Since embracing Liu Ting, Nian Hao's life has returned to peace. Liu Ting always came to Nian Hao's residence alone at eleven o'clock every Wednesday night. Each time, she stripped everything and cried for a long time in the bathroom, hidden by the sound of the water. Then, he dried himself and got into Nian Hao's quilt and snuggled up to his chest. When the sun rose, he left in a hurry, and spent more than a month here. The omen did not come, and Liu Ting did not go to the Novro mainland. It's just that both of them seem to be waiting for something different to come, and as for what they are waiting for, neither of them can tell. The only thing that is certain is that the feeling of being in each other's arms is very good.

These days, there is no Yao Luoxuan at the intersection of the school, and Nian Hao just stares at every time he passes by. It seems that she just disappeared, and disappeared again in her life. And only Liu Ting was left at the intersection, and she just looked back at him with a disguise. As for Sun Qian, she was forgotten by the school, and as well as the dead child, she was deeply forgotten. Everything is calm, everything that can be known is not used as a topic of discussion for anyone, and even if someone mentions it, it is just a passing aside.

Nian Hao lost doubts about everything. I lost my doubts about Liu Ting, who came on time every Wednesday night, about Sun Qian's disappearance, and about Yao Luoxuan's murderous absconding. Regardless of the three, even if all the answers were told to him, Nian Hao seemed to feel that he didn't need it so much. Whether it's the accounting company full of suspicion, the tavern, or what their movements are, it doesn't seem to matter anymore. Even if you cross the strait and go to the continent on the other side, you don't seem to be interested in the scenery of all things that are also made of nature.

The only thing that makes him tangled up now is the upcoming college entrance examination in front of him. It's still five months away, but as things stand, he's not doing what he's hoping for. Tsinghua University, Peking University, this is not what he thinks. A school a little farther away, a place away from all this, and it seems that I'm sorry for his excellent grades now. In fact, he just wants to stay in the city, but he doesn't want to look at the city.

Nian Hao's swordsmanship became more and more exquisite, and even when he took out the sword, an invisible sword aura rushed out. After a few days of attempts, within five meters of each other, the sword qi was indestructible, as if the long sword in his hand was intimate. But with this power, Nian Hao wanted to break away. Once the idea was formed, Nian Hao stopped drawing his sword from the shadow for several weeks, and even after his own shadow broke away from him, he ignored all its movements. Nian Hao hates his own thoughts, but fortunately he focuses on studying, studying seriously in class, running to the library after class to continue studying, and after school, he went to the bookstore to buy a lot of tutorial texts, and found a review teacher in the relationship of the welfare home. During this time, learning completely filled his life.

Another Wednesday night, Nian Hao hugged the sleeping Liu Ting tightly, looking at the stars in the sky through the window, he tried hard to watch, but everywhere he looked, there was nothing. I didn't want to think about anything, I was just feeling the tenderness of Liu Ting's skin with one hand, and a clip of hugging Sun Qian appeared in my mind, and after the exhibition, the heroine in that clip became Yao Luoxuan again.

Why do you like to look out the window? At that time, Sun Qian asked Nian Hao like this, and then Sun Qian writhed more vigorously on Nian Hao's body. She continued: I want you, and I want you to look at me. After finishing speaking, Sun Qian twisted Nian Hao's head towards herself.

Once upon a time, Nian Hao was like this, and many times Yu Sun Qian got along with each other, he put his spiritual power on the woman named Yao Luoxuan in the opposite room.

At that time, in Nian Hao's fantasy, the person in himself was Yao Luoxuan. It seems that there is no pity for Sun Qian, but it is. Bastards are assholes, at least everything is very satisfying.

I'm yours at the moment. Nian Hao said this, using an excuse to respond to Sun Qian's question.

If you dig into the meaning of this expression, Sun Qian will have to ask to the end at that time. But Sun Qian likes this way of expression, the connection of the two bodies, the touch of the soul, but the feeling is the same. Nian Hao knew how unfair it was to think of the girl in front of him as another woman in this situation, but what kind of willingness was this injustice constructed.

