"I live in your world, you live in your own world, originally the sun under the same sky, it reflects on you, but I have become your shadow. ”

"I wanted to be different from you, so I opened my arms and let the sun shine on me completely, and I turned my head to find that you had done the same, and I was still your shadow. ”

"After all, looking at you like me all the time, it's not a one-man business to do anything. What you understood when you were a child, I only realize it now. ”

"Brother, you are a smart person, and I always can't understand what you do. ”

"You chose this path to redeem her. Today, I will do the same thing and give her a clear life. ”

He muttered to himself, and ran toward the place where she had sunk, toward the rising sun.

He disappeared from the sea for a while, and when he came out of the water, he carried her dying on his shoulders.

He lay her down on the sand, his ears close to her pale face, and he heard a faint snort.

He pressed her chest repeatedly with both hands, and then gave her artificial respiration, and after a period of first aid, she suddenly choked on a large mouthful of seawater.

She coughed desperately, and when the cough subsided and her sanity returned, "Why do you want to save me?"

"I watched you die in front of me, and what difference is there between you and you in the past. ”

"In the past, I just watched Xiaoxue being ......"

Speaking of this, she shook her head, "You have saved me now, can you save me for the rest of my life? Can you stop me for a while, can you stop me for the rest of my life?"

He didn't answer her, just smiled indifferently.

"It's really hard to die in the water, I'll change it next time. ”

She got up to leave, but he took her hand.

"Leave me alone, okay? let me go, I don't want to go over and over again. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and I didn't want to be tortured physically. ”

She withdrew her hand from her pincer-like palm, and picked up the yellow sand-stained hat from the ground, which she fastened to her head and strode away from him.

"If you want to get out of here, take off the hat on my head first!"

She paused, "Why should I listen to you?"

"Because you don't need it at all, it's a burden to you!"

She was puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"In the summer it can't shelter you from the rain, it's better than an umbrella. In winter, it can't block the wind for you, and when the wind blows, you have to hold it down with your hands to prevent it from being blown away. ”

"You're not a star, you're not a criminal, and you're not afraid to meet people. You are so beautiful that you don't need it to decorate yourself, it obscures your brilliance. ”

"You don't need it, but it needs to be attached to people like you. Don't think that it gives you security, gives you comfort, and it doesn't give you anything. On the contrary, it blocks your vision, blinds your eyes, makes you unable to see the world, makes you unable to see yourself clearly. ”

"It survived, but you died. ”

"Throw it away, take a good look at the dawn, take a good look at the road ahead, take a good look at the people around you, take a good look at yourself. ”

"Tear it up, trample on it, kick it away at the last moment! If you don't dispel it, it's like a cloud over your head, hazing your life, ravaging your life, tearing your life apart. ”

"If you want to get out of here, I can stop you, but only if you take it off. ”

She replied indifferently, "I don't understand what you're talking about, a dying person, what else to talk about in life." ”

"Then say something you can understand, don't forget, you still have the father who gave birth to you and raised you and loves you! Consider him, he has lost a daughter, it is painful enough, can you still let him be left alone for the rest of his life?"

"He knows that Xiaoxue was killed by me, how do you let me face him?"

"It's better than letting him bear the blow of losing two daughters in a row alone...... If you respond to the blow you with suicide, can he not forgive you? ”

She lowered her head and said nothing.

"If you commit suicide like this, you will go directly to hell, and you will never see your sister living in heaven. ”

She was horrified.

"Don't you want to see her again?"

She buried her head deeply and shook her head vigorously.

"You've already died, and you've killed the cruel 'sister' of the past, so live for your sister and finish her unfinished life for her. ”

She grieved.

"When you met her again in heaven after living this life with kindness, you said to her without shame and with your chest up, 'Your sister and I, I have made up for the second half of your regretful life'. ”

She cried out with mixed joy and sorrow, "I will, I will!"

He walked up to her and held out his hand.

She took off the hat on her head and handed it to him, "You knew from the beginning that I was Xiaoyu, right?" ”

He took the hat and replied lightly, "Yes." ”

"So your ultimate goal today is to let me let go of the baggage of the past and make me live authentically, right?"

"That's right. ”

"You let me go through the darkness of my heart, let me go through the baptism of 'death', and make me 'reborn', am I right?"

