At that time, all I knew was that the doctor and my grandmother told my mother to have surgery.

The surgery went smoothly and was a success.

One day, my father suddenly said that he would take me to the hospital to see my mother, and I was very happy.

Military district hospital, ward.

At first glance, I saw my mother lying on the bed in the hospital, wearing the same "hospital gown" as other patients.

I ran over excitedly, threw myself into my mother's arms "as much as I could", enjoyed the unique taste of my mother, and asked in a childish tone, "Mom, is the operation done?"

Although, I don't understand what surgery means.

My mother kissed me dotingly, touched my head, and said to me with a smile, "It's done, my good son." ”

Then he picked up a glass-like container from the cabinet next to the bed, which was actually what we now call a larger measuring cup.

It contained a clear liquid similar to water, soaked in a long, thin, red strip, and my mother told me, "This is the vein that came out of my mother's left leg." ”

At that time, he just nodded ignorantly, and observed carefully for a long time curiously.

It was a relatively elongated, strip-like thing.

The whole body is black-red, with bubbles in the middle that are broken from the middle like a ballpoint pen lead, and there are also a number of small sections, straight, and unbendable parts, which, according to the mother, are the "culprits" of stasis in the blood vessels and clogging the blood vessels.

When I think about it now, there is always something wrong with it in my heart, and it is the blood vessels in my mother's legs!

"Where did the blood vessels come from?" I asked my mother as I looked at the blood vessels inside the glassware.

"Take it out of your mother's lap, and mother will show you. To satisfy my curiosity, my mother said as she prepared to uncover the gauze-wrapped surgical wound and show me.

I saw my mother supporting her whole body with both hands, and with the support of my father, she tried to move and sit upright, lifted the quilt, endured the pain and bent her left leg, and slowly uncovered the gauze wrapped around her left leg, revealing the marks of the knife on her leg.

The incision extends diagonally from the knee to the inside of the calf and is about four inches long. The stitched wound is like a centipede, a little creepy, and it can't help but make people shiver.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, cautiously touching my mother's knife.

"It hurts. But Mom was strong and able to hold up. At this time, my mother did not forget to educate me on the spot, "You are also a little man now, and you must learn to be strong when you encounter difficulties and setbacks!"

"Hmm!" I replied with a vigorous nod, "I want to be as strong as my mother." ”

Every "going out" is a significant opportunity for children to grow. Of course, it is not only the expansion of horizons, but also the improvement of children's mental maturity and experience.

The first time I saw the so-called "big city" in the mouths of adults, I felt the busy streets and the endless flow of people that can only be seen when the "exchange meeting" was in the market; the first time I took such a "long" means of transportation, the train, I experienced the excitement of waiting for the arrival of the train on the platform and the excitement of seeing the real train, and saw the electric fan that only the "rich family" can afford, which was actually installed on the top of the train car, and understood that the train is also "very rich" For the first time, I heard uniformed "police uncles and aunts" on the train pushing a cart in the middle of the aisle and shouting: "Beer, drinks, mineral water, cigarettes, melon seeds, eight-treasure porridge, trouble in front of you, lift your feet and ......." When did the policemen start selling things? The first time I saw a staircase that could "move" up and down by itself, it was not actually made of cement! And the first time I saw a person the size of an ant and a car the size of a matchbox mentioned in a textbook from the roof of a building......

On this day, in order to let me see "new things" that I had never seen before, my mother, accompanied by my father, took me to the roof of the inpatient building on crutches. It is said to be climbing, in fact, it is just going up one floor, and the rest of the floors have rolling ladders, only the top floor and the roof are connected by ordinary stairs. Otherwise, my mother would not be able to bear it with her crutches.

I vaguely remember that I gathered around my parents, running happily in circles amid giggles.

I had a good time, and my father still held my waist with both hands, and let me stand on the edge of the building to experience the grandeur of the high-rise building, and the condescending feeling.

"Mom and Dad, look! The car on the ground is so small, like a matchbox!"

"Mom and Dad, look! The people on the ground are so small! like ants!"

"Mom and Dad, the bird upstairs across the street is eating!"

"Mom and Dad, the clouds in the sky are moving!"

The child who enters the city for the first time is very curious about everything, happily looking around, everywhere is eye-catching, and his mouth keeps shouting about his whole world, his father and mother, as if he wants the "whole world" to share his happiness with him.