Nian Hao sat up from the bed, and after he covered Liu Ting with the quilt, he went to the sofa alone. Nian Hao lit a cigarette and smoked, coughing for some reason, and his lungs ached. Nian Hao looked at the burning smoke and shook his head, he had an abnormal tolerance for pain, but the pain in his lungs that twisted his organs made him break out in a cold sweat on his forehead.

It's time to quit smoking! This thought that popped up really surprised Nian Hao. It's just that he doesn't want to, the smell of this cigarette makes him feel peaceful, every wisp of smoke filters in his lungs, and nicotine runs above his nerves. Yao Luoxuan and himself, Sun Qian and himself, Liu Ting and himself, in fact, is just a story between a person and himself, Nian Hao knows everything, but under this knowledge, he forgot all of it. Nian Hao knew that he couldn't be so endless in this world, he couldn't get out, he couldn't see, what he had to do was to stop in place, wait for the sun to rise and the moon to full, year after year, day after day on him This time comes and goes.

During the winter break. Nian Hao was completely disgusted with all this. He packed his luggage, and after following Liu Ting completely crazy, he went out of the room early the next morning when Liu Ting was asleep. Nian Hao came to the 4S store, directly spent less than 100,000 yuan, bought a Tiggo eight SUV, and waited for the sales to apply for a temporary pass for him, Nian Hao bought three cigarettes from the store next to him, all of them were stuffed into the car, and asked the repairman to check the tire pressure and various indicators. After everything was done, Nian Hao drove out in the car. As for his driver's license, he got it directly. Two days ago, Nian Hao went to the school's club, which is called the New Sinology Cultural Club, and he threw a note with a driver's license written on it to the person in charge of the club, who is also Liu Ting's current boyfriend. After waiting for two hours, he got his driver's license.

The ability of this community is also very strong, and within two hours, Nian Hao was given a driver's license, and it was registered on the public security website. During the two hours of waiting, Nian Hao has been silently observing Liu Ting, the so-called current boyfriend. This man is very handsome, dressed in Hanfu, and for two hours, he has been looking at the ancient books placed in front of him, like a scholar who entered Beijing in ancient times to take the exam. Nian Hao wanted to say to him, "Hey, you know what, your girlfriend is with me all night every Wednesday." It's just that Nian Hao didn't say such words, this is the case, but there is no need to show it now.

Nian Hao drove the new car out of the 4S store, then entered the gas station next to it, injected enough gasoline, paid the money with WeChat, and smiled after listening to the lie that the refueling staff introduced that the new car must be fueled, he just shook his head and refused. Re-got in the car, stepped on the energetic car, and headed for the road. At this time, Nian Hao thought, where is his position? Whether it is his destination or life? At this time, I am only within an iron frame, and my location is only on the road in a city. Where am I going?

What am I doing? What can I do?

Nian Hao asked himself. The answer to your own question is not so easy to find. Watching the rapid movement of the vehicle in front of him, he also added his accelerator, and then went around a few circles, and before he could observe the road conditions, he found that he had reached the high-speed platform. There were cars in front and behind, and I couldn't get down, so I queued up to the toll window, took a card, and stepped on the accelerator again to make the engine roar. Highway signs point to Kunshan. Nian Hao estimated in his heart, if there was no traffic jam, it was estimated that he would arrive in Kunshan in an hour and a half. As for what he should do when he arrives in Kunshan, he doesn't know.

Regarding the memory of Kunshan, he was very resistant in his heart. It's not that Nian Hao doesn't have a good impression of this city, but he fell over there in a memory. It seems that a child who was once born in Kunshan, in high school, finally chased the girl he liked, but after college, the girl was separated from him. In this memory, no matter who any of them pointed to, he clearly knew that it was the real Sun Qian. And he was just the boy she abandoned. When the boy learns that he was abandoned, the whole world collapses, and all the edifices of his dreams are destroyed. This memory is not the original memory, nor is it a fact that has been retained since it was overwritten, it is just a memory, and I am the protagonist in it. Nian Hao lit a cigarette and held the steering wheel, trying to erase the sadness brought to him by this memory. Nian Hao opened a gap in the car window, letting the wind blow on his face, and cigarette ash drifted everywhere in the car.

