Book friend ibliv13 comments on "God of War"
Hello Pippi, I've been watching you and have something to say to you.
I'm a live player who has played from Live 3 to the present, and the level is not first-class or professional, but there is no opponent in the school class, and I usually watch football a lot, so I think I have such an understanding of football, but for literature, I can be regarded as a layman, so I will also say my opinion on your film from the perspective of football and live events.
Some people say that this is like martial arts, but I was fortunate enough to read some of Mr. Jin Yong's works (not the kind of broken play that I watched TV series), and I think you can't be regarded as a martial artist in the real world.
Mr. Jin Yong writes countless routines with a clear eye, every move and style are written very clearly and coherently, reading it seems that some high-roller knights have appeared in front of him, and looking at Mr. Jin Yong's words, you can also understand how some martial arts are made.
Pippi,You're a little worse in this regard.,There's not much description of live tricks.,It's biased towards the description of the live screen picture.,It's like you're commenting on an actual football game.,And each version of the live has some bugs and even tricks for passing and defending.,For example, what you said about "Silkworm Shield",The name is good.,But how to make it.,Readers don't know.,It feels like being fooled by your beautiful words.,The real live world can really be made like "Silkworm Shield" That kind of defense, but I want you to go into detail.
I reckon you'll have a lot of similar tricks in the future, and I hope you'll insert some explanations about tricks to bring your live skills to life, as Mr. Kim did.
Then, I want to say that your plot arrangement is full of attraction to me, but the middle is a little too descriptive of the characters' feelings, and finally some of them are gradually returning to the topic.
I feel like you're paying too much attention to the door number struggle and emotional scenes.,It would be better if you could add some other elements.,For example, a personal cultivation system like a game RPG.,Describe it like experience growth.,What tricks did the hero learn today.,What artifact will you get tomorrow.,It's best to describe the hardships.,Let us all sweat for the hero.,When the hero learns,,And for the hero to be happy.γ
Regarding the faction dispute,I always hope not to stay on 433 and 433,I hope that there is some kind of dark force behind the scenes, but it's not easy to detect.,Or the hero is looking for a famous teacher.,Or for something important to challenge some strong bosses.,You can also consider inviting foreign masters to join your "God of War" world.γ
That,And,Regarding the women in the story,I think you should arrange more female players.,Don't treat female players as rare.,In fact, there are a lot of female players in the real world.,It's just that the level isn't necessarily very high.γ
In addition, your description of female players was relatively monotonous from the beginning, and later the words were diversified, but the female players were always set as a beautiful type, either beautiful and arrogant, or playful and cute, although beauty is the driving force of economic growth, but it can't be all beauties, which I admire Mr. Jin, who can describe girls who don't look like fairies very deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, and Cheng Lingsu, who I like very much, is this type, haha.
In addition, after all, the live game has appeared for more than 10 years, if you use a long martial arts culture to render, we don't have this cultural ability, and we don't have this historical background, so it's more difficult, and it is inevitable that there will be some logical errors, but I still hope that Pipsqueak can challenge this task and find another way, maybe you can find a way to write the real situation.
In addition, I think that Pipsqueak may not be a master, so you can't explain some live techniques and football tactics very thoroughly, in fact, I prefer that this one is not so focused on the development of the plot, but a piece of paradise that can evoke the memories of the past and discuss the live technology. Although the live game, from the team's restraint selection, formation tactical layout, on-the-spot manipulation, on-the-spot tactics, each of which is a long story that can't be said, so I hope that you can see something really about the live situation, rather than the plot, many people only pay attention to the plot, not pay attention to logic and text, I think the people who watch this are mostly live players, so I also hope you can take care of the identity of everyone who is a live player to write this, you say yes.
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My reply:
Back to ibliv13
In fact, when I was thinking about this, I thought about it for a long time, how to express the live scenes, and whether the technical movements and tricks must be written out of the keys.
Later, I figured out that this is not a tutorial after all, and if the content is filled with a lot of key symbols, I don't think many people will be able to read it. So I went the way I am.
