"My Close Goddess" is Lao Hong's first book on the Baidu Literature Vertical Chinese Network, and it is also the third book after Lao Hong's Baidu Duoku Literature Network "Yan Xiu Tiandi" and "Yan Jiao Long Desire" experienced by Lao Hong in Baidu Literature were put on the shelves, which can be regarded as Lao Hong's transformation work.

Lao Hong is very grateful to the shadow of my editor-in-charge for his care and support over the past year, although I was not familiar with it at first, it has taken more than a year to become familiar with it now.

At the same time, I would also like to thank Baidu Literature and Zongheng Chinese.com for giving Lao Hong a space to show himself, and thank book lovers for their various support such as collecting, subscribing, and rewarding book reviews and messages!

Lao Hong did not write a novel tonight, but reviewed his life experience in the past 34 years, which can be regarded as a testimonial on the shelves and a kind of feedback to book friends!

Lao Hong's ancestors were Hakka people, during the Qing Dynasty's "Huguang Filling Sichuan" period, from Mei County, Guangdong Province, now Meizhou Mei County, there was a name called Jiaying Prefecture at that time to move to Sichuan, and finally settled in the current Mianzhu City, and then the grandfather moved from the Hong family compound in Guanyu Town to the town that is now six kilometers away from the county seat.

The reason why Lao Hong wants to say this is mainly because Lao Hong and Hong Xiuquan, the king of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, are really the same clan, although he is a person born in Huaxian County, Guangdong, Huadu District, Guangzhou today, but his ancestors also moved from Mei County to Hua County during the Kangxi period.

And Lao Hong's older ancestor was Hong Hao, a famous anti-Jin minister who was as famous as Yue Fei during the Southern Song Dynasty.

Well, Lao Hong, who has a relationship with two famous people in history, is actually a person with a great sense of family honor. But Hong Chengchou, who has been a high-ranking official in the Ming Dynasty and Qing Dynasty for two generations, is also my fellow clan, just because he and Hong Xiuquan are also from the same clan......

Well, the glory or unbearable past of the ancestors or fellow ancestors has passed, now let's talk about Lao Hong's ordinary life, but there are also a lot of insights, after all, he is already 34 years old!

In the second lunar month of the 80th year, I must have come to this world when spring was just coming.

I'm still quite healthy when I was born, as you can see from the photos of me when I was one year old. It's a pity that the photo is no longer there now, and at that time I was tiger-headed, meaty, and very cute.

At that time, my father was a well-known carpenter, industrious and simple, with good craftsmanship and a flexible mind, so he could find money, and the family conditions could be said to be very good in the whole town.

My grandfather was a very hard-working farmer, he was responsible for selling oil at that time, and he was also engaged in construction, so he made the family very well, and the money he earned often bought peanuts and fruits for my father to eat.

When my father was five years old, my grandfather was repairing the storage room of the brigade, which was still a grass hut at that time, and he fell from the roof of the storage room and fell to his death.

After that, my mother-in-law recruited another man who was younger than him, and he was my second grandfather, who passed away in 2010.

This grandfather was educated, graduated from high school at that time, proficient in calligraphy and abacus, had no labor, and had not done any heavy work, and was the boss of the largest landlord family in the town in the past.

Later, they had another daughter, and this grandfather was extremely harsh on my father, and he secretly ate anything delicious for himself or for his daughter.

And this grandfather still wanted my father to change his surname, but my mother-in-law insisted that she didn't change it!

Fortunately, my mother-in-law is a very capable person, and she is doing farm work, housework, breeding, etc., and my mother-in-law protects my father, so that my father can live smoothly until he is a teenager.

When I was 12 years old, my mother-in-law brought a rooster and 10 pounds of rice and insisted on sending my father to learn the carpenter's trade, and at the age of 14 my father began to do carpentry work on his own.

Later, my father wanted to find a partner, but it was this grandfather who hindered him, or my mother-in-law insisted, and finally married my more beautiful mother. When the family was separated, I still divided the debt of a few hundred yuan to my parents, and there were only two thatched houses at that time.

But my father has the ability, so the days are getting better and better day by day, and the house has been repaired several times, and the area occupied is also the largest in the entire courtyard, and at that time, it was a grandfather in the courtyard of the Hong family, and several other cousins were jealous of my father.

