My childhood friend is especially important to me, a brother I will never forget. Whenever I mention it, I always straighten my back in front of others and proudly say: "When I was a child, most of my pocket money was given by me!"

No exaggeration.

His name is Lei Zi, born in the first month, 9 months older than me, is a little sullen, obscene, but down-to-earth, and a boy with a strong personality. What's even more special is that his birthday is the same day as my mother!

It is said that the two of us played on a kang when we were more than a year old, and we played very gently, I gently "touched" him, and he gently "touched" me.

Never had a fight.

Although there are inevitably some quarrels and disagreements on the road of growth, the feelings of Fa Xiao have always been heated up and purified in the long river of time.

His family conditions are certainly better than mine.

In fact, as long as you are willing to struggle, work hard, and know how to fight, you will naturally gain relatively more, and no one will be an exception.

Lei Zi's family has three main rooms, three south rooms, and a house for storing coal for daily cooking and fire, which we call locally "charcoal houses".

We are usually always "greasy" together, and we can be regarded as "childhood sweethearts, two little guesses".

As long as we have time, we will definitely be together, and when my family can't find me, I will definitely be at his house, and vice versa. Even when the two of us are bored to the extreme, we don't want to do anything, we don't want to play anything, we always want to be with each other.

First of all, I want to clarify that we are certainly not Gay, and of course there is no special emotion of Boy's love, and our orientation is very normal, just simple playmates.

When we were young, we were in the same kindergarten, and we were inseparable all day long, and no matter who picked us up, we would always take us home at the same time, without exception.

There is a sentence in the quotations of Mr. Lin Yutang, a famous modern Chinese writer and scholar, which is widely circulated in the society:

Life is nothing more than that, do it and cherish it.

You will always be your own protagonist, and don't always play a supporting role in other people's dramas.

The day is very short, and it is too short to embrace the early morning, and the dusk is already in hand.

A year is very short, and if you don't have time to taste the red bean green in early spring, you have to make some vegetarian autumn frost.

Life is very short, and if you don't have time to enjoy the good years, you are already in the twilight.

Japanese novelist Akiru Nosaka wrote in "Grave of the Fireflies": Cherish today, cherish the present, who knows tomorrow or the accident, which one will come first.

That's just the way it is.

When she was 5 years old, Reiko's father died.

One year on Chinese New Year's Eve, like most families in China, the Leizi family cooked a steaming Chinese New Year's Eve dinner and waited for the pillar of the family, the closest relatives who played the role of husband and father, to come home amid laughter.

I don't know how I survived the days without a phone at that time, I can only wait with hope, looking forward to a peaceful reunion year for the whole family.

I didn't expect it to be a night.

In the early hours of the morning, I received the sad news of the death of a loved one, a message that no one wanted to receive.

The messenger said that he had a bad vision while driving at night and crashed into a speeding train. At that time, there was no barrier next to the train track, and it was possible to achieve a difficult action of "running and climbing the train" like the "railway guerrillas".

In this way, Leizi lost his father when he was 5 years old, leaving only his mother, sister and him at home, and the family of three depended on each other and struggled to survive.

The feeling of losing a loved one is pale in any language, like the sky falling, like the ground falling, and the damage to a family and family is huge and unimaginable.

And this time the accident lost more than just the main breadwinner of the family. Also, what is lost is the wife's husband, the father of the child, and the child of the parents.

For Lei Zi, the word "death" seems to be far away, as far as the ends of the earth, but it is very close, close at hand. Far away in the world, it means that the family will never return, and after many years, there will be no day to see each other again. Being close at hand means disappearing out of thin air, yesterday is vivid, and today is forever alive in that memory that cannot be erased.

In my ignorant and ignorant mind, Lei Zi was just lying there alone, facing the wall, with his back to everyone, not saying anything, doing nothing, ignoring anyone, just lying there quietly...... Maybe he was the only one who knew what he was thinking.

I only know one thing, Leizi cried very sadly and sadly. And this incident has become one of the past events that we don't want to talk about in the depths of our hearts.

As individuals, we must learn to cherish ourselves, cherish the people around us, cherish the current life, and cherish the current beauty and happiness. Only by living each day well can we not regret the loss. Of course, the loss here is not only time, money......

