Shen Fengming was stunned. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

"I'm not seeing her now, it's too late. He was a little dumbfounded.

"It's not too late. Jun Li said softly, "It's never too late." He said and looked up at Shen Fengming, "I know that you have always cared about her, according to your own reasoning, you must like her, so you have been bothering about her like that." Right?"

Shen Fengming didn't want to be asked by him—although Jun Li probably didn't mean to suppress his words with this. He was stunned for a moment, and then snorted coldly, "Yes, so what? I'm not like you, and I won't admit anything." It's a pity that I'm still a villain in her eyes -- just because you're there! You look like a gentleman all the time, but she likes people like you!"

Jun Li was silent, as if he had nothing to say.

"You still haven't changed your mind?" Shen Fengming looked at him, "You have been in the Vermilion Bird Mansion, under one roof, and you have been together for so long, and you are still as determined as you were at the beginning, and you refuse to do anything for her?"

"I ...... I really didn't think about it. Jun Li said in a low voice.

Shen Fengming smiled bitterly and mockedly, "It seems that Mrs. Xiang is really light in your heart, so light that you don't care at all!"

"Not true. Jun Li looked up, "On the contrary, okra is heavy in my heart—sometimes it is—too heavy. ”

"What do you mean by that?"

Jun Li seemed to sigh. "If you are going to force me to make it clear - well, I can say this: As a friend, she carries more weight in my heart than anyone else. She is the first friend I have made since walking alone in this world and I will never erase her from my heart. But I have to admit that I sometimes fear such a weight and feel ...... Facing her,...... It's really a bit tiring. ”

He paused, saw that Shen Fengming was still looking at him, gritted his teeth and said, "I don't know if it's because I feel that I owe a lot to her, but that was later." Before I understood the meaning of her branch, I had a vague feeling that it was...... That's because I know a little bit about her person. Probably her temper is similar to mine, I know very well that I can't really get along with such a person, because if you want to have a real heart-to-heart, it must be-for-tat, but I feel that with such a special friend, if you are false, you will also live up to this friendship, so I don't know what to do, so that I don't know what to do...... So much so that they became more and more afraid, and some were speechless. Maybe such a person should not be used to get along day and night, if it is a friend who is thousands of miles away, the friendship may be more difficult to wear, and if you want to face it like that, then when those true natures are exposed, they will start to harm each other.

“...... You ask me why I refuse to give her back - you must know very well, I have always been such a person - such a heavy and depressed person who is trapped in his own fate, and he himself has sunk so much that he can almost not walk, how do you want me to press another such heavy her into this fate, so that I can't breathe even more?"

"You mean, do you think that Mrs. Xiang is more burdensome than happy for you?" Shen Fengming seemed to have digested these words for a long time, and what he said seemed to be cruel to him.

“...... I don't want to say that. Jun Li's expression was a little astringent. "Because of me...... There's nothing I can't do for her except that I really can't be her earthly destiny. Naturally, from your point of view, you can think that I am making excuses, or even talking nonsense. I've never really thought about these things before, and I don't feel anything about joy and joy, but I'm ...... It's just that I've been in a lot of turmoil recently, probably because I was hurt by Xie Fengde, and I got into some demons, and I inadvertently thought about a lot of things that I had never thought about - not just about okra. You once said that I like to carry some heavy things and have to live a miserable life, but I am not a savior or a hero of the world -- how can an ordinary person not be greedy for ease and not chase happiness in his heart? Who in this world is really willing to carry such a heavy burden and not live happily? I ...... I also hated myself for such incurable cowardice, but I still did not dare to let go of anything because of such a fate, not at all! In this case, in the midst of this definite dare, it is always enough for me to covet the occasional lightness and avoid some unwanted bondage--is it enough to say so?"

He said a little pale, as if he knew that he shouldn't say such a thing-but today under Shen Fengming's healing, his inner demons suddenly seemed to drift away, and he seemed to have become at a loss again, and the various selfs that had accumulated in the time when his heart was opened were mentioned again and again, and he wanted to forget but couldn't forget, and he wanted to hide but didn't want to hide it, if he didn't say it to others, he felt that he couldn't turn back into himself.

Shen Fengming had never seen such a him, and he never thought that he would say such a thing. But he also knew that if Jun Li didn't believe in him, he would never confide in himself like this—revealing the truths that were enough to tear apart his gentle and gentleman-like appearance in the past. Of course, at first he had some desire to refute him, but in the end, he was only stunned for a moment before reaching out and patting him on the knee.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Mrs. Xiang. He smiled, like a comfort.

