Normal people, it is absolutely impossible. Even characters like Qian Zhongshu, Shen Congwen, Chen Yinge, and Tolstoy, who are ten lines at a glance and never forget, or prodigies who are born with brains beyond ordinary people, can't have such an amazing memory, right?

It seems that my memory has really improved. This astonishing discovery finally made me forget the bloody scenes of the day for a while, and I found some books from under my bed that I had bought from the bookstall or borrowed from the school library, but I had not read them all, and read them one by one.

"100 Essays on Contemporary Literature", "Fifteen Lectures on Chinese Studies", "History of Chinese Educated Youth", "The Century of Fracture", "Faust", "Zhou Yi Shen Tong Qi", "After Virtue", "Nicomachean Ethics", "Philosophical Exploration of the Nature of Human Freedom and the Objects Related to It", and "Habermas's Theory of Communicative Behavior......

One book after another, either obscure or lengthy and repetitive, or ordained and meandering, I actually memorized them all under my reading...... Basically, I didn't forget a word.

It wasn't until the rooster reported that I was white in the east that I lay down on the bed and fell into a deep sleep because my brain was groggy and tired and I couldn't help fighting. Even I don't remember how I fell asleep. However, I did sleep very hard, very dead.

"Brother, get up. "There was a knock on the door of Ah Xue, and I woke up in a daze, and when I woke up, I found myself covered in sweat, and there were pirated books on the floor at the head of the bed.

I wiped a cold sweat, and the picture of Zhang Yue's tragic death yesterday resurfaced in my mind, and then, those books and words from last night also jumped out of my mind one after another, and none of them were forgotten.

"Oh, I'm a little tired, let me sleep a little longer. I shouted, and looked at the time of half past nine, although it was time to get up, but reading so many books last night had exhausted my energy, and I needed to replenish it to slow down.

Just as I was responding to Ah Xue's shout, I suddenly heard a sharp knock at the main door of the hall outside, followed by a rough male voice coming from outside the door.

"Is anyone there?!"

When I heard the knock on the door, my heart sank instantly, and a breath of cold air slid down my throat.

I know, who else could it be that the person who came to my house at this time could it be other than the JC police officer?

When I heard the knock on the door, I fell asleep, and immediately pulled the long sleeves of my trousers over the bedside and put them on casually, then unscrewed the door of the room and rushed to the hall.

However, I was a step too late...... Ah Xue has opened the door to her home.

Pushing open the door, I clubbed against the door frame, my fists clenched slightly, my mental power gradually concentrated in the center of my eyeholes, and I had to be ready to use the soul hook at any time.

"Is this Wang Yuyan's house, this is her courier. ”

What stunned me was that the person who came in through the door was neither JC as I imagined, nor Zhang Guohua or other thugs who came to take revenge, but a plainly dressed courier.

It's just that the courier's words confuse me incomparably.

Smoke courier?

Why...... At this time, Yanyan will be sent by courier? I don't have a computer at home, and Yanyan can't go online to buy anything. What the hell is going on?

"My sister's courier?ah, wait a minute, I'll see, yes, it's my sister's name...... I'm sorry, but my sister isn't here now...... I'll collect it for her. ”

"There is no need to sign on behalf of her, this courier letter was originally sent by her, but there is a problem with this letter, the address, contact person and phone number on it do not exist, and we can't find it, so we returned it. The courier said in a hoarse voice.

"Questions?"

"Yes, this courier is a prank at all, let her stop doing this kind of prank next time, it's not easy for us to send couriers. With that, the courier left the courier letter and turned to leave.

And Ah Xue stood at the door with the courier, staring blankly at the letter in her hand.

"Ah Xue, is it a courier?" I asked, putting on my slippers and walking to the hall, but my heart was full of doubts.

"yes, the name on it seems to be my sister's. But...... It's weird. Ah Xue frowned, took the express document in her hand and looked at it repeatedly.

"Show me. ”

"Hmm. ”

I stretched out my hand to ask for the express mail in Ah Xue's hand, this is a very thin and thin express mail, I took a look and found that the sender was smoky, and the address I originally wanted to send was actually Jiangxi Street, Beijing, and the recipient's name was actually Meiyouren.

