After a moment of silence, okra pushed Xia Yan down, "Don't you go to see him?"

Xia Yan had this intention, got up and walked to the back door. Okra followed.

A line of leaking light illuminated Shen Fengming's figure. He sat alone on the edge of the well at the back of the house, with his back to the room, until he realized that the two had followed, and though he moved, he kept his head down and remained motionless.

"Feng Ming?" Xia Yan called him.

"I'll be fine, I'll be back in a moment. Shen Fengming only said.

Before he knew it, a white shadow had already arrived in front of him, and okra came down and kept a pair of eyes level with him.

His eyes should have remained dry—as if he had forgotten how to shed tears. But at this moment—the moment he saw her eyes, not even a word, as if—eighteen years had vanished, and he seemed to have changed back to the child he had been, and all the grief that should have erupted back then seemed to be pouring out—he was so fragile that he deserved the little mercy in her eyes.

He raised his hand to cover his eyes, and tears still came out of his fingers. Okra didn't know what to say. She couldn't remember the last time she cried, what words he had said to comfort her. But she couldn't stop him, only to accompany him with the falling and rising in her eyes, as if she could also feel the pain of his heart that day.

Xia Yan also approached. He suddenly remembered that when he escorted Xia Zheng and his wife south, the couple had also been trapped in a fire cave once. Shen Fengming took his injured self away that day, probably because he didn't want to let himself have the slightest chance of witnessing such a scene. I don't know if Shen Fengming has ever been a little bit of a bitter memory of this past that has always been buried deep in his heart?

Why Cheng Fangyu, of course he understands now. There are many hatreds and hatreds in the world—not necessarily unimportant, not necessarily unimportant, but there are things that hurt more than life and death. Shen Fengming was calm when he talked about many past events, but there was only this one, just a few words, and it was difficult to breathe. Even when he was alone, he would not dare to tear this scar open to see, right?

"Feng Ming, if I say a few words, you don't have to respond to me. He sat down beside him, "I know it may not be appropriate to say it now, but you have always understood my mind, and you should not misinterpret me." ”

After a pause, he said: "In fact, according to Taoism, the soul of a person dies and leaves the body, and although your mother's body is burned by fire, it is just that there is no basis for the soul to return, but it will never be scattered because of this. The fire - just think that God wants you and wants her, and you have to be more decisive. If her body was still there, you would have tried to find a way to go back to the town to collect the burial, and maybe something else would have happened, and for the soul, if the body was still there, you would inevitably have more worries, and it might not be a good thing to stay in the world for a long time. I'm not saying that I want to excuse Cheng Fang's more and more desecration of his body, but from now on, I want to go—your mother may have had a new home early, and where she was reborn, and what you can't see—is just a mundane past. ”

Shen Fengming's hands were still covered in his eyes, and he did not speak.

"Listen to you, your mother must be a strong-hearted person, and her soul will always have her own opinions, and she will not be left behind, and you really don't have to worry too much about her. Eighteen years - I don't think she's been here anymore. If you can't rest assured, I'll ask for one of her old things—like the wooden hairpin—as a support, and for her excess, she can always go safely. ”

Shen Fengming didn't answer, after a while, he slowly put down his hand, wiped the water vapor on his face with the back of his hand, and saw that there was still some light in the eyes of the okra in front of him, so he said: "I'm crying mine, why are you crying?" seemed to be a little relieved, and his tone was a little like usual, or even grabbed his sleeve, and he wanted to wipe his tears with her.

Okra hurriedly hid, wiped away her tears, and stood up, "I see you sad......"

"I said it earlier, I'll be fine in a while, you must come out and see. What's there to see?"

Okra was a little sneering, "...... Jun Li is talking to you, do you hear it? ”

"Didn't he say that he didn't have to answer him?" Shen Fengming glanced at Xia Yan, and the water in his eyes had subsided, replaced by some banter from the past.

Xia Yan put his hand on his shoulder and sighed intentionally, "I said you don't have to answer me—you really shouldn't?"

"Otherwise, if Mrs. Xiang said this, I wouldn't be serious, but you, a man, will you also play the trick of 'wanting to get away with it'?"

Xia Yan laughed, but the embarrassed was okra on the side, wanting to scream but not knowing how to do it.

Shen Fengming's expression was gloomy again, obviously, at this time, he had not recovered his strength to laugh wantonly. He only looked at okra and said, "You can sit down for a while." I drank too much wine, and then went back with the wind blowing. ”

Okra didn't sit down, arguing, "I didn't drink much." ”

Shen Fengming stretched out his hand to support the edge of the well, and raised his face slightly, as if he wanted to taste the cold wind of late autumn to the fullest. But there was not a trace of wind, and he could only look at the dark night, those distant but vague stars.