Although Kunshan is at the county level, it has always been the first of the top 100 counties. It is right next to Shanghai, under the jurisdiction of Suzhou, with a long north-south specialty and a narrow east-west approach. Its geographical location is particularly good, and it is the only way for Jiangsu to connect the north and south. It's small, but it's very developed. In Nian Hao's memory, Kunshan left him the fields of his hometown, the buildings in the city center, and the game hall next to the small bridge and flowing water. The bits and pieces of wreckage alone reflect the residual impression of the city.

Either way, that memory was very uncomfortable. The feeling of being discarded is more difficult than the feeling of being abandoned in a welfare home when I was young. There are no strong feelings when you are young, only dependence on the person you meet for the first time, and everything that has been built up by all the experiences of old age will hurt even more if it suddenly collapses. But, fortunately, this is just a memory, even if it is true, and what is it now? I am not aware of the outcome of all this, although I don't know what it will develop into later, but it is not frozen and cannot be removed.

After Nian Hao sorted out the bad emotions brought by this memory, his car had already gotten off the highway, and often his own thoughts, coupled with boring thoughts, time would pass very quickly. Out of the highway, he drove towards the city, and after half an hour of congestion, he arrived at a parking lot, parked his car, took out a few packs of cigarettes from the car, put on his sunglasses, and looked at the various people walking around. I thought, since I'm already here, let's just take a look.

Nian Hao took out his mobile phone, looked at the introduction of a certain App, and decided to try Kunshan's special food first. Nian Hao felt that this was not because of his hunger, but because his memory triggered a certain habit of his own. Let it be, it doesn't matter.

Smoking a cigarette and walking on the street, after only a few puffs, Nian Hao coughed again. He shook his head, still insisting on smoking his cigarette, the twisted sensation in his lungs filling his body, but the taste of pain was the best proof of his existence.

The streets of Kunshan are not intricate, and this is the case in the heart of the city. When I arrived at the Okuhato noodle restaurant that my phone was referring to, a pleasant smell of food wafted from inside. Nian Hao stopped to watch, the classical Chinese architecture fell peacefully in the reinforced concrete of the city, but the fashionable people who came and went at the door were reminding that it was the age of the moment. Nian Hao walked into it and asked the waiter if there was anything to eat.

"We knew you were coming today, so the best noodle soup was already prepared early in the morning. When the waiter saw Nian Hao, he immediately got up and said with a smile. This smile is very stiff, and it doesn't seem to be a long-term professional habit of hers.

Nian Hao frowned, and he said, "How do you know me?"

"It's just that the boss mentioned it like this, so let's entertain you with a good life. ”

"May I ask a question, who are you above?" asked Nian Hao.

After hearing this, the waiter shook his head: "It's our manager who said it, as for why this is so, you seem to have to ask our manager." ”

"Okay. There's something good to eat here. ”

"Ao cooktop, that's noodles. The noodle soup is particularly good, because I know that you are coming, and I deliberately leave the best noodle soup. After that, you can choose any toppings. After that, the waiter pointed to the things on the recipe in front of him, the so-called toppings are fried pork ribs, fried fish, white chopped chicken, and duck. Deep-fried pork ribs, and fried fish, are all fried with hot oil to fry the pork ribs and fish thoroughly, and this kind of thing seems to be the characteristic of Kunshan Zhou City, dozens of seasonings secret duck meat.

Nian Hao watched for a while, and then only needed a large row.

"Please go upstairs, the private room is ready for you. ”

Nian Hao shook his head and said, "No need, just go downstairs in the lobby." ”

The waiter's face was a little embarrassed, and she said, "There are too many people downstairs." ”

"Then I'll go. ”

"No, I didn't mean that, downstairs, downstairs. ”

Immediately, Nian Hao picked up an unmanned table and made it next to him. Soon, the noodles were delivered, and the toppings were placed in front of Nian Hao. Nian Hao put the toppings into the noodles and stirred them, as in his memory, waiting for the noodle soup to completely integrate into the big chop, he scooped it up with his chopsticks and took a bite.

The taste hasn't changed, it's still the same. Nian Hao pondered, he clearly remembered this taste. It's just that everything has changed. No, it may be that I have changed, not the world. If you repeat yourself in various memories, it is undeniable that you are the biggest change in this world. The world is only the world, and you are not yourself.

