There is a very popular film genre in the West, Midlife Crisis.

We don't pay much attention to it, the number of works is scarce, and the best one for so many years is still "Man Forty". "Hong Kong" and the like are a bit of a sideline, but in essence it is still a bullshit comedy.

"Love Call Transfer" is also a rubbing, and no one will watch it if it is seriously discussed. This kind of topic is not a matter in China, what kind of mid-life crisis, I am full of food.

One table, one on each side, sit far away.

The lights are dim, Wu Yujuan is eating fried noodles, watching TV series, used to and agrees. She didn't think there was anything wrong with this life, and there was nothing wrong with it.

Ge You looked at her, "Shall we divorce?"

"Hmm...... What?"

"Let's get a divorce. ”

"Why?"

"Not why. ”

"Got someone out there?"

"Nope. ”

She asked one after another, he denied it one by one, and finally said impatiently: "Forget it, don't leave." ”

This attitude made his wife angry, and Lao Ge was also forced to be anxious, and said, "Okay, then I'll tell you the reason." You always wear this black sweater at home, and the one that annoys me the most is the black sweater.

The toothbrush cup always has to be placed on the second level of the shelf, not even a single print. The toothpaste has to be squeezed from the bottom to the top, so what's wrong with me squeezing it from the middle?

Jajangmyeon twice a week, one for three days and one for four days. Just eat it, you have to watch this vulgar TV series......"

"Is that the reason?"

“......”

"Okay, leave and leave, leave and leave!"

Syllable!

The seven-handed big brother who had been ringing smashed against the wall and fell apart.

Ge You left home late at night with his suitcase, found Liang Tian's repair shop, and got a new call: "Every time you press it, you will have an affair, a total of ten chances." ”

He pressed the first button, and the rain poured down instantly, stopping the car on the street on a rainy night.

"Didi!"

A taxi approached, pressing both hands on the door at the same time, and he looked up.

"Wow!"

The audience, especially the male audience, made subtle voices in unison, admiring this setting.

The first and second floors seem to be two worlds, Jiang Wen and the others also frowned in unison, vulgar! vulgar is unbearable! How can Teacher Xu take this as a starting point?

Standing in front of Ge You is a tall and delicate woman who is pure and charming. The thin long skirt was drenched in the rain, and the curves were hot.

He gave way to the car, but his clothes were caught in the door, and the dog chewed on. The woman offered to invite him to the house.

Rainy nights, taxis, beautiful women, great backdrop for sexual encounters.

But this movie is just to tease the audience and make people really think that there is an affair.

Ge You played a sullen middle-aged man very brilliantly, secretly took off the ring, and answered shyly into the beautiful woman's house, and deliberately asked: "Aren't you afraid that I'm a bad person?"

"You look like an honest man, come in, wash your face and change your clothes. ”

The big peach is even more amorous, and I untie my hair and go to the bathroom.

The hand reached back, and the zipper opened. Pull it again, revealing the bra buckle at the back, and then fade away.

The camera went to the bottom, the long skirt fell to the ground, two white and round thighs, and then the bra panties were piled up, and the sound of water came out.

In an instant, it turned into the atmosphere of a video hall, and the audience looked forward to it, but Ge You was just about to take a step, his feet slipped, and the picture turned, returning to Liang Tian.

"Hey, what's going on?" he was confused.

"That's it, right?"

Liang Tian sat behind a counter plastered with all kinds of small advertisements, a white vest and big pants.

"I believe it, it's really an affair call. ”

Ge You was very obscene with excitement, and then dissatisfied: "Why did you get me lost? I was about to start." ”

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I thought that you would divorce Yan'er, and I would not be comfortable for a while, but I didn't expect to enter the state quite quickly. ”

Liang Tian filed something, which seemed to be half a heart made of iron, "You go on, don't bother." ”

The opportunity to go to bed for the first time is often the most straightforward, and the second time is to lay the groundwork.

Men ask each other to watch movies, eat, and high-end western restaurants. The woman skillfully cut a piece of steak and said with a smile: "I can't see that you are quite financially powerful." ”

"More than the top is more than the bottom, and it must be enough to feed you. ”

"Not necessarily. My attitude towards life is to consume, and money is for spending, not saving. There is one person who spends one person, and there are two people who spend two people, and you can't accept it......"

"No, no, I accept it, I'm not an antique. ”

Ge You paused and asked, "But I want to ask, do you think the deposit is not important?"

