Daddy turned up the kerosene lamp to the longest, and the light shone brightly around the shack.

"I don't know when I'll be back, maybe I won't be able to come back if I go. If you can die on Shouyang Mountain and be buried with your ancestors, it will be a complete thing. Daddy said calmly.

Hearing this, I couldn't help but shed tears: "Daddy, don't say that, I'm still waiting for you to come back and tell me a story." ”

The old man filled a pot of cigarettes, and just picked up a piece of charcoal to light it, and when he heard me, he put down the charcoal on the tongs and said, "I can't let go of it in my heart, except for the sailors' family, I just can't finish telling you the story." ”

"You can write to me, and it's the same with telling a story in a letter. "I just took a letter writing class during the day, and I solved this problem by learning and applying it now.

"That's a good idea. But after I go up the mountain, I can't guarantee that I will be able to write to you every day, and I will write everything down as much as I can. Daddy re-lit the pot and smoked as he spoke.

"Then you should rest early tonight, and you will have to hurry early tomorrow morning. I said as I stood up and left.

"Xiao Yuan, you sit down first. "Daddy stopped me.

Seeing me sit down, my father said, "Today, the sailor's father wants me to sleep under the mountain, and he comes to the shack, but I don't agree." It's because I want to take advantage of this last night to tell you more. You go and talk to your father, and say that I am leaving tomorrow, and I want you to sleep with me for one night. Tonight, we will talk until late at night. ”

I did.

"After I came back from that trip," Daddy began to tell the story, "I haven't seen Yuhua for several days, and I know that Aunt Zhen doesn't want me to associate with Yuhua, and I know that we won't have any results, but I still don't think about her all the time.

"One day, Yuhua came to me in a hurry.

"She cried and said, 'Buddha, take me away, you can go anywhere, we don't want to be here.' ’

"I hurriedly asked, 'What happened?'

Yuhua didn't answer me, and continued to cry and said: 'I don't want to be a prisoner, I don't want to go down the road arranged for me by my mother, I am not a puppet in her hands, I have my own thoughts, my own joys and sorrows, my own life, I want to make my own decisions. ’

"I comforted: 'Yuhua, don't worry, what's going on, you say slowly. ’

"Yuhua wiped her tears and said, 'Since you came back from the mountains, my mother has let me stay at home and will not allow me to step out of the gate. When I said that I was going to come and see you, and ask you how you were doing in the mountains, she was furious, and said that I should know the traditions of our family, and that I should inherit her mantle in the future, and that I should cut off all thoughts of love between men and women. I said I couldn't do it, she said I had to do it if I couldn't, and locked me in my room. Today, while she was out, I kicked open the door and ran out. Pack up your things and take me away, I've had enough. ’

"Suddenly, Aunt Zhen appeared at the gate and said in a gentle voice: 'Yuhua, don't make trouble, go back with your mother obediently.' ’。

Yuhua shouted, 'I'm not going back!' and the tears flowed down again.

"I knew that letting Yuhua make such a fuss would only bring the relationship between their mother and daughter to the brink of collapse, so I said coldly: 'Go back with your mother. ’

When Yuhua heard this, she turned her head and looked at me pitifully and coldly, her eyes full of despair and pain.

I lowered my head, not daring to continue to look at her.

Then, I heard Yuhua slowly walking out with heavy footsteps.

"When Yuhua's footsteps moved to the gate, Aunt Zhen said, 'This is my mother's good daughter, and my mother will make you your favorite chicken noodles tonight.' After speaking, he followed Yuhua home.

After that day, Yuhua's eyes were like imprinted in my brain, and I couldn't wave them away.

"It was as if I had swallowed countless steel needles in my stomach at once, and my internal organs were pierced with holes and pain, but there was no way to eliminate the pain, because the more I tried to push harder, the deeper I would be pierced.

"I began to have hatred in my heart, hating myself, hating God's will, and hating Aunt Zhen for always being good to me.

"There are not a few widowed women in the village, but the two widowed women live door to door, but only my mother and Aunt Zhen live.

"Strictly speaking, Aunt Zhen is not a widow, because she has never been married and has always lived single, so there is no such thing as widowhood. But she lives alone in the village with a baby, no different from other widows, and the people in the village regard her as a widow.

The two widows sympathize with each other, and they also know the pity of the babies who grew up in single-parent families, so they both treat each other's babies as their own.

"Aunt Zhen knows how to heal, and she will also dance the gods, she often prays for people in the countryside, and she will also look at the disease when she encounters a patient, no one in the county does not know her name, and she is called a living immortal. Even the wealthy officials and businessmen in the city often came to ask her to go to the clinic or preside over the worship of gods and Buddhas, and her actions were naturally different from the people in the village.

"Therefore, Aunt Zhen's family is far better than my mother, who can only farm.

"But Aunt Zhen has never been stingy with me and my mother, and since I can remember, she has never stopped helping our mother and child.

"Food and clothing, as long as there is Yuhua, there will definitely be mine. Thanks to Aunt Zhen, although I lost my father at a very early age, I didn't suffer much when I grew up, at least in terms of food and clothing.

"In the year of famine, she would rather give up her share than let Yuhua and I starve.

"She often said to my mother: 'Sister, it doesn't matter if we are bitter, and we must not let the two babies be shorter in front of others. ’

"What I am most grateful for is that Aunt Zhen sent me and Yuhua to the school since I was a child, and all the expenses were naturally borne by her alone, because my mother couldn't take out the money at all.

"That's why I didn't become one of the many ignorant teenagers in the village who couldn't read a single word.

"Later, Yuhua went to the city to study, and Aunt Zhen intended to send me to study together, and said that she would bear all the expenses, so I didn't have to worry about my mother. My mother agreed, but I didn't go to work in the field so that I could help my mother.

"Because of this, in my mind, I have always felt that I have two mothers, one is my mother and the other is Aunt Zhen.

"For me, it is impossible to disobey Aunt Zhen in this life.

"But that day, I felt that what I did might be wrong, I chose to stifle my affection for Yuhua, and I also chose to hurt Yuhua.

"I live like the walking dead every day, try to control no more thinking about things related to Yuhua, try to numb myself and make myself believe that everything will pass.

But in the middle of the night, Yuhua's helpless and complaining eyes flashed over and over again on the dark beams, making me unable to hide. ”