Zhenghuo said and said, he also wanted to tell them a thrilling and poetic-filled country, and the story of Su Dongpo, one of the top ten saints, and Su Xiaomei: "Okay, the last big story." Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info”

Everyone shouted for joy and said, "Great, tell me quickly." ”

Zhenghuo said: "One day Su Dongpo joked about his sister's appearance, describing his sister's convex forehead and concave eyes as:

Three or five steps before leaving the hall, the forehead goes to the front of the painting hall first;

It was difficult to wipe away tears a few times, leaving two springs.

Su Xiaomei grinned, and immediately ridiculed each other: Su Xiaomei

A clump of mourning grass came out of the lips, and the beard and sideburns were not visible;

The corners of the mouth were nowhere to be found a few times, and suddenly I heard a sound in the hair.

The poem ridicules Su Shi's unrepaired, unkempt beard. The girl is most afraid of others saying the weakness of her appearance, Su Xiaomei's forehead is protruding a little, and her eye sockets are sunken, so she was caught by Su Shi and teased, Su Xiaomei said that Su Shi's beard doesn't seem to have caught the sore spot, and she feels that she has not taken advantage of it, and then she looks at it and finds that her brother's forehead is flat, and there is no sense of grandeur, and another horse face, up to one foot long, the two eyes are far away, and the whole is that the facial features are out of proportion, and she immediately diligently occupies another poem:

The balance is three thousand, looking at the eyebrows and clouds;

Last year, a drop of lovesick tears has not reached the ear and cheek.

Su Shi was so happy that he patted his sister's head and laughed when he heard it. The brothers and sisters of the Su family joked about it, but it can be said that there are no taboos, and they are often puns with words, let you imagine.

Su Dongpo has many monk friends, the Song Dynasty is prevalent, advocating a clear mind, but also greatly reducing the status of women, women's personality is depressed, in addition to vigorously advocating women's foot binding, but also requires women not to speak loudly, smile without teeth, every day to hide in the boudoir to learn the female red, the day of marriage have to put a red cloth on the head to prevent others from seeing. The Su family is a family of scholars, and they have different knowledge, and the monks who interact with Su Dongpo are empty, so when Su Dongpo talks and jokes with those monks, he does not interfere with his sharp-toothed sister in the middle, whether she is elegant or rude.

One day, Su Dongpo went out with a group of monks to play, Su Xiaomei followed step by step, and suddenly saw a monk swimming in the river, carrying heavy loads and floating, and the blue waves were like a smooth ball rolling, Su Xiaomei was rare and strange, and she was full of interest when she saw it, and said in a bad voice: "Wash the monk in the water of the Qingjiang River, and the waves roll the gourd." One of the presiding monks who followed her was also a joker, and immediately said: "There is a beautiful woman sitting in the bisha tent, and the smoke cage is full of peonies." This time the topic was not endless, Su Xiaomei was not to be outdone, and came out again: "The monk sleeps in the brocade quilt, and there is a gourd among the ten thousand flowers." ”

The host immediately said: "The female is against the bronze, and there are two flowers in the half-acre pond." ”

Su Xiaomei was clumsy for a while, and she was helpless, and when she looked up and saw a monk in Jiangxin holding the boat, the topic changed:

"The monk supported the boat, and beat the Arhat in the heart of the river. ”

There are some difficulties in this couplet, it is written from the "shadow", and it must be answered with a "shadow" to be appropriate, the host can't help but scrutinize carefully, and finally said:

"The beauty draws water, and the rope leads the bottom of the well Guanyin. ”

Su Xiaomei was unwilling and made trouble again:

"Five hundred Arhats crossed the river, and there were thousands of Buddha's hands in the heart of the river on the bank. ”

This time Su Xiaomei met an opponent, and the presiding monk quickly said:

"A beautiful woman looks at the moon, and there are two cicadas in the sky on earth. ”

Among Su Dongpo's many monk friends, Foyin is the closest one, and there are no taboos for him and Su Xiaomei to fight. One day, Buddha Yin jokingly said to her: "I have a couplet, dare to ask the female donor to answer" The couplet is:

"A woman sleeps alone, with three hairy eyes. ”

