... With all due respect, your reaction doesn't look like some loyal maid. ”

Siluo was shocked, then her left hand subconsciously shook her right arm, and said with low eyebrows: "Maybe it's ...... I'm not faithful enough, people always have to live first. ”

Jiang Yan thinks this child is very special.

She had indeed seen all kinds of such maids and slaves before, but no matter what she thought in her heart, she was always loyal on her face, which had nothing to do with their hearts, mainly "loyalty" was the most important thing for slaves and maids, and it was the foundation of their lives.

Ministers still have the saying that "a good bird chooses a tree to perch on", but as a slave, it seems that he can only be attached to one master, just as a wife can only have one husband...... No, even if the wife can still be divorced or remarried, but the slave has only one way to go, no matter what the reason, once he betrays the master, it is the most despised, and the spurning he suffers is especially better than the woman's loss of virginity.

And what Siro is saying and doing now, if not betraying the master, is not far off.

Jiang Yan looked at Siluo quietly, and didn't speak, but looked at her a little uneasy, and looked away for a moment with a side face, but moved back again.

Silo's expression was firm, and she didn't show any weakness: "In short, although I have my selfish intentions, what I said just now is really from my heart, if you live, it is a blessing for everyone." ”

She stood up and brought the tray with her: "I'll go and tell the kitchen to heat up the meal, mother...... No, Miss Jiang, please think about it. ”

It seems that this child also knows that blindly preventing Jiang Yan from committing suicide is not a long-term solution, isn't it easy for a person to want to die, no matter how dedicated others are, as long as they don't tie their hands and feet, there will always be a time when they can't stand it.

It's better to leave her time to think alone, and whether she can succeed depends on her destiny.

*

Jiang Yan leaned on the head of the bed, watching Siluo withdraw lightly to close the door, and she was the only one left in the room.

She stared at the lines of the bed tent for a moment, then lowered her head and looked down at the body's hands.

This is a pair of very beautiful and perfect hands, the fingers are slender, as if shaving onions, the complexion is white and crystalline, and most importantly, the white color is still a healthy blood color, the nails are full and round, with a pearl-like luster and translucent luster, and the ten fingers are thin but not firewood, and it is a pampered and well-maintained hand.

Jiang Yu also had such a pair of hands.

They all seemed to like the fingers, whether it was holding her in their hands and playing with her, or ...... Between the sheets, they all like to play tirelessly.

But then her body deteriorated day by day, she couldn't eat, she could never lift her spirits, and over time, her whole person was very thin, and even the little bit of meat on her hands was gone.

Before she died, the hands that had once been delicate as if they were carefully carved by a skilled craftsman had been thin and exposed protruding bones, the skin was loose, and the surface of the nails was pitted and dull.

She didn't want to look at those ugly hands herself, and she didn't know how the person could still have the interest to hold them in her hands and rub them, put them to her mouth and kiss them.

No, I can't think about it anymore......

Jiang Yu closed her eyes forcefully, took a deep breath, and forced herself to focus her thoughts on the present instead of the past.

She began to think about Chu Qianhua, about Siluo, and about what she was going to do next.

This was rare, because she couldn't put aside those bad emotions so easily before, and there was only one thing she could calm down and think about every day - that is, how and when she should die.

The rest of the time, my mind is always full of all kinds of memories, those unbearable past, the disdainful eyes of many people, always echoing in my heart over and over again.

There is also speculation that she will involuntarily spend a lot of time imagining how those familiar and strange people will talk about her behind her back, and even those foul words are concretized in every word.

But in fact, the person who dared to despise her in person and insult her with foul language only existed many years ago, and later, when that person became more and more powerful and powerful, even if those people looked down on Jiang Yan in their hearts, they would never dare to show that contempt and hostility in front of her.

But Jiang Yan couldn't control it, just like she couldn't control the idea of wanting to die, she also couldn't control secretly imagining what others were talking about in private.

Day after day, year after year, for a long time, Jiang Yu no longer knows what positive emotions such as "happy" and "curious" taste.

In this regard, no matter how clever the doctor is, he advises her to "think about it a little", "don't think too much" or "be happy", it is not that she does not want to do it, but she really can't do it.

But now, with a different body, it seems that even the mind has changed, and the boulder that is suppressed in the heart does not seem to be so insurmountable.

Little by little, time passed.

Even if she was not favored by the emperor and was almost driven out of the palace in embarrassment, at least in this humble palace, Chu Qianhua was still the only master, and her every move maintained everyone's lives, and no one dared to disobey her orders.

Jiang Yu didn't open her mouth now, except for Siluo, no one else dared to disturb, and for nearly two days, Jiang Yan easily got the time to think alone.

In the past two days, Jiang Yu has always been alone, quietly leaning on the head of the bed, closing her eyes and resting in this position when she is tired, and returning to her original posture when she wakes up.

I don't know how much I have on my mind to think about.

Seeing that Jiang Yu almost didn't feel hungry except for the occasional tea, and didn't eat a grain of rice, she was secretly frightened in her heart, and while desperately trying to persuade her, she was afraid that she would be stimulated by persuasion, so she struggled for a long time, and never dared to act rashly.

Finally, it was the evening of the second day.

Jiang Yan looked at the sky outside, which had completely darkened.

She stepped out of bed with her arms crossed, staggered to the window, sat down in a chair, and opened it.

I don't know what season it is, the weather is neither cold nor hot, and the moment she opened the window, Jiang Yan smelled the pleasant fragrance of plants and trees and the fragrance of flowers.

The light but refreshing smell was inhaled into her chest, Jiang Yan couldn't help but take a deep breath, and found that the knot in her chest unconsciously dissipated a little.

There was no need to deliberately recall happy things, and there was no need to avoid the embarrassment and pain of the past with difficulty, just smelling this insignificant fragrance, she was so easily happy.

It's been three years......

Now it's three years since she was there, thousands of miles away from where she was, and it's even ...... None of them are the Qin State.

No one here will know about her previous unbearable experience, no one will flatter her face and scold her back, and the strange gaze that follows her completely disappears.

It's like a new life.

Jiang Yu gently placed her hand on her chest, feeling the strong and rhythmic heartbeat of this body, looking up at the sky, only to see that the stars in the sky lit up the dark night, making everything on this night so beautiful and moving.

This day should be a clear and cloudless day.

She felt hungry.