Chapter 2 Absurdity
Look at a young man coming from afar, this man is fresh and handsome, with a straight nose and thin lips, and a tall figure that shows his grace. But this man's eyes are not good, and his right eye is a Danfeng eye that is provocative, which is really peugeot. The other eye, however, was a triangular eye. There are two scars on the eyelids of that triangular eye, and at first glance, he should have been beaten like this.
The snow was still falling down, and the pedestrians on the street, some around their necks, some in big hats, and the most poor people had to hold an umbrella. Only this master was wearing a light shirt and open arms, which attracted the whispers of others. But this master didn't care at all, he was arrogant, and deliberately walked forward with figure-eight steps. His right hand was raised high, and his five fingers rotated two round, delicate walnuts that were coiled.
The master had just gotten on a small flowing bridge, and he leaned on the railing to look into the river, and suddenly, two golden carp jumped onto the water. As soon as the master was overjoyed, he threw the walnuts in his hand into the water. Speaking of which, this master is also a loser, so he casually threw away the two walnuts worth 100 silver.
At this time, the eighteen sedan chair was carried to the bridge by eight strong sedan chair drivers. As soon as the sedan chair came to the master's side, it stopped, and then the sedan curtain was lifted. Suddenly, hot air erupted from the sedan chair. A round head came out, this man was not very old, but he had a fat head and big ears, and he was born with a rich majesty. But this person didn't pay attention to his appearance, he narrowed his eyes, and said with a rather obscene smile: "Eh, isn't this Second Master Chai?"
When the master turned around when he heard this, he giggled: "What's the matter, Zhang Laobutt, I didn't beat you enough last time, do you want to touch the master's moldy head?"
When the people in the sedan car heard this, their eyes showed some unhappiness. This rich young man's surname is Zhang, and his name is Qiandu. As soon as Zhang Qiandu was mentioned, he had to mention Zhang Jun, the waiter of the Ministry of Works. And who is this Zhang Jun, that is the right-hand man of Qin Zhonghui and Qin Xiang, who leans towards the government and the opposition. Now in Lin'an, those who dare to call Zhang Qiandu the nickname are estimated to be the only one who has big and small eyes.
Suddenly, this Qiandu smiled and said, "Your second master Chai's fist is powerful, I don't dare to understand it anymore." Last time, I was wrong, that girl was the second master of Chai, you took a fancy to first, I didn't dare to take away the beauty. Why, I heard that Mr. Xishan in Hanhaixuan's hook column has written a new book and is calling the actors to sing. Second Master Chai appreciates his face and follows me to take a look, which can be regarded as a compensation to you. ”
The master laughed when he heard this, and then he scolded: "Bullshit Mr. Xishan, Lao Tzu is still Mr. Dongpo! Only bastards go to watch that kind of shitty show, get out!" Before the master's words fell, he left Zhang Qiandu, who was blue-faced, swaggered and continued to walk forward.
Zhang Qiandu muttered to himself: "These phoenix hairs in King Zhou's mansion will let you clean them sooner or later." With that, he threw the sedan curtain down fiercely.
The master walked all the way, and then swayed all the way to the front of the ten thousand sea flowers. This ten thousand sea flowers bloom is a famous green building in Lin'an City, and the girls in this building are all equipped with unique skills. Even if there are prostitutes who sell their arts but do not sell their bodies, there are people who spend a lot of money to provide for them. Before the master could go in, a group of girls greeted him. It is said that the girl in the bloom of ten thousand seas has never gone out of the building to welcome guests. But this master is the only exception, not for anything else, just because all the girls who have a little friendship with this master have given him a distressing evaluation.
The master was surrounded by all the women and entered the building, and the girls asked him nonsense, why hasn't he been here for so long? The master just smiled: "Lao Tzu doesn't like you anymore!" As soon as he finished speaking, he reached into his crotch and found a large number of things. There are jade pendants and beads in this string of things, expensive and cheap, all available.
When the girls saw it, they smiled.