Su Xiaomei is a woman, Foyin knows that she has always been competitive, and never admits defeat in couplets with others, this time she chose such a pair full of yellow tones to force Su Xiaomei to not speak, who would have expected that Su Xiaomei has always been naughty and bold, and she had already spoken similar couplets with her brother, and she didn't feel anything at all, although she inevitably blushed a little at first, but when I thought that you monks dare to say, what do I dare not say, so I said:

"The two monks bed together, upside down the four bald heads. ”

Buddha Yin shook his head again and again, admitting that he had failed, and even praised Su Xiaomei's splendid scheming and quick thinking. Once Su Dongpo and the Buddha Yin monk meditated in the forest, the sun moved the bamboo shadow, a silence, for a long time, the Buddha Yin said to Su Dongpo: "Guanjun sitting, just like the Buddha." Su Dongpo was overjoyed in his heart, and when he saw the brown robe of the Buddha Yin on the ground, he said to the Buddha Yin: "The Venerable Master sits like a pile of cow dung. Monk Buddha Yin just smiled. Su Dongpo thought that this time he made the Buddha Yin monk suffer a loss, and he was secretly proud, and couldn't help but quietly tell Su Xiaomei, but he didn't expect Su Xiaomei to say: "Brother, you lost again." Buddhism has scriptures: the heart thinks, the eyes see. The Buddha has a Buddha in his heart, so he looks like a Buddha. And you look at him like cow dung because you only have cow dung in your heart!"

Above the living room, Su Shi, Su Xiaomei, Su Xun, Su Zhe, Wang Fu and some other servants, Xiaomei said: "Brother, please take it." Su Shi said: "Sister, let the horse come."

"It doesn't rain when it snows in the sky, and the snow turns into rain on the ground, and it's really troublesome for snow to turn into rain, so it's better to rain directly. The people present even claimed that it was "good".

Little sister, please listen to the next link.

"Devils don't eat when they eat, and the rice turns into in the stomach, and it's really troublesome for the rice to turn into, so it's better to eat directly. The people present were even more crazy and said: "Okay" His wife couldn't help but kiss him in public, it was really worthy of the gods of God, and everyone slowly calmed down.

Su Xiaomei said: "You can figure it out, it's really ~~~~ wonderful, wonderful." This is the most unique couplet ever, actually put the snow into, good, please listen to a couplet, spell poetry until late at night, confidants are brothers and sisters through the ages, who can beat Su Xiaomei, only a poem on the east slope, talking and laughing between the waves and the shore.

According to legend, on Su Xiaomei's wedding night, in order to try the talent of the groom Qin Shaoyou, three passes were set up to test Qin Shaoyou. Qin Shaoyou passed the first two levels smoothly. The third level is that Su Xiaomei went out to let Qin Shaoyou go to the lower link, and stipulated that only when the pair came out would the door be opened to let him enter the cave room. Su Xiaomei's upper link is: "The month before the window is closed." Qin Shaoyou couldn't think about it, walked around the yard, and finally stopped in front of a lotus pot. Su Xiaomei's eldest brother Su Dongpo saw it, although he was anxious for his brother-in-law, but it was inconvenient to do it for him. Suddenly, he picked up a stone and threw it into a lotus jar filled with water. When Qin Shaoyou heard the sound of "plopping", he immediately understood and blurted out: "Throwing stones to break through the underwater sky." Su Xiaomei was overjoyed when she heard this, and hurriedly opened the door to greet the groom.

That's it.

Caixing Book Addiction came up and said: "Senior brother, I am enjoying listening to it, I still want to listen to it." ”

Zhenghuo couldn't talk anymore, it was getting late, so he ignored their request, and directly took Fang Yuanruo, who was listening to the relish, to open another room downstairs, then took the key and went upstairs with her, helped clean up the room for her, and after a while, the whole room was clean and dust-free.

Fang Yuanruo held Zhenghuo's hand and said, "It's enough to have your love, I'm not afraid of them bullying me." ”

"I'm sorry for making you feel wronged, you just came, they are a little repulsive to you, and after getting along with them for a long time, they will treat you like a sister. Zhenghuo told her that they weren't bad, they were just a little playful.

"It doesn't matter if they treat me well or not, I care about you, just ignore me. Fang Yuanruo stood, his head leaning on Zhenghuo's shoulder, he also gently held her in his arms and said, "In a few days, we can go on the road." ”