After Prime Minister Xia left, Yahuan Zhu'er, who was standing in the courtyard at some point, rushed back to the courtyard to report to the young lady, "Miss, the prime minister has left, and before leaving, the master also ordered all the dowries of the prime minister's mansion to be returned." Originally, the prime minister also brought gifts to apologize, but they were all returned by the master. ”

Pang Ruyan leaned against the window, listening to Yahuan's report, her eyebrows moved slightly, but there was no look on her face, looking at a red flower outside the window, and only after a moment did she gently spit out a few words, "Father did the right thing, it should be clear, why bother with it." ”

She only looked out the window, without blinking, as if this matter had nothing to do with her, and Zhu'er couldn't tell whether the young lady was sad and lost or didn't take the matter to heart. After a while, Pang Ruyan came back to her senses and instructed Zhu'er to bring the pile of poetry books on the bookshelf, and also instructed her to bring a brazier.

Although Zhu'er was puzzled, she still did as she was told. The pile of books on the shelves are all read by Pang Ruyan, and they are all her favorites, and she always loves them in her spare time. Pang Ruyan opened one of the books, opened it and read a few pages, the green jade fingers gently stroked the pages, as if she was reluctant, but there was a bit of firmness and determination in her eyes, but after a while, she threw the book into the brazier, Zhu'er was so frightened that she quickly reached out to take it, but was stopped by Pang Ruyan. Seeing that the book was slightly ashen in a moment, Zhu'er felt a little heartache for Miss.

"Miss, why did you burn the books, these are your favorite poetry collections, and you always have to turn them over several times in your spare time. ”

"As you said, since I have read them often, I have already memorized them, and even so, it is better to burn them clean than to keep them for good. ”

Seeing that Fang Cai's book had been burned to ashes, leaving no trace, he picked up another book, flipped through a few pages, touched it with his fingers reluctantly, and then threw it into the fire. Looking at the burning flames, Pang Ruyan felt a trace of inexplicable happiness in her heart.

Zhu'er watched Miss skillfully throw another book into it, and the doubts in her heart became heavier, and she sat aside and asked tentatively, "Miss Miss, are you really going to burn all these books?" Seeing that there was still no expression on her face, Zhu'er continued, "It's better to keep it, you can see it again in the future." If you don't look at it, you can leave it to the little boy. ”

"For me, these are burdens, they don't make sense, so why bother with sadness. How did Zhu'er know that these books were no longer treasures for Pang Ruyan, but hurt her heart. A breeze blew, floating thoughts, and under Pang Ruyan's deep eyes, there was a faint sadness and loss.

My heart is gone, so what do I do with these books? For Pang Ruyan, it was the talent brought by these books that made her the first talented woman in Kyoto praised by everyone in Kyoto, but it was precisely because of her fame that she became a joke in Kyoto because of a strange illness, was ridiculed, and even disliked and retired.

Pang Ruyan stared at the stack of books on the ground, and the flickering love in her eyes disappeared little by little, until finally it turned into pain and despair. Pang Ruyan burned the book in her hand, raised her head to look at Yahuan Zhu'er, and her eyes had returned to clarity when she raised her eyes, "Zhu'er, I miss the hazelnut cake of Jixiangzhai a little, you go buy more and come back, Xun'er also loves to eat very much, and he kept telling me that he wanted to eat it a few days ago." ”

"Okay, miss, Zhu'er will buy it. As soon as she heard that Miss wanted to eat, Zhu'er felt that her mood had recovered, and she hurriedly got up to leave, but she was afraid that Miss would be in a hurry, so she instructed, "Miss, don't worry, Zhu'er will be back soon." ”

The smile on Zhu'er's face warmed her heart, so she stopped what she was doing and stood up, "Don't worry, tell the shopkeeper that you want to make it freshly, it is the freshest and delicious." After saying that, he took a few ingots of silver from the table and handed them to Zhu'er.

