blessing

One day, the teacher asked the students to say blessings, and Xiao Ming was the first to stand up and say aloud:

"I wish you a smile and a laugh.

Good luck with you and missing halfway.

Back home, nowhere to be found.

Wishing you prosperity and falling into the coffin.

I wish you a prosperous business and a poorer and poorer business.

I wish you a happy day and cramps in your legs.

I wish you all the best and hit a wall everywhere.

I wish you good health and loss of teeth.

Good luck all the way and fall down halfway.

I wish you happiness like the East China Sea, and the whole family jumps into the sea.

I wish you a happy day and often perverted.

I wish you an early birth to a noble son and a lifetime of death.

......

All of them, including the teacher, fell to the ground and spurted blood.

Died

There is a family surnamed Pan, and the elders have passed away. During the family sacrifice, an old gentleman with a strong local accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies.

Here's what the obituary wrote:

Filial piety: Pangenko

Filial daughter-in-law: Chi's

Filial granddaughter: Pan Liangci

Filial piety: Pan Daoshi

But this old gentleman is dizzy and his pronunciation is not standard. When he followed the obituary roll call, he did not see anything that literally had three points of water or the left capital was missing. So he read it to him like this: "Filial piety, turn ...... Follow...... Bucket ......"

When Xiaonan heard it, he thought it was strange, but he didn't dare to ask, so he turned over a heel fight.

Then he said: "Filial daughter-in-law, too...... It's ......"

When the filial daughter-in-law heard this: "I'm going to turn it over too?" so the filial daughter-in-law also committed a fight.

Again: "Filial granddaughter, turn it twice." ”

When the filial granddaughter heard this, she thought that her parents had turned it over, so I would too!

At this time, Xiaosun thought to himself: "My father and mother have turned it once, and my sister has turned it twice, so how many times should I turn it?"

I only heard the old gentleman tear open his throat and read out loud: "Filial piety, turn ...... Arrive...... Dead ......"

interlocution

I once ate in the school cafeteria with my classmates, and there was a sexy hot girl sitting next to me, and her chest was about to come out. I took one look at it, turned to my classmates and said, "Let me ask you a question, how much does the largest elephant in the world weigh? A: 1 ton, B: 2 ton, C: 3 ton, D: 4 ton, E: 5 ton, F: 6 ton. ”

The classmate lowered his head and thought seriously for a while, and said, "3 tons." I whispered, "6 tons." He immediately retorted loudly: "Damn!

The girl next to her scolded: "Pervert!" and turned to leave.

Movie

One day, a small theater screened a piece, and the advertisement read: "The Story of Seven Men and a Woman", and there is a description: A beautiful woman faints inexplicably, and seven men forcibly drag her into the forest, waiting for the beauty's ...... Everyone found it attractive and bought tickets to enter, and when the movie was shown, it appeared on the big screen: "Snow White". The crowd went away in a rage.

The next day, everyone passed by the small theater again, and saw that the advertisement had changed, and the advertisement read: "The Story of Seven Men and a Woman", and there was a description: A beautiful woman and seven men for several days of turbulent ecstasy (by no means "Snow White"). Everyone felt that this time it was more attractive than last time, and it was not Snow White, so they bought tickets to enter again, and the big screen appeared: "Eight Immortals Across the Sea"