My name is Huang Jingyang, I was born on the fifth day of the fifth lunar month in 1992, and I am the eldest son in the family.

I was born in a small remote mountain village in the southwest. When I was born, my father was working outside the home, and before he was a year old, my mother followed my father to work. Many years later, children like me are called left-behind children.

In our rural areas, the first child has a daughter, and the second child can also be approved. If you have a first child like me, you are not allowed to have a second child. When I was a child, I was no different from any other child. I just heard from my grandparents that I love to cry at night. Crying doesn't seem to be a big problem. My grandmother used to say that I was supposed to be a girl, but I was born in the wrong place.

When he was five years old, he went to the mountains with his grandfather to herd cattle and retrieved a round piece of metal from the mountains. From that day on, my life started to get a little weird.

The piece of metal was so rusted that I couldn't see the words and patterns on it when I picked it up. When I got home, I rubbed off the rust on the outside, and the inside was yellow, and the pattern on it was very strange, and I looked at it, as if I had been sucked in by the pattern. From that day on, I became different from other children.

"Oh, how did Yangyang get a little weird lately? "Grandma was the first to notice my anomaly.

"Maybe I'm missing my mom and dad. I don't know how to come back all year round. raised a son, but also had to raise a grandson. This world, alas!" Grandpa didn't care very much.

I didn't seem to be able to hear a single sound at all. The pattern on the piece of metal moved in my eyes. I saw the endless sky above, the vast expanse of the earth, the thunder of the nine heavens, the breeze or the strong winds, the majestic mountains, the rivers, lakes and seas that were sometimes as calm as a mirror and sometimes the waves were turbulent, the water turned into gas, the gas condensed into water, and the water solidified into ice and snow, and the raging fires......

And all the sounds of life have disappeared from my mind. I couldn't feel my grandmother's anxious shaking of my body, and my grandfather's anxious shouting of my name I couldn't hear.

My parents, who had not been home for many years, also hurried back and carried me around to seek medical treatment, but I still couldn't feel it.

No one knows what's wrong with me.

Some people in the village said that I had fallen for evil, and my grandfather found that I was holding a piece of metal with some terrible patterns on it, and wanted to snatch the piece of metal from my hand.

Although I don't know anything about the outside world, I only love this piece of metal as if it were life. I cried and clung to the piece of metal.

My grandmother couldn't bear to see me crying like that, so she didn't allow my grandfather to snatch the piece of metal that I regarded as my life.

Mom and Dad took me to the county and provincial hospitals, and turned all the money I had earned over the years into a pile of useless tickets and a bunch of bills, but I still didn't wake up. Whether it is the county hospital or the provincial hospital, they all say that everything is normal in my body, but there are some problems with my brain.

I'm not sick at all, so how can the doctor explain it clearly?

My grandparents went around praying to God and Buddha, and found some yin and yang in the township to do things for me. How could these pretending to be ghosts be able to cure me? Half a year later, the family's savings were almost spent. My grandparents, my parents, and my parents were completely dead to me.

After the rice harvest in June, the family sat on the sunning floor to enjoy the coolness. I was still staring at the piece of metal in my hand.

"Let's have another one!" the dry tobacco stick in Grandpa's hand was sucked hard by him, and the flames flickered in the night.

Grandma looked at me distressedly and couldn't stop crying: "My good grandson, why did you become like this?"

Mom and Dad didn't speak.

After getting the double guns, my parents went south to work again. During the Spring Festival this year, they did not come back. The next year, they added a younger brother to me. Thinking that they were worried about being influenced by me, they never brought my brother back. After my brother was born, my grandmother went there to take people. Grandpa and I were left at home.

I can't respond to everything, but I can see all this, but in my eyes, it's like a story on the screen, and I'm just a spectator. It's a very strange feeling. But more often than not, my mind is still immersed in the pattern on that piece of metal. In the center of the piece of metal is a pattern of a yin and yang fish, which keeps turning and turning.

As soon as my grandmother left, all the farm work in the family was put on my grandfather alone, and in addition to doing farm work, my grandfather had to take care of me. I'm good at coping, I can eat, drink, sleep, and I only need my grandfather to say it, and I can do it.

Because I became like that, it was too wicked. No one in the village dared to let their own children play with me. Even my own parents don't dare to let my brother meet me, let alone others?

