Chapter 200: Looking Back 2

Until one day, Gao Xiaosong told me that every five years, a man should whip himself with a big-eared melon seed! What is it for? Five years later, I will deeply realize how stupid I was five years ago!

So I thought about it and it made sense.

Since then, I have learned that the maturity of the Tao is only a process, and it will slowly become mature after going through a lot of things. Some people have an innate advantage and look mature from the outside. Some people are more introverted and talk less, not to say, to say too much, to lose more words. Less words, so less wrong words, inappropriate words, give people the illusion of calm. But I think it doesn't really have to do with maturity, I haven't seen those people say blockbuster words, I haven't seen them thrive in the circle.

Nowadays, some girls like old men, this phenomenon has been more common, especially in big cities is very obvious, for what? It is undeniable that old men look mature, old men know how to care and considerate, old men have experienced more, hehe, of course, there is a little more, old men have been working hard for more than ten years, the economic foundation is relatively solid, much stronger than our gang of newly graduated dicks.

Hehe, it seems to be off.

In the past five years, I have paused my pursuit of you (the relationship has never been suspended, but I have tried not to bother you), and I have also been persistent (in fact, it is a dead face), and until today, it is still like that, and no progress has been made. People are not stupid, I also know where the problem is, in the final analysis, there are no more than two reasons: 1. You don't look down on me, from the inside out, such as appearance, such as personality, such as conduct, such as etc.; 2. You have someone in your heart, and others can't break into your heart at all. There may be a third point, but I believe you are not a girl of secular reality.

And an in-depth analysis of the above two points actually leads to one conclusion: you don't like me. Just those four words, oh no, five words.

So since I know the Tao, why should I be so obsessed with me, I would rather make you feel annoyed with me, but I should be so obsessed! Seriously, I thought about it with my heart, and asked my truest self, what is this for? But as a result, I couldn't even answer myself.

I admit that I am a little stupid, a little taken for granted, a little fantasized, and so on! I often wonder if there will be a day when I can step on the colorful auspicious clouds, wear the golden armor and holy clothes, and marry you under the watchful eyes of all people. It's a pity that I didn't even guess the beginning, so how can I believe the end.

If I say that in the past five years, all my thoughts are only on you alone, then, even if you believe it, I'm afraid I won't believe it myself.

I said I always liked you, but I also liked someone else halfway through. Isn't it contradictory, I keep saying how much I like you, and this is also sincere, not mixed with lies at all, so why do you like you at the same time, but also like others?

I was thinking about whether it was fake for your liking or fake for others, and the end result was actually true. Then it can only reflect the selfishness of being a person, and you may like many people at the same time, which is greed.

Maybe, when I like other girls, I still say I like you, it's a love that has been hidden in the depths, and it can't see the light, maybe one day I will completely forget it, maybe I will still remember it in my heart for the rest of my life, the former will be less likely, completely forget, it's all a lie, I can't do it.

Even if one day I get married, and the bride is not you, you are still placed in that corner, guarded, and remembered, then, is this an infidelity to her? Who does not have a little secret in his heart, and when he tries to steal even the deepest secret, it is mutual distrust, and the end is doomed. Between men and women, who are now eroded to the bones, the purest love has become more and more sacred and noble. The pursuit of excitement, XY, money, resulting in the phenomenon of juniors, lovers, friends and *** is becoming more and more common. So whether the beauty in the heart is worth cherishing, this is not a spiritual betrayal, let alone a physical betrayal, where is the infidelity!

Let's ask again, who didn't like a few girls or young men when they were young, who didn't have a red/blue face in their hearts, and who really forgot about it after the worst, just put it in their hearts and didn't say it again, what kind of taste it was, only he knew clearly.

I'm disgusted that the sentence not getting is always the most beautiful. I really don't know who said this, I don't understand, if you can't get it, what's the point of being beautiful! If I have to interpret [I have to use this sentence to interpret you], I just want to send him a sentence: I bought a watch last year!

It's okay not to understand and not to accept, but please don't deny it.

I've liked you for eight or nine years, and I can't catch you, this is my failure, to tell the truth, I'm already uncomfortable enough, so I can't judge me with those vulgar and hypocritical, and I think I can explain the truth of the world, even if Yuan Shi Tianzun comes, I won't accept it.

..................

The ellipsis means that I've started to feel less at ease, so I'm writing this. It's all about unlogical, disorganized, purposeless, pure memories, and it's good for me to practice typing.

In fact, when I really thought about it, I also found that I have too little to do with you, if I want to make up a story, I'm afraid most of them need to be fabricated out of thin air, how sour this is, eight or nine years, just a little memory. ”

The above excerpt is from the paragraph written by Qi Haoyuan to Yan Caihong in 2013, and there are a lot of deletions.

Qi Haoyuan was immersed in the memories of that period of the past, and was silent for a long time, and the second brother did not make a sound to disturb. After a long time, he smiled bitterly and walked out of Yan Caihong's memories.

The reason why he felt so deeply was because that memory was full of sourness, it was the most profound part of his youth memory, and it was also the one he didn't want to look back on.

A layer of crystal flickered in his eyes, he smiled unconsciously, his eyes silently looked at Yan Yuqing's back, and there was an indescribable feeling in his heart. He knew in his heart that all this was just a coincidence, but he preferred to believe that it was a fate arranged by God.

He firmly believes that meeting Yan Yuqing is a deliberate arrangement by God, just like the encounter between Supreme Treasure and Zixia Fairy in "Journey to the West". This marriage is arranged by God, the biggest arrangement of God, is it not enough for your stinky fart?

So when the second brother said that Yan Yuqing had affection for Chu Lingfeng, he didn't care. Since the heavens had arranged this encounter, he believed that this was the destined result, not to mention one Chu Lingfeng, even if it was ten Chu Lingfeng, what could it be?