I've been suffering from insomnia all this time, I've been bothered by this problem very obviously, although I'm always awake, but I'm always aware that this painful feeling comes out, I'm dizzy every day, I even want to doze off when I'm walking, I want to fall asleep on the ground right away, but I can't sleep.

I also tried to take sleeping pills, but it didn't work for me at all, and I didn't dare to try to eat too much, so I was basically in a half-asleep state, which made you even more suffocated.

I feel like I'm really going crazy, only those who know how to have insomnia understand this kind of pain, it's really a mental illness, I feel like I'm suffering from this mental illness right now, I know this is this disease, I told myself not to think about it at all, but I can't stop my speculation.

Later, when we went to the embassy for an interview, I didn't have any energy at all, and I went to our school to draw a light makeup, trying to hide my two dark circles and a pale face, and I almost answered the question when my mind was very confused, and there was no way to go, and I was very clear and clear to answer what I wanted to express.

But I never expected that I would be able to interview with this strict ambassador, and I was inexplicably able to get the final visa, which means that my access to the dark place has been completely unimpeded, and I can already immediately see another journey in my life.

Next to the embassy is a very quiet road, and there are a lot of plane trees planted next to it, and I think this thing is one of the most beautiful cherry blossoms I have ever seen.

Later, after watching it for a long time, I realized that the cherry blossoms should not have grown up in this season, but should have been ginkgo trees.

It would be years before I noticed this strange problem, and I stood here looking up and watched for a long time, until someone called my name from behind: "Hello Cold Water Moon!"

She also stood under this factor wearing a pink long cotton dress, her hair was shawl, and she showed very beautiful and pure cheeks, if she didn't return to her innocent appearance when she made up, it was really very beautiful, and Chu Chu was moving, which made me feel a sense of pity for me.

I really looked at her in a trance, and now my mental state is very bad during this time, serious insomnia, let me see the blurry shadow of the people who are there, and when I look at such a light road here, I feel that the current Qianqian is actually very beautiful, the whole person is really a little like the most beautiful school flower when I was studying before, but sometimes I feel that she is too beautiful, just like a bird flying in the sky unintentionally wants to raise its arms and work hard, but unfortunately falls down。

I smiled at her and asked her, "What's wrong? Are you here too?"

She smiled and said to me that the bags were also very careless, and the appearance had always been very pure, as if they had been after recovering from a serious illness, very pure.

"No, actually, my parents have also decided, thinking that I should be able to travel outside, and maybe my state will recover a little better, so if I come here, I will get my visa certificate. ”

The two of us have been walking on this road, and the two of us have been silent, and we haven't said much, and there is very little traffic on the road, maybe it should be a noon time soon, and sometimes I feel as if the two of us are really walking on the same path of destiny.

She said: "I think the air outside is still very fresh, the fresh air that the intelligence is breathing is very good, and especially on this street, I especially like these plane trees planted next to it, and the ginkgo trees, which make me feel as if nothing really happened, the change is very quiet, and there is no one who knows you, you can walk freely and laugh freely." ”

Then she asked me, "Why did you come here to prepare to go abroad, do you want to marry this sign?"

I said, "No, I haven't signed yet, I came here this morning to participate in this interview, because the school gave me an exchange student qualification, this time is not particularly long, I think there is just a chance, just two years, maybe it may be advanced to a year, or it may not be decided now." ”

She smiled again and again, and looked at me with a smile: "Actually, I think you are very suitable to be a translator of this language, and I think you are very active and have the talent of this translation, no matter how we memorized words before, how hard we worked to find some foreign teachers, but the words that we really memorized and this understanding of this language is not at all up to your level, and you are very good at a grasp of a practice in the language, I think you are very suitable for this content in this regard, do you remember?" When we were in the college entrance examination, your score surpassed me, close to 80 points, a full 80 points, I really tried my best. ”

To be honest, I really don't know what her college entrance examination score was that year, in fact, I don't think I thought he would remember my college entrance examination results, and he should know a lot about my first information.

What a very tangled emotion it is when you know so much about your competitors, in fact, I understand that I laugh at such emotions and we don't say anything.