"Second master, you really feel sorry for our sisters. Something I just casually mentioned to you last time, you brought it this time. ”
The master smiled nonchalantly when he heard this, and when the string of things was distributed, a short flute was empty. The master played with the short flute, and couldn't help frowning: "Last time, Ah Ru begged me for a short flute, and she said that the original one was broken." Let me ask you, where has Ah Ru gone?"
A girl next to her who was wearing yellow flowers and red lips and white teeth said: "Sister Ah Ru has returned to her hometown to save relatives, if you come a day earlier, you will be able to see her." ”
"You can't make up all this nonsense. Is it the provincial bustard, or the provincial king and the eighth turtle prince?" the master sneered, and in an instant, he quickly ran to the side and overturned a table. With this move, the girl guests who were waiting at the table were scattered.
"Don't you say it, I'll burn the flowers of the four seas with a fire!"
"Second master, our heart, what are you doing, we tell you!"
A group of girls dragged this master into the corner, and then one of them whispered: "Early this morning, Liu Hanlin's son-in-law Liu Minchi and Han Zhongcheng's son-in-law Han Shengzhang came. As soon as they came, they called Sister Ah Ru to accompany the wine ......"
"Bastard, didn't your mother tell them that Ah Ru is my girl?"
He said, but they didn't listen. The father of these two sons, but he is a member of the Qinshan Party, where can we afford to provoke him. ”
The master smiled and said, "Take me to see them." ”
After a while, the master stood in front of the door of a private room. Outside the door, you can hear the intermittent sound of the pipa coming from inside the house. As soon as the master heard that the voice was wrong, he kicked open the door of the private room. As soon as the door opened, the three people in the room really jumped.
There were three people in the house, and the first thing he saw was a girl who thought that pear blossoms were carrying the rain, struggling in the arms of a young man with a mustache. There is also a middle-aged man, who is playing with the pipa in his arms.
Suddenly, the middle-aged man threw the pipa in his hand, and the mustache let go of the girl in his arms, and the girl flew into the master's arms.
The mustache grinned and said, "Eh, Second Master Chai, why are you here, please take a seat." ”
The master first glanced at the girl in his arms, and then he smiled and said, "Cry a fart!
The woman doesn't serve these two sons well, and she still has a face to cry, get out of here!"
If you want to say what this master is, he first humiliated Zhang Jun's son, and then trembled the sons of these two high-ranking officials. This master has a background, the only little prince in Lin'an City with a different surname in the palace, his name is Chai Yanqing. To say that although this palace has no real power, this second master Chai is a well-known demon king in Lin'an City, and there is nothing in Lin'an City that he does not dare to provoke. Why, just because he urinated and passed the mud with the current Emperor of the Great Song Dynasty when he was a child.
Second Master Chai smiled and did it. And this Han Gongzi and that Liu Gongzi hid far away, and they didn't even dare to look at this second master of Chai.
Seeing this, Second Master Chai poured a glass of wine and tasted it slowly.
"Look at the courage of the two of you, you don't dare to do anything against me. Let's say, it was Zhang Fat who instructed you to stumble on my grandfather and me, or that lame man. ”
The two looked at each other and did not dare to speak.
"If you don't say it, then I'll cut off the thing under the crotch of the two of you and stuff it into Ling Tang's mouth. ”
Hearing this, the middle-aged man raised his head and shouted, "Chai Er, don't deceive people too much!"
Chai Erye smiled and said: "This wicked person sued first, but I deceived others first, or did you touch my woman first?"
The middle-aged man didn't look like a sleek person, and as soon as he heard Chai Yanqing's question, he came up: "Isn't it just a prostitute riding ten thousand people!
"Good!
As soon as Second Master Chai slapped the table, he stood up. He slowly walked up to the middle-aged man, pressed his shoulder and said, "Young Master Liu, I heard that Ling Zun was also a romantic and talented man back then, and Ling Tang was born as a woman in the Qinglou back then. According to what you just said, wouldn't I also be able to go to your mansion and ride on Lingtang?"
"You!"