Jiangxi Street? Isn't this the street of Wuxi City? Is there such a street in Beijing?

I'm not familiar with Beijing, so I don't know if there are Jiangxi streets in Beijing, but looking at the recipient's name, my heart sank.

Meiyouren...... It's a homonym for no one.

In other words, there is no recipient at all, and Yanyan's letter was not intended to be sent to anyone in the first place.

I looked at the contact number again, and the phone number on it was actually 134567890, and it was made up at first glance.

To put it this way...... I'm afraid this courier letter is just a cover.

But why would Yanyan do such a mischievous thing? This is not like her style!

After a little thought, I thought of a possibility. I'm afraid that Yanyan can't tell me anything in person, so she sent this courier letter before the accident, and took advantage of the time difference of the courier to send this letter to me.

From Jiangsu to Beijing, the express delivery took about two to three days, and now Yanyan was killed. It's been almost four days.

Looking at the delicate and spiritual words on the paper, I seemed to see that lovely sister smiling at me.

A deep sadness filled my heart.

I lowered my head and slowly looked at the handwriting on the letterhead, and looking at the handwriting on it, I seemed to hear the familiar voice of smoke whispering in my ear:

Elder brother.

This letter is written to myself by me, and if there is no accident, it will be returned to me, and then, I will secretly tear it up, crumple it up, and throw it in a paper basket for you to never see.

But if I am unlucky, this letter will surely fall into your hands.

Brother, let me call you brother again. Although I know that I may never be able to call you the way I used to again.

I know that if my brother knows what I did, he will definitely be angry with me, because I am not worthy, and even want to scold me and beat me.

Brother, do you remember when you were a child, Xiaoxue and I both said that we want to be your bride together. Now that I think about it, it's really warm.

I really want to sit next to you like I used to, coquettish you, and play with you. But as we all grow up, the burden on our family is getting heavier and heavier. We...... It can't be like that anymore.

Brother, there is no money at home.

I'm sorry, brother, I've been hiding this from you for half a year.

A few years ago, every June and December, that person would send us money. But in the first half of this year, I went to the bank to check the balance, and the person didn't send us the money.

At that time, I was really scared. Although that man abandoned our mother and abandoned us, his money is also our only hope. Without his money, we wouldn't be able to live in this city!

I haven't told you about it, brother, I've been hiding it. Because I keep my bank card at home, I keep lying to you that there is still money in the bank card......

Actually, even I don't know how long we can live with the little money left at home.

Brother, you are a boy, the pillar of the family, you are much smarter than me, you have good academic performance, and you are very gentle, I know, the hope of the family is in you. Xiaoxue wants to study, and her mother still has that kind of disease, brother, I know you are under a lot of pressure. Every time I watch you walk out of the house in the sun and rain, and come home sweating profusely, tired and panting, but laughing and saying it's okay, it really hurts my heart. I want to help you share some of the pressure, but I can't help it, I'm a girl, you are smart and capable, and you are young without a brother, what can you do?

I don't know how long I'll be able to hide it from you. I borrowed money from my classmates and teachers, but they were limited in what they could do to help me. Until that day, the guy who had been chasing me for a long time found me and said to me that if I could have a relationship with him, he could lend me money.

I hate him very much, but his family is very rich, if he can help me, brother, you don't have to work so hard, and the family can last for a while. So I said yes to him. I became his girlfriend, and I did whatever he said.

Brother, I'm really sorry. I've been hiding it from you.

Yesterday, he came to me again and told me to slander a few people and ask me to take some medicine.

I don't know what I'm going to do that, but I know it's scary, it's dangerous. I didn't want to do that, but the guy gave me a lot of money. Brother, there is no money left at home. So, I agreed to him.

I wrote this letter before going to meet that person.

If I come back safely, this letter is for myself, and I will forget about that day, and then hide it from you.

But if something happens to me and I won't see you again, brother, after knowing about this, I hope you will be angry with me, and don't think about revenge on them, their backgrounds are terrible, brother, we are small people, just live our own lives, don't go against those big forces, otherwise you will suffer.

Brother, I did it voluntarily, for you and for this family, I don't regret it.

