I lowered my head and touched her face, which had turned from red to purple after being beaten by me, and her tone became soft: "Yes, I know that you are bitter in your heart. But in the world, there are still many people who are as bitter as you, or even more bitter than you. They are also struggling to survive. They can only knock out their teeth and swallow them in their stomachs, and they don't even have a place to cry because no one will sympathize with them. So wipe away your tears, raise your head, although you don't know where to go, but it's always right to go, you can't just slump down, then you will really be stuck in the mud for the rest of your life. ”

"It doesn't matter if the dream is broken, just make another one. ”

Hearing my words, Ma Mingming nodded silently.

I pulled her up again.

It was already about two o'clock in the afternoon, and I thought Ma Ming must be tired and hungry.

He helped Ma Mingming to the other side of the road, and there happened to be an express hotel.

I opened a room at the front desk and let Ma Mingming walk in and lie on the bed.

I said go out and buy her something to eat, Wen Shaonian and I went with me.

By the time we returned, Ma Ming was already asleep.

There were tears in the corners of his eyes.

I didn't wake her up, I left some of the food at the head of the bed, and silently closed the door.

Come outside and sit down on the couch.

"You haven't eaten yet, have you? "I greet Wen Shaonian.

"Qiao Huanxi, I want to apologize for what I said before, in fact, you are not a killer, you are very kind, you can see from your attitude towards Ma Mingming. Wen Shaonian said to me.

"Don't show off your knowledge in front of me, didn't you think Chen Dan was very kind before? I'm not a kind person, I help Ma Mingming just because she helped me before, I'm just repaying the favor." ”

I replied as I ate.

Wen Shaonian was also eating with his head bored.

There was silence in the room.

Suddenly, Wen Shaonian looked up and asked me, "Qiao Huanxi, is your heart also bitter?"

I was stunned.

looked up at Wen Shaonian.

Look at his smooth forehead, bright eyes.

"What did you say?" I didn't understand.

"I'm asking, do you also have a lot of bitterness in your heart? I didn't understand why your personality is so complicated and strange before, but I heard the conversation between you and Ma Mingming just now, and I suddenly knew the answer. Because you are also a woman with a story, you have a lot of things on your mind, and you have had painful experiences before, that's why you see the world so thoroughly, even pessimistic, right?"

"Think of your attitude towards men, you ...... Before you...... Have you ever been hurt by a man?"

"If you have pain in your heart and you don't know who to talk to, maybe you...... Can you tell me...... After all...... After all, we're friends now......"

Wen Shaonian asked me cautiously.

I get it.

I understood what Wen Shaonian meant.

This is the first person who sees through my heart.

Bayberry does not.

Yang Jie didn't.

Sister Shui didn't either.

I was a little moved.

And a little excited.

For a moment, I wanted to tell Wen Shaonian what was going on in my heart, what happened to me, what I was going through, what was going on in my pain, what was going on in my scars, what I was feeling angry about, and what I couldn't look back on.

Just because, as Ma Ming and I said, in fact, I am also very bitter in my heart.

I will also be aggrieved, vulnerable, and helpless.

I also want to find someone to talk to, not to ask him to help me solve it, not to ask him to give me a shoulder to lean on, as long as he can listen quietly.

Listen to me.

Listen to me talk about my fucking life, how much struggle I have struggled to get to where I am today, how difficult it is.

Step by step, it's all blood and tears.

Because there are some things that have been held in my heart for a long time, and I am really depressed.

It's like a balloon about to explode.

But I don't have that kind of object.

I could only knock out my teeth and swallow in my stomach, and I didn't even have a place to cry because no one would sympathize with me.

Because few people care about my feelings.

Until the appearance of Wen Shaonian...... Until he asked, "Are you bitter in your heart?"

......

When I was in the factory before, Xiaofen, who likes literature and art, always recommended a movie to me called "In the Mood for Love".

She said that the male protagonist in it has something on his mind and doesn't know who to talk to.

That's why they all say it to the tree hole.

It's really good literature.

Wen Shaonian, are you my tree hole?

......

But.

I shook my head.

I didn't say anything.

Because there are too many words in my heart, I can't talk about it.

Because Wen Shaonian's eyes were too pure, I couldn't bear it for a while.

What a simple man this is?

I couldn't bear to tell him all the disgusting things that had happened to me, the dirty things.

I have seen so much ugliness and filth in the world.

Not only did I crawl out of the mire, I crawled out of the dung pit.

How much humiliation and humiliation I have suffered in order to be free.

I'm afraid to pollute his heart, his eyes.

If Wen Shaonian felt hurt in his heart because of my business.

Not only will it be painful, but I will also be miserable.

There are not many good men in the world, and they can't be in my hands, and another one has been ruined.

I'm still a little weak-hearted.

Yes, I'm a little weak-hearted.

I don't know what Wen Shaonian will think of me after hearing what happened to me.

Will you look at me so gently?

Will you still consider me a friend?

Will there be no mustard in my heart?

Will you hate me for being dirty?

Because I don't just come from a humble background, it's not that I don't have money or culture.

I'm not a pure girl anymore.

I've experienced nightmares with two men.

