45.

The earth was already asleep, and the deserted streets were silent except for the gentle breeze blowing, except for the occasional barking of a dog or two. The pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info the ground is dark, as if the cold air has blocked the light. The dark night seemed to be smeared heavily on the sky, and there was not even a glimmer of stars. The night fog hit, and the midsummer night was a little cool, and there were few stars in sight in the hazy moonlight. The sky was not pure black, but a vast deep blue in the black, stretching into the distance, into the distance.

Xia Zishang felt so tired, she missed Li Yi so much, missed his gentleness, but for half a year, the more she missed him, the more she missed him, the more she couldn't see his face clearly.

Xia Zishang raised her left hand and looked at the long scar on her wrist, which made her miss Li Yi even more, the two people at that time were the most innocent, but why did things develop to this point, was she really wrong?

Xia Zishang came to the table, picked up an empty water cup, and looked at her right hand, those Taoist scars had been integrated into her body and become an indispensable part of her body, did she not cherish herself too much, Xia Zishang thought so.

'Bang', Xia Zishang didn't even think about it, held the empty water cup with his left hand, smashed it on the table, and the broken porcelain piece was imprinted into the palm of his hand, it hurt, but Xia Zishang only felt the pain for that second, and then he was numb, throwing away the broken porcelain piece in his hand, Xia Zishang picked up a piece of porcelain with his right hand and put it on his left hand.

"I once said that I would protect myself for you, but now I don't even have a chance to look at you, Yi, I'm tired, so tired, so tired, you'll forgive me, right, you must be able to feel my fear and helplessness now, I really have an effort to get out of here, but I can't, so you'll understand me, right?" Xia Zishang was talking to herself, while holding the porcelain piece and cutting her left wrist, and the scar that was injured for Li Yi became a cross, and after a while, bright red blood oozed from under the white skin.

My heart has no capacity to bear the burden, I feel insignificant, I feel a strange helplessness and helplessness. I am like a lonely boat in the sea, drifting aimlessly, I am like a withered grass in the cold wind, swaying helplessly.

The long night is coming, the long torment is about to begin, what should I do?

Gradually, Xia Zishang lost consciousness, she could only meet Li Yi in a dream, she could see Li Yi gently holding her hand, and then gently tapped the tip of her nose, listening to him tell about her strong love for herself, watching the beans and bean flowers playing in the garden, and watching the nurse holding the little golden bean and humming a ballad, what a beautiful picture it was, I once thought that it would be forever, but in my own thoughts, if I listened to Li Yi that day, would everything not happen, and I would still be happy.

"Zishang, Zishang, wake up, wake up" When the nursing home went to Zhang Zheng to report, he had just come out of the palace and hurried back, but as soon as he came back, the door was locked.

He saw Xia Zishang lying on the table, the blood on the table had already flowed, and the blood on his wrist began to coagulate, he didn't know if he came late, or if he was not in the Prime Minister's Mansion after taking over the task today, his Xia Zishang would be like this from now on, separated from his yin and yang.

When everyone retreated, it was already ugly, Zhang Zheng sat on the ground paralyzed, this was the second time he felt scared, the first time was when Xia Zishang gave birth to Li Yi, at that time he could watch her and guard her, but now what she thinks about every moment is either to run away or commit suicide, he can't indulge her in having a next time, and he will never allow a next time.

"Why? Is it in your heart that there will be no one else but him? Even if I pay the world, you will be by my side. I know you hate me, but I don't hate myself, since the day the boss rescued me back to Qingshui Village, they are people who cry with me, laugh together, eat together, fight and laugh together, for you, I betrayed them, condemned them, just for, for you, I just want you and to" Zhang Zheng sat on the pedal, holding his knees with both hands, looking at Xia Zishang blankly, and staring blankly at the wound that was placed outside and tied.

"Now, I have nothing but you now, I have nothing but you, I can't let you have anything, I can't, if even you leave me, what's the point of all this I do. How do you want me to live, you say I'm ruthless, but I see that your heart is more ruthless than mine, if you don't care about me, why did you save me with a big belly in the first place, why did you avenge my blood for me, why let me go from gratitude to heartbeat for you. If you know today's result, will you regret that you tried so hard to save me, and you almost lost two lives at that time?"

'Old Five, I just regard you as my own brother, I never thought that my feelings for you would change you into today's result, you asked if you knew today, would you be so desperate to save you, I would answer you without hesitation, I will still use all my ability to save you, but I really don't dare to see you now, you now make me feel scared, all these results are because of me alone, because I Xia Zishang, the third, The fourth child and those brothers who died because of me, how should I go down to Jiuquan to face them, I don't know how to face Shen Xifan, what do you want me to do'Xia Zishang was in a daze, and heard Zhang Zheng's choked cry, she didn't want to face him, but if she let herself hate him, she really couldn't do it, Xia Zishang didn't fall asleep, but she kept her eyes closed, listening to Zhang Zheng say what was in his heart, why did the tears in the corners of her eyes slip, she asked herself silently in her heart.

Since that day, Xia Zishang has not eaten at the same table with Zhang Zheng, but since this time, the two of them have never been together for three meals a day, except for the time of three meals, Zhang Zheng took her with him, and when he entered the palace, he dressed Xia Zishang as a subordinate, and when he got together with the ministers of the court, he dressed her as his own maid, and by Xia Zishang's side, Xia Zishang knew that Zhang Zheng would always arrange for a master of martial arts to follow them, because what Zhang Zheng was afraid of was that she would escape.