Narrow.

Filthy.

Confusion.

Musty odor.

Disgusting to the extreme.

his room.

A small bedroom, so narrow that there is no room for a second person.

There are a hill of stinky socks piled on the ground in the corner, I haven't washed them, I haven't thought about washing them, but fortunately, now I have moved out of the dormitory on campus and live in a single room, so there is no need to wash them.

The burned mosquito coil ash was scattered all over the place, and there was a lot of hair stuck in it, and I don't know whose it was. The blanket fell completely to the ground, but judging by how dirty the blanket was, this should not be the first time it has fallen to the ground, but it has not been washed.

Clothes were thrown everywhere, books were scattered everywhere, and a schoolbag stained with mosquito coil ash was hidden deep under the bed, and there were books for his compulsory courses this semester inside, but he had forgotten it, if it wasn't for his girlfriend reminding him that he was going to take the final exam, he wouldn't have remembered that he still had a schoolbag, which contained the new books he bought four months ago.

The desk was the only barely visible place in his room.

But it's not much better.

A laptop that had accompanied him for three years in college stood in the center of his desk, separating the two very different worlds.

On one side are books, countless books.

On the other side, there are takeaway packaging bags, countless takeaway packaging bags.

That's generally the case.

After the takeout was finished, the lunch box bag was easily thrown aside, and this desk was indeed ridiculously large, and he could store the takeaway box for half a year.

When one day he finally can't put it down, he can still choose to put it on the ground.

How comfortable, he never expected that when he rented a house back then, his favorite large desk would have such a function.

Doesn't he still have half the world's books?

Yes.

Truly.

But this large pile of books has nothing to do with his schoolwork!

He studied science and engineering, and it was a science and engineering major!

Machine!

A professional who is dyed with a metallic smell and a rigorous temperament!

But on his desk were books on psychology, finance, Chinese medicine, linguistics, philosophy, and religion!

There are no books on mechanics.

And these books, in fact, are just placed here, he has not read them, but many times he chats with female friends, and in order to find topics, he needs these "topic dictionaries".

The only thing that really belongs to his life is the computer and the occasional game in the computer.

Needless to imagine, his schoolwork must have been extremely poor.

Yes, indeed, it can be seen from the course that is about to take the final exam and he has just started to prepare.

And he didn't want to fight anymore.

Although he had read it a little before falling asleep in the morning, and had a general idea of the general content of the course and its distribution, he still didn't bother to fight.

Definitely can't win, how can anyone start the preview the night before the exam and still pass the test?

He leaned back in his chair and looked out the window at the golden world. Quietly savoring the rare "happiness" left over from the previous dream.

But everything in the dream has been completely forgotten, and I can't remember anything except that I seemed to be having a good time.

He sat like this until the sun had completely set, then he got up and went out to wash.

By this time, the numbing pain had disappeared.

Even if it doesn't disappear, it doesn't really matter anymore.

Ziying has long been a numb person, unlike in his dreams, he rarely speaks in reality.

"Knock knock. There was a knock at the entrance.

He walked straight over, opened the door, and there was a takeaway guy standing at the door, and gave him a bag of things with a smile: "Mr. Zhao, right?"

"It's not. He shook his head, took it, and wanted to close the door.

"Eh, wait······"

It's not his, so what is he picking up? The takeaway guy was busy and wanted to go back to the courier.

Ziying interrupted him coldly: "Zhao Fengqian!

Without waiting for him to wonder, Ziying slammed the door shut.

Carrying the bag, he walked to the bedroom with a locked door in another part of the house, and Ziying knocked twice: "Air dry, your takeaway." ”

Didn't respond.

Ziying put the things on the ground.

You don't have to look at it, you can know what it is when you touch it.

Wine.

Back in the bedroom, locking the door, he quietly watched the chaos in the house.

Looking at the books scattered all over the floor.

He left the quiet university dormitory and ran outside to rent a house in order to study hard.

But now.

Still a dick!

He thought he could make a difference by changing his circumstances.

Hehe, is there too much to think?

He, Zhao Ziying, is already a waste! Even if he escapes to the edge of the sky, he is still a waste!

It's just that he is a waste who still retains the self-esteem of being a strong man back then, but he is a waste who still wants to do something earth-shattering from time to time, and then turn back into the high-profile genius of the year!

I think back then, when he was in high school, he was really good, so good, and even jealous!

A person who has the ability to be admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University in the second year of high school can be regarded as excellent?

