I have to regret to tell you an unfortunate news, this is the last funny article of "Liangcheng".

Yesterday, a young reader rebuked me in a private message with righteous words: "Dongdong-chan, can't you be a quiet handsome comparison?"

But when I saw the classmate in the corner of the wall who looked at death as if he were at home and had a crooked mouth, he pointed to the poor monk's nose and scolded: "Ah-po-yi!"

Security guards, stretch the little deflated calf that vomits inside me! Kick it to death! Hold it back to save my face!

"Zombie King" is a very boring and awkward story.

The so-called stories, of course, are all virtual, and they are all fictional in order to satisfy the reader's senses and psychology, after all, most writers first consider firewood, rice, oil and salt.

If it is a time-traveling article, you can imagine yourself Guan Gong and Lei Gong, or you can fantasize about yourself as Sun Wukong and Lei Feng. You can travel through "Journey to the West" to play double flying with spider spirits and white bone spirits, and you can go to "Three Kingdoms" to find Sun Lang and Zhou Lang to play three Ps, the author writes coolly, and the reader looks cool, isn't it?

It's a pity that "Liangcheng" is not a time-traveling text, and it is very unpleasant to watch, just like ...... It's like when you're enjoying a good meal, and you suddenly find yourself swallowing a green-headed fly, and you feel very uncomfortable, don't you?

When you describe a wicked person who has done bad things and lost his conscience, he usually uses the words "birds and beasts are inferior", but you have thought about using birds and beasts as a metaphor for human beings, is it too much to look down on human beings?

The poor monk has lived in the mountains since he was a child (he was born in Orion, not a cave man on the top of the mountain), and he has seen many birds and animals who help each other, respect and love each other, and never abandon each other. Even if it is a Wangxing, it will have a good time chasing its tail and will entertain itself for a morning, and even if it is a meow, it will be very happy and will play happily for an afternoon......

And what about us humans?

We look at ourselves, we all take a mirror, or pee on ourselves, what are we doing?

Cutting down trees, littering, polluting the air, destroying the environment, spitting, farting and urinating, sleeping in other people's beds, hugging other people's wives, beating other people's children......

- Human beings usually base their happiness on the suffering of others.

Sometimes, the indifference, cruelty, and shamelessness of our humans have reached the point where the beasts are ashamed!

- Somewhere in the south, a girl was run over by a car twice on the street, and 18 passers-by turned a blind eye to it and did not save it;

——In a county in Hei Province, a pregnant woman hunted for her husband and lured Xiaohu, a young nurse who kindly sent her home, for her husband to have sex and conspire to kill her;

——In a certain city on Treasure Island, an unemployed man has ravaged his three biological daughters for a long time, and he is ashamed to say that the three daughters are his lovers in his previous life, and forced them not to wear clothes at home, so that he can vent his animal desires at any time......

There should be too many examples of such outrageous and embarrassing beasts, right?

If you can, please give us a soak of urine or a mirror, and always remind yourself, so that the rest of our lives can be more peaceful, and then more at ease.

Uh, what's inside, security guard, it's almost done, why are you beating this force like this bear? You're so affordable, and you're too ruthless, you see this swollen face, like a pig's head, well, sit there honestly and listen to the lecture, hold back and spit on the ground...... This tiger thing is too much of an animal......

The cover character of the fourth issue of "Jianghu Gossip": Yan Bofu

Moderator: First of all, congratulations to Mr. Yan on his ascension to the throne, what is your outlook for the later stage of your scientific and technological research and development project "Zombie Army"?

Winner: Our "Zombie Gate" Group has started the second phase of research and development work, and does not hesitate to invest huge manpower and financial resources to build the "Zombie Army" into a combat team that is even better than the "Chengguan Force";

Moderator: It is reported that "Liangcheng TV" has finalized your participation in the large-scale competitive variety show "Run, buddy!", I wonder what you think of your other six participating stars?

Winners: Hehe, captain Leng Beicheng English logging tired, "Cheetah" Luo Zhengxi is riddled with scandals, "Big Black Bull" Andong Ye has no brains, Liu Shenghan, who has just finished getting married, is not good at Mandarin, Chen Yuanguang, who can punch and kick twice, knows how to smirk, "Hold it baby" is a vase in the cloud, and I are not on the same level at all.

Moderator: Please calm your anger, old man, as the old saying goes, career and family are in a dilemma, what do you have to say about some of your children's immoral behavior?

Winner: Here, I take this platform to sincerely apologize to the society and to the Great Song Dynasty, because I am too focused on work on weekdays, neglectful of the children of the family, unable to raise children, father and son, loyal brothers are still young, they are just children, everyone has a chance to be forgiven, please give them a big hug......