Although I was very excited, I still can't forget looking back at my mother in a hospital gown on crutches from time to time, and experiencing a carefree and happy life. This scene will never be forgotten for me.

This is the happiest scene in my memory, harmony, quiet, serene, how many times have I dreamed back to the moment when I was with my parents, there was no quarrel, no war, no violence, no fear of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing and being beaten and scolded, helping each other, respecting and loving each other, and loving each other.

This is the warm home that you longed for.

Before I got married, I met a counselor by chance, and I was very dismissive of the profession of counselor at that time. So I teased me with a playful attitude and asked him to do a psychological analysis for me. I silently made up my mind that no matter what he said, I would find countless reasons to refute him. But in the end, the results of his psychological analysis for me were just right to poke at the most painful place in my heart.

I believe he also saw what I was thinking at the time, and he was indeed a smart person.

He found a blank piece of paper and a pencil from his bag, and asked me to draw a picture by myself, whatever I wanted, with only one requirement, that is, to draw it carefully and attentively, which is very important for the analysis results.

To be honest, at that time, I just drew anything to deal with it, and I was already a very amateur in painting, so I didn't show my timidity. So, I simply drew a house and a moon on a blank piece of paper. The drawing time should not exceed twenty seconds.

Looking at the painting, he asked me, "Is this the sun or the moon?"

"The moon. I answered concisely and clearly, for fear that if I said the wrong sentence, he would seize the loophole and analyze it.

He looked at the picture and said slowly, "You don't feel safe. With that, he began to look at my expression.

！！！

Hearing this, I began to trust him a little, and naturally straightened up.

"The main reason is that your parents are at odds. He looked at me and continued.

I couldn't help but nod, "Go on." Began to believe his words.

"You are lonely and reluctant to talk to others about your parents and family. You have an extremely strong desire for the word home and want to be with your family. But so far, you've been less and more away from your family. As if to see that I was in a bit of a hurry, he uttered the analysis in my surprised eyes.

"How did you analyze it? It's amazing, what you said is not bad at all!" I gave him a thumbs up and said in amazement: "At first, my plan was to find you some fault no matter what you said, and sure enough, I have a specialization in the art industry, and I am convinced!"

He looked at me and smiled silently, without squeaking.

"You can't have investigated me, have you?" I asked jokingly.

"We didn't know each other before, and what's the use of me investigating you? You're not the president. He quipped.

He began to explain to me, "It's actually very simple, and it's the most basic part of psychology. ”

"Everyone has their own inner world, and he will always inadvertently express it through some channel such as words and paintings. That's why I let you draw with your heart. ”

"From a psychological point of view, what is expressed in the painting is what you lack or desire. A house without any embellishment can be understood as a home, and by emotional extension, it is a sense of security. There is only one house at night, which is a sign of loneliness and loneliness, which is why I ask you about the sun or the moon. The full moon symbolizes reunion, which is reflected in the painting, which is the desire for reunion. The combination of the three is what I analyzed. ”

"The first and second sentences of the beginning of the analysis I aimed to be tentative, so the interval was long, and by observing your expression, I wanted to determine whether my judgment was correct. And your expression just gave me the answer. ”

"yes......

"I'm sorry, but I didn't mean to get into your family affairs. Seeing that I was a little distracted, he explained apologetically.

"It's okay, it's okay......"

As he analyzed, at that time, I didn't want to talk about family affairs with others, and whenever I thought about it, I was always inexplicably disgusted and fell into my own demons......

I wanted to have a home, a place that didn't need to be gorgeous, and when I was tired, I thought about it.

I wanted to have a home, a place that didn't need to be big, so that I wouldn't be scared when I was frightened.

Who wouldn't want home, but there are people who don't have it, and they can only wipe their own tears with tears on their faces.

I envy him so much, he can go home after being injured, and I can only look for my home alone.

Although I have never had a warm home, but I have gradually grown up, as long as my heart is full of love, I will be cared for, I can't blame anyone, everything can only rely on myself, the same age, different hearts, let me have a home!

Yes, although childhood is gone, but to go your own way wider and wider, since everything can only rely on yourself, then why not make yourself stronger in the bumps and thorns?