After eating the noodles, no one came to find Nian Hao. After thanking the waiter, Nian Hao walked out of the noodle shop. He looked at the sun overhead, shining on the city's buildings, everything was so natural. Although the new year is approaching, and the winter is getting heavier and heavier everywhere you look, the cold is gone, and you seem to be trapped in a world constructed by lies.

After a while, Nian Hao walked to Kunshan Tinglin Park, where a pocket hill more than 70 meters high is located. Nian Hao walked to the ticket window, his heart was broken, he wanted to buy tickets, but he left directly and went to the ticket gate at the gate of the park.

"Can I go in?"

"What about tickets?" asked the ticket inspector.

"Tickets?" Nian Hao frowned again.

"It's you, you can go in. The ticket inspector said suddenly, and his indifferent attitude turned to enthusiasm.

Everything is arranged. Nian Hao understood. He didn't care about anything, and stepped directly into the garden. Nian Hao's footsteps were very fast, he did not linger among the flowers and plants in front of the park, he went around here directly, glanced at the children's paradise passing by, and then turned around the mountain and walked towards the back mountain.

When passing through the back mountain, there is a martyr's cemetery. Nian Hao paused, he walked in, looked at the serene place of the heroes, but smiled. He remembered an old man, the one who had taken care of him when he was young.

"Old fellow. You have been fighting all your life, will you think that with me, the world will forget you?" Nian Hao said self-deprecatingly: "I can't even tell myself now, whether you exist in this world or not." My young memories seem to be about to lose you. However, I think now, the only remaining memory will end here, in front of the martyrs, you can enjoy the admiration of the world together. ”

With that, Nian Hao knelt down and kissed the dirt under his feet. In this way, in his early childhood, all the people he came into contact with, all the people who gave him, were all distorted by invisible forces, and then broken, until they were forever forgotten.

Time is still there, the world is still there, it's just whether you are still there, this is a story that you can't tell.

Nian Hao stood up, walked out of the gate, and continued to walk towards the back mountain. Along the green avenue, the small bridge that bypasses the lake-colored scenery, and the Qionghua that has not yet bloomed, you will be on a slope in a blink of an eye. Although the mountain is only more than 70 meters high, the steps leading to the top of the mountain still make people feel a little tough.

"Can't walk?" In my memory, there was a girl who said to Nian Hao. And Nian Hao at that time was not like this now.

"Is it possible?"

The girl sighed, her jeans legs slightly upturned, revealing her bare feet, and then stepped on her canvas shoes straight up. She walked on the steps like a swaying penguin. This posture couldn't help but make Nian Hao smile suddenly at this time.

Nian Hao immediately followed. When you reach the top of the mountain, you can see the buildings in the center of Kunshan, and on the stone railings around, there are crowds of people sitting in twos and threes, eye-catching stone towers, and the surrounding woods, everything seems to be the same from forgetting to losing, and even now.

"I'm thirsty. The girl came out of a nearby corner of the shop, holding two bottles of Coca-Cola. Frozen, cold air surrounds the bottle. One bottle opened by itself, and the other bottle was handed to Nian Hao. Nian Hao received it in his hand and smiled slightly, here, as at that time, it was the same smile. Then I opened the lid and drank it slowly.

The store is still there, and the things it sells are still the same. The price was much higher than that of the mountain, and Nian Hao didn't care about this, sat down on a small bench in front of the store, and then asked the merchant to take a bottle of Coke and drink it.

"Do you miss it?" said the shopkeeper to Nian Hao. The shopkeeper was a middle-aged man, slightly chubby, with glasses, a beard, and a round face, sitting on his stool, shaking Erlang's legs very comfortably.

But that's not true. Nian Hao said.

"But it's true. The shopkeeper said.

Nian Hao didn't say a word, and looked directly at the scenery in the distance. He tried to find any memories again, but like an endless sea, all kinds of fish grow, and if he went down with a net, he would be full of harvest.

