It was another dream, I was standing on the top of a tower I don't know what it was, the moon was so big that it was like a huge poster plastered all over the night sky, and I didn't feel a trace of coldness, but it was clear that the ground was covered with snow, and the cold wind that should have been biting was blowing on my face, and I didn't feel it at all. Suddenly, a guy in a cloak appeared in front of me, it seemed to fall from the sky, without a sound, it looked very strange, just like a sunny day doll, its round head was also put in the cloak, and the facial features could not be seen. It slowly approached me, and I felt its malice, but I couldn't retreat, my body didn't listen, but I should have been afraid, I should have run away, but I just didn't do anything, as if I had become numb.

Suddenly, a huge black hole opened up in the mouth of its head, as if it had opened its bloody mouth and was about to swallow me in one gulp. It opened its mouth and approached my forehead, and I felt my forehead tingle as if something had been pulled out.

At this moment, I saw the dazzling golden light again, flashing in my head, and the "sunny day doll" seemed to be very scared, and let out a strange scream.

When I opened my eyes again, I woke up.

All this was just a dream, but it was clear, and besides, this dream followed me for a long, long time.

"Doctor, are you listening?"

After Bai Maxiao finished telling this dream, this expression was serene like a doctor who had been euthanized, looking at him, his eyes were in a trance, "Yes, of course I'm listening." In your case, you typically watch too many movies during the day, resulting in still watching them in your dreams, and even fantasizing that you are a character in the movie. ”

"How come? I've never seen this type of film?" It's 2019, why is there such a.

The doctor said firmly, "That's right, students like you who are close to the college entrance examination do feel a little anxious and nervous at this time, and there is a chance that you will have nightmares, but I have never seen an anxious patient like you who can dispel the horror of the dream by yourself in your dreams, and the only explanation is that you are not anxious at all, on the contrary, you often watch movies and play games." ”

Bai Maxiao was very weak by his words, his grades that are not up or down, whether he is dead or dead, can only be mixed with a junior college, and there is absolutely no drama in the undergraduate, so he is not nervous at all, and often plays games on the Internet outside, but he has never played this type of game - he can't remember which boss looks like a sunny doll dyed with ink.

If I don't have anxiety, why do I often have such dreams?

Since he was in junior high school, he has had this kind of dream intermittently, sometimes only once a year, sometimes once every six months, and high school has become more frequent, especially in recent months, once or twice a week.

It's like watching a movie that has been watched several times, and you have to watch it over and over again after you can recite the plot behind it, even if you dream about it, you feel bored.

People who feel bored when they sleep and dream, it is estimated that there is no second one except Bai Mashio.

had a good half-day off, but was dragged here by my cousin to see a doctor.

Out of the clinic, his cousin Bai Majun leaned in front of a brand-new police car, crossed his arms, and looked at him with a smile on his face.

In Bai Maxiao's impression, his cousin is a perfect man, good-looking, promising, and very gentle, with a smiling face always hanging on his face, as if he was sticking to 502.

"How's that? What did the doctor say?"

"He said I'm not sick, just watch less zombie movies in the future. ”

He just wanted to finish it all quickly and have to go back to school in the afternoon.

Approaching the college entrance examination, the major high schools are so nervous that they can't do it, the weekend of the double holiday has become a single holiday, and the high school of Bai Maxiao has simply become a half-day holiday, and there is only one Sunday morning to rest, but I still have to write a test paper, which I need to use in the afternoon for the review.

This point Bai Maxiao is consistent, he can't write the test papers, just copy the answers when the teacher comments, he thinks it's futile for people like him, and he can't get into the undergraduate exam even if he works hard, so why bother.

Back at school, he chatted with a group of classmates who thought the same way as him, and he felt that since he couldn't be the king in school, he could dominate the server.

On the eve of the short class, Hakuba Xiao was chatting with them while keeping an eye on the door.

At this time, she should come.

Here she comes.

