PS: Patch from the previous chapter...... I was by Gu Tingxian......

It's easy to feel guilty, but it's not easy to feel responsible.

The concession of attitude, the release of the fist, the softness of the temperament, some apologies, some forgiveness, some relief, perhaps as the character matures, it will become simpler and simpler,

But at the beginning of growing up, how much courage does it take to make these things from scratch, and how many pains do you go through.

When he was nineteen years old, standing in front of the roulette wheel of fate, Lin Qian once asked, is growing up all the festering that people must go through? The three views were subverted, and he couldn't bear the pain.

Now, it's your turn to ask, how many times do you want to touch my scales?

It's all about struggle.

The difference is that Lin Qian has long been calm and light, and the strings are still in dire straits.

From prison to camp, Yu Tingxian just changed the place where he was imprisoned, unkempt and unkempt, continued to be sluggish and muddy, and from time to time he washed his face with tears, most of the time he was sluggish, indifferent, and listless.

is much better than Hong Hanshu, after all, he is still a person, and he can communicate with the outside world, such as the sentence Gu Tingxian is dead. What is not normal is that it is decadent and fragile.

His body has improved because of the careful care of Master and Siyu, "there is still hope that he can lift the knife", but heart disease still needs heart medicine, and now he is so depressed, it is obvious that he is hinting in his heart and giving up on himself.

Gu listens to the strings, you know it,

Admitting mistakes is not the same as bowing your head, bending your knees, and being cowardly

Self-abandonment is bowing one's head, bending one's knees, and being cowardly.

It is also related to dignity and pride, you are willing to even give up on yourself now, why are you unwilling to admit your mistake at that time

Just like some people, it is also related to guts, they dare not live anymore, but they are not even afraid of death......

I don't want people to touch the reverse scales. Shave it all by yourself.

Yes, it doesn't matter how bad you are.

It's naïve to think that you can not be touched in this way.

If you don't get touched, you can touch it.

Then he rolled on the ground in pain.

does not admit defeat, but admits cowardice, in fact, it is all resignation.

Can't wake up completely. I couldn't sleep because I still had a hint of consciousness and couldn't think I was really dead.

In the whole thought, except for the dead people, there is only Master, and the living and dead are Ling Chi himself.

Countless scenes in the chaos, in prison on the same day, were staged repeatedly, constantly beating, "I'd rather have no reason in the world to protect my own selfishness!"

Ha ha. Well, I'd like to hear that a master who doesn't know himself makes such a wrong evaluation of himself. So I'd rather say to him bluntly, let's go, lord. So I'd rather show him that to me is like what you say, but it's because you say that I've become like this! So let him see the consequences of Gu Tingxian's suicide in fear of sin, let him kill Gu Tingxian without knowing it, and then regret it for the rest of his life!

I don't know what year or month. Suddenly, a cold stream of blood slashed violently through his heart, and he felt a pain. After realizing it, I finally regained some normality......

How ridiculous, at this time, it seems to be a little epiphany, is it too late, and it is not timely

Gu Tingxian, you actually understand now, Master's intention. I want you to take responsibility, and I want to help you learn to take responsibility

It's just that it happens to be a way to improve your temperament, which is simply to apologize and admit your mistakes, shake hands and make peace, which is the only thing he can't help you do, but can only push you to do it

You don't want to. Because you are arrogant and exhausted, you want to deliberately go against him, so you don't want to, you completely want to diverge him, and then you are willful and angry, all kinds of things go in the opposite direction

He was also furious, he was so angry that he was not as good as Shen Zhao. Don't blame him, he used your guilt to guarantee how much you absorbed, but not only did he not see that he might not even have guilt if he absorbed it, don't blame him for being confused

Shi Niang persuaded him to forgive you this time, but he was afraid that you would follow in your brother's footsteps and his temperament would become more and more sharp, and he said that he would never forgive, although he didn't want to hurt you more than anyone else

He insisted that after you recovered physically and mentally, restore the scene and do it all over again - admit your mistakes, improve your sense of responsibility, and bear what you should bear

Physical and mental recovery is to be able to stand up independently, be willing to come out to meet people, have joy and anger on your face, and no longer have no love

In fact, he is giving you another chance

And his so-called confession of mistake can just admit that you yourself also approve, and it doesn't even have to be that you say I'm wrong, and the requirements are minimized.

