Mortals' thoughts are always very strange, they haven't seen things, things they don't understand, there will always be their own way to understand, the whole process has produced a lot of stories, the so-called stories, not necessarily true, not necessarily fake, when Mu Mu has nothing to do, I like to watch such stories, listen to such stories, although it is very simple, but can always reveal different wisdom, Lu Mu once suspected that mortals would not understand such a truth, so they fell into the contradiction, can you say what you don't understand, Lu Mu has never had an answer, this is the case, it has always been like this。

My name is Xu Yu, and I used to be a small monk in this temple, and like all other monks, my daily life is to do my duty in the temple, although it is a little boring, but it is also reassuring.

I am also different from them, this is what Master told me, he said that he did not understand where I came from and did not know where I was going. I've always been very confused about this sentence, and it also means that it takes a lot of effort if I want to understand it, because the first half of my life has no memory at all, and the second half of my life is completely unguessable.

I have asked Master many times, and he always looks at me very kindly, and asks me in a very slow voice, "Are you very attached to the past?" and I subconsciously thought for a moment and shook my head. "Do you care about the future?"

Whenever he asks like this, I can't help but raise my head and look at the master very seriously, the master loves me, I can see it from his eyes, not only that, but I can also see a different thing, my brain is blank and spinning rapidly, in fact, I don't know whether my brain is spinning or not, to be precise, I don't understand whether the spinning blank is the same as the blank. Master sat cross-legged on the futon, his eyes slightly closed, and his hands slowly brushed the Buddha beads, just like the Buddha in the main hall, and more like this moment.

When Master opened his eyes slightly, my heart would beat suddenly, and my breathing seemed to stop, so I hurriedly lowered my head and shook it gently, Master touched my head, and in an instant, there was a warm current from the top of my head and then slowly flowed to the whole body, it was a very comfortable feeling, I have had many times in my dreams, and every time I would smell a faint fragrance, like a dog's tail grass behind the Buddha hall.

Master was always silent for a long time, and his hand was always on my head, and I thought more than once that Master must be hinting at me, but not once did I not remember what it was, and would slowly fall asleep, continuing the vague warmth that had never disappeared in my dreams.

When I wake up again, I will definitely lie on the futon next to Master, full of energy, and all my previous doubts and confusions will be cleared from my heart.

My master is a very kind old monk, he has all the characteristics of other old monks, kind eyebrows, fresh and low desires, and worships the Buddha on time every day. He also has a skill that other monks don't have: foreseeing the future.

I don't know how good he is at this skill, and I've never seen him predict a thing. Master said that the secret of heaven should not be revealed, but if he said it, it is not a secret of heaven. I nodded and thought: Is it necessary to know that it is not a matter of heaven?

I always felt that Master loved me more than other brothers, and that was probably the reason why He picked me up. Master told me about the scene when he picked me up, and it happened to be snowing heavily that day, and he was a little uneasy from the beginning, and before he had finished his morning class, he hurried out of the gate, and before he had taken a few steps, he saw me wrapped in a yellow package and placed on the stone steps outside the door.

Master said that the moment He saw me, his heart suddenly returned to its previous calm. He walked up to me quickly and saw me looking at him quietly, and when he picked me up, I actually smiled at him. Master said that he wondered why I was here, the temple was inaccessible and there were no villages nearby, and there were no footprints around.

Despite all my doubts, Master brought me to the monastery, raised me, gave me a Dharma name, and ordained me as a monk when I was five years old. Many senior brothers say that Master is like my father, and Master always puts his hands together and shouts the Buddha's name that all beings are an equal family, so why not say that father and son are brothers. I don't agree with or disagree with this sentence, but every time I hear it, my heart is always empty. Like the other brothers, every day we would do our homework in the main hall, and every time I couldn't make it to the end.