When the middle-aged man heard this, he was furious. Just as he was about to shout and curse, a pig-like scream came out of his mouth. It turned out that I don't know when, this second master Chai had already held his life
Root. When the mustache saw this, he didn't know what to do for a moment.
At this time, I only heard the second master of Chai shouting: "Wan lame! You come out for Lao Tzu, I know you are here! Could it be that you want to be a shrunken turtle and watch you become a eunuch!"
Not long after Second Master Chai said that, a short man with a plate with a big face walked out of nowhere. The man's big face was full of pockmarks. As his eyes rolled, the pockmarks on his face seemed to follow suit. If you look at it, you will have countless small eyes staring at people. And this person is the son of Wan Yiqi, Wan Qiwei.
Chai Erye just smiled when he saw Wan Qiwei, and he was not surprised. He knew that in the fine private rooms where all the seas bloomed, there was a dark room for the guests to do the things of men and women. Otherwise, he wouldn't be so sure that Wan Qiwei is hiding here.
Wan Qiwei smiled and said: "Second Master Chai, why bother to be so angry, I'm just making a little joke with you." ”
Second Master Chai let go of Han Gongzi's life, he picked up a wine jug casually, and rinsed his hands with wine.
"Wan lame, if you are joking with your master, then I will kill you. ”
Wan Qiwei raised his eyebrows when he heard this, and he said lightly: "If the second master really has the ability, then kill me now, or I will go down now, tear that girl's skirt and throw it into the prison!"
"That's what you said. ”
"I said it. ”
"I really killed you. ”
"You kill!"
"I'm going to kill you!"
"You're here to kill!"
......
"Bang!"
I thought that this Second Master Chai was joking, but the other two people in the private room didn't expect that this Second Master Chai really dared to do it. Just look at him smashing down a wine bottle, and Wan Qiwei's head was opened on the spot, dripping with blood!
The mustache was stunned, and then shouted loudly, "Go and get a doctor!"
After a few moments, the doctor came. But as soon as the doctor entered the private room, he saw a strange scene. He saw an injured man holding his bleeding head in one hand and pouring wine for another man in the other. He also knew that man, it was the second master of Chai of King Zhou's mansion.
"Second master, I'm convinced, you really dare to do it. Have you ever thought that if you really beat me to death, your palace will not be ruined?"
Second Master Chai threw a peanut into his mouth, he chewed it and spit it out, only to hear him laugh and say, "Try it?"
Wan Qiwei smiled and said, "Don't, I don't dare." By the way, Second Master, I haven't seen you out of the palace in the past few days. Could it be that your sister-in-law has forbidden your feet?"
"Bullshit!"
Chai Erye didn't know how to start a fire, and at this time, the doctor wanted to step forward to treat Wan Qiwei, but was pushed away by Wan Qiwei.
"In King Zhou's mansion, she has a foreign surname who wants to take care of me, dreaming!"
"That's right, what kind of character is your second master, how can you be afraid of your sister-in-law. Come on, drink!"
Speaking of this, the two of them pushed the cup and changed it. I don't know how much I drank, but Chai Erye's eyes were dark, and he got drunk.
By the time he woke up, the snow had stopped. But the weather was outrageously cold, so Second Master Chai turned around and wanted to pull the quilt. But at this pull, he stood up suddenly. He looked around, and there was a white wilderness in all directions, where did the quilt come from. And he looked further, and there was a city two miles away in front of him, and that city he recognized was Lin'an. Immediately, he looked down again, and he saw that he was naked and naked.
"Phew!
In an instant, Second Master Chai knew that he had fallen into the trap of ten thousand enterprises. Second Master Chai pursed his lips, kept his arm and went to Lin'an. It was evening, and the city gates and streets were still full of pedestrians. Second Master Chai entered the city gate and strode down the street, and he didn't know how many people he had provoked the eyes and ridicule. In the blink of an eye, the news that Second Master Chai was spreading joy on the street with his bare butt spread throughout Lin'an.