When my grandfather went to work in the fields, he put me on the ridge and put a small bench on it, so that I could sit on the ridge for half a day. Hold an umbrella with a stick next to me and give me shade. Then Grandpa went to work in the fields. Grandpa is a capable person in the village, and he is an expert in all kinds of tricks in the field.

When the wind blew, the tied umbrella was too windy and tilted to the side. The scorching sun was shining on me, but I didn't even notice it. Most of my eyes were fixed on the metal sheet in my hand.

Grandpa found out about the situation on my side after finishing the farm work, and hurriedly ran over, but was surprised to find that I didn't have anything at all, and there was no bead of sweat on my head. The clothes on his body were all cold, not at all like he was exposed to the sun. The ground I sat on was cool.

Grandpa was silent, put away the umbrella, and then pulled me up: "Go home, go home." ”

When people in the village meet, they always ask me about my situation: "I haven't spoken for two years, have you?"

"It's been two years!" Grandpa would always sigh.

I was in a very strange situation at that time. I felt a special connection between heaven, earth, thunder, wind, mountains, water, and fire. There is an energy that ties these forms together. It wasn't until later that I learned that this energy is called Yuanqi.

It's almost the New Year, and other people's homes are lively, but our house is deserted. At home, I was at home with my grandfather. Mom and Dad called during the Chinese New Year, saying that it was too cold in their hometown and that they were afraid that their younger brother would freeze. Mom and Dad are going to work overtime when they are preparing for the New Year, and Grandma has to take her younger brother too. The round-trip fare is expensive. That's why it's just me and my grandfather at home this year.

Grandpa wasn't very happy, but he never lost his temper in front of me. Just sullen smoking. Everyone in the village has smoked filter cigarettes, but Grandpa hasn't thrown away his dry tobacco stick.

"Second uncle, the seventh brother asked me to bring back two hundred yuan and let your old man buy some New Year's supplies. "The one who spoke was Huang Chenggao, the thirteenth uncle who worked in the south with my parents. Uncle Thirteen came back yesterday. Uncle Thirteen is my uncle who does not leave the five households. Uncle Thirteen and I are the same great-grandfather. There were sixteen of these uncles under the same great-grandfather. My dad is the seventh. I'm in the top 10 of my generation. There are more people in my generation, more than twenty.

Grandpa's face was not very good these days, but when he saw Uncle Thirteen coming, he barely had a smile on his face.

"Thirteen. Your seventh brother asked you to bring 200 yuan, and you didn't bring anything else for the child?"

"Second uncle, look at what you said. If Brother Qi brings something back, I can still embezzle it? I will bring 200 yuan and nothing else. Uncle Thirteen smiled.

"I didn't say you were corrupt. The two of them gave birth to a small one, and this big one is not a human being?"

"We were in a hurry, and we temporarily told my seventh brother. The seventh brother stuffed me with 200 yuan. What parent doesn't care about their son?" Uncle Thirteen obviously didn't tell the truth. I can't fool my grandfather. Uncle Thirteen glanced at me and said curtly, "Look at my memory, when I came out, I didn't expect to grab some candy for Yangyang." ”

"This child is a wretched child, and this sweet and bitter is the same in his mouth. Fortunately, he is like this, and he doesn't know who treats him badly. Grandpa's dry eyes became a little moist.

Uncle Thirteen was very embarrassed, exchanged a few casual greetings, and left in a hurry.

Because of me, neither adults nor children from the village come to our house. After all, a lively child, who would dare to come and get involved in such an evil thing. In the village, I was an ominous person.

At night, a whining sound came from Grandpa's room.

All these things are seen in my eyes and heard in my ears. But I have no joy and no sorrow. Coldly watched all this happen.

The white clouds are long, the distant mountains are green, and the flowing water is murmuring. It's all like a cloud of smoke.

The next day, early in the morning, my grandfather dragged me out into the street.

Although I do not respond to any cries from my fellow relatives, I will always do what they ask me to do.

My grandfather and I walked silently on the road, which always felt strange.

"Your grandson is really obedient, and he has come all the way, not noisy or noisy. If it were my grandson, he would have been flying all over the sky a long time ago. An old man on the same road couldn't help but say.

"That's what my grandson is. The smile on Grandpa's face was stiff.

At this time, someone next to the old man muttered a few words in the old man's ear, and the old man glanced at me with a strange look in his eyes.

Good things don't go out, and bad things spread thousands of miles. There are not many people in my country who don't know about my situation.