She tilted her head to look at me, like we were back in the happy days of high school, and she had a very active mood on her face.

"Actually, you didn't know that you were still a representative of mathematics in the past, do you remember? In the past, our mathematics teacher would ask you to go up with Han Liu to do this math demonstration every time, and then give us a correction and explain to us, when I saw this handling there, I was very envious, I am sure that many of our classmates are very envious of the two of you to go up and be a little teacher. ”

It was a long time ago, I even slowly lost some vague memory, I remember that Han Liu and I were really standing in front of this lecture, and we were constantly PK in this language rhythm, to see whose method is simpler, and we quickly practiced this method to see who can conquer each other more, yes, how long ago it was, it seems to have been experienced for a long, long time, so long that sometimes whenever I think of this past, I am a little in a trance.

It seems that this period of time is really just a matter of my last life, I just reincarnated in this life and forgot to drink Meng Po soup.

Qianqian said again.

"Leng Shuiyue said in my heart, every time I see you and Han Liu together, when you stand side by side on that podium, I think you should be very tired in spirit, in appearance, and in learning, yes, you are really talented and beautiful, you have to help each other in learning, and you have each other's mutual liking each other, I think you can go further, and you can be like-minded, and you can go on with affection and love for a lifetime, there should not be any waves. ”

I watched in amazement at the scenes she described, I dare to swear I never knew that she had ever cared so much about this relationship, so this relationship between me and Han Liu, I actually said it, I used to be very, very envious, she and Han Liu were Romeo and Juliet.

She asked me, "Do you hate me very much, do you already hate me because of this, do you think that after I have done so many bad things, you think I should be your friend again, right? Do you think I am a bad woman, and I will destroy your sincere feelings and hurt all of you in the future?"

I smiled wryly, but I shook my head anyway.

"No, Qianqian, in fact, this matter has nothing to do with you at all, because at the beginning of this process, there were some problems between me and Han Liu, a misunderstanding between us, because we would exist without you, because at that time we were really too young, too independent, too self-righteous, sometimes we don't know how to love each other at all, and later I found out that the problem between me and him was not because of you, but really because we ourselves had cracks”

She smiled and said to me with a cheerful laugh.

"Actually, I think you are really a very kind person, I have always envied you before, but even if you are deceiving me to say this, but when I hear this, I at least feel a little happy in my inner conscience, I don't feel very scared because of this thing, if it is really like you say that. ”

"Actually, you really don't have to feel too guilty about this kind of thing, this thing really has nothing to do with you, I tell you, because I was an orphan when I was young, I just lost my parents at that time, I am very special, I think a lot of things, and I am very fond of getting out of it, but I know that I have a very good friend, and her name is really Lisa. Lisa was engaged in enlightening me, making me very cheerful, and in fact, I really wanted to be like this all the time, and when I was in high school, I really wanted to be your good friend, how popular you were with your classmates at that time, I felt like I was a little bird in this loneliness, I couldn't go into your group, I was really envious. Because of how you have tried to get everyone's intention to get everyone's joy, but I really can't do it alone. ”

I crackled in one breath and whispered all the words in my heart, I felt very relaxed in my heart, although these things are very sharp and sour, but at least these things are real to me, I don't know how many opportunities I will have to meet Qianqian in the future, at least I must seize this opportunity now and say these things.

Qianqian smiled after hearing this.

"Leng Shuiyue, in fact, don't say that when you were young, what kind of age difference did there be between the two of us, I am only 22 years old this year, and you are only 21 Shuiqiao, you said that, as if you have really experienced life, for most of your life, it seems to be a little old-fashioned?"

I smiled wryly: "But I don't know why, I don't always feel like I'm only 21 years old, as if I feel like I've been a long, long time, I feel like I've got some gray hair, and I even feel like life is too short sometimes." ”

Qianqian was also stunned for a moment, and stopped and came out to look at me, slowly probing your tone, very sincerely: "Actually, I'm not the same, sometimes I really feel that I've walked through thousands of mountains and rivers, and I now feel that I'm gray-haired, I should be rare."