"That's right. ”

"What kind of man are you?"

"A man like him. ”

"What about you...... Then will you be like him, like he accompanies Xiaoxue, with me?"

"I will. ”

"Can you witness my reform, and will you accompany me on the rest of the road?"

"I can. ”

She hugged him tightly.

He also put his arms around her.

He said to her, "He went to that world to be with her, and I will stay in this world with you." Didn't you just ask me, 'Can you stop me for a while, can you stop me for the rest of my life?' I tell you, I can!"

......

A few days before he threw himself into the sea.

He told him, "If you have a secret with one of the twins, you will never be able to face the other." ”

He asked him, "The secret you're referring to is about Xiaoxue?"

He nodded, "Since Xiaoxue's accident, she can't face up to the fact that she was insulted by the wicked. She is a girl with a strong temperament, and she will never be able to get over this hurdle in her heart when she suffers such humiliation. She couldn't escape, she was embarrassed...... The only way to get rid of it is to fantasize about being a sister who is as white as jade. ”

He also nodded, "Since Xiaoxue's accident, Xiaoyu has also been the same. She could not escape her guilt and was condemned by her conscience all the time. She couldn't escape, she was embarrassed...... The only way to get rid of yourself is to fantasize about yourself as a sister who is pitied by a thousand people, not a sister who is spurned by everyone. ”

He said, "Then, I'll go with Xiaoxue, and Xiaoyu will be handed over to you." ”

He retorted loudly, "You can't face the other, but you won't die with this one." ”

"You don't understand the horror of AIDS. ”

"No matter how terrible AIDS is, it can be controlled. ”

"This disease not only destroys people's bodies, but also destroys people's minds...... Like her, I have a reason to leave this world. ”

"As a fellow brother, I really don't understand what's going on in your head!

"All I can say is death if caught, death in prison, and I'd rather die by her side. ”

"I can understand why you have to kill Brother Guang, why do you have to kill the fifth and sixth children! Won't it be over if you let their father deal with it! You love her too much, you see her like that, you are too angry! Because of your love, you hate yourself, so you have to do something!"

"How I wish I could turn back the clock. ”

"Where do you want to go backwards, the day she had an accident?"

"Back in the day we first met their sisters, so that we no longer knew them. ”

"The reincarnation of time, no matter where you go backwards, you can't change the belonging of fate, and the things that are destined will reincarnate in us sooner or later. ”

"Perhaps, you are right...... People can't get out of samsara, they can only leave samsara...... I want to go and spend time with her sooner. ”

He burst into tears, "It's been so long, and now that you've suddenly appeared, can you say goodbye to me?"

He also shed tears, "I want to be a brother with you in the next life." ”

"I don't want to, I'm so tired, my heart is broken. ”

"Take good care of yourself and take good care of her. ”

"Take care of her, how do you want me to take care of her, she can't even tell who she is!" he shook his head vigorously, "I'm so tired, I'm so tired." ”

"Only you can save her now, if even you give up, Xiaoxue's spirit in the sky and I will not be peaceful. ”

"She's so smart and suspicious by nature that I don't know what to do. ”

"If you want her to face her living self again, the most effective way is to give her a baptism of 'death'...... She will learn from the pain, after all, she still loves Xiaoxue and 'Chenzi Mountain'. ”

"So how do you do that?"

"You first persuade Xu Shiya and Wang Meng and ask them to cooperate with you. ”

"Wang Meng is easy to do, how can Xu Shiya convince her? Maybe she still hates us. ”

"There must be one of us who wants to meet her in the name of 'Chen Zifeng', and the most suitable person should be me. I will go to her, and I will die to make up for the sins we have committed against her. After so many years, it can be regarded as an explanation for her. ”

"You're right, she hates Chen Zifeng, which means that she still can't let go of Chen Zifeng...... It's been so long, and I haven't heard that she has a boyfriend again, so it's time to help her face her life again. ”

"Well, Xu Shiya's work is entrusted to me. ”

"Then the three of us make a play, and as the protagonist of the play, I will help her relive the past, so that she can recognize herself from the past step by step...... I believe that she will repent from her past regrets...... I believe that your departure is also the reason for her to live well. ”

"Looks like you already know what to do...... Brother, then I'll go, you can accompany Xiaoyu well, I'll go with Xiaoxue. ”

He said to the "self" in the mirror, editing the text message that needed Xu Shiya's cooperation:

It's almost the New Year, I'm not sending this message to block you, none of us have a hard time this year, I just hope you can live as clear as I do. You should have had this experience, some people know him and want to distance themselves from him, but they get closer and closer, and some people, in love with him, finally become a hurried passerby in our lives. One of them met me today, and he came to apologize to me, saying that he lied to me......

