Miss Wu

How are you?

I know you won't see it, but I hope you will. There is no flesh in these words, no love words, and some are just my farewell words.

I can't remember the specific time of our acquaintance, but I remember that around September 2016, you and I met in the game, that year my father died, and I didn't have a job, and I felt like I was immersed in the trough of life, like falling into the darkness and not being able to find a way out. I still remember your appearance, like a ray of light, pulling me out of the darkness, especially when disaster befell my mother again, and you were with me.

I remember saying many times, I said that I have no money, no house, no car, and even no job, you should find a better one, and you say every time you don't mind, don't dislike it, just be with me, I'm really touched.

We got to know each other from 17 years later, when you came to my house, and it was then that I knew that you cheated on me, I don't know if you can still remember that night, I said I was tired and had to go to bed early, in fact, I didn't sleep all night that night, I didn't know how to face you, the age gap, I really can't accept it, and I don't know how to do it.

The next day you left, my heart was empty, I thought too much about the results, and when you returned to Shanghai, all kinds of suicides also made my heart soften, and then you and I contacted like that, and slowly accepted you.

17 years is the fastest developing year for you and me, the relationship is heating up, of course, I made a lot of money at that time, you said you want to buy a big house for me, I have been looking forward to it, I want to have a home with you. As for 18 years, the only progress is that your parents and my mother agreed to our relationship, and I further saw our future, the second half of 18 years, was the beginning of all our nightmares, and then I knew that you owed so many credit cards, you know, at that time I had a lot of thoughts, thinking about whether to leave you, and left, and in the end I didn't, I went home with you in person, and told your parents to face it with you, I don't care, and I'm not afraid to delay the rest of my life, because I think it's enough to have you!

Because your family sold the house and finally paid off the foreign debt, I was also relieved, and when I thought you were going to come back and live with me for the rest of my life, the difficulties came again, and in the final analysis, it was still a matter of money. You know my temper, I always like to find your parents when I quarrel with you at that time, because I always think that they will treat me as their own child, I was wrong, I was always an outsider, and then your family said that I love money, especially after seeing the poverty of my hometown, I don't want you to be involved with me anymore.

I knew I was wrong, and if I hadn't done that at the time, it would have been a result. I've apologized to your parents three or four times for this, and as you know, they didn't pay any attention to me. In between, I kept asking you, did they agree with us, you said no, and later I found out that you were lying, you were just struggling to maintain the relationship between the two sides, many times, I seemed to go to Shanghai, knelt in front of your parents, and begged them to let us both go, but I didn't have the courage, too cowardly!

19 years is a year of failure for us, I haven't seen any of them this year, except for the secret phone calls every night, I can't find anything warm to each other, I'm tired, and I've even asked you countless times, how long can I come back, how long can I be together, this year is also the year that I said the most breakups.

You and I have been so fettered for a year, the relationship has changed too much, I no longer understand you, you are not in harmony, the time of the two cold wars is getting longer and longer, I am tired, you are tired. I didn't make any money this year, I didn't find a job, I still owed a loan, and I was so stressed, I'm sorry, I took all my fire out on you.

On January 16th, 2019, twelve o'clock in the night became our last flashpoint, the quarrel was exchanged for silence, I hung up the phone as usual, after saying cruel words, I thought that you would be as usual, turn back to me, and then reconcile, just like this day after day, until I can no longer contact you, I know that we are really over.

You're really tired, I understand, I even feel a little sorry for you, I've paid too much for me in the past three years, and in the end I'm not the person you're waiting for, I'm sorry to disappoint you, I'm sorry!

Recently, I've been thinking about whether to leave me, you will live a better life, no one will restrain you anymore, you can wear the clothes you want to wear, do what you want to do, no longer need to cater to me, no longer have to cry aggrieved.

I talked so much about it, obviously saying goodbye, but talking nonsense for so long, I didn't write while crying, and when I listened to the song that night, I had already cried well. I thought that my heart had already been hardened all these years, but I would still cry, haha...... It's still as emotional ...... you say.

I'm leaving, Miss Wu, go to a place where no one knows me, start over, the only regret is that we even have a photo together, and your photos have been recovered, put them in the album and look at them occasionally. By the way, I don't write novels anymore, and without your support for me, I don't have any motivation to write down, unless one day an identical you come out, and then I will pick up the pen again and write a book about you and me. Don't scold me, I admit that I'm just running away from you, escaping the past, escaping this relationship, I used to quarrel and forget you for a month, how can it be so fast, I guess I won't forget it for the rest of my life, I can't forget it......

If, that day, you see this letter, don't look for me, don't look back, go forward, your happiness is no longer mine, you don't belong to me, my birdcage is not your destination, you belong to the sky.

You're free!

Fly, Miss Wu!

Laugh, Miss Wu!

Be happy, Miss Wu!

Forget me, Miss Wu!

I love you, Miss Wu!

Sincerely

Salute.

Someone who owes you

January 23, 2020