So I don't want to tell Wen Shaonian anything.

This is not deception.

For I didn't expect you to love me.

I also know I can't love you.

I just don't want you to look at me strangely.

Perhaps, I was overthinking.

Wen Shaonian is not a vulgar and snobbish man.

Perhaps after listening to what happened to me, he was not disgusted with me, but sympathetic, but pitiful.

That's something I can't accept.

You can not love me.

But I don't want you to pity me, have pity on me.

This is the bottom line of my Joe's joy.

This is my self-esteem.

This is my Qiao Huanxi can stand up straight, and talk to you Wen Shaonian on an equal footing, the last stubbornness.

Even if I don't want to be sentimental anymore, I can see that Wen Shaonian's feelings about me are really a little different.

And I treat Wen Shaonian, although I always speak coldly, even though I always say that he is a fool.

But I'm actually a little different from him.

I'm tempted to lie to myself.

But I can't fool myself.

In fact, I care a lot about what Wen Shaonian thinks of me.

So much so that I, who have always hated hypocrisy, was a little pretentious in front of Wen Shaonian.

Often insincere.

Even if I deliberately said something very out of line, was I deliberately attracting Wen Shaonian's attention?

I don't really know.

......

"You can trust me, and besides, aren't you selling alcohol in that bar now......? Are you still dating that man?"

Seeing that I shook my head, Wen Shaonian continued to ask.

"Wen Shaonian, do you like me?" I asked directly.

All of a sudden, Wen Shaonian's face flushed.

He neither admitted nor denied it.

After thinking about it, he said, "I...... I don't know because I ...... I've never been in a relationship......"

"You're not in a relationship, you're not a virgin, are you?" I faked surprise.

My question made Wen Shaonian's face even redder.

Looks like I guessed it.

"You are so inferior, you have a face that is a scourge, but you are useless. I continued to laugh.

Actually, it's not that I'm bored and making such meaningless jokes.

It's just that I'm going to deliberately make the atmosphere of my speech less emotional.

Don't let yourself get caught up in the emotional whirlpool from which you can't extricate yourself.

"Qiao Huanxi, I'm very serious about feelings! I never play with other people's feelings!" Wen Shaonian was a little embarrassed.

Then he looked at me again: "I...... I just think...... Think you're not ...... with other girls It's not the same...... I sometimes ...... Sometimes I think of you...... Every time I see you...... I...... I'm ...... Glad ......"

"Then you just like me a little, I don't understand, I'm ugly and have no money, what do you like about me?" I asked.

"You're not ugly!"

Wen Shaonian interrupted me firmly.

Then he said, "As for whether there is money or not, I never care. Actually, I don't know...... I...... How do I feel about you...... I was just...... Just want to be friends with you first......"

"That's good, it seems that you only like me a little bit, not very deeply, to the extent that you love me very much, you still have a chance to turn back. Listen to my advice, Wen Shaonian, don't like me, because you don't know me at all, and I won't give you a chance to get to know me. We don't fit. You think I'm different just because I'm different from the women around you. You feel a little fresh, you feel that I don't give you a hug, and you feel a little cold, which makes you feel very challenging. ”

"But once I really like you, then I will be no different from the other women around you, such as Chen Dan, and start to focus on you and try my best to please you. You will also think that I am vulgar and bored, and then you will see those places where I am not even as good as Chen Dan. You're going to regret being blind and think how can I be worthy of you?"

"And I will hate you for your coldness towards me, and hate myself even more. ”

"So Wen Shaonian, I appreciate your liking, but please don't like me anymore. Let's keep each other's best impressions. Don't try to hurt each other and hate each other again. ”

"We can be friends, but we can only be friends. ”

"Also, you are too simple, you must know that many women are very deep in routines, and they may be cold to you, just want to be indulgent, you have to be careful. ”

"Maybe I was tricking you before, just to make you think I'm different. ”

I persuaded Wen Shaonian bitterly.

In fact, I was also persuading myself.

Because I found that I had more contact with Wen Shaonian, I also became less determined.

I'm going to cut off his thoughts, and I'm going to break my thoughts.

Before I wasn't so heartbroken.

Let's stay at a safe distance from each other.

Occasionally worry, don't be entangled.

In fact, according to my character, I should say that we will break off from each other, never see each other again, never contact each other again.

But I was a little reluctant.

I also said that we can be friends.

In my heart I despise my entanglements, despise my weakness.

Contempt, in fact, in my heart, what I really feel for Wen Shaonian.

......

Hearing my words, Wen Shaonian became a little excited.

"Joe, you can not accept my liking, because I don't even fully understand my own mind. But you can't just belittle yourself just to reject me. ”

"What do you mean by not being worthy, and why are you not worthy?"

Looking at his excited face, I leaned back: "Wen Shaonian, you don't have so many questions, because I won't give you answers." ”

Because that answer will not only make you sad, but it will also make me sad. ”

"But you have to believe that what I said is true, and I really don't deserve you. ”

"When we're together, not only do I have to worry that you're going to dislike me, but I'm also worried that I'm getting inferior, humble, and less like myself. ”

"Although you see that I am just a very ordinary girl now, I have put in a lot more effort than ordinary people in order to live this ordinary life. ”

"I definitely don't want everything to go up in vain. ”

"So Wen Shaonian, letting go of others is letting go of yourself. ”

I told Wen Shaonian very seriously.