A washed snow-white school uniform, with her hair spread out like seaweed, carrying a thick schoolbag and holding three or five books, walked in, glanced at him, as if she saw it, as if she didn't, sat back in her seat, took out a sketchbook, and began to finish her painting class homework.

Hakuba Xiao pondered for a moment, but it was over.

Her hair was scattered around her two tiny ears and hung down on the table, her fingertips holding a sketch pen running rapidly on the paper, like a shuttle, weaving an elegant silk painting.

There is an indescribable charm in this picture, and this kind of charm, she did not have.

The first time he met her was the first day he moved to his uncle's house, when he was nine years old, and when he looked at a shy and shy girl in front of the neighbor's house, the first thing he said was, "Don't you have parents too?"

However, the girl's father didn't care about him, as Bai Maxiao's aunt said, "This kid has a bad brain, don't you mind." ”

In the eyes of his aunt, he is an abnormal child, to be precise, a careless and unenterprising fellow, and he will kill relatives, such as his parents, and his uncle who couldn't even see the body a few years ago.

Gradually, the neighbors did not want to see him, and even involuntarily retreated, more frightened than the fox smelly street director.

No one wanted to send their children to his high school, and of course, they didn't have to go to Hakumashio's high school to warn his classmates and teachers that he was a broom star. First, it's none of his business, it's okay to kill his classmates and teachers, and secondly, it's not necessary to deliberately chew the root of his tongue, so his interpersonal relationship at school is still good.

Except for her father, who was willing to put her here, because her father didn't want her to live in this world. Because she was the child of her father's fiancée in the country, and his wife in the city had always disliked her, she had always been a drag bottle.

They are all children who are not loved.

Qianqian, who has been with him for six years, should be a shy girl, always wearing the most ordinary ponytail, walking with her head down, and a girl who doesn't dare to look at people's eyes when she speaks, but in the past three years of high school, she has become like this, cheerful and lively, and he feels that this girl has finally transitioned to the direction of a woman.

At some point, she began to have her own male friends, and he was no longer the only one.

The man was two years older than them, a student at Phoenix University, and his name was very awkward, as if his name was Nie Jianfeng. Not only that, but she also has a lot of contacts with people at Phoenix University, and even heard her say that she will apply for this university.

The University of Phoenix, a school with a very beating score over the years, no one knows what its admission requirements will be this year, which has become a research topic for boring experts.

But for a well-known undergraduate university, the admission conditions are naturally very harsh, and you may have to look at other grades in addition to the score line, Bai Maxiao never considers whether she can go to this university.

But the college entrance examination is approaching, and the distance between him and Qianqian has also begun to drift apart.

When did this girl, who only knew what was glued behind him all day, leave him?

Nie Jianfeng.

He started to hate the guy a little.

"See what?"

His thoughts were pulled back, and Bai Maxiao coughed twice in embarrassment.

"Look at you drawing ducks. ”

"It's a swan. ”

"What's the matter? it's all the same when it's cooked. ”

Qianqian glared at him, "You...... Get lost. ”

Get lost.

She had never said that to him before.

There was someone who could change her, and that person was not him.

Suddenly, Qianqian said, "There is still one month left before the college entrance examination, are you ready?"

"I'm ready, I'm going to go to a university in another country. Bai Maxiao's tone trembled a little, because he knew that in a month, he would spend three years in a junior college in another place, find a job that was not too long-faced, and live the rest of his life quietly, and she would be admitted to Phoenix University in Fuhai City, the future urban park, and then find a job with a monthly salary of more than 10,000 yuan, and vigorously devote herself to the cause of building the motherland.

Qianqian lowered her head, the brown sketch pen spinning on her fingertips, and she stopped talking.

Bai Ma Xiao has been used to having fun for half of his life, and he has never been sad because of others, but now he has a feeling that he can't laugh.

In life, there are too many things that can be missed, but there are very few things that can be left without regrets.

Finally, after much thought, Bai Maxiao said, "After school, are you free?"

Spring in Newport is gradually fading away, summer is coming, and soon it will be summer vacation, the season of breakup.