Since the 80s, my father has become a 10,000-yuan household, and many things were bought by my family first, such as TV dramas, fans, bicycles, etc.

But my mother had stomach problems and anemia at the time, and she had to spend a few hundred yuan to more than a thousand yuan a year to get medical treatment and take supplements, so she didn't have much savings at that time.

In a blink of an eye, when I was more than two years old, the grandfather took advantage of people's inattention and fed me dried radish, sauerkraut, etc., and finally I got spleen and stomach disease due to poor digestion, which was actually enteritis.

At the worst time, I was sent to Deyang People's Hospital, where I had diarrhea anytime and anywhere, and I could say that I was dying everywhere.

At that time, the nurse was very fierce, the nurse was very upset when she saw the dirty everywhere, scolded my mother for not cleaning up, and had everything in her harsh words, my mother was so bitter, tears rolled in her eyes.

So, I've always hated the people of Deyang! It's the same now, there's no need, I'm not going to Deyang!

God finally didn't accept me, but Deyang People's Hospital didn't want me to be with them, and I was taken home.

When I was more than three years old, my grandmother, an ordinary old woman who had come from the old society, took me to Yuquan Town, boiled porridge every day, and then chewed it again in her mouth, and fed it mouth-to-mouth, which was more than a year, until I was five years old, and then sent me back.

I still know what my grandmother looked like, even though she has been away from me for more than twenty years.

In the past, my grandfather was a rich peasant, and his family had hundreds of acres of land, and there were a lot of silver dollars, jewelry, etc., but in the end, my grandfather was basically defeated by eating, drinking, prostituting and gambling, and he was really a loser!

I still remember that I was in my grandmother's three-acre bamboo forest, following a group of lively children to catch bamboo cows, dragonflies, green bulls, sand dates, persimmons, and I followed stupidly, without speaking, with dull eyes, this is how I was many years ago.

When I was more than five years old, my father sent me to the brigade for a year of kindergarten. Within two days of delivery, my father asked me to go by myself, I was very obedient, so I went by myself, at that time there were no cars, motorcycles, and even bicycles, so it was not as complicated as the current traffic situation, so I was also relieved.

But one day, it seemed to be summer, and the rain was a little heavy. I cried and asked my father to send me to school, but my father took a bamboo pole to drive me away, I was afraid that my father would beat me, so I wiped away my tears, held an umbrella, and staggered down the muddy path.

The year of kindergarten was not in vain, at the age of six, because he could count from one to one hundred, so he was admitted by the then head teacher of the town elementary school, Mr. Zeng.

In the past few years, I still have enteritis several times a year, and sometimes my stomach hurts so much that I can say I am dead. So, I've never been afraid of pain since I was a child, because I'm used to it!

My academic performance was always in the top 3 until grade 4. But he still doesn't like to talk, and he's very shy and doesn't like to shout. If you lock me up in my own house, I can play on my own for a few days without getting bored.

At that time, I liked to read comic books, villain books, fairy tales, story kings, etc.

At the same time, I also like to use stones and wood to put on chalk maps and engage in two or three or four family wars! This hobby continued until the second year of junior high school.

At the same time, at that time, I also liked to watch ants move insects in my yard, I used water and lit candles to flood and burn, but now I think about it, it is probably because my physique is too weak, and then I was bullied by my classmates, so I took revenge on weaker animals......

My mother and I still treated the sick every year, and exchanged all the money my father found for medicine and supplements. Since I was in school, I used to eat a bowl of milk mixed with milk powder and two eggs every morning, and I had meat to eat every week.

In the fourth grade, the homeroom teacher was replaced by Deng Yingqiong, a teacher who lives in the southwest. In the fourth grade, I was 10 years old, and my health was getting better day by day. People slowly began to talk more, and they began to take the initiative to call people, and they also became the leader of the Young Pioneers.

My academic performance has always been very good, and at that time, I went to the supply and marketing cooperatives to buy books, "One Hundred Song Poems", which is the earliest poetry book. When I have money, I bought the comic book "Romance of the Sui and Tang Dynasties", bought two copies of it, and finally bought it all after the Spring Festival for more than half a year.