One mina of silver is ten taels, and three minas of silver together are thirty taels. Although Zhu'er is Miss's personal maid, the moon silver is only one tael, and the thirty taels of silver are equivalent to her income for three years, Zhu'er couldn't help but be a little surprised, and didn't reach out to take it, "Miss, it's just some hazelnut cakes, where do you want to get so much, Zhu'er still has some broken silver here, it's enough." ”

Pang Ruyan grabbed Zhu'er's hand, gently put the silver in Zhu'er's hand, and held her hand tightly and smiled, her eyes were full of pampering and pity. "It's just spring today, you don't have to rush back, walk around the streets, if you come across any food or clothes you like, buy them for yourself, and you should add a few new clothes. Zhu'er, you've been following me for so many years, and Miss Ben hasn't bought you anything. This should be regarded as a piece of Miss Ben's heart. Keep the rest for yourself. ”

Pang Ruyan's words were full of consideration for Zhu'er, Zhu'er was very happy, and the corners of her mouth wiped a bright smile, "Hehe, Miss is so good." Zhu'er held the heavy silver in her hand, and smiled at Pang Ruyan again, "If you see beautiful clothes, Zhu'er will also buy them for Miss." ”

Pearl's heart was overflowing with happiness at the moment, but she still did not forget her young lady. What a caring maid, not a sister but better than a sister, Pang Ruyan's clear eyes instantly had a trace of sadness, but she tried to hide it, not wanting Zhu'er to see it, so she hurriedly smiled and pushed Zhu'er out of the door, "Go quickly, after buying hazelnut cakes, you can go shopping more, dress yourself up beautifully, otherwise you are not allowed to come back to see me." ”

"Okay, Zhu'er will go. While laughing, Zhu'er was already standing outside the door, carefully putting away the silver, and was about to go out.

And just as she stepped out and raised her feet and was about to leave, Pang Ruyan looked at the bright figure and couldn't help but call, "Zhu'er." ”

"Well, miss, what's wrong?" Zhu'er turned around, thinking that her young lady had something else to say, but she saw that there was a trace of emotion in her eyes that she couldn't understand. In a moment, Fang Cai's smile was restored.

Pang Ruyan waved her hand, "It's okay, be careful on the road alone." ”

"Miss, don't worry, Zhu'er will go and come back soon. Pearls glanced at the young lady again, and then walked away with cheerful steps.

When her figure disappeared from sight, Pang Ruyan muttered in the direction she was leaving, "Zhu'er, goodbye." In a moment, the words were blown away by the wind.

Goodbye, but never again!

And where did Zhu'er, who left happily with her steps, know that the look back just now was the last scene with Miss.

In an instant, looking back at the sky.

Pang Ruyan stared at the door for a moment, then turned back to the house, burned all the books, extinguished the brazier, and took another picture with the bronze mirror on the dresser.

In the mirror, she was wearing a delicate cyan dress, with the jade butterfly Yunbu Shake on her head that day when she went to the Xiangfu Flower Appreciation Banquet, and the pair of white jade earrings hanging on her ears. The person in the mirror, although he has gained a lot of weight and has a rounder face, is still quite exquisite.

But for Pang Ruyan, this is not what she wants to be after all, and she really can't go back to the past.

Pang Ruyan closed her eyes and held her breath, sighed with a foolish smile, then picked up a piano and slowly walked to the back garden.

"Miss", Pang Ruyan walked over, the maids and maids around her saluted one after another, Pang Ruyan glanced at it lightly, and said lightly with red lips, "You all go outside and wait, stay away, I want to play the piano alone, don't let people disturb me." ”

"Yes. "The eldest lady has always liked to play the piano in the back garden, and she always has to stay in the yard for a long time, this time as soon as Pang Ruyan ordered, the maids and servants did not approach the back garden, and stayed farther away, so as not to disturb the interest of the eldest lady.

After Pang Ruyan entered the back garden, she was not interested in admiring the flowers that were blooming beautifully, but went straight to the pavilion and sat down, put the piano on the stone table, then glanced at the lotus pond, and then began to stroke the qin. With the stroking of the green jade fingers, the beautiful melody slowly flowed by, and people were fascinated by it, but the sound of the piano was not as melodious and free as she played before, but with a bit of sadness and heartache, slowly drifting in the air with the sound of the wind.

It is said that the sound of the piano is like a human voice, perhaps after a series of blows, Pang Ruyan's mood at the moment is also like the sound of the piano, overflowing with sadness. On the wall outside the back garden, a handsome man stared thoughtfully at the figure in the gazebo. The wall of Shangshu Mansion is relatively high, the so-called standing high can see far away, from here, you can also glimpse Pang Ruyan's courtyard, and her actions can also be faintly seen by the young man.

It is said that Wang Shaoqing, an uninhibited son who often boasts of being "a young man who is not romantic", originally just wanted to come and see the excitement, but he didn't want to see people's sad and lost looks, but he lost his original fun. And Jin Le, the entourage lying on the wall with him, couldn't help but launch a silent little "protest". "Childe, isn't it good for us to peep on the wall of someone else's house like this?

"What nonsense, what is this voyeurism, this son is just here to visit. Don't look at what Wang Shaoqing said on his face, but there was a trace of ridicule in his heart, and when he said this, there was still a subtle evil smile on the corner of his mouth.