Bai Maxiao walked on the way home, looking a little lost.

An hour earlier, he had arrived at the place where he had met Qianqian, there was a dike, eight years ago, when he was ten years old, he had discovered a gap in the guardrail there, and on the same day, he had taken her to see the scene where the water came out of the dike, like a waterfall.

"Life is like a shuttle, like this turbulent river, difficult ups and downs, just like this embankment, through it, your life will be more spectacular. ”

This is a sentence he wrote in his composition when he was fifteen.

Whenever one of them is sad and sad, the other brings that one here to see the waterfall. In the noisy sound of the water, yelling at the embankment, or even loudly scolding the person you want to scold with the dirtiest swear words, although no one will hear it, it is very effective for opening your heart.

After she changed, they never came here again.

In the last month, he wants to be the last and bring her once. Unexpectedly, she came, but the man next to her was not him.

It's him, Nie Jianfeng.

Bai Maxiao could see that she was so happy and excited that she had even forgotten what she was here for.

He suddenly felt very depressed and left silently.

Along the way, he thought a lot.

When he was in elementary school, the introverted Qianqian was often bullied by senior students, he was alone against five people, he was not afraid of anything, but the bullying children were afraid that they would be scolded by their mothers when they came home late for dinner, and finally apologized.

When he was in junior high school, he fell in love with the school girl in the next class, and begged Qianqian to send a love letter to her for him, but as a result, she was severely humiliated by the school flower, and he rushed out and slapped the school girl. "She's got your turn to bully?!"

When I was in high school......

"This is my friend, Nie Jianfeng!" At that time, she was so natural, it was like having a good friend, and she wanted to quickly introduce it to anyone she knew to know that she had such a good friend.

Bai Maxiao will never forget the indifferent smile on Nie Jianfeng's face that day, just like the phoenix on the armband of his school uniform, arrogant, empty-eyed, and even looking down on a mortal bird like him—or, a weak chicken that can't fly at all.

"Who am she? Why should I be sad? I should be happy that she was admitted to a good school!"

He kept asking himself over and over again, and he couldn't find an answer that would satisfy him.

Wandering home. The smell of vegetables wafting from the kitchen wafted outside the door, and I could smell it from afar.

Auntie made steak.

That's right, today is the day to collect money.

Every month at this time of the month, my aunt receives a cheque with a rather generous figure, supposedly a pension from her uncle's unit. He only knew that his uncle was a member of a foreign expedition, and he was killed in an expedition, and his bones were gone, and then he began to send money every month, and before that he never knew that his uncle was so valuable, which was completely different from his father, who was a fellow of his uncle's mother, his father was just a mercenary businessman, and it was said that there was a car accident when he bought the goods, and his mother followed him for the first time, and as a result, he flew away.

My aunt relied on that money to buy this storefront house, opened a small supermarket, and lived a fairly wealthy life.

But he is in a wealthy family, but he is not a wealthy child.

"Don't stand there! I'll be waiting for you for a long time! You go and put the chicken thighs in the steamer, they should be marinated. "On the table was my cousin's favorite salt-and-pepper chicken thigh, and the seasoning and chicken thighs were neatly stacked.

"You go and watch the stove and be careful not to put too much sugar!" In the pot is my aunt's specialty - sweet and sour tenderloin, which my cousin doesn't like too sweet.

"Your brother is coming back! You help him get the watermelon out first. "As summer approached, my aunt bought watermelons, and watermelons that were not in season were precious. My cousin has a bad stomach and can't eat too cold, so he always has to take it out of the refrigerator and let it sit for a while.

The child in this family seems to be the only one in the family. And this so-called child has already graduated from college and has been a patrol officer for a year.

There was a sound of the door opening, and the aunt rushed to the door excitedly.

Hakumashi didn't poke his head out, he knew he was going to see the joy and excitement of a mother going to meet her son—expressions he would never enjoy.

The sound outside the door lasted for a few minutes, and Shirashino's head was covered by a large hand, a warm, friendly big hand.

