When Xiao Yang and Hu Feihua performed, the simultaneous ratings were released, and the ratings of the East China Sea Spring Festival Gala were second in the country, second only to the National Spring Festival Gala!

This ungodly rating shocked everyone in the industry.

"Why is this Xiao Yang even writing cross talk so well?"

"Does he just want to pull up the ratings of the East China Sea Spring Festival Gala?"

A lot of people were stunned.

The other Spring Festival Gala program groups regretted it, and they had already invited Xiao Yang if they knew it.

on stage.

Xiao Yang said: "I must not move when I think about it, hey! I have answered the old lady's words, while my mind is still clear, I will leave a few words first!"

Hu Feihua was stunned: "Do you really want a last word?"

Xiao Yang sighed lightly: "I'm not too young." ”

Hu Feihua nodded: "That's right, the youth of the times." ”

Xiao Yang said: "This fortune teller says, I am 28 years old, that is, I have a big disaster this year, and after my birthday a few days ago, I am still beautiful!"

Everyone, isn't it beautiful now?

Hu Feihua also regretted.

Xiao Yang said: "Now that I think about it, I guess people calculated it for me according to the lunar calendar. ”

Hu Feihua was slightly surprised: "Yes, it's a mistake!"

Xiao Yang said: "This is called hiding from the first day of junior high and not hiding from the fifteenth, I want to leave a few words to complain about my mother." ”

Hu Feihua was stunned: "What's in the way of your mother?"

The audience is also curious, you fell into it by yourself, complaining about your mother, what did your mother do?

"Look at the one she gave birth to me, you look at me very tall, in fact, when I measure it with a tape measure, I am only 1.65 meters. ”

"One meter six five, it's okay!"

"You make do with me, the girls who engage in the object don't make do with me, and the other party thinks I'm too small when I get the object. You said that if I have a partner, can I come up here on Sunday and watch the tigers play alone?"

Xiao Yang complained.

Everyone burst out laughing.

Who are you dwarfed yourself?

Hu Feihua frowned and said, "Then why can't you come?"

Xiao Yang said: "Why can't you? You let the young man who is engaged in the object tell me that you are the object, and on Sunday, who will not go to work at the mother-in-law's house?"

"Hahaha......"

Everyone laughed, you're so fucking talented.

Hu Feihua asked, "Is that so?"

Xiao Yang nodded: "When the second child of our family was engaged in the object, my mother-in-law's family never hired a nanny!"

"Hahaha...... "Everyone was happy.

Hu Feihua smiled, "So you are willing to be this nanny?"

"It's tiring to be a nanny, it's not life-threatening, you can't meet a big tiger, we can still fall in love after we finish our work." ”

Xiao Yang pinched his nose: "When you fall in love and go to the park, do you go to the zoo? What does the park look like? What are you talking about before the moon before the flowers, it has to be delicious enough." You smell the zoo, you smell, the smell is fishy, that's it, what does it affect your mood!"

Everyone slapped their thighs and laughed to tears.

Hu Feihua said: "Xiao Yang, you fell into the tiger cave because there was no object?"

Xiao Yang said: "It doesn't matter if you don't have a partner, you can grow taller." I've grown so tall, I can see everything, what am I squeezing forward! This time it's good, I can see it so clearly, I can even see a tiger's beard!"

Everyone was stunned for a moment, and then there was thunderous applause, you shook your burden and shook so much that you really didn't move.

In front of the TV, Xiao Yang's mother was extremely proud, "My son is a cross talk actor!"

Xiao Xiu didn't dare to refute, and they had to admit that Xiao Yang's laughter amused them.

Backstage of the Spring Festival Gala, Xu Wenwen and Dong Wan and others were also amused.

They found that Xiao Yang's acting talent is also first-class!

But they are also curious, why doesn't Xiao Yang go serious and be an actor?

......

Live stage.

Hu Feihua said: "This opportunity for you is really rare. ”

Xiao Yang rolled his eyes: "Fight for you?"

Hu Feihua waved his hand: "Don't, I'm not going!"

Xiao Yang said: "Leave a few words and start complaining about my mother, we won't recruit old people in the future, I won't say it!"

Hu Feihua said: "You leave a few words for the unit. ”

Xiao Yang said: "What do you say? Leaders, masters, did you go out to play on Sunday and let the tiger eat it?"

Hu Feihua said seriously: "But that's the actual situation." ”

Xiao Yang said: "It's all my fault, the organization and discipline are not strong, free and loose, and I underestimate the consequences of the tiger eating me." ”

"Haha......"

Everyone is really about to die of laughter, this burden ......

Hu Feifei was also happy: "This ...... I can't estimate it!"

Xiao Yang said: "I'm dead, what else can I check? Forget it, if it's dead, let's die, anyway, Lao Tzu hasn't died once since he was a child." ”

Hu Feihua smiled: "Ah, no one who is alive has ever died!"

Xiao Yang said: "This time, let's talk to the leader, let's be tough! Let's tell him, we don't give you as much pension as you like, and we won't say anything to you." Work injuries are not counted, at most one will fall - natural death. ”

Everyone burst into laughter.

When those artists in the industry saw this scene, they were both shocked and envious, from the beginning of cross talk to the present, everyone's laughter has not been heard.

Guan is this, Xiao Yang and Hu Feihua will succeed!

Cattle!

It's really a cow!

Even if you look down on Xiao Yang, you must be convinced at this moment.

on stage.

Xiao Yang said: "Young man, why can't you finish it, you want to let the tiger eat it, and it is estimated that you will not be able to recognize anything." ”

Hu Feihua nodded: "I can't recognize you." ”

Xiao Yang said: "I'm thinking about it here, and the big guys above are still giving me ideas." As soon as I heard this, I was a little unhappy, so I said directly -- the slogan is useless, the tiger doesn't understand! If you are really heroic, give me one!"