Last time, he actually had such a low request, but he didn't tell you clearly, this time he promised Shi Niang to eat a trench and grow wise, and he would pay attention to his own appearance and say it directly with a pleasant face-

But, would you be willing.

Maybe again, the normal you who stand up again will no longer be hoarse and angry with the master, but you will not apologize and make peace as he wishes. At most, you may choose to remain silent and not speak, and then be relatively silent with Shen Zhao and Master......

In fact, the master calmed down and thought about this scene, and he also expected this to happen, so he lowered the requirements so low, but even if it was low, it would still be like this...... Why is this happening?

Why? Because the scene can't be restored, because although you are normal when you regenerate once, all the words you said when you are abnormal have already come out, because the established facts can no longer be changed, and you are more sorry for the Master than at that time, you misunderstood him and hurt him, and you didn't have the face to say the words that changed your words!

Changing your words means not only admitting your mistakes, but also vetoing yourself last time who did not admit your mistakes, and the last time you said so firmly, you could have vetoed it, so in the same way, most of the countless incidents in which you used to be proud to say no are not true? When your words become a joke, and your pride will not excuse you from saying that you were not sober last time, then how can you change your words, and you can't even admit your mistakes?!—— how can you change your words?

is also because, you are no longer the Gu Tingxian of the day, after the incident, you lost face and had nothing to love, and you were depressed and unbearable when you recovered from a serious illness...... You look at him looking forward to you so much, what qualifications do you have to make him look forward to you so much?

At that time, you must be silent, but you will have a thousand words in your throat, no qualifications, no face. I can't say it! All the voices can't come out, and all of them are blocked in your heart and lungs.

Maybe you were too proud in the past to admit your mistakes, but now you, at that time, you must have been too inferior to admit your mistakes. Pride and low self-esteem. There's a thin line between both.

Master understands you too well, and he knows that if you don't talk about it and leave it alone after helping you up this time, then you will go from pride to the extreme of inferiority and never turn over, and your ability to admit your mistakes will become weaker and weaker until there is no scum left. At the same time, you may also make it a habit to avoid responsibility, whether it is bad or mediocre. Your whole life is ruined like this.

So not only will he not let this matter go undone, but he will pick it up and continue. When admitting mistakes is not only about the sense of responsibility for the future, but also about the defects of the character of a person, wrong, you must admit it this time, love you is to harm you, long pain is better than short pain.

You know Master like never before, and you know that Master won't give up on you, so you can only help you up. He'll definitely ask you to admit your mistake again. Even if he knows that next time it will be harder for you to admit your mistake than last time. But as long as you admit your mistakes, you will no longer be afraid to admit or reject them. You know how to recognize it. He's going to save you from the ground up, so that you can learn what most people do.

But you will definitely be silent at that time, no matter how low he lowers his demands, no matter how pleasant he is, no matter how much he racks his brains to guide, you may be cold to the end. You're a strange man. Heaven and earth are not afraid, only afraid of admitting mistakes,

Master, a person of his kind, knows the difficulties and advances. He expects you to be silent, but he'd rather see you silent and then try to pry your mouth open. Don't stop doing this because you're afraid of being silent, because of the possibility that you will be silent, let him understand that as long as you don't do it, you will become more and more silent and fall into the abyss.

However, you, you are no longer the high-spirited Gu Tingxian you used to be, you are so unbearable and so ordinary, you can only retreat.

Although I also know that you owe too many people, you have sinned deeply, and you should not be held responsible, but how do you repay your debts, how to atone for your sins, and how to make up for them, even if you admit your mistakes, it will not help, because you don't even know when you will be able to lift the knife again. It can't be managed, but it can't be cleaned up. The number of people who want to pay for their lives is not known, so they can only close their eyes and stop counting.

