How can I answer my sister's words, I can't answer, because that's the case, I can't even tell her that it's fake.

So I can't answer that question.

Lisa's voice shook my shoulders with a complete kind of anger, and she roared with a kind of rage.

"Tell me why this happened, you know that I hate such a woman very much, I can't forgive this woman for the rest of my life, don't you know what my mother left this person for? It's because of those bad people that Xiao San ruined the marriage, which led to my mother's life, you know that you obviously know that you have been friends with me for so many years, you know everything, why are you actually hiding me, why are you deceiving me in such a way, didn't you become your good friend at all?"

I kept shaking, my lips kept shaking, I actually didn't know anything, I really felt like I was really bad, bad at home, I actually deceived my friend to me with the greatest sincerity.

I know everything, I know everything, but I can't explain what I'm doing.

Lisa's voice was very high-pitched, and it was the kind of heart-pounding palpitations that came out of the fingernails of the head and fingernails deep through the glass.

The people next to me all leaned out to watch the two of us arguing, and I knew that I couldn't face my sister, and although I didn't want to hurt her at all, my voice was so small that I felt like a feather.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry! I really didn't mean to!"

I stood there like a fool, I didn't know what to see, I just felt that a fool didn't care about me at all, and my sister suddenly turned around and went straight back to the bedroom without hesitation, and slammed the door of this room loudly.

When I stood here on this empty balcony, I was really helpless, if Chongyang had some courage, I would have jumped from below, would it all be over?

I'm so damned, I don't have the courage to do this, I'm so cowardly, I can really be considered dead.

And my world was gradually blurred by my tears, and the tears that gently slipped made my face painful and uncomfortable, and no one dared to hit me anymore, and the wind blew on my face.

This invisible injury, like an iron rod, directly broke my backbone.

My eyes kept looking back, why did I look at me like that just now, I really hurt my best friend, I deceived my best friend, I hurt my sister's sincerity in the worst way, the worst truth.

I have no friends from now on, and henceforth I will be a lonely person because I have lied to anyone.

When the light was about to go out, there were still the voices of the aunts on duty in the corridor, and the girls who came back from school were chattering and singing, I don't know who was washing their clothes in the bathroom, and they all vaguely had a happy rippling youthful laughter.

And I don't have a character that exists anymore, the door has been closed to me forever, I can't stand here, or the whole building will look at me very strangely, I know that as long as the people on the Internet of this school understand all this about me, they will look at this with a very contemptuous eye.

I don't have the face to stand here, I can't face my classmates, I can't even face myself.

I don't even know why, for any reason I walked out of the school gate, I don't deserve to go back to the dorm room, I try to choose those places where there are no people, and walk under the dark corner of the mind.

When there are people, I run fast, and I am like a street rat.

When I walked out of this school gate, it was really another bustling world, I looked at the rolling traffic, I looked at the night scene of these bright lights, I looked at these bustling crowds, I thought about whether I should rush in without hesitation, then everything will be over, I will be directly crushed to pieces, blood flowing.

Then I will never face this again, I will end forever to find my father and mother, and I will never have to worry about anything again.

But I was very loose, I was really loose, and I just kept walking.

I didn't have a wallet, I didn't have anything of any value, there was a bus phone on the sidewalk, I went down and wanted to make this number, but I couldn't do it, because I didn't have a dollar on me, and I didn't have any numbers to keep, and in my mind's eye, I wanted to call it.

Thinking of my father, my mother, are you all right in heaven? Why did you just go away? Why didn't you wear it? Why did I leave me in this world, alone to face this bleak life.

I cried bitterly, I squatted under the shade of this tree, I squatted there and cried without accident, I bit my lip tightly, I tried to control my heart, I have no one in this world now, I know that I am shaking badly, in this noisy crowd, in this car whistling, in the sound of the bus arriving at the station, in the noise of the commissary for 4 weeks, these sounds are all gone, the grass and water generally hit me, like a myriad of noises, directly and unexpectedly hit my brain。

It's very fast, it seems to be very quiet, the silence is terrible, as if I am already in a static society, and there is no sound at all this week.

Even the car is silent, and all the images are silent, just like the silent movies of the old days!

I wanted to shout, but I couldn't, I had a lot of stuff in my throat, I wanted to shout, but I couldn't do it.

I wanted to run wildly through this street, but I couldn't take a step, and I was forever stuck in the desire to live in this lonely and lonely life.

Yes, all because of my damnation.

It's all my cool secret.

Life is very hard, I won't blame the sky and no tourists, all this was my choice at the beginning, and no one forced me to do it with a knife, all of this was agreed to by me from the beginning, this piece has nothing to do with anyone, it's about my own greed.

I smiled hard, I was eating as if nothing had happened, I was doing nothing, walking around in front of my classmates, I was nothing, telling the laughing youth version of the story when they went there, and I was casually performing my pure romantic characters in them.

In their eyes, maybe I was really just a little girl with no Chinese characters, but who would have thought that when this veil of mystery was lifted, it would be nothing more than a dirty robe full of lice.

The lie of the cut is like a colorful bubble, and it has finally been exposed.

This is the emperor's heart, I am the emperor who has no clothes on, self-righteous, in fact, I have long been caught in my own secrets, everyone looks at me with a contempt, and I recognize their eyes to trample on my last dignity.

I have no place to complain about my courtesy, because I have not wronged me for them, I have not wronged me at all, but I am to blame.

I don't know where I'm supposed to go, it's too big and too wide, it's a big world, but there's not an inch of earth that can hold me.

I don't know how long I was squatting there before someone finally called my name.

"Leng Shuiyue, what's wrong with you?"

I was a little like a dream, I really thought that I was back in the real world, where there was a voice, and someone was calling me.

I didn't even fantasize that Lisa suddenly chased me out of the dormitory, my sister had looked for me a few times before, but when I looked up, it was a female classmate I didn't know.

Asked me again.

"Leng Shuiyue, you don't care now, can you still hold on? You look like you're sick"

Next to this classmate stood a tall and thin boy, the two of them should have just returned from school outside, this is their typical romantic student couple.

And this female classmate, she looked at me with a look of enthusiasm.

"I'm sorry, I just saw you wearing this school uniform, I should be calm, it's also our school, are you from the foreign language department? Do you want us to send you back directly, your face is very pale, you are very worried outside alone, and you will encounter risks in the dead of night." ”

In fact, behind me is my proud college life, my campus used to be my dream for many years, this is a century-old famous school!

When I was admitted, I was so proud that I felt that the peak of my life should start here, and I was very glad that there was a school in one of the landscapes of my life.

But it wasn't until today that I suddenly realized that I was really sorry for this school, and I didn't have the shame to admit that I was a student of this school, and I felt that I had tarnished the honor of the school.

I feel sorry for the things I did.

That's what the girl asked me.

"This classmate is really, you don't seem to be in a particularly good state now, I think you want me to help, do you want to call your classmate to come over and have a contact information, which building do you live in?

I felt really bad when I looked at my sister like this, but I finally plucked up the courage and cheekily borrowed two dollars from her.

I said I wanted to call home, but I happened to have been out for a long time, so I didn't have any change, and I was in a hurry to call home.

The way I look may have reminded him of those words written on a paper shell tag on a street feeding a girl:

"Aunts and uncles passing by, please give me 10 yuan, I'm so hungry"