Let me tell you something from my heart.

Recently, the mood of the bones has actually been in a low state, and this state has lasted for a long time. During this time, I wrote very hard every day, in fact, I was out of shape, but I was holding on, and I was more and more dissatisfied with what I wrote, and I obviously felt that the quality was declining.

It's not that writing makes me tired, it's that self-doubt every day makes me feel tired.

I have been persevering until now, my grades are getting worse and worse, and my bones are really confused and tired.

Even when I'm writing this now, I'm incoherent and don't know what I'm writing about.

Everyone knows that I write full-time, but I actually tell you one thing, when I decided to write, my family didn't agree. But in the end I convinced my dad, and I made an agreement with my dad that he would support me for three years at the beginning, and if three years passed and there was still no way to support me, I would give up, go out to work, and write as a hobby.

Man still has to survive...

At that time, I was very confident in myself, and I felt that I could always support myself.

Now that a year has passed, and there are only two years left before the agreed time with my dad, I really can't see the way forward, seriously.

Since the signing of the contract, the remuneration for May is 76 yuan, June: 198 yuan, and July 272 yuan.

Really devastated.

Moving bricks is better than me.

The first time the manuscript fee arrived, it was given in May and June, a total of 274 yuan, I divided it into four points, one for my father, one for my mother, one for my grandmother, and one for myself, and asked them not to dislike less, and remind themselves that it would be good to treat it as pocket money.

Before I signed a contract, I could still deceive myself, not because my work was unpopular, but because I didn't have a good chance, but after signing and putting it on the shelves, looking at the dismal subscriptions, I really couldn't continue to deceive myself.

But at the beginning of looking at the dismal subscriptions, I can still deceive myself, it will get better and better in the future, more and more people will see it, as long as it is still improving, then there is still hope. But since the second volume, the subscription situation has been even worse, and it has continued to decline, and I can't find an excuse to deceive myself again......

All along, writing to the present, is completely generating electricity for love.

I knew that I didn't write well enough, and I could only blame myself for the poor grades, and as a newcomer, there were many deficiencies. But I'm also an individual, and there have been times when I had emotional breakdowns, and now I'm really sorry that my emotions have broken down.

I know that the front of my book is not well written, and it has dissuaded many people, but like my child, I really can't bear to let it die.

I want to go out for a walk, adjust my emotions, and get back on my feet.

I'm in this state now, I can't force myself to write, and I can't write anything with quality, and the slow update is already deadly, and if the quality drops again, I'm afraid that this book will be declared dead directly.

Do your best, obey the destiny of heaven, the last two years are likely to be the only chance in this life.

I know that if I take a leave of absence, there will definitely be a loss of readers, but I am actually used to this situation, and even if I don't take a leave of absence, the fact that the book is going downhill is inevitable, and after a long time, readers will leave me.

I'm sorry to make you my readers, and you have to suffer with me.

I'm writing this just to tell you how I feel, my status, not to imply that everyone is tipping me, I know that some readers are very supportive of me, but everyone's money is not blowing in the wind. My poor grades in this book are bad, the subscription is not good, and no matter how much I tip, I can't support myself.

It's a bit incoherent, a little illogical, but it's really so low that I don't want to sort out the word order anymore.

I want to rest for two days, don't think about anything, don't think about anything, don't worry about anything, comfort myself, I'm sorry, you can scold if you want to, useless people like me, scold hard...

What will happen in the end, in fact, I will still come back to write, if in the remaining two years, I really can't support myself, then I will try my best to finish writing the world of Xun Qin Ji during this time, there is a beginning and an end, at least I can give you an explanation.

Three years later, I'll still be writing it. But the speed of my egg hurts.,Writing while working.,I'm afraid it's really going to slow out of the sky.,But it's not bad as a hobby.。。。。

I'm going to take a leave of absence again, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.