Why don't you want to satisfy Master, because he has such expectations for you, but you have no heart and no courage. You think it's too difficult for you to take this step now, you can't do it, you really don't dare to think about how you have to admit your mistakes

So you have a hint of self-abandonment in your heart -

Only by maintaining the status quo and falling into decadence can we avoid admitting our mistakes again after normalcy, and not watching Master lose hope again!

Then you might as well give up on yourself.

I didn't dare to face my mistake, I didn't want to see my master disappointed, I didn't want to be born in that scene, so I simply didn't help him up.

At the beginning of his release from prison, he was only angry with his master, and he really wanted to commit suicide and wait for death because he didn't understand it, but now, he gave up because he was afraid that his master would be disappointed and deliberately avoided it.

So he did not stand up when he was full of enough to stand up, and maintained a dying heart in a healthy body

Death is more terrible than living, and some people would rather face it because it is easy to die but difficult to live.

Gu Tingxian, why is it more difficult to admit mistakes than death

Whether it is pride or inferiority, it is fundamentally a reason

Or the things you look at more than life, your scales

It can't be scraped endlessly, because it is embedded in the soul

Yes, you still care

Saying that he doesn't care is actually caring about being miserable.

But these days, because of low self-esteem, you are deliberately ugly, you step on more face in order to give up on yourself, and then, you can only be more inferior

The vicious cycle is stuck in the mud, and the more you don't stand up, the more you don't want to stand up, because your legs are really weak.

Of course you don't know, Master and Master have been discussing all night, meditating, and helping you solve most of your difficulties.

Master is worried that it may be difficult to get results from directly asking you to admit your mistakes when you are recovering from a serious illness.

Let you do practical things first, and admit your mistakes while correcting them, so that you can have some achievements in the face of the Master, and you will not be so depressed and inferior, so that you can happily and lightly admit your mistakes when the time comes, and help you overcome the obstacles in your heart;

Let you shake hands with Shen Zhao and make peace - the sense of responsibility required by the master is not only to shoulder the immediate responsibility, but the most important thing is to face up to the sense of responsibility in the long run, and face up to all comrades-in-arms. The first thing that will test you is that you face Shen Zhao squarely...... At the beginning, after Shi Niang mentioned it, you really no longer distinguish between Shifjord and Yuzhong Longshan so clearly, you tried to treat Shen Zhao as your own, but when it comes to the recognition of Shifjord, you still adhere to the principle of only recognizing half, so you don't give in to Shen Zhao. In fact, you are not afraid of responsibility, you are afraid of admitting mistakes, because people live for a breath. Shen Zhao or something, you don't have much hostility towards him at all.

My sister understands you more. It's easier to know that you want to do it than to ask you to say it. She knows that you are just afraid to admit your mistakes, not to correct them. She believes that you are willing to make peace with Shen Zhao in your heart, and you have faced all your comrades-in-arms. She said to the Master, when you have faith, you can listen to any persuasion, of course, this confidence is not something that can be obtained by the Master's verbal comfort and support.

Master praised her for her construction. Say I'll help you to your feet first.

But after falling into a vicious circle, you seem to refuse to even stand up.

Have you ever thought about it, if you don't stand up, you will still disappoint him?

Is it that when you are down, you will not be so sad when you look at him disappointed.

But it's still hurting him. This is the first step for him to save you, and it is not too late to admit your mistake in the second step

And you are grieved in your heart, because you are pretending to be depraved.

How ironic, when the strength is gone, the confidence is gone, the inferiority is extreme, and the self-esteem of the killing person is still there.

You used to say to yourself that you would stand for glory, dignity, and principles. So proudly refusing to grow up,

But. You should admit half of your mistakes but you don't admit them in the slightest, but in fact, it can't be completely attributed to principles.

Is it willfulness that has subconsciously arranged double standards for you, you have allowed false dignity to encroach on principles, and you have not even admitted your fault, isn't it just a harbinger of stubbornness? Master felt that you were desperate last time, and you were duplicitous, so he gave you the next chance, the next chance. Whether you give up when you face it, or give up now, you want to perpetuate and deepen this stubbornness......

Oh, you don't deserve to grow up.

Another snowy night, the blood outside the tent was boiling.