Brother, your sister Yanyan is gone, and she can no longer be your bride.

She let you down.

But she still loves you.

She hasn't forgotten what she said on your knee when she was a child.

Brother, if there is an afterlife, I will be your sister.

No, if I could, next time, I would be your bride.

Brother, goodbye.

In the next life, I will hold your hand.

......

......

P.S. You must take good care of Xiaoxue, and take care of her together with me.

I don't know how I felt after reading the letter that Yanyan left me. But when I read the last word of the letter, I really couldn't believe that I was able to hold the letter with my trembling cold hands and not let it fall off my hands.

Something wet was swirling in my eyes, and my heart was also heartbreaking.

Pain.

It hurts.

My heart really hurts.

I gently rolled up the cigarette paper, took a deep breath, raised my head, looked at the gray haze stretching for thousands of miles in the distant sky, could no longer restrain my emotions, and cried bitterly!

than at any time in my life...... and cry for a longer time.

The scene from my childhood, this moment, slowly flowed through my heart.

When I was young, every time I ate, Yanyan would leave the best dishes for me and Ah Xue, as well as my mother, to eat the unpalatable leftovers and drink the leftover soup.

Yanyan rarely buys clothes, every time she goes to the store to buy clothes, she will shake her head and refuse, save the money to buy clothes for Ah Xue, or buy me books, and then pretend to be unhappy and say to me that she is not interested in clothes, only I know that every time she passes by the clothing store, looking at the girls who enter and exit the store one by one, her eyes will show longing and envy.

When Yanyan was in elementary school, I was in junior high school. Once, it was raining, and I waited at the school gate for a long, long time, thinking that I would not be able to go home. Just when I was desperate, I saw the petite Yanyan, holding a small white umbrella, wearing a black and white school uniform wet by the rain, slowly coming out of the smoke and rain, looking at me innocently and smiling and saying, "Brother, I'll pick you up......."

Occasionally, when I was sick, Yanyan sat beside me, like a sister, holding a cup of steaming cold powder in her arms, and said to me with a frown and worry:

"Brother, drink the medicine quickly, you must get better as soon as possible. ”

Yanyan is really a very sensible and well-behaved girl.

However, that delicate and simple girl.

The girl who said she was going to be with me forever.

From now on.

I can't hear her anymore.

maybe

Can only be ...... in dreams

With a hint of coldness on my face, I gradually stopped crying, and slowly raised my head, only to realize that I don't know when, the sky has begun to snow.

White snowflakes fell, like white elves falling from the sky, occupying the entire haze sky.

Like withered spring flowers, like drifting autumn leaves, white snow flakes are gradually falling, and this cold winter finally has a trace of warmth.

A...... Another piece.

The snow drifted in the strong wind, flying away with the west wind.

I suddenly remembered that one winter, Yanyan and I were standing on this balcony, looking at this hazy sky like this.

Yanyan once inadvertently turned his head and asked me:

"Brother, what are you thinking, your eyes don't blink?"

At that time, I looked at the endless dim sky, then turned my head and touched Yanyan's head, and said with a smile:

"I just want to tear open this gloomy canopy of heaven and let those eyes who are accustomed to darkness get used to light. ”

At that time, Yanyan didn't understand my words, just looked at me quietly, thoughtfully, and there was a glint in those dark and bright eyes.

Thinking of the past, I raised my head to the sky again and yelled, like a mad beast.

Suddenly, a cold feeling surged through my whole body, my whole body trembled violently, and my eyes stinged even more, as if ice thorns had pierced my eyes.

"Brother!"

Suddenly there was a cry from behind me, I was startled, and slowly turned my head, but I saw Ah Xue's miserable little face.

"Ah Xue......?" Seeing Ah Xue standing behind me, my chaotic brain calmed down a little.

"Brother, your eyes ...... How...... Bleeding?" Xue looked at me in horror and pointed to my face.

"Bleeding?" I was slightly stunned by Ah Xue's finger, subconsciously stretched out my hand, touched my eyes, and then spread out my palm, I found that my palm was actually a shocking blood red!

It's tears.

Or blood?

Or ...... Tears?

[This chapter is a long chapter, updated this week with about 10w words]