At that time, a book was a dime or two, and I still spent all my usual pocket money on it. But just like that, my parents didn't allow me to buy it, because it had nothing to do with studying, and they were afraid that I would affect my learning. I wasn't allowed to watch TV, which is funny now. However, this is how people at that time did not open.

I bought the book, but I still carried it in my arms during the day, and I didn't dare to take it out. Since I was assigned a room at the age of seven, I began to sleep alone. So at night, I buried my head in the quilt and watched with a flashlight, and the intoxicating taste is still unforgettable. On several occasions, my mother also arrested me a few times.

In the summer, he catches hemp fish and stone Gangqiu with his hands in the shooting river, makes a needle to shoot fish, and also fishes.

At that time, there were so many fish, and you could catch them by making a fishing rod with a bamboo pole. I also went to drill the Yin River between the Sheshui River and the fish seed station with the people in the yard, and I was still very afraid for the first time, and I was not afraid of drilling too much.

My parents didn't allow me to take a bath, and once when I came home in the afternoon, my father was at home, and picked at my body, and it was white to know that I had taken a bath, and he took a big stick to beat me, and my mother-in-law stopped me, but I was still beaten on the back with red bars and blood.

When I was in the fifth grade of elementary school, I liked to make up my own lyrics and tunes, but unfortunately I didn't record them at the time.

In my previous and later sessions, I didn't test my ideology, morality and nature, but our 92nd class just took the test, my mathematics 100 and Chinese 98, if you follow these two subjects, then it is in Mianzhu County Middle School, because there are still those two subjects, so only Tumen Middle School was examined.

When I was still in the second grade of primary school, my mother-in-law and grandfather opened a consignment store on the brigade to help the supply and marketing cooperatives sell things and earn a 3% share.

In the first month of the year of graduation, my mother-in-law had bone cancer and had been found to have spread cancer cells, and my father poured everything he had in the first half of the year, borrowed a few thousand, and spent more than 10,000 to close to 20,000 yuan, and sent my mother-in-law to a military hospital in Chengdu, but it was still not cured, and my mother-in-law left me forever.

In the months when my mother-in-law came back from surgery, my grandfather wanted to give my mother-in-law sleeping pills several times, because he didn't want to take care of it anymore, in fact, most of the time my mother was taking care of it, but sometimes he had to do housework, so he asked him to take care of it.

At that time, because my mother-in-law was sick, I didn't open a consignment store, and the Times store was lost more than 3,000 at that time, and it was still my father's return!

And this money is actually mainly lent to my aunt by my grandfather, which is used by his daughter to build a house, and my grandfather's own expenses!

My aunt, on the other hand, committed suicide by drinking pesticides in the first year of my mother-in-law's death because of a quarrel with her husband!

The reason was only because she went to the woman's husband's house with a divorced woman to get clothes, and when the woman came back, she quarreled with her current man, which involved my aunt, and then my aunt and her man had a quarrel!

Although my aunt is a half-brother, she is also my father's only relative, and my father took my aunt to gastric lavage, but she still couldn't save her!

Now I have a nephew, my cousin, who I haven't known for many years!

After my mother-in-law's funeral and burial before the summer vacation, many relatives took me to Mangzikan to take a bath in the afternoon.

I unconsciously arrived in the middle of the Longma River, as soon as I stepped into the air, the whole person was surrounded by water, and I couldn't swim back, I poured a lot of water, shouted a few times, looked at the people who were a little far away from me, and slowly couldn't shout, my eyes were already dim, and my brain was already groggy due to lack of oxygen.

However, this time, the Grim Reaper still didn't take me. Eventually, some relatives saw me and rescued me.

The whole childhood was a gray-black era. There was no laughter, only pain and silence.

From Monday to Saturday, you can't watch TV, you can't bathe in the river, you can't play with other children, you can't play with other children, you can't learn to ride a bicycle, you can't buy anything that has nothing to do with studying...... It can be said that there is nothing but learning.

This kind of life directly led to the deepening of my rebellion after leaving the monitoring of my parents. In the later middle school years, it will be difficult to be a good child who listens to his parents for everything.

But at that time, I already had an aesthetic view of beautiful women, and I also liked a girl at that time.

