2023.12.17 / Li Duxi

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It's November in Beijing, and it's dark.

It had snowed at night, and when I stood out of the window, I saw a thin layer of frost in the yard, as if it had been frozen.

Zhong Li reached out to touch it, touched the cold and hard glass, and hurriedly retracted.

There was a muffled chuckle in his ears, and he seemed to be laughing.

Zhong Li was stunned, and his numb nerve endings were touched, bringing with him the feeling of trembling and palpitations that he had not seen for a long time. Fortunately, the heating by the window was thin so that it didn't make people dizzy, and she calmed down after a while and turned around.

But it was Lu Yanshen.

At that moment, she couldn't tell whether she was disappointed or relieved, and subconsciously smiled at him: "Why are you?" ”

"Who do you think it is?"

Zhong Li avoided his burning and meaningful eyes, and diverted the topic: "I knew you were coming, I wouldn't have come to offer ugliness, I wouldn't have tasted any criticisms, they were all Xiyue ......"

"Excessive humility is pride." Gu Xiyue giggled and pounced on her, hugging her from behind.

Before Zhong Li could react, she had already touched her chest with lustful eyes, and exclaimed: "Baby, are you secretly eating papaya behind my back, why are your breasts getting bigger again?" ”

said that Zhong Li was red-faced.

"It's almost fine, she's thin-skinned." Lu Yan glanced at her lightly, and his eyes admonished.

Gu Xiyue snorted, not afraid of him at all.

One after another, other people came to say hello, some of them were in their circle, and there were also some familiar faces on TV, probably looking for opportunities. Seeing Zhong Li, some people also showed a look of surprise, looked at her, and then glanced at Lu Yanshen and Gu Xiyue beside her, revealing a tacit look of understanding.

When he was with Rong Ling, Zhong Li was taken by him to various occasions, and such a gaze was not uncommon.

At first, she would feel embarrassed and ashamed of such stares, but gradually she began to get used to it, and even smiled in response.

The impact of some things on people is subtle and irreversible.

Otherwise, why is it always said that it is easy to go from thrift to luxury, and it is difficult to go from luxury to thrift?

Three months away from him, she was stripped of her bones.

Sometimes when you look at someone in the mirror, you may feel very unfamiliar.

It's still the same face, but it's like a shell left, and there's no reason to feel a sense of fear.

"Sit down for a while, it's a rare trip." Gu Xiyue pulled her to the sofa and sat down, and let people serve snacks, insisting that she said where she had left Beijing in the past few months.

With such a background, she has been spoiled since she was a child, and she is always true and unguarded to people.

And in this circle, she is also one of the few people who does not have colored glasses for her.

Zhong Li has a gentle personality, especially not good at refusing other people's kindness, so he had to smile and say, "Where else can I go?" Filming. ”

"Everywhere?"

"Well, I have to go to many places to shoot this drama in my hand."

"It's so cool, my mom won't let me go out-"

Zhong Li smiled, but there was a different kind of sourness in his heart.

Someone loves a girl who cares about someone, so she is not allowed to go on this and that.

Lu Yanshen saw it and stroked her arm.

Gu Xiyue didn't realize it, and raised her head and glared at him.

"It's not early, I really have to go back, there will be a play tomorrow morning." Zhong Li got up and said goodbye.

"I'll send you." Lu Yan fished out his coat and got up without question.

When I got outside, the air was soothing, like a suffocating sauna, and the airflow in my chest suddenly became smoother.

The long corridor seemed to have no end, and my feet were on the carpet, sinking into a soft patch.

Silent all the way.

Zhong Li wanted to say goodbye to him at the door of the clubhouse, but when he turned around, he saw that he had no intention of leaving, and couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

Speaking of which, they are not familiar either.

A few times, it was Rong Ling who did the east.

She is not good at words, let alone a person with eight faces, and with the natural awe of the people in their circle, she is a little cramped at the moment.

But he is somewhat different from those gentlemen in that circle.

When she quarreled with Rong Ling, everyone else was watching the excitement, or seeing the wind making the rudder fall into the well to curry favor with the young master of the Rong family, only he would persuade a few words calmly, and Zhong Li did not have a bad impression of him.

"Did he have something for you to bring to me?" Then she spoke.

Lu Yanshen said: "I'm afraid of trouble, I never be a messenger, and he will tell him when he arrives in a while." ”

Zhong Li was dumbfounded for a while.