But he didn't take the exam in the second year of high school, and he waited for the third year of high school, not for Tsinghua University and Peking University, but for the provincial champion.

Such a person should be regarded as a high-profile genius, right?

Unfortunately, he collapsed.

It was not crushed by others, but by oneself.

He succeeded in making himself mentally ill by desperately trying to learn from death.

Severe depression, severe obsessive-compulsive, severe hostility, severe anxiety, plus very severe neurasthenia.

So he collapsed, and he collapsed to death.

But even so, he was still admitted to a national key super university.

It can be seen how good he should have been back then.

But he never expected it.

Despair, it's not over yet.

The excessive effort in high school has over-tightened his spring.

And the moment he stepped into college, all the pressure disappeared in an instant!

No, it's not gone, it's dropped below zero, and it has become a negative number!

"When you just arrive in a new place, you must visit all the local places of interest, otherwise when your high school classmates come to play, you won't even be the host!"

"College is not just about learning, it's about socializing!"

"I haven't been to an Internet café since my freshman year, have you?"

So, he snapped back this spring!

Straight off the bullet!

I played for half a year in the first semester of my freshman year.

I've been playing! I've never been in the classroom! I've never done my homework!

But when it was time for the final exam, he casually added ninety, and even if he usually scored zero, the teacher couldn't hang him up.

This was normal, the focus of the course at that time was on advanced math and drawing, and the rest was very basic knowledge that could be easily mastered as long as there was a slightly systematic way of learning.

In terms of cartography, his sense of space is shockingly good, and the knowledge of cartography is easy to memorize.

As for high math, he learned it thoroughly in high school.

The physics competition in the third year of high school is the study of advanced mathematics and college physics in college courses, and to be precise, its difficulty is enough to compare with the graduate school entrance examination! A person who has reached this level will still be stumped by college-level high mathematics?

So he thought he didn't have to study in college.

So he really didn't study.

I have been playing for four years in college, getting a diploma, and starting to work hard in the future when I enter the society, and the four years of college have also accumulated a great network for him, how perfect!

That's what he thought.

But he didn't realize that a poison called "laziness" had spread deep into his internal organs.

When he finally came to his senses, he found that he couldn't work hard!

As soon as I saw the book, I recalled the scene of getting up early in the morning and reciting books frantically, and I was so disgusted that I wanted to vomit! As soon as I saw the test papers, I remembered the sea of questions that I had brushed through several times back then, and I had a headache and wanted to die! In the end, I even wanted to sleep as soon as I entered the classroom!

But he is really powerful, and in just half a year, he has overcome these psychological obstacles.

However, he can't get rid of the "laziness" that goes deep into the bone marrow no matter what!

He couldn't remember to study.

Even if I think about studying, I don't want to study.

Even if I finally force myself to get up from bed and study, I can't keep studying.

So he was able to play with his mobile phone until he fell asleep at the stall where he worked frantically on the last day before the exam!

He's already a wreck!

A waste that can't be saved at all!

But this waste still has the arrogant heart of an exclusive genius, and he will never be able to accept the reality that he has been reduced to a waste!

Every time he saw that he would fail such a simple course, he would be so sad and angry that he wanted to die! But he was not qualified to say anything, he deserved it, he didn't study it himself, obviously as long as he was given a week, he might be able to pass the exam above 90, but he couldn't even work hard for a week!

And this paranoia finally triggered the illness that he hid in the depths of his spirit.

Mental illness is a kind of magic obstacle that can never be shaken off when it is infected, after all, it is a knot in the heart, an abnormal reaction, it opens up a new horizon for you, it allows you to see pain, no matter how hard you try to close it, this vision exists after all.

And he, Zhao Ziying, opened this eye, and the ending was paranoia, depression, sensitivity, irritability, and irritability!

He finally lost even his friends.

I am only grateful to a female girlfriend - because the relationship is so good, so good that there is nothing to talk about, so I called the other party's best friend, and only this best friend still did not alienate him, still treated him very well, he didn't go to class, this best friend also helped him sign in every time, so that the teacher once thought that Zhao Ziying's classmate was a girl.

But she's not his girlfriend, she's just a friend.

Since she is just a friend, Ziying feels that she should not harm others, she is a big boy who surrounds her every day, how can she find a boyfriend.

So he took the initiative to distance himself from her.

A large part of the reason for moving out of school is also because of this.

So, at this point, he finally had nothing.