......

When he went to the villa, the weather forecast said that it would rain heavily in the evening.

The rainstorm was just right, a brief thunderstorm, and then the rain cleared up, just as he had envisioned the way for her.

That night, when he came out of the villa in the heavy rain, he called Xu Shiya, "When the time is right, send her a text message." ”

He went to the beach and said to himself at the raging sea, "This sea should be where you die." ”

He wondered if he was naïve, he had just picked up his hat on the beach, maybe he hadn't chosen this place. It's entirely possible that the hat happened to float here from somewhere else, on the beach closest to the villa, and happened to be picked up by himself.

He took out an empty ash jar from his school bag and threw it into the sea, and then took out the remaining hat from his school bag and threw the hat he had abandoned into the sea.

He looked up at the vast expanse of the sea, and since his hat was floating here, and her ash jar was floating here, this was the place they had chosen. He had thought about it like this, she had been sad like this, and when she saw it, she would feel the same way.

He waited for her arrival.

While waiting, he suddenly found that the empty ash jar had drifted away, but the hat had floated back!

He didn't understand why?

He ran over to retrieve the hat, took off the one on his head and compared it to it, and he couldn't see anything wrong with it.

He put his sea-stained hat into the sea, and the hat floated back again.

He couldn't believe the scene in front of him, and it floated back again, back to his feet, and the hat seemed to be reluctant to give up on itself.

He laughed, "It's so weird!"

After a long wait, he found a game to pass the time.

Before he bent down for the last time to pick up his hat, he caught a glimpse of her.

She is finally here, it seems that Xu Shiya has succeeded!

He couldn't shake off the strange hat to prevent her from seeing it, so he had to merge it with the hat on his head.

......

A few days before he threw himself into the sea.

He found Xu Shiya, and he bowed his head to Xu Shiya and repented, "I have told you the truth of the past, our brother has committed unforgivable deception and sins against you...... I know that the grudge in your heart cannot be dissolved in a few words, and I will pay you back with death!"

Xu Shiya looked at the tears left in his eyes, and stood up angrily, "The past is my own choice, and it has nothing to do with anyone! I have the courage to fight a moth to a fire, so I choose to follow myself! I don't need anyone to apologize to me, because your apology will only show that I made the wrong choice!"

Xu Shiya's eyes also became rosy, "Don't apologize to me, I'm just young and impulsive, and every young person will be impulsive! I don't need your apology or his apology, when I am with you or with him, I have a happy story in my heart, and your apology will make the story I recall worthless...... Don't apologize to me, don't make my youth look stupid, don't let me regret when I think back to the past. ”

Xu Shiya wiped the hot tears on his face, "If you want to ask for my forgiveness, then live well...... When I look back, the hero of the story is still in this world. ”

He shook his head slightly, "I told you the truth of the past, don't you understand? I killed someone, killed three people...... It is better to die in prison than to choose your own death. ”

Xu Shiya shed tears of unbearability and reluctance, "I know that I can't keep you, but I can't change anything." ”

"The only thing you can do is to face your life again. ”

"Do you know that what you just said is exactly the same as what your brother said...... To be honest, even if you stand in front of me now and tell me the truth about the past, I can't tell who you are in front of me. ”

He sighed deeply, "To be honest, I'm not sure who I am...... According to you, he has sought you. ”

"He texted me the other day, I'll show you. ”

He carefully read the contents of the text message, and after a while, he said lightly, "If a person chooses to commit suicide and leave a suicide note, can he still say goodbye to his relatives face-to-face? I have no intention of meeting him, let alone telling him that I want to see you." ”

"He asked me to help deceive Xiaoyu, saying that you found me, and he wanted me to cooperate with him......"