(The old man burst into tears, the interview was interrupted, and the host intimately handed over tissues.) ）

Summary of hot topics in this issue:

"Hunan female writer Yan Shaoqing's latest masterpiece "My Boyfriend is a Zombie" won the gold medal of the "Liangcheng Award"; the writer said that all the prize money was donated to the "Small Animal Growth and Protection Association"

"Yesterday, three college students travelers unfortunately lost contact in the "Blasphemy Peak", the search team has entered the area to carry out search and rescue work, the person in charge of the six doors said: There are often zombies in the area, and the chances of survival of the victims are not large.

"Internet celebrity Yan Shaoqing and his rumored boyfriend, Beijing Kuoshao Cai Yu have officially broken up, Yan Shaoqing emptied all Weibo, and some careful netizens found that the two had canceled their mutual attention, and the two fans have begun to tear apart"

Liangcheng "Troublesome Dictionary" recording site

Guest Cai Yu is ready to answer the ......

Leng Xiaoya: Are you ready?

Cai Lu: Ready.

Leng Xiaoya: Okay. Please choose the best place to snipe the beast slaves: A. Yanjia Village, B. Yanting Peak, C. Baizhilin, D. Yan Luota

Cai Yu: I want to call for help.

Leng Xiaoya: Yes, who to call?

Cai Lu: My daddy.

Leng Xiaoya: Okay. Hey, is that Mr. Cai Jing? Hello, your stupid son is going to talk to you. You only have 30 seconds.

Cai Lu: Hey. Daddy. The best places to snipe beast slaves are A. Yanjia Village, B. Yanting Peak, C. Bai Zhilin, and D. Yan Luo Tower. Which one to choose?

Cai Jing: Hey, hey—the mobile phone signal is not good, you wait a while, I'll try it on the rooftop. (Toot-toot-toot-)

Cai Lu: Hey, ??? old thing, I told you a long time ago that you can't buy stalls.

Leng Xiaoya: Okay. It's time. Is it decided.

Cai Lu: Yes. Then b.

Wang Xiaoya (affectionate): Are you sure?

Cai Lu (taking a deep breath): Sure.

Leng Xiaoya (affectionate): Haven't you changed?

Cai Lu (takes a deep breath): Don't change it.

Leng Xiaoya: Okay, so is the answer right? Let's watch an advertisement first, and the answer will be revealed for you after the advertisement, and friends outside the venue can participate in Weibo interaction, and you will have the opportunity to get a beautiful gift "zombie tooth" and "zombie powder" provided by "Zombie Gate"——

(Cai faints...... ）

Cai Yu is extremely talented, both civil and military, wise and brave, with dreams, ability, personal style, leadership temperament, dedication, sense of responsibility, and a huge "Power Gang" support fan group...... This product was originally a gold medal Xiaokai that everyone envied, and it was a wealthy family that the Northern Song Dynasty and a kabuki wild model vied to marry.

Cai Lu was trapped by love, and Yan Qinggui explained: "I know that the most difficult thing in the world is the word 'love'." I see that the virtuous brother has been thinking about tea and dinner recently, and he is depressed, so he must have had emotional problems. Today, Brother Fool prepares a little wine, and plans to open an issue of 'Zombie Door Night Talk' for Brother Xian - late at night, turn on the radio, and 'Zombie Door Night Talk' will solve various emotional and physical problems for you...... It's a place where you can unleash yourself and speak your mind...... I hope to light a lamp, open a window, and welcome a new tomorrow for you! Hello everyone, I am your old friend, Green Ghost. ”

Then he took Ya's words, poured Ya's wine, and after Cai Yu drank and vomited once, he lay on the ground and told the story of the goddess Shaoqing with tears in his eyes, Yan Qinggui pinched his fingers and said: "Brother Xian seems to be the birthday of November 23 in the second year of Xining, well, it should be the Pisces of the pig...... Damn, guess what? My cousin Shaoqing is a Virgo who belongs to the rabbit! Pigs and rabbits are a perfect match, when I was in junior high school in 'Hunan No. 4 Middle School', I often did a kind of application problem called 'Pig and Rabbit in the same cage' math application problem, which shows that Pig and Rabbit have always been a family...... What? Is it 'chicken and rabbit in the same cage'? It's almost the same! And hey, Pisces and Virgo symbolize the 7-7 day house opposite, ah? What do you mean by asking me? I don't know! I came from Baidu! Anyway, the Pisces man and the virgin girl are a natural pair!

Then when Uncle Yan heard about this big truth, he immediately made a decision to marry his daughter Yan Shaoqing to Xiao Cai!

So Cai Yu regarded the big matchmaker Yan Qinggui as the second most important person in his life, and introduced Yan Qinggui to his big father, so that Yan Qinggui was covered by Cai Jing, and he had the huge resources of the "Green Zombie Gate" in his hands, and it didn't take long for Yan Qinggui to be promoted and raised, become the general manager, become the CEO, marry Bai Fumei, and go to the peak of life, thinking about it, it was a little exciting.