Since July, a total of 130,000 words have been updated, which is not much, just 10,000 words more than the required number of words for full attendance. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info

Many book friends say that there are so few updates, and they don't bother to catch up on this update.

Compared to before, there are indeed fewer updates, and I don't want to quibble, in fact, it's just one word, tired.

The body is tired, and the heart is also tired.

Since last month, I have had a condition in my body, and it has become more and more severe this month.

Then I checked the lumbar disc herniation, which caused sciatica.

Whether you sit or lie down, it hurts, and it's within the range of tolerability, but it's just uncomfortable.

The doctor said that I couldn't sit for a long time, and I could only smile bitterly.

For physical reasons, plus a few other factors, I started to suffer from severe insomnia again.

I used to be unable to sleep before 2 o'clock in the middle of the night, but now I can't sleep until 9 a.m. for nearly 2 weeks in a row.

Insomnia all night long, complete chaos of work and rest, dizzy head all day long, I want to sleep all the time, paralysis is obviously sleepy to death, and I can't sleep.

Sitting in front of the computer, I couldn't get a chapter out for a few hours, and then it started to hurt again.

I want to get angry, but I don't know who to shoot.

I want to curse, but I don't know who to blame.

Throughout the month of July, I was in a consistently low mood, locking myself in the house and not wanting to talk to anyone, including the comfort of some friends.

Depression, irritability, all kinds of negative emotions, just not happy.

At the beginning, the code word was to make money and make yourself happy and fulfilling.

But now I feel only boredom.

I wanted to finish the book after I finished writing it, and I felt that I had no desire to continue writing, so I wanted to end it quickly and let myself be completely quiet.

But the story was not finished, and in the end I chose to force myself to continue writing.

Seriously, there is no state at all, and every day is torture.

I don't know how to make myself happy, and I don't know how to make my readers happy.

I don't know what to do, and now my daily routine is mechanical and repetitive.

I don't say this to ask for pity, but to explain one thing to everyone:

I have a work ethic, but I'm not a machine after all.

I'm working on the update, but if you're really powerless, please understand.

I didn't sleep all night, but I only held back one chapter, smiling bitterly, but I couldn't laugh at all.

Understandable, thank you.

If you don't understand, so be it.

I'm really tired, and I don't want to say any more. (To be continued.) )