"He wants to save Xiaoyu," he smiled, "he can't even tell who he is, and he has to save others." ”

"How do you know he can't tell who he is?"

"Because...... I can't figure out who I am. In the past, we lived in lies, often thinking of ourselves as each other, but we wanted to be ourselves again...... I want to wake up from the lie, but he tells you to keep making up the lie and keep yourself in the lie. ”

"After countless years of back and forth, he was completely confused. ”

"He's not confused, but he's mentally underwhelmed too much...... Knowing that I killed someone because of Xiaoxue, he was also in a state of collapse when he was alone, and he forgot his true self. ”

"What about you, and you've forgotten who you really are?"

"I ......," he shook his head, "I don't dare to make up my mind...... The only time I'm awake is when I'm face to face with him...... I made the decision to leave him, and it was impossible to see him again. ”

He buried his head, "Our brother has also committed a mistake against you, what can you do if you can tell the difference? You can treat him as me, and treat me as him." ”

"And then just live in such a mess, isn't there? Is there no other way?"

He thought for a moment, "I don't matter, help him." The only person who can make him sober is Xiaoyu, who treats herself as Xiaoxue, and only she can remove the spell in his heart. ”

"What do you mean?"

"When he wakes up Xiaoyu, it is also when Xiaoyu wakes him up. ”

......

When he went to the villa, the weather forecast said that it would rain heavily in the evening.

The rainstorm was just right, a brief thunderstorm, and then the rain cleared up, just as he had envisioned the way for him.

He chose to throw himself into the sea that night.

Before throwing himself into the sea, he sent a text message to Xu Shiya: Please tell him, I am leaving, by the sea in the villa.

......

She let go of his hand and looked at him affectionately, "So, are you who have been with me for the rest of your life, is it Chenzishan or Chenzifeng?"

He looked at her suspiciously, "I've talked so much about the past, can't you tell who I am?"

"Is it that I can't tell the difference, or are you not telling the difference?"

"Of course it's you. ”

"You have never taken the initiative to confess to me who you are, I want you to tell me personally, is the person who will accompany me in the next life Chen Zishan or Chen Zifeng? I want you to say it word by word. ”

He hesitated, he suddenly felt that some memory in his mind was disconnected, where the problem was, and he had no clue for a while.

"What's wrong? You don't even know who you are? Can you heal others, but can't you heal yourself?"

He secretly clenched his fists, "I'm Chenzi...... Mountain. ”

She snatched the hat that he was holding tightly, and she found the gap where the two hats were glued, and separated them at once, "Sure enough, they are exactly the same, and today I finally saw them at the same time." ”

She looked at the two hats in her hand carefully, and she couldn't see any difference, "Seeing these two hats at the same time is like seeing you two at the same time." It is as difficult to distinguish between you two as it is to tell whose hats belong to you. ”

"You should know which hat is yours and which is his, right?"

"When put together, the inner hat is mine, and the outer hat is his. ”

She looked at the hat on her left hand, "This one is yours?"

He nodded.

"The two hats follow different people, each with its own owner, and each with its own memories," she spread out the two hats in front of him, "come, choose one, throw it away!"

His heart trembled suddenly, "I ......"

"The reason why you are confused, why you can't distinguish yourself, is because you keep the memories of two people in your mind at the same time! Your brothers are completely different beings, but you have one head, of course you are confused! Now, you must choose one and abandon him!"

"Why should I listen to you?"

She used his words to answer the question she had asked, "Because you don't need him at all, he's a burden to you!"

He looked at the two hats in her hands reluctantly, "I...... Which one should I throw?"

"Don't ask me which one you should throw, you should ask which one you should be!"

He hesitated, and after two minutes, he still couldn't make a choice.

"I'll count the last ten, and if you don't make a choice, I'll throw away both hats. ”

She didn't wait for his statement, and directly began to count down, "ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two......"

He closed his eyes and said in a low voice, "Xiaoyu is really Xiaoyu, so I like to count down to others." ”

With that, he pointed to her left hand.

She nodded in satisfaction, and then threw the hat in her right hand into the sea.

He took the rest of the hat and turned to look at the one that had floated away from the sea, and he let out a long sigh of relief, "It's so much easier." ”

He looked at her, "How do you know this method?"