If we put these two sentences on this forum, we will definitely be scolded by others, maybe we are really that kind of teenagers, who don't know the taste of sorrow, and who is sad and sad.

The time of youth has left us farther and farther away, and we really have an inexplicable sigh for our youth, and sometimes even our eyes have become less young and sharp.

I sometimes suddenly feel that maybe my best youth and the best glory in this half of my life have passed, and I don't know how I should live the second half of my life.

I even thought that I was going to live like a year, and I even thought that I would still be happy? Where is the source of my happiness, I am confused, maybe I am really going to live a life of stealing?

Qianqian suddenly stopped, looked at me very seriously, and asked me: "Leng Shuiyue, can you tell me something, I really want to know who will post this thing about my illness on the Internet, I really want to know, this is very important to me." ”

I was stunned for a moment.

She said: "Actually, I shouldn't ask you such a question, please don't misunderstand, I know that this matter is absolutely impossible to be you, and it is definitely impossible to be Han Liu." Because only the two of you only know about me, only this matter is independent, and it is impossible to know it from the hospital to ensure that it is dense, but I want to know who pushed me into that corner with such a black hand, and must have made me die, who hates me so much. ”

I don't know whether to tell her or not, but I think that instead of making her entangled, this kind of thing should be told directly, I hesitated for less than half a second, and I finally told her: "Ouyang Feifei." ”

And this Qianqian didn't have the very resentful and scolding look I imagined, or with a very resolute expression, but at the moment she even smiled bitterly at me.

"Look, in fact, I have already guessed that Ouyang Feifei should have done this thing, she actually asked me to say that you are a whisper, and asked me to post all kinds of your remarks on the Internet, and that time I really helped her to post those posts on the Internet, I'm sorry Leng Shuiyue This thing really used to be done by me, I caused so much harm to you, I don't know how to say this, I'm really rubbish. ”

I still feel sad about the essence of this matter, who doesn't care about their reputation, who doesn't care about their reputation, of course I will, but especially this matter is in the past, I can't blame her, because she was also in the government at the time, maybe the madness of love, she will also be heartbroken.

I finally smiled at her: "Actually, there is no need to discuss the past anymore, because this kind of thing has become the past and it is not very meaningful to discuss it, and everyone will have some confusion." ”

After Qianqian agreed, we walked to the front of this crossroads, the sun was too hot, and it made people feel that it was really uncomfortable to go on under this beautiful sun.

She said to me, "It's too hot, I'll go home from this side first, I really feel very happy today, I'm very happy, I can tell you a lot of things from my heart, these words have been suppressed in my heart for a long time." ”

I also smiled and said, "Yes, I'm actually happy with this for me, really." ”

She smiled a few words and walked to the left, I knew that at a corner on the left, I would take a subway car and quickly reach her house, she had just walked a few steps, suddenly turned to look at me, and beckoned to me: "Leng Shuiyue, goodbye, I wish you a smooth journey." ”

"Goodbye, so are you!"

I will never forget that under the noon sun, in this sunny day, I remembered this beautiful face, which was once the most beautiful little flower in our high school days.

It was in the sunlight that her natural dress was plated with a layer of golden gold edges, just as pure and flawless as her smile, and the sun was shining.

Later, I kept making a judgment, if I hadn't been able to tell her that that person was Ouyang Feifei, maybe this thing might not really happen, maybe many things would have become exactly the same as before.

But I really don't know if I was wrong or right when I told this answer?

Maybe I shouldn't have told this answer, maybe I subconsciously really hated this Ouyang Feifei flower, and I blurted out this answer without surprise.

Yes, I told Qianqian that I hurt her forever.

Sometimes when you make a decision, you regret it, you can't go back to it, everything you have becomes a fact, and then I know that language is really like a dagger.

I can't regret it, but can this thing solve this plan? This thing can recover Cheng Qianqian, really can't.

Once again, the gears of fate were unleashed by the thunderous fury of me, and once again I suffered such a blow!

I don't want to hurt anyone, but I just did such a thing, and I sincerely bless Qianqian to be happy and safe.

It backfired, and if everything was to be chosen again, I'd rather not tell her the truth.