Hearing this, Jin Le couldn't help but pout, "Visit, wouldn't it be good to go in directly from the main entrance, why don't you have to lie on the wall." You have to take care of your face, you are also dignified..." Jin Le didn't say the other words, and he always felt that it was even more embarrassing to say his identity to let people know. "Childe, why don't we just go in. ”

As soon as Jin Le said this, he was directly knocked by his son-in-law's big fan, although it didn't hurt, he still quickly put out one hand to cover his head, for fear of being beaten again.

"You stupid, you won't be found when you enter through the gate, what will this son say when the time comes. This son was just curious, and I heard that Xia Lang, the son of Xiafu, had set a family affair that caused a sensation in Kyoto, but he gave it back. Ben Gongzi just wanted to see what had become of this young lady, and he made Xia Lang anxious to come to the door to withdraw his relatives. ”

Coincidentally, the son went out to play and got acquainted with the son of the Prime Minister's brother Xia Lang, the two hit it off at first sight, became friends, before hearing Xia Lang say that he was married, and now he asked again and said that he had withdrawn from the family, this must be a retreat, but let the son have a great interest, plus there are rumors in Kyoto, saying that it is the daughter of Shangshu Mansion Pang Ruyan from a graceful fair woman in less than half a month, suffering from a strange disease, becoming unbelievable, so he has to pull himself to lie on the wall of others to find out.

Jin Le has been abiding by the rules of the house since he was a child, where is he as chic and uninhibited as his own son-in-law. However, although it is a very disgraceful thing to lie on the wall, he has always been Childe's personal entourage, and he still firmly follows Childe's side every step of the way.

And Wang Shaoqing looked at the wall for a long time, and also came to a conclusion. "It seems that the rumors are true, this Miss Pang is really suffering from a strange disease. However, everyone's beautiful temperament is still there, and the talent is indeed outstanding. ”

Although Pang Ruyan does not look like before, from her every move, you can still see everyone's gentle and elegant and demure temperament everywhere. However, Wang Shaoqing is not uncommon, such women can be seen everywhere in Kyoto, except for their outstanding talents, there is nothing special about them. Even if she gets married, at most she is a husband and a child, in charge of the affairs of the house, and a dignified lady, with no temper and character. Wang Shaoqing has always been very playful, and the sound of the piano in his ears is still fluttering, but he has lost interest, "It's boring, let's go." ”

Wang Shaoqing put away the folding fan and turned around to go down, but was pulled by Jinle beside him, "Son, look, what is Miss Pang doing?"

Wang Shaoqing followed his gaze to look at the courtyard, thinking that it was something interesting, but he saw that the sound of the piano had stopped, Pang Ruyan slowly got up, put the piano away, and slowly took out a letter that had been prepared from his sleeve, and pressed the corner of the letterhead under the piano,

"Is this leaving?" In his own house, he still prepared a letterhead, this is not a farewell before leaving, what else can it be?

"Not good," Wang Shaoqing suddenly had a bad premonition, if she really wanted to leave the house, she would at least pack up and prepare her baggage, but she was alone, wearing a delicate dress, where was half a point like she was going to leave for a distant place.

Sure enough, in the pavilion, Pang Ruyan walked slowly to the edge of the pavilion, stood still in the wind for a moment, and said softly, "Since everything starts here, let's end here." ”

Wang Shaoqing was lying on the wall, a certain distance away, and she couldn't hear what she was saying, but she saw her then jump, and with a bang, she had already jumped into the lotus pond.

This lotus pond is about six feet long, and Pang Ruyan is bent on dying, and she did not struggle after falling into the water, and her figure was instantly submerged by the water. In the lotus pond, Pang Ruyan's consciousness gradually became chaotic, and all the memories flashed in front of her one by one.

It is said that before people die, all the joys and sorrows will flash, it seems to be true, Pang Ruyan sees joys and sorrows, and more is everything that happened after her illness, which is the epitome of her life. How beautiful it used to be, how hurtful it is now.

So be it, just end it like this, get away from everything, end this life, so that there will be no more pain and no more sorrow. Sharon, I wish to never know you again in the next life, and in the next life, I don't want to go through this again, I don't want fame and talent, I just want to be born in an ordinary family, and meet someone I really love to live a safe life.

The figure in the water slowly closed its eyes, its arms hung limply, its head tilted to one side, and its breathing gradually stopped.

Goodbye, father, Yun'er, Xun'er, goodbye, Shuyue, Zhu'er, we'll see you in the next life!