The night in Beijing was very cold, not to mention that it was already winter, and the cold wind was blowing, so she squeezed her hands.

Lu Yanshen glanced at her, and his gaze couldn't help but linger for a while.

Although I have seen her many times, every time I see this face, I still have an inexplicable sense of restlessness. It has nothing to do with Fengyue, it is purely a visual impact.

Compared with four years ago, she has grown a lot, although she is still such a bright and delicate goose egg face, slightly faded a little green, bright eyes, looking forward to shining, a small mole on the tip of the nose is a little delicate and charming. The figure is completely different from the face, if the shoulders are cut, the coil is smooth and bright, and the slender waist is not full of hand.

Such a peerless beauty, incomparable beauty, is unforgettable.

Lu Yanshen suddenly understood Rong Ling a little.

Zhong Li really didn't fit to stand like this with others: "Why don't you go back first, I can wait myself." ”

"That's not going to work. Entrusted by others to be loyal to others. I walked on the front foot, you slipped on the back foot, and he couldn't see anyone after a while, where can I reason? ”

Zhong Li smiled dryly, and said in his heart that it was not enough.

But looking at his cold eyebrows and indifferent posture, he obviously didn't believe her.

She sighed and gave up.

After that, there was a long wait, the embarrassment of being speechless.

However, it was only her who was embarrassed.

Lu Yanshen's expression was as calm as usual, seemingly gentle, but in fact cold, this may be the norm in their circle. She didn't understand it very well before, but then she understood that if she has too much, people's emotions will gradually become numb.

But most of the time, he's not a difficult person to get along with.

When she wants to seek an answer to some questions, others either disdain to answer, or watch the fire from the other side, laughing at her anxious appearance, but he doesn't look at her as an outsider with strange eyes, and will give her an answer peacefully.

Zhong Li remembered the sentence he had asked him not long ago, and after listening to it, he muttered for a while, and asked her, if she were Rong Ling, what would she choose?

Zhong Li was silent.

Lu Yanshen said again that there are so many children in their family, but not every one of them is promising, and there are only a few who are promising, but as long as he is not so promising, there will be no such result between her and him.

She had heard a lot of ugly words, and relatively speaking, Lu Yanshen's words were euphemistic.

But it is more profound, powerless and hopeless.

At the beginning of the day, the city really unveils the scene of bustling and hustle and bustle.

The traffic on the roadside is endless, and the light strip shuttling in the time and space of the streamer illusion image, after looking at it for a long time, the vision is tired, and people don't know where they are. In the distance, the dark houses were still shrouded in the night, silent.

"He's coming, I'm leaving." Lu Yanshen patted her on the shoulder and went down the steps.

Zhong Li came back to his senses and looked up, and a car stopped at the intersection not far away.

There was a long figure standing in the snow, as if it blended in with the night, and I don't know how long I had been standing.

Zhong Li walked over after a while and asked in a dry voice, "When did you come?" ”

Rong Ling said: "It didn't take long. ”

Zhong Li smiled, but he didn't know how to continue.

More than three months have passed, and the previous hysterical labor pain has long passed, and now there is only calm indifference.

"Come with me." Later he said.

"Okay."

The alley at night is quiet, and the moonlight sprinkles on the concrete floor, as if covered with a hazy mist. Two shadows were projected on the dim ground, moving slowly, leaning on each other, like a pair of beautiful people.

Zhong Li couldn't tell what he felt in his heart, so he walked with him for a long time.

"Go back, there's a dead end ahead." She finally stopped.

Rong Ling looked back at her, just like that, looking at her quietly, the emotions in her eyes were so complicated that she took her breath.

She knew that she should walk away and keep a cold face, but in fact, she was always cold to him.

Zhong Li still smiled in the end, and said gently: "Don't be like this, you can get together and disperse after saying it, and you will still ......be friends in the future."

He interrupted her coldly: "I'm not friends with my ex-girlfriend. ”

Zhong Li was silent, looking at his face hidden in the dark, not knowing what to say.

Rong Ling's face was calm, but the green tendons looming on his forehead were still a little unusual. Although he tried his best to restrain himself and try his best to maintain decency, as soon as he spoke, he was inevitably a little hoarse: "It's decided? ”

Zhong Li subconsciously clenched his palms, and after a while, he let go of it with relief: "I got the admission letter." ”

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"When are you leaving?"