"I- I'm not targeting okra, I'm just ...... Just say it myself. Jun Li slowed down. "Anyway, I don't want to...... I don't want to make her feel bad like that. After all, I'm not good, but I really don't know what else to do. ”

"But Taoist, you...... You haven't thought about it, maybe you are looking for someone to share those so-called burdens with you, but not necessarily to put another burden on your heart?"

"I just know that I can't bear to hand over my fate to anyone to bear with - let alone the Mrs. Xiang who is already a little afraid of me when I am friends. Jun Li smiled, trying to make his tone lighter.

"After all, you still don't like her as a person. Shen Fengming muttered. "Okay, won't I be able to ask you about Mrs. Xiang in the future?" he said and laughed, "It's just—then now I can think that if I do something to Mrs. Xiang, I won't be sorry for my friend?"

"You—" Jun Li looked at him nervously. "Don't mess around with her, or I'll still have to meddle. ”

"Tut, forget it, I haven't let go of the original thing, and I can't force it yet, it's too troublesome to get her. Shen Fengming shook his head. "Well, she's just good for my eyes, as for the next one...... I'm afraid that I'm just like you, and I feel a little headache. ”

"You've become duplicitous, too. Jun Li smiled, "Actually--I don't think she hated you so much, but she didn't admit it." I don't believe what you did for her at that time, she wouldn't have noticed anything. ”

Shen Fengming coughed. "With eyes above the top like hers, I really didn't expect anything to make her take it seriously. ”

After a moment of silence, the topic seemed to fall a little. Jun Li sighed lightly in his heart through such silence. He told a lot of truth, more than he had ever said, and yet he still knew that there was still something he hadn't said. But what does it matter? Anyway, whether he said it or not, he had once again made his position clear - not so much to tell Shen Fengming, but to tell himself.

-- He had seriously reminded himself that you would have to bear it all alone, without being accompanied. You've used so many words to explain why you can't bring okra with you to your own life, and you won't bring anyone else with you either—even though you don't say a word about "others" in your heartfelt words.

He owes okra for that branch for which he has no return, but does he not owe it to another man as well, for the irreversible "Don't call me uncle"—though the cause of the debt is different, it may have been the same weight. It's just that these two people of the same weight are different existences in his heart. He didn't dare to think about when he had secretly changed his concept, and turned the lightness and heaviness into their temperament, so that one was more and more heavy and he didn't dare to bear it, and the other was light enough to make him smile. Even though he never wanted to compare anyone, he couldn't deceive that feeling, and he knew that what he really wanted was the kind of lightness that he could never achieve alone.

But so much - never to be reached, forever to look at it like this. He said it, and he didn't dare. I don't dare to carry the heavy one, and I won't dare to burden the light one. The deep heart that has been accidentally missed after all the confusion techniques should be buried back in this way as the mind recovers. He should have understood more firmly than he had before that that he wanted to be alone.

There was a faint unintentional voice outside, and I guess I was still quite dissatisfied with something, and I was angry with the thorns. Jun Li came back to his senses and frowned. "By the way, what's wrong with you and the unintentional party?"

"Unintentionally?" Shen Fengming also looked a little helpless when he heard the name. "As far as I can guess, he was probably instigated. "There was a pause. "By Lou Qianshan. ”

"Do you know what happened to him and Lou Qianshan?" Jun Li was a little surprised, "Seeing that he seems to trust Lou Qianshan completely, I was thinking about it...... How to say it to him. ”

"So you know. Shen Fengming smiled, "But don't worry, don't speak ill of Lou Qianshan to him for the time being." ”

"Why?"

"Anyway, he can't listen to him like that. If you tell him now, he must be more and more convinced that I am here to talk to you about something, and you want you to lobby him, then he will not hate me even more?"

Although Jun Li felt reasonable, he was also a little hesitant. "You can't keep him in the dark. ”

"What's the matter? He's a man, and he won't suffer. ”

Jun Li had no choice but to say, "Okay, I'll find a suitable opportunity to tell him later." It's just -- you just avoid him for a while. I think he'll find out the truth eventually. ”

"I—" Shen Fengming sighed. "Avoid him...... yes, there are really enough people I have to avoid now, and he's nothing. Thinking that Suzaku Ruodu is bent on putting my life on it, I don't know that Lin'an, I can't go back. ”