"That day...... It was very windy. Memories are still pouring out of the past like pockets that can't be easily tightened, "I can't save that fire." I can't even get any closer. I just remembered the 'Cheng Zuo Envoy', that's all, but I don't know what to do after remembering him. When they had all left the fire, I went around to the front door and saw him still lying in front of the door, and the smoke of the fire had blackened him. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, or I subconsciously felt that I couldn't save my mother, at least I could take him away, so I dragged his body. In the past eighteen years, I have touched many corpses, but there has not been a single one like him, half cold, half hot, stiff, heavy, and hopeless. I couldn't pull him, I could only grab him by the collar and drag him for more than ten feet, and suddenly the burden he was carrying was pulled off by me, and I fell to the ground......"

He paused, as if unable to find the words to describe how he felt. Life never seems to be a long continuous period of time, but just a few moments, like fireworks, cracked in the dark sky of time.

"After all—I couldn't take it with me. I didn't take either of them. He could only laugh at all, "I don't dare to look at the death to the bone, and I can't think about my mother being burned in the fire like this." If I hadn't promised to live well, I probably wouldn't have survived that day. ”

"Feng Ming," Xia Yan's hand was still on his shoulder, "I understand that sometimes it is a hundred times more difficult to live than to die. Your mother must have been a wonderful woman, and what she taught you back then must have been more than Yunmeng's recitation. In this way, she has confidence that you can still be like this Shen Fengming to this day - not those who give up on themselves and are willing to degenerate, and they have never been cynical and have lost their hearts. ”

"That's it. Shen Fengming smiled bitterly, "If you want to comfort me, you still drink with me, don't talk about those useless ones, I won't eat that." ”

Xia Yan had to smile and say, "Okay, I'll get it." ”

He was about to get up, and Okra said, "I'll go." Without waiting for the two to respond, he went back to the house first. Xia Yan didn't force it, he was still sitting on the edge of the well, and suddenly remembered something, "You said that at that time, there was a burden on his body, which means that he was about to leave?"

"Probably. I don't know if I have another mission to go out. ”

Xia Yan saw that his expression was a little uncertain, and thought for a while: "Could your mother actually - in fact, not refuse him, tidy up her things, and come to go with you that day?"

Shen Fengming shook his head, "I've read that letter, and it's just a polite refusal." Otherwise, I wouldn't have had to be sad at the time. ”

"Do you remember what was written in the letter?

"I can't remember the details clearly, roughly speaking, she has had predecessors after all, and she still has the children of her predecessors, and he has to take care of our mother and son for a long time, and she can't repay her, and she doesn't dare to mistake him again - so I asked for a resignation, and only gave an old hairpin as a souvenir. ”

"You said that the hairpin was passed down from Yunmeng for several generations, and the meaning is unusual - your mother has refused to leave for many years, but she is willing to give it to the bone, I always feel that ......" Xia Yan wanted to speak and stopped, as if he felt that the wording was not very appropriate.

There was a sudden darkness behind him - when okra came out, he closed the door with his hand, and the whole patio suddenly lost its light.

"Do you think so?" Okra had already walked over, "If you want to show your gratitude, this hairpin is not a valuable thing, and Yunmeng's origin is only meaningful to herself, and it is of no use to give it to the bones, unless the bones are very different to her." ”

"It's different. He is gracious to us, after all. ”

"What if I tell you that there is more than that?" Okra put the wine on the ground as he approached, stretched out his hand to unfold an object, and in the darkness, a faint glow hazy the eyes of the three of them.

It was the "magic book" that was put on the table. The paper was empty, and the faint light was already faint at this time.

Shen Fengming's face changed slightly, and he reached out to take a closer look. Okra's hand remained in mid-air, "You are real...... I haven't been aware of this?"

It was only at this time that she was finally able to confirm that the score was not left here by Shen Fengming for her birthday—of course, he did not hand over the Mu Hai and Zhu Er to her for her birthday. There are many coincidences in the world, and sometimes they are just self-inflicted.

"I've never been ......" Shen Fengming said three words, and he didn't bother to say it. He was making out the long-lost handwriting. On that day, under the eaves of the long-awaited bone, he took the letter out of the wooden hairpin by the evening sun to peek at it. But maybe it was still too early, and he didn't notice that under the dying words, there was still this hidden fluorescence.

- For eighteen years, he had never had the courage to pick up that memory, so he almost never once revisited these old things.