She didn't respond to his words, she just bent down to pick up the phone that was thrown on the beach before throwing into the sea, she didn't dial any number, she just picked up the phone and talked, "He made a choice. ”

His familiar voice came from the phone, Xu Shiya's voice!

"Which hat did he choose?"

She replied on the other end of the line, "He chose his own." ”

"I'm sure who he is. ”

"I'm sure of that, too. ”

She didn't dial the number to call directly, which means that her phone is on call, which means that his conversation with her is under Xu Shiya's monitoring.

He looked at the phone in her hand and suddenly understood one thing - if people really choose to commit suicide, they will not care about things outside their bodies. Before she walked into the sea, she deliberately threw away her mobile phone, in order to prevent it from being soaked in seawater, and in order to maintain some kind of contact with Xu Shiya.

He was amazed, "You didn't choose to kill yourself out of guilt...... You're playing me according to my routine!"

"I thought I had done everything for you," he then laughed self-deprecatingly, "but I was fooling myself into your ways." ”

"No matter what, I did it, and you did it," she said, taking his hand, "we have all found our true selves, and the lies of the past are gone, so let's face the road ahead...... Is it okay, Chenzifeng!"

He smiled lightly, "Whose idea is this? It won't be yours, let alone Xu Shiya's." ”

"Your brother, Chenzi Mountain!"

"Sure enough, it's him! You tell me his layout. ”

"On the day he left, he deliberately asked Xu Shiya to tell you, and you will definitely rush over and see the hat he left behind. He deliberately hinted at your psychology with that hat...... He plunges you into extreme sorrow and at the same time plunges you into immense darkness. When you pick up the hat he left behind when he died, you fall into the 'trap' he laid for you. There are some people, only in the darkness of extreme confusion, that the mind strives to suggest that they open their bright eyes and seek the way to the light. ”

"Being in the sun, in the darkness of the heart, I can't see myself clearly, what can I do with light. ”

"This is what he said when he was in junior high school, but I didn't expect it to be used on you and me today. ”

He turned to the sea and looked at the hat floating on the sea, "He left me with a choice question, choose your own life, or choose his." ”

He smiled, "When I suddenly opened the eyes of my heart, the life I saw in my heart was my life, and I was who I was. ”

She smiled and said, "The morning wind is the morning wind, and the morning mountain is still the morning mountain." ”

He asked her, "Two hats are the choice you need me to make, I wanted to throw them away before you came last night, I wanted to make them die here, but why can't I throw them away? It always floats back to me, how did you do it?"

"It rained heavily last night, and the wind was a rare land wind, and no matter how far you lost it, the hat would eventually drift back to shore. ”

"Since it's Lu Feng, why did the ash jar drift away?"

She turned on her phone's flashlight and shook it at a person in the distance.

Xu Shiya, who was wearing a wetsuit, also responded to her with her mobile phone.

He suddenly came to his senses, "I chose to see you last night, this is not my choice at all, it was Xu Shiya who hinted at me! I remember Xu Shiya told me that when people are sober, rainy days are the most suitable, not to mention that her name is Xiaoyu." Last night was a very rare land breeze, and I completely ignored this detail, Xu Shiya, who was potentially underwater, moved the ash jar, which gave me the illusion of the sea breeze, and even made me have the illusion that the hat could not do without me!"

He continued, "Another point, your 'suicide by throwing yourself into the sea', Xu Shiya, who is potentially underwater, can also ensure your personal safety...... You can't be so thorough, it should be Chenzi Mountain's plan, right?"

She nodded.

He shook his head, "Did he tell you that he doesn't know who he is, does he?"

Her eyes widened, "How do you know?"

"His purpose is to let you find the answer with your own hands, to make your performance harder and more realistic, so that I don't see any flaws...... In this way, Chenzishan always knows that he is the only one who is in trouble. ”

Speaking of this, he rushed to the sea and smiled, "Chenzi Mountain, Chenzi Mountain, although your plan made me confirm who I am, it also put me in a deeper predicament...... If you really want to help me, you should stand here today, standing beside me and facing me...... The only person who can help me out of the predicament is you, not Xiaoyu...... It's a pity that you're no longer in this world. ”

He buttoned up his hat and turned his back from the sun-drenched sea.