"Life is too short to be happy. I don't enjoy it while I'm young and beautiful, and it's useless to have more money when I'm old. ”

Big Peach leaned forward, seductive like a goblin, and said with a smile: "I gave you the opportunity to choose, don't slap your swollen face and become fat." ”

"I've never gained weight in my life, so where can I spend it. ”

He didn't care.

followed by a pop, and his face was gone.

A quick cut, outrageous purchases, cash swipes out of the ATM (already in the late 80s).

When he trembled and pinched the passbook and looked at the pitiful balance, he finally couldn't bear it anymore.

"I said, don't slap a swollen face and become fat. In fact, you are a good person, nothing more than poor. ”

"Oh!"

The second floor basically understood, it turned out to be this routine.

Lao Ge was obsessed with the other party's charming style, but he couldn't afford high consumption, so he was thinking about finding a home to live with, and pressed the second button ruthlessly.

So Xu Fan appeared.

The life is simple, the appearance and figure are not bad, and the housework is even better. Lao Ge was overjoyed for a few days, but soon found that this woman was a little too good at it.

"The dish soap is all blind, and you don't need that much of it. I evened out half of it, mixed it with some water, and used it the same way. ”

"Hurry up, hurry up! Oh, the vegetable market is the cheapest at this time, hurry!"

"Don't throw away the socks, I'll make them up for you and wear them." ”

Thrift is not a bad thing, Lao Ge endured patience, and when he accompanied a customer to eat Japanese food, revealing his patched socks, he couldn't bear it anymore.

"Home is enough to be at home, but don't be too vulgar, life has to be a little passionate. ”

"Then you keep pressing. ”

So the third.

Young and sexy, lively and fun-loving, can drive motorcycles, and is good at various sports, Xiao Cao Ying is baked.

There were too many people in the original version, and then there were no details, and I knew them inexplicably. This version of five, each of them has the process of getting acquainted, feeling good, having conflicts, and breaking up.

As soon as Cao Ying appeared, he slashed Ge You on a motorcycle.

A good 20-year-old girl took him to dance, skate, and eat KFC, which fully reflects the age gap. When Ge You escaped from the dance hall and slipped to a small restaurant to eat noodles, the audience laughed.

These can be overcome, the point is that he is insecure.

Girls are fun and have many friends, many of whom are of the opposite sex. Every time, Lao Ge would feel jealous, and then feel unstable.

Slowly, the audience also understood, but they were attracted by the plot and didn't think about it for the time being.

The TV showed the picture of the World Cup final, and the lonely back of Baggio. In the bar, a group of young people argued fiercely, and Lao Ge seemed out of place.

"How can you kick it off?

"I can kick it in!"

"Next!"

Cao Ying kicked out and hit him right in front of the door.

"Bang!"

"Hahaha!"

Seeing the reality stalk in the movie, the audience feels very strange, as if a certain sense of distance has been eliminated.

Ge You was smothered in the hospital, pressed the fourth button, and met the policewoman who came to do the physical examination.

The female policeman feels the best, that is, she is too principled, but she can accept it. But people don't accept it, and they don't get along with divorced men.

to the fifth, the most terrifying.

The psychiatrist played by Jiang Shan is like a pervert, always testing with quiz questions, and always analyzing men's inner thoughts through subtle movements.

"You want to go to my house, right?"

"What am I doing at your house?"

"You know better than I know that this is a trick used by you men, it is best to have physical contact, if you can't, you can keep it for observation, if you can get into bed, if you can't, let it go immediately.

You want to sleep with me?"

"No, no!"

"Then why are you chewing gum so hard? You just sniffed your armpits, do you have fox odor?"

"I really didn't want to sleep with you, my grandson just wanted to...... No, of course I thought about it, but I didn't think about it now!"

“......”

The audience looked at each other, such a terrible woman.

"Let's do a multiple-choice question. You are locked up in a house on fire and your escape route is:

A, Door. B, back door. C, Windows. D, jumping off a building. E, wait for the firefighters to come. ”

"Uh......"

Ge You scratched his head and said, "I'll wait for the firefighters." ”

"Oh. ”

Jiang Shan didn't say anything and continued to eat.

"What's the answer?" he asked.

"Your affair index is 15 percent. ”

............

After five women, Geyu returned to the repair shop.

He slumped on the couch, unloved: "You have succeeded in making me despair of women." ”

Liang Tian kept filing that half of his heart and persuaded: "Don't be discouraged, there are still five chances."

Through your previous choices, I have summarized it for you: you want to find a woman who is beautiful, can live, has fun, abides by the rules, and can understand you. ”

"Yes?"

"Yes, your mother. ”

"Why are you still swearing?"

