In the darkness, sobbing silently, I used the darkness to hide my vulnerability.

At this most vulnerable time, I felt lonely, a deep loneliness, and let the killing in my heart slowly subside. They are all innocent like me, they have families, they have parents, they have friends, and I used to be no different from them, but now, they are going to die in my hands, I can't bear it! They are just bewitched by others, they don't deserve to die! They are about the same age as me, and we should have listened to my husband's lectures in the school without worry, unlike now, holding swords and fighting for our lives.

My heart is in turmoil...... I used to be naïve, innocent, and murderous is a crime, and I have always adhered to the truth that my husband and father gave me. But now, where did I leave them?

Perhaps it was the only remaining bit of conscience that was fighting against the evil in my heart, and I suddenly found that the world had changed, it was not the world I knew, the innocence, the smiles, were gone.

The world has changed, it has become so dark and dark.

With tears in my eyes and my leaden legs, I walked out step by step, out of the darkness, towards the place where there was only a little light.

"Zhang Fugui! That's Zhang Fugui!"

Someone saw me, screamed and drew their weapons, staring at me with fear and hatred.

They are sad because their hatred should not be me. I'm luckier than them, because I know who I should hate.

Someone took the lead, and the rest of the people stood up in an instant, staring on guard.

By the faint light of Taniguchi, they saw me. I saw many of them gasping, and some of the female disciples even vomited.

I stopped and looked at myself, and indeed, a white coat had been dyed dark red, clinging to me, and my fingernails were covered with blood, and in a few days, my nails had grown to more than half an inch. The long hair was scattered, and the blood mixed with the strands of the hair was congealed into pieces, covered in blood and stench, like a demon crawling out of hell.

I smiled bitterly, only bitterly.

"He is Zhang Fugui! He is the one who killed so many of our senior brothers!"

"If it weren't for you, how would we be here!"

"You're a demon!

"Why aren't you dead! I curse you for not dying well!"

...... Every word in the cry is heartbreaking, very direct, very plain, it is all an abuse of me, a curse on me.

They don't understand me, because in the same way, they don't understand themselves, that's the difference between me and them, but I hope I'd rather be them, because they, and their companions, and trust, I'm always alone, fighting alone, bleeding alone, bearing the darkness of the world alone...... "I, I want to go home......"

A hoarse voice rolled out of my throat, and it was so clear in this dead valley.

Someone was silent, looking at me, and the wavering of their hearts made their weapons slowly lower. Among them, there were many people with red eyes and tears flowing down again, just because of one sentence, go home...... It is the warmest and most nostalgic corner of everyone's heart, this soft holy place, containing their hopes, their memories.

"I also want to go home, back to the eighth peak, but you, you don't deserve it!"

You're not worthy! You're not worthy!

These three words echoed in the valley, suppressing all the whimpering sounds, extremely harsh.

I looked up at him, it was a young man, his curly white clothes showed his noble status, and the slender sword was as cold as his eyes, full of murderous intent.

"How many people have you killed? How many of our brothers and sisters have you killed? They also have homes, and they want to go home! But you, you made them never go home!"

The young man's roaring voice gradually made everyone's red eyes even redder, but this time what was revealed was not sadness, but hatred, anger, and killing intent!

I shook my head, "I don't want to kill people, it's not my fault, it's Qiu Xi, it's Qiu Xi, it's him who ...... you"

"You don't want to kill people! But how many have you killed? Your life is life, and their life is not life! Is your life worth so many lives? Answer me!"

"You say you're right, but what's wrong with them! You want to live, they are also trying to live! Why didn't you give up your life to save them? Answer me!"

"Look at all the people here, they all came to this desperate place of death because of you, and they are all the result of the death you brought to the innocent people, don't you regret it, don't you feel guilty, don't you feel sad? Answer me!"

Answer me! Answer me! Answer me! Question after question, as if an iron hammer was pounding on my heart, I suddenly felt that I was so selfish, so evil, so ugly!

I was stunned, that's right, my life is just a life, everyone has a life, and it shouldn't be harvested by me. I'm just like them, they just want to survive, they kill me for a living, but how many people do I kill for a living?

I looked down at the bloody clothes on my body, some of them were my blood, but more of them were other people's blood! I always felt that fate was unfair, why did I have to watch my father and mother die in front of me without a choice, why did I have to bear a sea of blood and revenge but could not be avenged, why did I have to suffer so much without doing anything! But what about them, they also died in vain without doing anything, and the injustice of God has brought so much pain to others after I have suffered so much!

I looked at my hands, at the dark red lines in my palms, at the black smell of my nails, and my heart trembled, I was lost!

"Why? Why! Why ......"

I looked up to the sky and shouted, the gray sky suddenly turned red, and two tears slipped from the corners of my eyes, they were red! I roared, my hands clutched my head, blood dripping down my fingernails, I didn't seem to feel pain, because this physical pain is no better than the pain in my heart!