In fact, take Jin Yong's martial arts as an example, most of the tricks and martial arts in the book are just how they look and how they work, and Jin Daxia rarely mentions how these tricks and martial arts are used. Therefore, no matter how many times readers watch Jin Yong, they will not become a martial arts master, and no matter how many times readers watch my live performance, they will not become a real master.
As for the personal cultivation system, in fact, I also mentioned it, it is the previous level, for example, Su Xiaoyang has practiced for so long and is still at the four-star level, for example, a master like Lin Xiao Chutian is only at the seven-star level, and Zhou Yunfei has challenged nine-star before, and the highest level is ten stars, and so on. This kind of level may not be experienced by the reader now, but the later it goes, the higher the protagonist's ability, and the deeper these will be experienced. But after all, this kind of cultivation is very different from that of Xianxia Fantasy, so it will definitely not be as obvious as that type.
There is also a faction dispute, the current 433, 442, Tianlong, Jiujian and Red Sun are only some representative teams in China, and the contradictions between them can only be the contradictions in the early stage, in fact, in the future, there will be these things you said.
Regarding the women in the story, I haven't reached the level of Jin Daxia yet, so I can only win with beautiful women for the time being, haha, but I will try to write each beauty with distinctive characteristics.
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IBLIV13 Second Statement:
Hello Pippi, thank you very much for reading my message and replying.
First of all, I want to correct you is that Jin Yong's martial arts has a detailed description of the characters' tricks, you can look through any of his films, as long as it is a fierce fight scene that needs to be described, Mr. Jin will depict the battle picture vividly, you can say that you are wrong. But the reason why we didn't become a martial arts master after reading Mr. Jin's description is that we don't have enough understanding or just don't have other people's depictions in our minds, after all, no one can become a martial arts master just by watching, and we don't have to rely on accumulated practice to do anything.
I don't know what the world's first-class professional masters are, but I've seen some of the best players than me, and people are quick to press out the combination of keys, and even the sound of the keys is very continuous, and even I can now listen to the sound of the opponent's keys to know whether the opponent is going to pass, shoot, or pass (because the sound of the keys in each position on the handle is different).
So I think it's important to strengthen the depiction of the flow of buttons, I don't know what your level of action is, but I certainly won't be satisfied with just looking at your depiction of the actions of the players on the field.
Also,I hope you add live technology to you,It's not a full text of button descriptions,It depends on your writing skills,Mr. Jin Yong put beautiful sword moves,Strong boxing,Smart legs interspersed in the competition,In the plot,The description is angular and angular,There are looks,And the names of the tricks are very good,It requires writing skills,I hope you put more effort in this regardγ
Also, regarding the personal cultivation system, it's not a computer with a few stars as you say. I think the strength of a person depends on his opponent's performance. His opponents are strong, which shows that his level is high. When I was a child, I read Dragon Ball and Yuyu Hakusho.,I don't know if Pippi has read it.,There are a lot of martial arts tournaments in it.,Every time the hero can meet a different.,Opponents with different special skills.,So as to get exercise.,Improve your skills.γ
Like a live thing, I have participated in a lot of competitions anyway, and I have won a lot of ranking prizes, if I want to practice to become a master, I think that participating in competitions, playing with different people can make progress, Su Xiaoyang follows the computer all day long, and his thinking habits are rigid, and he follows the nameless mix every day, listening to him say some ways of playing from various factions, there is no actual combat, just like listening to the book of heaven. You can design more games, or write Su Xiaoyang to learn the arts, the rules of the game can be changed (for example, the two sides must randomly choose a team, or each team member can only use it once in the whole competition, etc.), these I have spent time with others, and it is a game that can really test the level.
I still think that the story in you is too procrastinated, and the emotional drama is too heavy, maybe I don't understand it very well, but I prefer to see fierce battles and strong opponents, I hope you will work hard and dedicate more and faster updates to everyone.
Thank you again, Pippi!
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