When I stop halfway, I always secretly open my eyes and look at it randomly, every one of my brothers seems to be very employed, I have never seen anyone stop in the middle like me, and can look around absent-mindedly, but with this many brothers and sisters always say that I am not a good monk, because I have done something that a good monk should not do, in the past when they said me, I would ask them what a good monk should do, and their answer has never changed: work hard to do homework, work hard to chant sutras and participate in meditation。

Many uncles and uncles would also remind me that the purpose of doing homework is to calm my mind, and it is easy for me to get mad when I do this. I asked Master what it meant to go mad, and Master was stunned for a moment, but the Buddha didn't say anything, so I began to wonder if this was also a heavenly opportunity, and if I said it, it wouldn't work, so I stopped asking.

I don't know if it's because I'm young or because I'm not a good monk at all, as my senior brother said, and the problem of stopping halfway has never been solved. Over time, the brothers got used to it, and the uncle and uncle also saw it and began to look at me coldly.

The Buddha in the main hall has been smiling, and I also see a different feeling, just like the Master's loving eyes, as if there is something hidden, this is what I saw when I stopped doing my homework, I often wondered, is this Buddha in the main hall or just a mud fetus, why there are so many people worshipping him, and there are still so many people suffering.

This question has always been in my mind, and I am afraid that if I say it, my uncles will be surprised, say that I have gone mad, and will look at me angrily and think that I am not a good monk.

I have never understood the concept of "good monk", and I don't even know what "monk" is, but I always wonder what is the difference between us and those pilgrims except for the difference in hair and the number of times we chant the Buddha.

Master said that why do you want to compare monks and pilgrims? There was something in my heart for no reason, and it quickly scattered all over my body and then disappeared, and I felt very comfortable, and I also followed Master and said the Buddha name.

Before I was ten years old, Master had already taught me a lot of things, that he taught me to know Sanskrit, that he taught me to recite the Diamond Sutra, but he never explained to me the meaning of the scriptures, and I never asked or asked.

Every time I read a scripture, my mind was so calm that I could only feel when I meditated on the grass of the apse. I don't know why there is such a piece of grass in the apse, in short, since I can remember, I will sit here every day when the sun sets or rises, when I was seven years old, the master asked me to help me build a tower more than one meter high in the center of the meadow, so that I can also sit here in the wind, rain and snow, which makes those senior brothers laugh at me again when they are envious again, and always intentionally or unconsciously say that it is better for the abbot and the abbot's apprentice.

Master never defended such arguments, he just warned me not to be attached to them, but to know how to let go. Master can always let go of a lot of things, just for me he seems a little obsessed, and his attachment to me makes him let go of other brothers and sisters too much, Master said that all laws follow fate, and I don't know what the cause and effect of this is.

I must have fallen asleep when Master was lecturing in the main hall, and I tried to persevere once, but whether I heard the meaning of Master's words or the explanations of my brothers, I would always have a kind of irritability in my heart, and this kind of irritability would only be slightly relieved when Master read the scriptures, or when I memorized the contents of the scriptures in my heart, so I always wandered away when they explained the scriptures, and my heart seemed to understand why Master didn't explain the scriptures to me.

My teachers and uncles once said to my face that he would spoil me if he did this. I don't hate my uncles, I don't like it, I feel the same way about other brothers and sisters, and there are even many times when I have to try to remember how I feel about Master different from them, and as it grows, such memories become more and more difficult, and I was afraid of it, and I forgot about it unconsciously, and I didn't care too much, I wondered if this was what the Buddha said to let go, and I was worried, but as for what it was, I didn't know.

It is precisely because of this feeling that I never care what others think of me, and I don't even go through my heart at all, which makes those uncles very distressed, in their eyes I am the master's most beloved disciple, and they think that I will definitely accept the mantle of the master, but my performance really should not be that of a high monk, and from their words I seem to be able to realize that they even doubt whether I should be a good monk. And my brothers were secretly more happy with me than sneering.

In many cases, vacancies have always existed and have never changed, the only difference is that those faces that fill the vacancies are transitioning from one expression to another, and the majority of the decision of these expressions is in the hands of others, in this case, why are there so many people who try their best to seek what others decide, in fact, what is really related to them may only be a process, and what they care about the most is also the process, human beings, I can't help but sigh. None of this seems to have anything to do with me, so I really can't take it to heart.