In a trance, I saw them rushing towards them one by one, with hideous expressions, gritted teeth, and the wicked smile of the young man...... I didn't care, I didn't want to resist, I just thought, why, why, I forgot why, why I asked, what I asked, what did I ask...... Just repeating, why!

Blood kept pouring out of the corners of my mouth, even my nose, my ears, my eyes, I just stared at the sky, watching the dark clouds on the valley roll, as if laughing, laughing at my childishness, laughing at my fragility.

Consciousness dissipated and collapsed, and I suddenly felt as if I was in a fog, surrounded by a vast white expanse, no sky above, no earth below, no mountains around, no water, no people, only endless fog, and me.

I didn't have him in my head, I just dragged my heavy steps, walking forward step by step, I didn't know why I was leaving, I just felt that only by walking would it seem that I was still alive.

I don't know how long I walked, I wanted to stop, but I didn't feel tired, I didn't want to stop, it seemed that there was a will to control me, let me keep walking.

My eyes were blank, perhaps because there was only a white mist around me, and I closed most of my eyelids, like a walking corpse, staggering away where my consciousness might or may not exist.

The road ahead was still white and foggy, as if I was just standing still, but after walking for a long time, my eyelids fluttered, as if this was the beating of my life. I slowly opened my eyes, and I don't know if I heard it wrong, I heard the sound of running water in front of me, and children frolicking. My lips moved, but there was no sound, the sound of flowing water, and the flowing water of Ping'an Village, seemed to ...... I wanted to speed up, but my body was too heavy, so I could only keep moving forward step by step. Slowly, the fog faded, the world in front of me gradually became clearer, I saw a child, the child was a little shy, timidly leaning against the tree, looking at a group of children playing in the distance, it seemed that they had the heart to join, but they were a little afraid.

When the boy saw me, there was a little fear in his eyes, but it was fleeting, and he strode up to me, took me by the hand, and led me to the woods on the side. The child's hands were warm, with a strangeness, but also a jerky familiarity.

A smile slowly appeared at the corner of my mouth, my tense heart calmed down, I felt my body relaxed, not as stiff as before, and I walked a little briskly. When the boy saw me like this, he smiled brightly and sped up.

In the woods, there were no birds or insects, and there were many big trees with many sacks hanging on them, and I don't know what they contained. The child stopped and "shh I fell, with a smile on the corner of my mouth, but I still felt conscious, and I only felt a little numb and itchy in my heart.

The child smiled evilly, drew his short sword, and blood gushed and splashed on his body and face. He licked the blood from the corner of his mouth and groped my pockets, but found nothing, so he angrily slashed a few swords at me to vent his anger. At last he put me in a sack, leaving only one head outside, and hung me up a tree, not knowing why he had so much strength...... He left, and I looked at the sky, as if my body was dead, and I could only keep my eyes open, looking at the cloudy and sunny days in the sky, and watching the clouds in the sky. I don't know how long it took, the fog got thicker and thicker, and it didn't take long for the stars to disappear, the sun and the moon to disappear, and the surroundings returned to a white expanse again, and at this time, I was lying on the ground, feeling that my body could move.

I slowly got up, the wound was no longer bleeding, I don't know if the blood was dry, but my heart was still beating, although my body had no temperature.

I walked again and again as if I were walking on the same footing, my heart was tired, I wanted to close my eyes and fall asleep, but I couldn't close my eyelids completely, so I just kept my eyes open, walking, walking.

There was a faint voice in front of me, and a glimmer of light flashed in my eyes, and I walked slowly. This time, it was not a village, but a battlefield, I saw rivers of blood, I saw corpses strewn all over the field, I saw the few people left fighting desperately, they were not mortals, they were monks, all kinds of dazzling spells were splashing everywhere, and there was even residual energy bombarding me, but I didn't feel pain, not even anything.

There was laughter in my ears, and this laughter was full of satisfaction, full of hatred. I looked up, and I couldn't see anything except a red full moon, but my body gradually floated up, and the people fighting became smaller and smaller, and finally it was almost invisible. Finally, I saw the person who laughed, I could only see the side, it was a man, full of white hair, but the skin was very smooth, it looked very handsome, but the evil exposed at the corners of the eyes made the whole person look like an inexplicable palpitation.

When the man saw me, he stopped laughing, turned around, and looked at me silently, and I saw a familiar shadow in him, and it was clearly the same child who had killed me! The man beckoned to me, and I involuntarily walked over and stood face to face with him, a few feet away.

The man stared at me, smiled slowly, and took a step as if to merge with me, but there was not a trace of surprise in my heart, not even a ripple.

Just for a moment, I seem to have changed!

I stood very indifferently above the extreme sky, overlooking the earth under my feet, the smoke on the ground was billowing out, and under the reflection of the blood moon, it was full of death and evil, and gradually, a smile appeared on the corner of my mouth, which slowly turned into a smile that seemed to be very cheerful and happy......