At that time, the teacher asked us to form a study support group not far from each other, do homework together, go to your house today, go to my house tomorrow, and drink Guozhen for the first time, must be something that I thought was very high-end at the time!

In other words, at that time, the conditions of our two men and two girls were very good, but my family had no savings at that time because of my mother-in-law's illness, plus my mother and my illness, but we both admired my father's ability!

When I was in the sixth grade of elementary school, I visited the fish station and two classmates, and when I got home, I wrote an essay of more than 10,000 words, from 6 p.m. to 1 a.m. the next morning.

I thought I could get the first place, but the teacher said that it was too long to write, and if it was 3,000 words, it would definitely be the first, but I only got the second!

But just because of this time, and reading under the bed in the past, my eyes gradually became bad! In the second year of junior high school, I finally became short-sighted.

In September of '92, when it was finally time to sign up for new students at Tumen Middle School, my mother took me to school on a bicycle. After the handover, the mother left.

At night, I lay in bed and couldn't sleep for a long time. The thought of being able to be separated from my parents did not feel scared and lost, but I felt an inexplicable excitement. This excitement comes from the heart, and now I know that this is actually the germination of ambition, an ambition to take charge of one's own destiny.

Saturday afternoon was a holiday, and I walked fast. From Tumen, I learned the antler weir and then followed the Sheshui River to my home.

At that time, the riverside of the Sheshui River was very desolate, but I was not afraid, humming the song I made up randomly, and returned home.

When I got home, I told my mother about the strange things I had done at school, what classes I had taken, and what people I had met.

My mother always told me not to deal with those who spend money, to be with people who study well, to study hard, not to be lazy.

In short, if you want to be like this, don't be like that, a lot of words, I listened to it at the time and was still very acceptable.

One Sunday afternoon I went to school, walked out into the streets of the town, and met my father. My father was talking to an uncle.

This uncle is very capable, and finally became the deputy secretary of the Deyang Municipal Party Committee.

When he finished speaking, an uncle asked, "Brother Hong, is this your doll?"

Father nodded yes.

My uncle called me into his car, and it was the first time I had been in a four-wheeled car except for a bus and a tractor.

Sitting in a white jeep, I walked around the town to the school. After getting out of the car, looking at the surprised expressions of the students at the school gate, I felt the feeling of the stars holding the moon for the first time. It's an illusory feeling, but it's undeniably useful.

Some of my classmates asked me, "Who sent you here?" I said it was my uncle, and I was very proud. The hazy ambition once again slowly sent out a second small bud.

During the winter vacation of the first year of junior high school, my father and I, as well as more than 10 adults and children from four families in their construction team, were preparing to travel to Yunnan at public expense.

Departed from town to Mianzhu and then took a ride in Deyang to Chengdu. In the evening, I had a table of whole fat sausage banquet at the Tang Fat Sausage Hotel in Chengdu.

There are more than 20 dishes of braised fat sausage, stewed fat sausage, roasted fat sausage, white molasses fat sausage, fried fat sausage, and steamed fat sausage, which are really dazzling, the intestines are tempting, salivating, eating, the aftertaste is endless, and the burp is the fragrance of the fat intestine. In the end, more than 200 pieces were eaten. I felt too expensive, and said I wouldn't eat it again.

At night, I got on the train and couldn't sleep! The first time I took the train, I was very excited, but I had to get motion sickness.

After sitting for a day and a night, looking out of the car window, it was very desolate and there were many mountains. It took a long time to see people, all of whom were the kind of people who wore very dirty sheepskins, and they said that they were Yi people, very barbaric, and they were only born to take a bath once in their lives.

On the third day, I finally arrived in Kunming and got off the train, my head was groggy and my legs were weak.

At that time, because I was teaching homework to a certain girl, I fell in love with a girl who was about my age, but a grade younger than me, and she was very cute and beautiful at that time, and I liked her for a few years.

But at that time, her family was much better than mine, and the environment at that time did not allow anyone to like whom, so I didn't dare to say it.

I only learned to ride a bicycle during the summer vacation of the first year of junior high school, in fact, it is very simple, as long as people are not afraid of falling, but because parents did not allow it in the past!

But at that time, he was still drawing a map in the hall and setting up a formation, and his bare feet stepped on a screw, which was at least five centimeters, and pierced through the sole of his right foot into the soles of his feet.