After that, neither of us spoke.

I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes.

Wen Shaonian held his cheeks with his hands, not knowing what he was thinking.

Time flies slowly, and it flies quickly.

I don't know how long it took, Wen Shaonian said sullenly: "Okay, let's be friends first, don't worry, I won't harass you, I won't do things that you are unhappy about." ”

"I will also sort out my heart and ask myself if I really like you, or if you say it, it's a freshness. ”

I didn't say anything, just nodded.

The reason for not speaking out is that I am afraid that I will not be firm.

I didn't care about saying, fuck it, you love me.

"Joe Huanxi, I'm sorry, I apologize to you!"

Wen Shaonian suddenly stood up and bowed to me to apologize.

I was really stunned now.

No matter how I looked at it just now, it was I who rejected him.

What does he have to apologize to me?

"Why did you apologize?" I asked.

"Because I'm so sloppy, because I myself don't know whether I like you or not, and how much I like you, it's very irresponsible to confess to you recklessly. ”

"I keep saying that I am very serious about feelings and will not play with people's feelings, but what I am doing now is something that is not serious about feelings. ”

"Joe Huanxi, you are right to refuse. If you don't refuse, you accept me, and I don't really like you that much, won't I fail you?"

"So I'm sorry, it's me who is too Meng Lang. ”

I looked at Wen Shaonian's serious expression.

"Wen Shaonian, you are really a good person. ”

Actually, I still haven't said a word.

Wen Shaonian, don't you be so good, okay?

Because in that case, I'm not sure how much you like me.

But I'm really getting more and more fond of you.

......

The room was quiet again.

I fell asleep in a daze.

I opened my eyes again and looked at my phone, it was 7 o'clock in the evening.

It's already getting dark.

The horse inside obviously didn't make any sound yet, he should be too tired and hadn't woken up yet.

I was in a quandary.

It stands to reason that I should have gone back, and by 8 o'clock, I had to go back to my employer's house.

This is contractually agreed.

But Ma Mingming's current situation......

After thinking about it, I walked to the balcony and called Zhu Dan.

"Sister Dan, can I take a day off tomorrow? There are some things that I can't go back tonight. ”

Zhu Dan didn't have a very strong reaction, and said hello.

Anyway, their family doesn't actually have a lot of jobs.

But before I hung up the phone, Zhu Dan suddenly stopped me.

"Qiao Huanxi, you don't go home at night, aren't you dating a man, right? Remember what I said to you, even if you are in love, you must take safety measures, and you must not get pregnant, this is my bottom line. ”

"Okay, I know Sister Dan. ”

I hung up with black lines all over my face.

......

"It's late, aren't you leaving?" I asked Wen Shaonian.

"You two, I'm a little worried...... Even if you don't make me like you, we're still friends, aren't we?" Wen Shaonian said to me.

I nodded and said nothing.

"Then I'll go out and open another room. "Wen Shaonian got up and was going out.

"Forget it, don't engage in all that formalism, it's not like we haven't been together anyway. You're here, I'm over there, bear with me all night. ”

I lay down on the single sofa and gave up the long sofa to Wen Shaonian.

"You're still here, it's comfortable here. ”

"No, you have long legs. ”

......

Nothing was said all night.

Early the next morning, Ma Ming woke up.

She looks a little better than she did yesterday.

Wen Shaonian bought breakfast and came back, it was a simple soy milk fritters.

The three of us ate together.

was eating with his head bored, Wen Shaonian spoke: "More than three years ago, when Zhou Jie was working in an investment company in City A in a neighboring province, he received customers from Hengtong Group, the provincial capital. In the business negotiations with the other party, he was appreciated by Cai Jianghai, chairman of Hengtong Group, Cai Jianghai thought that Zhou Jie was very capable, so he was poached to Hengtong Group. During this period, Zhou Jie met Cai Qiqi, the daughter of Cai Jianghai who served as the chairman's secretary, who was beautiful and golden, Zhou Jie felt that this was an opportunity to ascend to the sky, so he began to keep approaching and constantly winning the favor of this daughter. At the same time, it is to cut off all ties with you. Yesterday, it was their wedding, and today, at the headquarters of Hengtong Group, there was a large cocktail party, and Cai Jianghai will officially introduce Zhou Jie to his business friends as his son-in-law. Cai Jianghai loves this daughter very much, so his son-in-law will hold an important position within the group. Zhou Jie must have taken a fancy to this for a long time, so he did such a cold thing. ”

Wen Shaonian finished speaking.

"How do you know this?" I asked Wen Shaonian.

"I found someone to check it yesterday. Qiao Huanxi, you are right, since you want to make Sister Ma die, you should completely figure out the matter of that scumbag. Why did he play Disappearance, how did he and his current wife meet, and what was his reason for doing so. Otherwise, Sister Ma never understood the whole story, and she couldn't make a complete decision. ”

It turned out that Wen Shaonian checked these yesterday.