The treatment continued, and the frequency of my entry and exit from the MRI room increased quite a bit. At most, three times a day.

With such frequent check-ups, even other doctors felt that something was wrong. I even heard Dr. Sun arguing with another female doctor in the MRI room.

They thought I couldn't hear, but they forgot to turn off the loudspeaker that was broadcasting into the exam room.

"In his current state, even if he has a fat plug, it is impossible to get rid of the locked-in syndrome within a week or two, you are a doctor, not a god!" The female doctor looked very angry, "Use your brain, Sun Lien!"

"I'm using it. Dr. Sun's voice sounded a little annoyed, "How can it be so easy to convince the patient?

"Then let him out!" the female doctor's voice was a little higher again, "Get the family's signature, and then let him be discharged!"

"And then let him wait for death?" Dr. Sun seemed to be really angry, "I am a doctor, not a bureaucrat!"

The female voice was stunned, and then suddenly calmed down, "For his current situation, death is not the most terrible thing. Even if your diagnosis is correct, he may not be able to return to a state of self-care. And then what? What else can you do? The six-year survival rate for people with locked-in syndrome is less than 10 percent, and the vast majority of patients die within four months of onset......

"Every single one of us is going to die. Dr. Sun interrupted, "Death is inevitable. But I'm a doctor, and if I can't help my patient avoid death, then at least let me try to alleviate some of his pain. He couldn't even remember his own family, and it was too lonely to die like this. ”

That one...... Although I appreciate your concern for me, Dr. Sun, it is not necessary.

I've figured it out.

I still can't remember what I was going through. At least the memories are not comprehensive enough. I can barely remember some things about elementary school and high school, and I have no memory of college. I wasn't sure if I had ever gone to college, but according to my wife, I met her at a college debate. So extrapolating from the side, I must have gone to college.

There are some memories of the work section, but they are all scattered, like a complete film saved on film that has been erased from the sound and thrown into a paper shredder. Occasionally, one or two recognizable pieces of film appear, but most of the time they are meaningless and unrecognizable fragments.

I don't remember my name, I don't remember my past, I can't move even a finger, and I can't speak.

It's painful.

What is even more painful is that from my parents and my wife, I hear different stories about myself. In the eyes of my parents, I am a positive, energetic and driven son. In my wife's mouth, I am a gentle, considerate, and understanding husband. But in my opinion, neither of those two images is really my true self.

I was afraid of death and torture, and I had neither the courage to continue living in such circumstances, nor the thorough understanding of my own abilities. Although I told myself that all these decisions were made so as not to drag down my family, I knew from the bottom of my heart that I just didn't dare to continue to face reality.

As for whether death will make them live in grief forever, I don't care.

In every sense of the word, I'm just a vile little person.

On my side, I was dissecting my own heart, and on the other side, the argument between Dr. Sun and the female doctor continued. However, the content has gradually expanded to include things like "fat plug syndrome is not directly related to locked-in syndrome" and "cerebral basilar vascular occlusion and frontal lobe damage may not be the only plausible explanation for his current state." "All in all, I don't understand, but they seem to be talking very seriously.

After a heated argument, the room suddenly fell into a deathly silence. Then, just as I wondered if the two of them had finally figured out that the microphone hadn't been turned off, I suddenly heard a metal thump.

"Bang!" a loud bang exploded in my ears. Then came Dr. Sun's angry and frustrated scolding.

I shook my head slightly, the young doctor's concentration was indeed a little weaker. Isn't it just a little frustration at work, what's there to be angry about?

There was a strange "Huh?" and then a voice I had never heard before, "Dr. Sun, you didn't touch anything just now, did you?"

Dr. Sun was stunned for a moment before saying, "No, I just tripped over a chair...... Brother Luo, what's wrong?"

So you didn't just smash the chair on the ground in anger, but simply clumsy and tripped over the stool?

I snorted softly twice, and then I was a little worried, with this kind of doctor, no wonder I can't cure this disease.

"This image ...... It's blurry. The man known as Brother Luo muttered, "It feels like someone is moving." ”

I'm sorry, but I can't move yet. I'll go out and complain about you!

"It's really ......" Dr. Sun suddenly seemed to have discovered something, and after a "jingle bell" sound, I heard his voice, "Mr. Qian, can you move?"

I could move? How could I not know? I subconsciously shook my head. Then he was stunned.

I can shake my head.

I can move!

I froze there, unsure of how to react. The eyes blinked twice, and two lines of tears instantly flowed down from the corners of the eyes and fell directly into the ears.

I cried without image, crying very sadly, crying very happily.

·

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·

"Look, I'll just say it, I can cure you!" In the ICU, Sun Lien was so happy that he was unscrupulous. If it weren't for the fact that there were a few patients lying next to me, I even doubted that he would be able to dance directly in front of me.

I opened my mouth with difficulty and let out a slurred sound.

Sun Lien hurriedly pushed the screen that I had used for more than ten days back again. Then he waited expectantly for me to speak.

"I'm just going from total paralysis to paraplegia now. "It's good that my eyes can move from side to side. At least typing is much faster. "I'm excited, but I'm not done yet, is it?"

