Mo Yan said in his essay "I in Beijing Autumn Afternoon":

"Since I've been forty years old, I don't have the patience to read a book from beginning to end, no matter how wonderful. Pen Fun Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 infoIt's a bad habit, I know, but it's hard to fix......"

I feel the same way. When people reach middle age, they are indeed more vague and numb, and they are not serious about anything except interests. No way, this is probably the law of nature. You can't take everything. You can't have both. Yuan Mei is a talented man, he writes books and lectures, and he is also hidden, so he should be more comfortable. However, in "Huang Sheng's Borrowing Books", while urging poor scholars to work hard, he also expressed the same emotion: "(After becoming an official) I went to the book, and I fell into a big place, and I was covered with scrolls when the worm was gray. ...... Then sigh at the single-mindedness of the borrower, and the years of youth are a pity!"

At the end of the day, it's still a loss of concentration.

In recent years, my embarrassment is also that I don't like to read, and I used to look forward to and like it so much, but now I hold it in my hand, flip through it casually, and insert it back into the bookshelf. The font is small, multi-volume, thick, and often hundreds of thousands of millions of words long, and it is even more difficult to provoke. I read "The Words of the Golden Vase Plum" for a year, but I haven't read it twenty times. I feel tacky, lazy, and realistic. In the past, I could read a book of four or five hundred thousand words of "Plainclothes Police" in half a day.

A set of four major copies of "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" was won in three or two days.

Not anymore, I can't read a few books a year. Whether it's history, novels, or biographical essays, they don't want to read it. It's not that I'm busy, it's not that I don't have new books, it's that I'm not in the mood. It gives me a headache after reading it for a while. It's boring. I don't think I'm going to be a writer anymore. You must know that many writers like to read and collect books when they are young, even to the point of madness, Sun Li, Mo Yan, Lu Yao, Lin Bai, Ji Xianlin, many, many more. After reading too much, I naturally picked up the pen and wrote. Many people still maintain the habit of reading and writing in old age.

Why am I so depressed?

Realistic, vulgar, lazy? I think it's more of a disappointment. Our expectations for literary writing were so high that they were completely out of touch with reality. One article is out and famous all over the world, flowers, applause, red carpet, "the book has its own golden house". The stars shine brightly, and all eyes are on it. Fame and fortune. What's it like to feed your family? It's not worth mentioning at all......

Is this different from the poor and pedantic Kong Yiji?

Now listening to the rain monk's house, the temples have stars. When people reach middle age, everything is off. Drink a little wine, brag and soon pass the time of the year. Forty is not confused, there is not so much youth to squander! Thinking about the enthusiasm and impulse of the past, writing, reading, and submitting articles day and night, I only feel ridiculous. Frankly speaking, not lying, not high-sounding, the main thing is that the cost of writing is relatively low: a pen, a bottle of ink, a manuscript paper, and a few broken books, after all, it is not difficult to get it? If you can't write it, no one will be fined, and if you don't do it, it's all up to you, as long as you can draw a thousand words, your face is thick enough, and you can boast of becoming a world famous if you don't understand bullshit!

Why don't there be a lot of people who work as painters, directors, and aviation pilots?

Why is there no one vying for the presidency?

I once read a short article by Chen Zhongzhong about "White Deer Plain", if I understand correctly, this well-deserved writer said this: Only at this age can I understand that writing for others is actually a kind of self-entertainment. Enjoyment. This is also my current attitude, since I can't make a profit and make money to support my family by writing, I can only reduce it to a side hustle or even a hobby. Written to play. Don't keep thinking about becoming famous and starting a family? What's more, the Internet is developed, there are many games, people watch movies, listen to songs, chat on the Internet, read e-books, drag racing, dance, and spend all day drinking, who will still stick to this crooked neck tree!

It seems to have lifted a thousand pounds of heavy burden all at once......

I'm so much more relaxed. (To be continued.) )