"Only your mother can accommodate everything about you. ”

Ge You was silent, and said in silence: "Actually, my requirements are not high, I just want to find a normal and ordinary woman who can live a peaceful life with me, how can I encounter all neurosis?"

"Do you really know them? Do you really appreciate them?"

Liang Tian threw his heart away, lit a cigarette, and said, "Including your ex-wife."

How many times have you gone to the toilet without flushing, how many times have you flicked your cigarette ash in her favorite orchid, and how many times have you come home drunk in the middle of the night and gone drunk?

Have you ever understood and admired her? Have you ever reflected on yourself?"

“......”

The soft music sounded, and Ge You stopped talking, as if caught in a memory.

At last, he jerked to his feet.

"Hey, why are you here?"

"I'm telling you, you won't believe it, I ran into an angel land moon old, anyway, I don't know what the ......"

"No, you, Lao Zhang?"

Wu Yujuan was at a loss for her ex-husband who suddenly broke into the house, and shouted twice, and there was a person coming out of the back room, it was Zhang Guoli.

The scene was very subtle at one point.

Ge You was stunned and asked, "Who is he?"

"My husband, I'm married. ”

Wu Yujuan happily and unabashedly introduced, and said: "This, this is the one in front of me." ”

"Oooh!"

Zhang Guoli reacted and hurriedly shook hands: "Hello senior." ”

"Hahaha!"

The audience laughed.

Ge You was embarrassed to be forced to stay, it was still the same table, he sat at one end, and the two of them sat at the other end.

The lights are warm and bright.

"Senior, let me tell you, don't be polite, just like in your own home. My wife's fried noodles are a must, and I can't find a few in the whole capital......"

Wu Yujuan was complicated and proud, and said softly: "Say less, eat quickly." ”

"Okay, you serve the dishes to the guests!"

Wu Yujuan paused, and took a pair of chopsticks over, "I'm sorry, it's fried noodles again." ”

"No, it doesn't matter. ”

Ge You rummaged around with the fried noodles, lowered his head, and ate one bite at a time.

............

At night, under the street lights.

Liang Tian held a sign that read: Guide the way, catch the thief, catch the pervert.

Ge You sat on the road and said, "My wife...... My ex-wife is happy, really, really happy. ”

"Her happiness is her business, and your happiness is on the phone. ”

“......”

Ge You silently took out the phone, "Give it back to you." ”

"What about five more chances? Or I'll give you another one, I'll get a new batch, and I can press it two hundred times. ”

"No, thanks to you, I guess I'll be in love with my career for the rest of my life. Maybe you're right, there's no one in the world who is ready for you......"

He was expressing his emotion, when Liang Tian fanned his arm and suddenly flew up.

After Ge You finished nagging, he saw that the person was gone, and looked up and lay down, "You really know how to fly?"

"Go down to earth impartially, serve the people, and don't forget to burn a pennant!"

Liang Tian waved his hand and flew away.

......

The picture darkened, two years later.

At a campus singing party, the old wolf was singing: "Who marries the sentimental you, who comforts you who loves to cry......"

Live shooting, real singing club.

Ge You, who is attached to his career, has a mature temperament, and he is also neat, without the sloppy appearance of the past. He was listening to the song, and suddenly a late one came over, "I'm sorry, please let me go." ”

Liu Bei sat next to him, and the two looked at each other and pointed at each other.

"Lao Ge!"

"Becky!"

"Aren't you going to earn a knife abroad, when did you come back?"

"I've been back for a month, and I still want to find you. ”

After the old wolf sang "You at the Same Table", he said on stage: "Here is a new song, which is also a very special song." ”

"How many shop windows have I wandered and how many hotels I have stayed in, I will feel that the separation is not wronged......"

"How many years have we not seen each other?"

"Five years, right?"

"No, it's ten years younger. Aren't you going out after graduating from college?"

"yes, you don't seem to have changed at all, oh no, your hair is gone. ”

"Where's your wife?"

"I've been divorced for several years. ”

"Hey, that would be nice. It's just that you always bully me and always pull my braids. ”

"Your dad is still the dean of teaching, chasing me and beating me. ”

Just for this bit of vinegar, the dumplings are wrapped. Just for this little drama, I deliberately held a singing club.

"Transfer the warmth of one person to the chest of another, and let the mistakes made last time reflect on the dream......"

The two old classmates chatted and chatted, but stopped talking, looking at the stage and listening to the song, with a smile in their eyes.

And Liu Bei quietly opened the bag, took out the identical phone and threw it on the ground, and kicked it away.

"Love doesn't stop, and it takes how brave it takes to go to the earth. Don't be disappointed, it's for the most beautiful ordinary ......"