Dr. Sun replied with a smile, "This means that there is no problem with my diagnosis and treatment, and as long as I continue to treat, there will be further improvement." He shook it at me with a picture of an imaging examination, "Your frontal lobe ischemia is shrinking, and a lot of hypertrophic blood vessels have grown around you, as long as you continue to treat, there will be further improvement." ”

I lay on the bed, tears streaming down my face.

"Doctor. I raised my hand with difficulty, wiped my tears from my face with the back of my tactile hand, and asked, "I can't stop crying now, is this also a side effect?"

"There is another name for this reaction - tears of joy. Dr. Sun replied with a smile, and then he shook the top half of my bed a little so that I could half lean on the bed. "I guess you're a little bored after lying in bed for so many days, and there's a TV over there. He pointed to the ceiling a little farther away, and I followed his finger to see an LCD TV with the news playing. "I'm going to inform your family that things are getting better, but it's past the visitation period, so ...... If you see them again, you will have tomorrow. ”

I nodded slightly. It's okay to make them happy a little bit first, and then give me some buffer time.

Dr. Sun left, and several other nurses came over. I've heard their voices while I'm lying in bed, and I've seen their faces wearing masks through my peripheral vision. Now we can finally meet.

I'm going to complain about you!" I roared inwardly, and a somewhat stiff smile appeared on my face.

"I'm sorry for you these days. I continued typing, "It's hard work to take care of a patient like me who doesn't cooperate at all." ”

The nurses looked at each other and laughed together.

"No hassle, no hassle. One of them smiled at me and said, "It's easy for us to lie still." ”

I thought about it, and it seemed like it was true.

"But I'd like to talk to a few people......" I asked after a moment's hesitation, "can you let me go to the bathroom alone today?" ”

"Don't even think about that. "My request was rejected without hesitation. "You still have a big hole in your head now, in case you exert yourself hard, and one of the blood vessels breaks with a 'poof' sound, then you can't move again!"

I blinked and responded as fast as I could, "Then I'll continue to trouble you." ”

The nurses laughed together.

I watched the show on TV and slowly fell into a dream.

At this moment, I deeply felt that I was still alive.

·

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After two more days in the ICU, I was finally admitted to the general ward of the neurosurgery department. Not to die, though, but because I've been able to sit up.

What is it like to lie motionless in bed for more than ten days? If Zhihu has this kind of question, then I must be the most suitable person to answer.

Thank you for the invitation, I just got off the plane, and my phone is out of battery, so I will say a few words.

Hurt.

All the muscles and joints in my body hurt. The feeling of lying in bed for half a month is similar to the feeling of ordinary people who neglect to exercise the next day after suddenly running a full marathon.

But it hurts. At least it will help me re-exercise my facial muscles. I winked at my wife with a sore muscle.

She turned her head away from me. If it weren't for the fact that I still feel a little uneasy, I would have wanted to pounce on her face and lick it.

"No matter how old a person is, there is no one who is right. My dad muttered a couple of words to me, and then sat down with my mom on the edge of the bed. The wife didn't know what she was packing on the side, and she didn't turn around for a long time.

I suddenly felt a little panicked, but I didn't know what the reason for this panic was.

"Are you ......" I still didn't know what I was saying, but they could still understand it if I said it slowly, "what is hiding from me?"

The old couple looked at each other, but didn't say anything.

I was stunned for a moment, and then panicked even more.

"Dad, Mom......" The wife suddenly turned her head and said to the two old men, "or ...... Let me tell you. "There were tears on her pretty face.

·

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Nineteen days ago, Qian Linjiang took his four-year-old daughter to kindergarten. As an industry analyst in a securities company, he rarely took a day off, and Qian Linjiang, who had not seen his daughter for a long time, decided to send his children to kindergarten in order to accompany his little princess more.

The kindergarten is not far from their home, walk out of the community, walk through the intersection, and continue to walk for about three minutes, you can see this kindergarten that charges 3,800 yuan a month. One came and went, but nineteen minutes.

And Qian Linjiang went, and he went for nineteen days.

An overloaded truck loaded with steel drills slammed its steering wheel to the right in order to avoid the battery car that suddenly appeared on the road in front of it, and then rolled directly on its side on the road.

The two steel drills on the car shot straight out like two aimed spears, one hit the big tree next to the road, and after rebounding, it hit Qian Linjiang's temple directly. The other ...... It was nailed directly through his daughter's chest.

Qian Linjiang's daughter died on the spot, and after Qian Linjiang fell, his left leg was run over by the cargo box on the truck. He was then taken to the Fourth Central Hospital by emergency personnel.

Nineteen days later, Qian Linjiang's condition stabilized and he was sent to the general ward of neurosurgery for further treatment.

Forty-nine days later, he was discharged. Although there are still some inconvenient places to move, with the help of crutches, he can barely stand for a few minutes.

One hundred and forty-nine days later, Qian Linjiang quit his job. He and his wife set up a shop in front of their house, and they opened a cat café, where children under the age of 12 were free to enter.

The name of the café is Yu Yan, and the logo of the store is a little girl, wearing a hooded cape, and the hat is worn on her head, in the style of a black cat.

Qian Yuyan's child made a small wish when she was four years old.

"For next year's birthday, I want a little black cat!