He got to the bottom of it like this, which not only made her helpless, but also painful in her heart: "Don't ask." ”

Rong Ling pulled the corners of his mouth and smiled lightly: "It's all decided to leave, are you still afraid to tell me the time?" ”

Zhong Li is really sad that he is like this, he is such a proud person.

But some things have to be stopped, and she heard her own clear voice: "The morning after tomorrow." ”

Rong Ling didn't ask.

After a while, as if remembering something, he took out a note from his pocket and handed it to her. Zhong Li glanced down and saw a string of phone calls written on it.

"You can call this if you have something."

"Whose phone number?"

"Lao Lu."

“…… Why look for him? ”

"Hello to others." He paused, and then said, "Don't look for Lao Xu, he's not a good thing." ”

"How can there be such a thing as you, no one has provoked you." Zhong Li wanted to pretend to laugh playfully, but there was a sour feeling in his throat, as if he was blocked.

The wind blew, raising the fallen leaves curled under the feet, and there was a kind of awe-inspiring roughness when it brushed the back of the hand.

The two of them stood wordlessly on the side of the road for a long time, as if waiting for the last moment when the movie ended, silent in the dark, just waiting for the lights to turn on, a dazzling lamp to turn on, and the song ended with people dispersed, and finally exited.

Zhong Li stood with him for a long time, and really felt that he had nothing to say, so he turned around to leave.

There was a strong force behind him, grabbing her wrist, and the force was so great that it passed from his cold fingertips through her skin and down the tendons to her heart.

Zhong Li shuddered, and suddenly wanted to shed tears.

She endured it again and again, and finally said with a crying voice: "Pay attention to your body, don't always travel, don't always work late, remember to eat on time, stomach problems can be big or small......"

"Don't talk about it, it sounds like you're going to explain what happened." He smiled, and the strength in his hand loosened again.

Zhong Li wiped his eyes and said with a smile: "Don't curse yourself like this." ”

Rong Ling looked at the continuous houses in the distance, and was silent for a long time before he said: "The house in Wudaoying, I asked Xie Ping to put it under your name, and you have time to sign it, or have someone send it to you." ”

Zhong Li listened, and was silent for a long time before he said, "No need to do this...... I'm not going to make trouble at your wedding. ”

Rong Ling's hand hanging down at his side trembled, and he smiled reluctantly: "Look at what you said." ”

Zhong Li was about to turn around, but he suddenly opened his mouth to stop her, his voice was rapid and short, and there was a kind of panic and persistence that suddenly woke up from a dream: "Zhong Li! If, if I say I won't live with her......"

Would you like to stay?

He didn't say the rest of the words, because he saw her eyes.

Zhong Li smiled at him and turned around with his bag in his hand.

As she passed by, her thin shoulder bumped into him, and there were countless chances that he could reach out.

But then there was still none, just calmly watching her leave.

Let a heart be torn apart and sink into darkness where no light will ever be seen again.

They parted at the intersection, and instead of asking him to send it, she got into a car that had already been built.

He also got into his car.

In the middle of the night, the car wandered aimlessly through the streets, like a ghost, and at some point the scenery outside the car window was rapidly retreating, and when he reacted, the bridge in his field of vision was already close at hand.

In desperation, he slammed on the brakes.

The airbag pushed him up, and the constant sound of sirens was in his ears.

The world was quiet at this moment, his chest was filled with something, and he couldn't breathe.

I wanted to laugh, but I tasted salty and astringent in my mouth.

When I woke up the next day, he was in the hospital, and the pungent smell of disinfectant water was in his nose. The afternoon sun was too harsh, and he reached out to block it, frowning.

Lu Yanshen stood by the window peeling apples for him, and when he saw that he was awake, he came over and leaned over and handed it to him.

When handing over the apple, he didn't forget to look at him seriously for a while, and sighed: "Suicide? Where in the world is there no grass, can't you do it? ”

"Neurotic!" Rong Ling was not angry, closed his eyes, "Accident." ”

"It's good not to commit suicide." Lu Yan stretched out the chair and sat next to him, seeing that he didn't eat apples, he took a bite, lowered his head and said calmly, "If you want to open a little, there are some things, that's it, it's the only way." ”

The room was silent, and there was no sound at all.

Rong Ling was expressionless and did not speak.