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Bai Chongshan's wife, Miao Yuegui, was originally the daughter of a pair of Han tenants in Bai Chongshan's family, but she suffered from the plague in the fierce year, and her parents died, leaving her alone at the age of four, helpless.

Bai Chongshan's father, Bai Laozhai, was merciful, seeing that she was pitiful, and she was born with clear eyebrows and beautiful eyes, so he moved compassion and selfishness and adopted her as a child daughter-in-law. When she became an adult, she and Bai Chongshan got married.

Perhaps it was the shadow left by the misfortune of her childhood--- she always felt that she was a child abandoned by her parents, and she had been insecure since the day she was under the fence, and she was afraid that she would be abandoned again; Or perhaps it was an unbearable childhood experience--- when she was about to become a girl, she was tempted by a big boy in the village, and they did what she should not have done at her age in a wasteland and grass where corn had just been harvested. After enduring the brutal and rough ravages of the big boy, she felt remorse and guilt, and she was miserable, especially when she learned that the big boy had done this ugly deed, because she was afraid that the matter would be exposed, she would be punished with the most severe punishment from the Bai clan's family law, and she committed suicide by taking medicine the next day.

Because of her, a familiar person died, she was restless, she was afraid that the ghost of the big boy would come to haunt her, and she was also afraid that the Bai family would know about her affair with the big boy.

In the midst of worry and fear, her mental state of mind gradually distorted, which led to sexual frigidity after marriage, which caused her to feel guilty and disgusted every time she lived as a couple. Soon after giving birth to her daughter, Bai Ruxue, she suffered from severe intermittent depression.

Depression patients are all the same in the world, more or less there are always some experiences that are difficult to talk about; But depression patients all over the world have their own outcomes and destinations.

Due to the limitations of medicine and traditional cognition at that time, Miao Yuegui's condition began to deteriorate later due to the lack of timely treatment. My daughter had just turned one year old, and she was becoming more and more anxious and grumpy. This anxiety became especially acute when her daughter Bai Ruxue was two years old. She feared that someone would harm her, and she even saw all kinds of ghostly apparitions. She often isolates herself in a dark room or in the depths of the jungle, or in her own hallucinations.

For her illness, Bai Chongshan can be said to have endured all the hardships. Every day, he doesn't know what will happen to her next hour, whether she will harm herself or not (with his poison, she has committed suicide three times). Or did he use his antidote, he saved her three times)? Will he go missing? Where will he go to find her? During this period, in order to escape the torment of depression and find the so-called idol or holy place in her heart that can save her, she has been to Cangshan and Erhai Lake, which are hundreds of miles away, and to Kunming Bashu, which is thousands of miles away.

For the sake of his daughter, Bai Chongshan accepted her again and again after being missing for several months or more than half a year, or being found or lost and returning home, although he knew that no matter what he did, he would not be able to keep her for a long time; His home was just an inn where she lived temporarily, and she still had to leave for a long time.

For this Xima (wife) who does not stop for a moment, he has long been discouraged and desperate.