I drove the screws out in circles, then disinfected them with liquor, and dried the blood stains in the hall with a mop, without telling anyone......

But unfortunately, the next day my mother was going to Mianzhu, and I rode her bicycle to Mianzhu, and I had to pedal a steep slope on the way, and the road at that time was only an asphalt road, which was very difficult......

I haven't told my parents about my foot injury, but fortunately I didn't infect myself, otherwise I would definitely be disabled!

On a Sunday in the third year of junior high school, when I was hooking the charcoal ash in the coal stove at that time, I put two small red briquettes between my feet in slippers and made a few big blisters.

And that's nothing, the next day in PE class shooting, I used to shoot very accurately, but because my foot was burned, my shooting skills became worse!

In the last few days of the 15-year-old middle school review class, there was no school boss at that time, so in the past, those second children wanted to be the boss, so they fought every day, and more and more people fought, and finally hit me.

I used to have a big brother covering me, but it's gone. The first night, I slept in a daze and was slapped by a man who said I had stolen his book and sold it, but I didn't get up, and finally I fell asleep in a daze, and nothing happened.

On the second day of vacation, I was besieged by more than 10 people, and I finally resisted and fought with the leader, but these people hit me with benches and chairs, and my nose and face were swollen, and my back was full of wounds, I was very strong, I didn't cry or fear pain, there was no sadness, only monstrous hatred.

The classmates who were together in the elementary school in this town pretended to read and didn't say a word, but then a classmate from the outer class yelled, and those people stopped.

When I got home, my parents would definitely ask when I saw it, but when I went to school, the school didn't care, saying that it was already considered graduation after the graduation exam.

If it were now, it wouldn't be like this!

I thought about shouting a group of people to fight back, but in the end I didn't do that. However, I have learned a truth: people who are good are bullied, and people who are weak will also be bullied. Especially, when the person who protected you is gone!

When I was a freshman in high school, I saw the girl I liked in the first year of junior high school, she was in the third year of junior high school, and I was paying attention to her many times doing morning exercises. I met her every year when the management of the construction team organized a trip to Deyang to see the lantern festival, but I didn't confess until the sophomore year of high school, I wrote a letter to her, when she was studying at the normal secondary school, but in the end she told her father, and her father told my father again, and was criticized, saying that you are not allowed to like girls!

In fact, at that time, I knew that I was fantasizing, the conditions of other people's families, my uncle was already the leader of the county at that time, and his father was my father's superior, and the family was richer than mine, and what did I have? I have no ability, and the turtle wants to eat swan meat!

Later, she went to work in the government and married my best classmate and good friend when I was a child, and she got married in another yard.

This good friend was very poor at studying back then, but his father went from being a tax collector to a deputy mayor at that time......

At that time, I was still studying, and my father actually had the opportunity to be a government official, but he refused because he didn't have a diploma......

The officials were nice to my father, and said that if I had studied a few years earlier, I would have no problem getting the government.

It's a pity that after they went to the county, my father gradually stopped contacting other people, maybe he thought that Gao Gao couldn't climb high, and people came back to Banqiao to inspect or do something, and asked him for dinner, but he didn't go! He didn't ask people for help when there was something! People said that he would do something, and the government supported him, but he didn't do it!

My father is too strong and strong, and at the same time, he is not a person who is very good at dealing with high-ranking officials and building relationships!

After all, he was born as a carpenter, and he suffered a lot since he was a child, so he always wanted to rely on himself, on his own hands, and did not want anyone's favor. Ignoring interpersonal relationships, I just like to mix in a small circle, and I don't know how to tie people!

In the second half of the first year of high school, there were two weeks in a row, and a classmate went out to play mahjong at night over the wall in the tea shop diagonally opposite. One hundred yuan was quickly lost, and I only ate dry rice for nothing, and they each gave me some food.

This is to watch mahjong, and my parents are not allowed to play it. I was very curious, so I went down the wrong path.

The first semester of high school was less than the second year of high school, and I suddenly had a tall hair.

In the first semester of the second semester of high school, I sat at the end with a girl, and at that time I was the only one sitting with her male and female classmates, and she was quite beautiful at that time, but it was no longer beautiful to hold a class reunion two years after graduation. At that time, I was not open-minded, I didn't understand other people's hints, and I was too naïve at that time, so I gave it to my in-laws.

