After getting off the plane, my uncle took me home, I breathed a sigh of relief, I understood that the air here is incomparable to Sydney, but I finally went home, finally returned to Wuxi, even if I let me inhale poison gas and die, I am willing to die. My uncle kept chatting with me, asking about life outside my country, I just put on a smiling face and said a few perfunctory words, he spoke very slipperily, basically without pause, I estimated in my heart that maybe I had made a draft before I came, memorized the sentences, I looked at the mirror and contempted him, clean and neat. During this time, I also passed by the funeral home, and I remembered the clouds of the past, and I looked up and stared. In front of me, a few minutes away from me, it suddenly fell behind me, my eyesight was poor, it gradually blurred, disappeared. I thought if I had to choose again, I would hesitate, I would wonder if I should go in or not. However, it was this choice that trapped me for sixteen years, and I never understood how my future choices would affect my future path, if I didn't go in that day and took a course for a day, I wouldn't have met Mo Yu, Jiang Mengqi, and Jiang Xinke in the posthumous photo......

When I got home, I was the only one in the house, no one came to welcome me, my mother left a few months ago, I didn't go to the funeral, how I was buried abroad, I didn't cry, I don't know why, I thought this was not worth crying, and her idea was indispensable to send me out back then, so, let's die, and people always have to die. But when I stepped through the door, I began to resent myself for being too cruel, for being too cruel, for being too cruel? Anyway, I thought it was right, and no one would take into account my feelings, just praise me and scold me, my heart was already numb.

My mother's funeral was all planned by my uncle, and I was not there.

There is no busy figure of the mother. I opened the door, but I still habitually shouted, "Mom, I'm back." But I found that no one answered, I walked through the room, looking for some long-sealed memories, until in a room, I found a color photo, it was just a posthumous photo, yes, just a posthumous photo, covered with ash, the color photo covered like a gray old photo, in college, I didn't dare to go home, I didn't want to face the reality, I thought how strong my heart was, at least there was a trace of self-deception, deceived that my mother was still alive. I took off my burden and touched a handful of cold photos, there was no residual warmth, and my mother's face was simply worlds apart, and even my own hands were full of dust.

I looked around for a rag, hating myself as I looked, this home that has raised you for so many years, and now I can't find even a rag? I hated it so much that I kicked the table in front of me, the table didn't move, and my toes were probably useless. Unable to achieve anything, I ended up lying on the couch covered with a white cloth, looking at the ceiling, and I don't know how long later, I fell asleep.

A voice faded away, when I woke up, I actually stepped on the bluestone slab bricks, the bluestone slabs after the rain were a little slippery, and the bluestone stepped out of the middle was round and smooth, there was no one around, only scattered raindrops slapped my cheeks indiscriminately, and accompanied me through this path. I was a little inexplicably worried, but with an indescribable sense of pleasure, a sense of relief.

A touch of the fragrance of Longjing tea drilled into my nose, permeated my mind, my brain became cheerful, I have a feeling, there are people here, there must be people here! I walked through the old alleys, brushed over the mottled city wall, this is the face of an old man who has gone through vicissitudes, for some reason, I think of my mother, usually the appearance is glamorous, and in private it is difficult to escape the claws of time, and only then can I see her truest side, a face that years can not keep, the slightest wrinkles, and the city wall but also have a fight. I look at it, the alley is long, like a life that has passed, there is no end in sight, but I understand that there is always an end. On both sides is the woodcut archway, which records the glitz of the year and engraves the changes of history.

Crossing the green tiles of the old bridge again, the broken wood and bricks of the eaves led me to a small tea shop.

In the corridor by the distant river, I saw Guo Qi printed with the word "tea", old-fashioned rattan chairs, neatly arranged tables of eight immortals, and the gusts of cooking smoke blown up by the wind were drifting towards me unconsciously, and I suddenly fell into a looming mist.

A pipa, accompanied by a familiar opera, a delicate woman wearing a cheongsam, with white jade-like legs to cushion the pipa of ancient wood strings, I shouldn't know her, I think of Jiang Mengqi's appearance, I haven't seen her for many years, and I also have a trace of nostalgia.