"It's not that we followed it, it's just that you chose this path. The shopkeeper told Nian Hao: "Sometimes, the world will fill in all the gaps according to the unshakable character choices. ”

After thinking about it for a while, Nian Hao asked again: "Then how do you explain everything around me now?"

"Do you mean the injustice done to them?" said the shopkeeper.

"Yes. Nian Hao took out a cigarette, lit it, and exhaled the smoke, and his lungs hurt again. It's just that now I feel like I have all the pain I have, and when it disappears, I may have nothing.

"That's an injustice to the people you care about, not to other people. ”

"Is there a difference?" said Nian Hao.

The shopkeeper didn't speak, he raised his hand and pointed to everything in front of him, and said, "Is this real?"

"If it disappears, then there is no reality. Nian Hao replied, smoking a cigarette and continuing to cough.

"It's never gone, it's always there. The shopkeeper said. "A relative foundation, for them we have disappeared, but for us we all seem to be gone. ”

"It doesn't matter how you disappear or how you exist, the key is your own attitude. There is also the position in which it is located. Are you an accounting company, a tavern, or a new culture?" asked Nian Hao.

"Where are you leaning?"

Nian Hao smiled softly: "It seems to be very troublesome." ”

The shopkeeper said, "Indeed. Troublesome individuals, troublesome organizations, but you've always been on our side, haven't you ever found out?"

"So, because of your existence, I have not been swayed by them? Actually, I am afraid of the memories in my head, especially those that belong to you. ”

The shopkeeper asked, "Would you like to test it?"

"What?"

"Memories of this time. The shopkeeper said flatly.

"How to try?" Nian Hao snuffed out the cigarette butt, turned his head and found that the shopkeeper was no longer there, but replaced by an aunt who was about fifty years old, knocking melon seeds over there.

"Nian Hao. A young girl shouted excitedly to herself. Nian Hao turned around, but found that his body was extremely heavy, and looked for the sound.

"Running so fast! I thought you were lost. The girl panted, she gasped a few times, and casually snatched the Coke in Nian Hao's hand and drank most of the bottle in one go. "Cold Coke is so comfortable. ”

With ripped jeans, a jacket with a half-turtleneck, and a pair of miserable white canvas shoes, she looked at herself reflected from the clear glass of the refrigerator cabinet. The face is still his own, but the clothes have changed. Is it just that the clothes have changed? Nian Hao squinted his eyes and looked around the week, and the crowd that was sitting in twos and threes before was still the same. But why is the body so heavy?

"What's wrong?" the girl half-squatted down, touched Nian Hao's knees with both hands, and asked with a smile: "Just run this little way, I can't bear it." ”

The girl's face is very similar to Sun Qian, but she is never Sun Qian. Nian Hao said with questions: "Sun Xintong?"

Obviously, hearing this, the girl was a little unhappy: "What are you doing! ”

"Oh, it's still a senior in high school. Nian Hao said: "But the time has not come." ”

The girl named Sun Xintong shook her head and said, "What's wrong with you? I don't like it. ”

Nian Hao frowned and said, "What kind of person am I?"

Sun Xintong whispered, "Pretend to be stupid, what are you doing?" ”

"At such a time, it seems that I am pursuing you, and then you agreed to go up the mountain with me to play? Everything has inexplicably changed, but how it has become different, and he has determined the truth of the truth from the faint pain in his lungs. I've jumped into my memory, and whether this scene is true or not, I just need to continue to explore it.

Hearing Nian Hao's answer, Sun Xintong was obviously unhappy, she said, "You can do whatever you like!" With that, she stood up and turned around and left.

Nian Hao smiled coldly, groped in his arms for a long time, and didn't take out a cigarette. He also stood up and asked if there were any cigarettes sold in this shop, and the aunt of the store pondered for a while, took out a pack of Nanjing cigarettes, and said that there is only this, do you want it? Nian Hao nodded, got another lighter, opened the cigarette, and smoked it directly. The smoke entered his lungs, and the pain was incomparable, and Nian Hao couldn't help but half-squat down and cough for a long time. The aunt who sold cigarettes glanced at Nian Hao and didn't say anything. After a long time, Nian Hao regained his familiar feeling of cigarettes.

Everything has changed? It's funny. Nian Hao thought so.