And he was stuck in a dream,

The family general who was dismembered by Hong Hanshu was separated from the bloody eye, but it forced him to watch it. The picture of death is still showing in front of you with an infinite slowdown.

"Don't come here!" "Young master!" Bloody splattered and never came, cutting and cutting for a long time

So he didn't wake up......

Later, I don't know how many lives have passed, that dream seems to have been born in Yuzhong again, all the soldiers and horses of the Gu family army fell into a desperate situation, the generals, those generals, fought bloody battles with him, he shouted, "You go first!" They shook their heads and refused to leave, "swear to follow the general!" Suddenly, there was no logic, and he shouted sadly in the heroic battle: "I am not worthy of you to follow!"

He woke up with a thud. Awakened by this absurdity.

Thoughts are made by day, dreams are dreamed by night, and glory and repentance are interspersed with messiness.

Knowing that he was wrong and admitting his mistakes would be gratifying progress, he knew that shaking hands and saying peace would be happy, but he didn't want to admit it, and he couldn't shake it. Where does he really want to evade this responsibility?

Rejection to learn a sense of responsibility, just because the guilt is too heavy!

In an instant, he had the courage to face it, and he subconsciously touched his right hand, but he still didn't feel it.

Atonement, he doesn't even have a chance to atone for his sins, this is the biggest punishment for him to leave his post without permission in this battle, okay!

His eyes suddenly dimmed again, and the courage that he had gathered in that moment was fleeting. He didn't even remember, in the recent days, this kind of behavior that he once took for granted and now inexplicably summoned up courage was more than once?

Behind him, the master, who was reading the book of war, was suffering from conscience, pain, contradictions, sorrows, negativity, tossing and turning, and could not sleep again.

Hearing these movements, Lin Qian unconsciously turned his head.

These days, Lin Qian has also been reflecting on himself.

Because Gu Tingxian is his apprentice, he always forgets jì, and he is also hard to dismantle him, saying that he is used to it and ruthless to the end, which is too undeserved.

Listening to the collapse of the strings at that time and the sluggishness now, in the final analysis, his own confusion is a leading factor.

If it is said that he did not admit his mistakes because of his principles at that time, he may no longer admit it because of pure self-esteem. It was really Lin Qian who forced his temperament to a dead end.

When guilt erodes glory, Listen to the strings is now a complete denial of herself. Too inferior, pride is shattered, heroes become sinners, and the knife is not yet able to lift.

is different from Lin Qian, who grew up from a constant question, he grew up from rejection to unworthy of growing up.

Yin'er is right, he is so fragile now, don't think about lowering your requirements to pry open his mouth, how much you lower your requirements is still asking for confession. It's just a cure, not a cure.

It's right to be used to hurting him, but directly asking him to admit his mistake may not be helping him.

So of course, adopt Yin'er's Jianyì, arrange things for him to do first, and then ask him to admit his mistakes, and help him build confidence first.

The most urgent thing is to get him to stand up and stop giving up on himself - this step is only the physical and mental standing, and when he confesses his mistakes and atones for his sins later, that is the second step of soul standing. After the incident, Lin Qian was afraid that he would not be able to bear the blow and collapse, which almost all referred to the second step, and the extra first step, Lin Qian has been taking care of and helping with care.

However, "I really didn't expect that it would be harder for him to even stand up now than he imagined." After Yin'er was released from prison, she saw Gu Tingxian and sighed to Lin Qian. Lin Qian used to be quite optimistic about Gu Tingxian standing up, as long as Gu Tingxian still has a conscience, he will definitely stand up.

But now it seems that Gu Tingxian's heart disease has affected his body, as if he could stand up but deliberately did not stand up, as if he had empty rational thoughts and no mental mood.

"Tingxian's self-esteem is damaged, his guilt is heavy, and he can't lift the knife affects his admitting mistakes, and his can't lift the knife also directly affects him to stand up. ”

How did Lin Qian allow to see that Gu Tingxian had spent a price, but had not been able to grow?

"But don't worry, Yin'er, let him stand up, you can use our man's method. Lin Qian said to Yin'er while holding the calf. (To be continued!)

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