I mentioned earlier that marriage and family are a matter of two people, or two families. Now I would like to express my other contradictory but non-conflicting point of view from another perspective, namely, marriage and family are "one person's" business.

How do you understand this point of view? From the moral level, I introduce a psychological term that I have come up to - role self-discipline.

In the company, enterprise, unit, we have different jobs, different positions have different job responsibilities, offside, absence, dislocation, dislocation are all wrong.

The same is true for families.

In the case of men, it is important not only to know what role to play in the family, but also to know what the mission is assigned by the role.

What is self-discipline is to give full play to the functional binding force of this role.

In front of the wife, it is the husband, so in the role of the husband, it is necessary to be self-disciplined. For example, if you make money to support your family, care for your wife, and love your family, you must use the role of "husband" to restrain yourself. We must fully trust, respect each other, and not deceive, act recklessly, let alone have an affair and cheat, etc., and when this role is changed to a father, we must educate the children and set an example...... When this role is changed to a son, it is necessary to respect the old man and be filial to the old man.

The same goes for women. The same is true for social roles.

We will continue to conduct in-depth research on the term "role self-discipline".

Where is the most basic premise or the root cause of self-discipline in order to achieve the roles of a good husband, father, son, wife, etc.?

The benevolent see the benevolent, and the wise see the wise. You certainly have these answers:

Time, with time it is possible to achieve all ideas and goals.

Money, the satisfaction of all material conditions is based on money.

Freedom, the realization of personal freedom, can do whatever you want. To achieve financial freedom, you can do whatever you want and do nothing.

Knowledge, experience, insight, network...... Many, many, of course, there must be people who will not shy away from saying, and-Dad!

Yes, the era of fighting dad can of course be regarded as personal capital, I will not deny that this is also a kind of heritage. To put it another way, it is the parents and even the grandparents who have done enough in their lives and received the rewards they deserve, and it is natural for them to bless their descendants.

Actually, the most basic thing I want to talk about is health.

Having a healthy body and a strong body is the most important thing for everyone. Because the greatest prerequisite for achieving all of the above is health, and without health there will be nothing.

Some people will definitely question my point of view: "As soon as some people are born, their father will earn enough net worth of one billion for them, even if he has a little illness and disaster, can't he spend money to cure it!"

To give an extreme example: there are many children who die at birth, and they are not just a sign of unhealthy health.

The Buddha said: There is no chance of the world.

For the time being, the only way to achieve health is to rely on the individual, on oneself, and only on one's own affairs.

This is what I call the self-discipline of the role, whether it is marriage, family, society, or any other role, it is a one-person thing - health.

That's what this event has told me.

At that time, the relationship between neighbors was also very harmonious, and "distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors" is the most appropriate description of the neighborhood relationship at that time. Moreover, after this incident, the parents will also help their family of three in some simple ways.

When I was a child, whenever I was cut my hair, my father would always call Leizi to my house to cut it for him, and this matter lasted for about 5 years; when I bought rice and noodles, I used to give it back to his family by the way; when there was dirty work at home, I would definitely help together, and I would be on call. There are so many things like this, which not only increase the bond between our two families, but also deepen the friendship between the two of us.

Because the area under the jurisdiction of the township is small and the population density is small, the local teaching resources are only one kindergarten, one primary school, one junior high school, and one high school. I remember that when the kindergarten (what we now call the kindergarten transition) was divided, all the school-age children stood together, lined up, and then the teacher randomly decided which child went to which class.

Of course, the teachers didn't know about our relationship, and they wouldn't have made it easy for us to be randomly assigned to two different classes because of the childish friendship between the two children.

I remember that the moment we separated, Lei Zi suddenly said "wow" and cried.

Crying and shouting to go to school with me, and tugging hard at the doorknob of the class to refrain from entering. No matter how much the teachers and parents persuade and comfort them, it will not help, but the crying will become more serious, and it is not an exaggeration to say that it is a little "heartbreaking".

In the end, the teachers were "deeply moved" by the innocent friendship between the two of us (in fact, they were helpless), and finally divided the two of us into a class with a mind of "embracing all rivers", and we sat together smoothly.