There was a person sitting on the mahogany chair next to him, and my first reaction was to think that this person was so familiar, with a hazy cloud hiding his mysterious face, and a pot of tea and two delicate small teacups were brewed on the table in front of him. He kept pouring tea into his own teacup, but put the other teacup in front of an empty chair opposite, slow and methodical, gentle and elegant, every move reflected his unique temperament, although I couldn't see his face clearly, but how I wished that time stopped at this moment, I was not too far away from the man, nor too close, I just wanted to look at him quietly.

I think I have guessed who he is, and my heart is so contradictory, what posture should I use to face him? A person like me with a strong psychological quality, but at this moment it is full of loopholes, forgetting what gestures and eyes are usual, forgetting what subtle movements. I'm so innocent that I don't like myself.

"I, Xu Tai, have never known what it means to be entangled. I straightened my chest, crossed my hands behind my back, and took the first step of calmness, and my steps were out of control, and the closer I got to him, the faster my heart beat and the more steady my steps became.

"I haven't seen you for a long time, forgive me for missing my welcome. He took a sip of tea lightly, and then put down the teacup slightly, without making a single noise, looking at me, the corners of his mouth rose, revealing his first smile at me in his life, and then sighed at me: "Childe is almost an adult, and the stranger is like jade." ”

I just blindly looked at him and didn't speak, why were my eyes red, I looked at the man who gave me an oath, the man who made me wait for sixteen years, and my heart was indescribably excited and emotional, but why did I behave so excited, I patted the table and jumped up, the teacup was also startled by me, and shook a few times, and the cold man was still drinking the tea in the cup plainly, seeing my wet red eyes, quietly waiting for my tears to fall, I desperately held back, lowered my head, didn't want him to see my weak appearance now, he was silent, kept looking at me。 Finally, there was a voice "If you want to cry, cry, endure it for so many years, don't pretend to be strong anymore, I like the way you cry next to me." The cold words touched my sore spot at once, indeed, I couldn't help it, I cried in my dream, the tears fell on the tea in front of me, I really don't understand what it will taste like if a drop of bitter tears falls from the fragrant tea, I haven't drunk it anyway.

He also stood up, the man who seemed tall to me back then, is not much taller than me now, he withdrew his brief smile, a look of frost and indifference back then, and we were so deadlocked, he was a little abrupt, stretched out his slender but cold fingers. I had already learned his hands that did not leave a trace of warmth, but now they were wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes, and I suddenly felt flattered.

I couldn't hold it back, I didn't even know why I was crying on the surface, but inside I was ecstatic, I burst into tears and laughed, holding his hand that was wiping my tears. He was a little surprised, and didn't show it on his face, but his hands trembled slightly. After that, he smiled again, "I'm sorry, I'm late." ”

I nodded silently, he may be my only relative, and at this moment, I went home, not only my body, but also my heart that I thought I was homeless.

The first time we met in a dream, he smiled at me for the first time, and I cried to him for the first time.

I hurriedly pulled his sleeve, he didn't resist, followed my footsteps, not in a hurry, was walking on a stone bridge, I looked back at him, but found that it was no longer him, it was a skinless corpse, yes, it was her again, Mo Yu was back, Jiang Xinke was also back, she grabbed my throat with a pair of bloody hands, and I saw the lingering shadow from before again.

I retreated, stumbled step by step, climbed over the white jade railing, fell into the river, only to hear the water splashing, some choking, I gradually sank into the water, unable to open my eyes, my hands and feet together and used in the water to continue to flutter, I can swim but at this moment but I am weak, unconsciously I have no intuition, stop struggling and let my body sink into the abyss, I feel so dark around, very depressed, there is no hope in my heart "This is the end"

I gasped and came back to my senses, I was still in this empty room, there was no Mo Yu, and there was no Jiang Xinke, I sighed, everything was just a dream.

I continued to be paralyzed, obsessed with that ancient street, which became clearer and more familiar.