"Young man, I came back early today. ”

Fortunately, he also has a gentle and perfect cousin.

"It's still early, you don't know where he's going, just a few minutes before you come back, I made these dishes alone!" Facing Bai Majun, even if he complained, his aunt's tone was full of joy.

Hakuma Jun hugged his mother and smiled like a child, "Got it, Mom, you've worked hard!" and kissed her on the cheek with high-end makeup.

Bai Maxiao turned his back, and his heart was indescribably sour......

Two women, the two closest women in his life, were better to another man than him, and such a feeling of being abandoned by the world was really uncomfortable.

The meal was hearty, but he was depressed.

He was like a servant in this home who was in debt to work and pay off his debts. Just like the ancient romance novels, and the Yahuan Qianqian childhood sweetheart in the courtyard of the opposite door, the two have no guesses, but recently the Yahuan was favored by a big family and took it to be a concubine, and he is still the same, and even the future is bleak.

"Brother Xiao, there is still a month to take the college entrance examination, how are you preparing?" Bai Majun gave him a chicken leg and asked with concern.

The aunt immediately showed a disgusted gaze, "He, he made do with the college entrance examination, I don't expect him to be able to subsidize the family, it would be good to marry his own daughter-in-law and start a family, and support his own family, how can you have a future?"

Bai Maxiao didn't speak, he knew that what his aunt said was the truth, and no one could change the truth except him—but he didn't want to change anything at all.

"It's a pity, you are a man, if you can charm men like your mother, find a big family to marry, and you can have no worries about food and clothing. ”

Shiraba shino stiffened instantly.

Bai Majun patted his mother and signaled her to stop, and then she lowered her head to eat and didn't speak again.

The meal suddenly ate quickly. Hakuma swept the rice in the bowl and hurriedly left the table.

Back in his room, which was smaller than the bathroom, he opened his laptop on a table made of a piano board and two steel pipes.

This notebook was eliminated by his cousin, although it was eliminated, his cousin complained that the speed was too slow and the quality was not good within a week of getting his hands and transferred it to him. In fact, he understands that his cousin specially bought it for him, because his cousin never plays games, and this is a game book. Sure enough, after that, my cousin bought a new notebook with a much worse configuration than his.

In this family, fortunately, there is a cousin who loves him, so that he will not become an "abandoned baby" who is not loved by his grandmother and uncle.

When she opened QQ, Qianqian's avatar was gray, but she left him a message, "Why didn't you come?

He frowned and clicked on the little "Ignore All" option in the bottom right corner.

He didn't want to think about anything else, he wanted to relax, he wanted to be free. Every teenager has a dream, and his dream is to become a guardian who can protect the people around him.

He thought about joining the army, but he was reluctant.

What are you reluctant to do?

He himself didn't know.

Maybe there is someone who has always been in his heart, but he has hidden it, and only when he suddenly sees it, he will be surprised: Is it mine? Why don't I remember that there is a woman here?

Is this the so-called anxiety of the doctor? But he obviously has no expectations for the college entrance examination, and there is no expectation for Youdao, so there is no pressure.

So where does his anxiety come from?

He told the psychiatrist about his doubts.

"Add my QQ number, contact me if you need to, of course, it's free. "The doctor was very thoughtful.

Five minutes later, the doctor replied: "You may have met someone who is causing you anxiety right now, and that person may be your competitor or the upper echelon who is putting pressure on you." You may be able to try to take it easy and divert your attention. You can raise small animals or something, or, go on a trip. ”

He never liked to see life disappear from his hands, he didn't care for small animals or anything like that, and he once raised a few goldfish, and he never thought about raising anything since.

Travel, that's right, go on a trip.

He clicked on the search page, looking for a place to travel, and suddenly, a sentence attracted him:

"Good luck touches the palm of the Buddha, increases blessings and longevity. ”

Wuxi, Lingshan Giant Buddha.

That night, in his dream, he was standing on the top of an unknown tower, and the moon was terrifyingly big, like a huge poster plastered all over the night sky......