In the second year of high school, I played with a classmate on the second floor. He didn't pay attention to knocking my glasses off the bottom of the building. I shouted at him to compensate, but he just didn't. I went to a friend in my first year of high school and asked him to come forward and call the shots for me. As a result, people are not false at all.

I also understood a lifelong truth: people must have their own group of people, and they must have strength. And this group of people only listens to themselves, or only believes in themselves, and the others can't shout. No matter what time it is, no matter where it is.

It was also in the morning of the first half of the sophomore year of high school, another Fei Tou attacked me from behind just after my exercise, and pressed me over with his knee on the playground, just injuring the tail vertebrae, I only felt that it was dark in front of me, and it took more than ten minutes to gradually see the light.

A few people helped me back to the dormitory, but I didn't even go to the teacher to tell my parents about it a few years ago. As soon as the tail vertebrae hurt, it hurt for two or three years, until the age of twenty. In fact, this kind of major event that endangers the health of one's life, it is indeed naïve to prepare a case at that time, not to be a hero!

At that time, because of my good literary talent, there was a pretty girl in the second half of the sophomore liberal arts class who liked me very much, and she was supposed to sit in the seat behind me, and she sat with me after class and chatted to read the prose and poetry I wrote, and her face was red, but unfortunately I didn't open up at that time, and I thought that the male classmate who helped me say a word in junior high school also liked her, so I didn't continue, and the male classmate never caught up.

Speaking of which, in the whole high school era, because of his literary talent, there were two beautiful girls who liked him, and there were a few ordinary ones, and the ugly ones......

In the second half of my sophomore year of high school, I became the editor-in-chief of the literary club and edited a book, but after the earthquake in 2008, my hometown was shattered and is no longer there.

In order to compile this book, I invited a few students who carved words to eat sorbet and eat, and I had a kind of enthusiasm for work that would not stop until the goal was reached. Carved it and handed it to the teacher. In the final analysis, the teacher asked the teacher of the computer, typed it out, and then printed it. Other presidents and vice presidents are busy studying, but I'm doing this, you say, am I not doing my job?

In the second half of the sophomore year of high school, I married a few brothers, beat my in-laws, and then went to Brother Liu Peng's place to watch the video with a few and sometimes a dozen friends at any time, and it was even worse in the first half of the third year of high school.

Play outside, watch movies, eat and drink at any time, today you please, tomorrow I please. Especially in the third year of high school, say to the doorman, go out to play until midnight, and when you come back, you will shout, and it will be opened for you.

At that time, it was indeed a good year. Time is wasted. If you are willing to learn some technology now, this is practical, and it will never go out of style.

In the first half of the third year of high school, the early autumn art evening. A friend of mine and I climbed together to watch three sophomore girls dance. I said that one was pretty, and he said this one was pretty. I said it's that pretty. A few days later, a friend came to me and told me that he had done that.

A few days later, I asked someone to inquire, but my friend didn't get that at all. I called my friend and I said, 'It's my turn.'" I'm sending flowers and love letters, and as long as class is over, I'll call someone to keep an eye on me to see if anyone is arguing with me, but in the end, I didn't get it.

It's ridiculous to think about it now. Without real strength and ability, where will anyone look up to you?

In the first half of my junior year of high school, the classmate who injured my tail vertebrae fought against another Fei Tou. The one shouted a dozen thugs and stood guard at the door.

He was so scared that he was going to cry. When I saw him like that, I remembered the scene of being bullied before. I told him, you go buy two packs of good cigarettes, find the other one and say something nice to the one who played well. Then, apologize to that one and invite those people to a meal again, and make sure it's okay. He did as I was told, and he was not beaten.

Then they said to me, you have handed him over before, why should you help him? I said, we are all brothers, why bother. After that, he became my pioneer and loyal lackey. Now, we are still in touch, and I now feel that I was too virtuous to repay my grievances at that time.

Throughout high school, especially in the second year of high school, I loved my favorite subjects: Chinese, history, geography, and politics.

For others, there is no interest in the slightest, so it is a complete swing of legs.

Why can't the state give us some opportunities to learn and be useful?