When Chai Er Ye returned to the palace located on Lao Qian Street, it was completely dark. Second Master Chai stopped in front of the two broad gates, and he looked up at the three big characters of the Zhou Wangfu that were slightly paradoxical reflected by the blue lanterns, and couldn't help but shudder. Along the way, his body was already frozen.
"Bang!
Second Master Chai knocked on the door twice, and then he heard a tooth-itching sound of the door shaft turning. A small crack opened in the door, revealing an eye. Around the eyes, there are wrinkles. It can be seen that the person who opened the door is already old.
"Old money...... Fast... Fast... Let me in...... I'm freezing to death. ”
Hearing the words of Second Master Chai, the person who opened the door sighed. Then, he said in a slightly hoarse voice: "Second master, it's not that the old slave won't open it for you." It's the princess who has a life, and she won't let me open it for you. She said, since you want to be embarrassed, then you can lose it as much as you want!"
"Fuck the shit!"
After saying this complete sentence, Chai Erye fell to the ground with a bang. Seeing this, the door was opened. The hunchbacked old servant just picked up the second master of Chai and brought him into the house.
A pile of firewood was burning, and it took more than half an hour for a little blood to appear on the face of Second Master Chai. The old servant brought a cup of hot tea and handed it to the second master of Chai and said, "Second master, you will spend the night with the old slave in this gatehouse tonight, don't go to the inner house." If the princess sees it, not only you, but even I won't be able to eat and walk around!"
Second Master Chai said lightly: "I'm afraid of what she will do, this palace belongs to my Chai family, and I should have the final say." ”
The old servant shook his head and said, "Second master, you can let the princess save her worries." If it weren't for the princess's hard work, I'm afraid this palace would have been gone a long time ago! Even if you don't care about the princess's face, you have to take care of the old prince and the uncle's face!"
"Phew!"
Second Master Chai spat and said: "A wreck, a bastard who doesn't distinguish between black and white, why should I take care of their face!"
The old servant looked at the cynical appearance of Second Master Chai, and he didn't know what to say for a while, but he couldn't stop lamenting the victory.
Seeing that the old servant was silent, Second Master Chai tasted the tea peacefully. But before he had tasted half of the tea, he heard the sound of chaotic footsteps of varying degrees in all directions. Immediately, the outside of this gatehouse was brightly lit and bright.
"It's the princess here!"
The old servant shouted, Chai Erye rolled out of bed when he boarded, he hurriedly got into the quilt, and instructed the old servant: "But don't tell my sister-in-law that I'm back!"
Before Chai Erye's words fell, he heard a woman outside the porter with a soft voice, but she tried her best to lower her voice and said, "Chai Yanqing, come out!"
The old servant shook his head and said, "Second master, you just go out, where can you hide this?"
Second Master Chai was stunned for a moment, and finally got out of bed helplessly, and only after wrapping a quilt on his body did he push open the door and walk out of the gatehouse. At this time, there were already a lot of people gathered outside this gatehouse, including family members and maids. When they saw Second Master Chai's embarrassment, they all tried their best to hold back their laughter. In front of them stood a woman dressed in very simple clothes. I saw that she had a goose egg face, red phoenix eyes, a nose that was neither high nor low, red lips that were not thin or thick, and her figure wrapped in simple clothes was neither fat nor thin. She wore a low bun, and her green hair was slanted, which dazzled people's eyes.
This is not stunning, but it can make people unforgettable, like a person. Speaking of which, she is seven or eight points similar to Duan Yunlou, but her age looks like she is a few years older.
Suddenly, the woman said lightly: "Kneel." ”
Second Master Chai didn't bother much, he simply knelt on the ground neatly. Then, he kowtowed heavily to the woman.
"Sister-in-law, I'm sorry!"
But when he kowtowed, the quilt that wrapped his body was loosened. Immediately, he hurriedly wrapped up the quilt again. Seeing this, the onlookers couldn't hold back any longer, and they all laughed quietly.
"You can't stand me, what you can't stand is the Zhou Wangfu and the Chai family! You have done too much this time. ”
When Second Master Chai heard this, he wanted to defend himself, but when he saw the woman's tearful eyes, he finally endured it.