Hu Feihua was stunned: "What? Let the family come down? When people come down, don't they have to feed the tiger?"

Xiao Yang said seriously: "You feed the tiger, that is called sacrificing yourself to save others, and you will die a well-deserved death." I'll give you a newspaper or something when the time comes. What do you say I'm dead? Feeding the tiger is worthless. ”

Hu Feihua shook her head: "No, no, no, you can be in the newspaper even if you die." ”

Xiao Yang said: "In the newspaper, at most two sentences. ”

Hu Feihua asked curiously: "Which two sentences?"

Xiao Yang said: "A young man accidentally fell into the tiger's mouth and died, and the relevant departments reminded visitors to pay attention to safety ......"

"Haha......"

The audience is happy, you don't even have a name.

Hu Feihua is also happy: "These two sentences." ”

Xiao Yang said: "Listen, I won't even be registered, I'm a negative example!"

Hu Feihua was happy: "Do you still want to be positive?"

"What, no?"

"Come on, don't mention this, you've been thinking about it for a long time, and it doesn't work at all!"

"Don't worry, you allow me to discuss with the tiger!"

"What else can you discuss with the tiger?"

"Tiger, tiger, sleep for a while, hey, open your eyes and look at me, I'm quite skinny, no meat. If you want to eat, Qingyun Club has a Hu Feihua who is quite fat. ”

"Huh, what are you thinking about me for?"

Hu Feihua couldn't cry or laugh, "I'm not fat, everyone will comment!"

"Not fat!"

The audience laughed and coaxed.

Hu Feihua reminded: "You should be serious, you should find a way to get out now!"

Xiao Yang rolled his eyes: "Find a way to get out? You can say it easily, what kind of place is this? This is the place where the tigers are locked up! The tigers can't get out, can I get out?"

Hu Feihua was stunned: "That's too." ”

Everyone said, "Why hasn't the tiger woken up for a long time?"

Xiao Yang said: "Look at this wall, it is more than three meters high, and there is no kicking at all. How did you design it in the first place? Don't get an elevator!

Hu Feihua said with a smile: "Xiao'er, I haven't heard of a zoo installing elevators." ”

Xiao Yang said: "Forget it, you go out of the zoo, find a TV station, and ask them to send a film crew, take a picture and wait for the tiger to eat me!"

Hu Feihua was puzzled: "Why are you filming this!"

Xiao Yang said: "Make a film of a tiger eating people and sell it to foreigners for some foreign exchange, which can be regarded as a contribution to the country before my buddy dies." ”

Everyone laughed, your brain circuit is really peculiar.

Hu Feihua admired: "Your consciousness is quite high!"

Xiao Yang said: "You said that it has been like this for a long time, this tiger does not open its eyes when it is panting? How many times does it move, I can still compare with it, it does not move, I dare not move...... Is this tiger degraded?

Hu Feihua smiled: "It is impossible for this tiger to degenerate!"

Xiao Yang was stunned: "How do you know?"

Everyone looked at Hu Feihua's funny comparison curiously.

Hu Feihua said: "In order to maintain the wild nature of tigers, the zoo often throws some live chickens and rabbits into the tiger hole. ”

Xiao Yang asked again: "Why are you throwing live chickens and rabbits?"

"Train tigers to catch live food!"

"Oops, catch live food. ”

"Especially on Sundays, they have to go hungry. ”

"Oh no! It's Sunday! The tiger hasn't eaten yet!

Xiao Yang showed a shocked expression.

Everyone laughed, do you dare to tease some more?

Hu Feihua looked at the audience: "Let him catch up!"

Xiao Yang said: "This hateful zoo, after I die, I will not finish with their leaders!"

Hu Feihua nodded: "Yes! Let them check it well!"

Xiao Yang gritted his teeth: "Check!"

Hu Feihua is serious: "Don't take it as an example!"

Xiao Yang was stunned: "...... Isn't it an example? Forget it this time, right? Lao Tzu is a life, I was thinking about this, and suddenly a girl's voice like a silver bell came from above--big guy, quickly untie the belt, twist it into a rope, and drag the young man up!"

Hu Feihua clapped his hands: "Hey, this method is good!"

The crowd laughed so hard that they turned their backs.

This is the funniest cross talk they have ever heard, and there is no one!

This is what cross talk should look like.

Xiao Yang said: "As soon as I heard this, tears came down! What a good idea, I looked up, and I looked, "Wow! With this call, more than 30 people were untying their belts there...... It's just beautiful!"

Everyone laughed again, they were girls, and they had the courage to take off their skirts.

Hu Feihua said angrily: "It's all this time, do you still have this thought?"

Xiao Yangtian was shameless: "No, I mean, you said that a girl from someone else, at this critical moment, stepped forward to save a person she didn't know, does it mean that this girl ...... Kind of interesting to me?"

Hu Feihua looked at the audience: "Look, everyone, this person is thinking about something messy." ”

Everyone slapped their thighs with laughter.

Xiao Yang also glanced at the audience before saying, "Hey, how are you talking? You said that there are so many young men standing around this girl, why doesn't she look at anyone, just lie on the side and look at me alone?"

Hu Feihua said: "Nonsense! Who made you fall into the tiger hole? Who does she look at if she doesn't look at you?"

Everyone laughed, and tears came out of their eyes.

Xiao Yang grimaced: "No matter what you say, it is estimated that if you look down from the top, you can't see the size of your head, maybe my marriage will be a big event, which is called a blessing in disguise." ”

Hu Feihua said: "Don't laugh! When is it, you still have this mind!

Xiao Yang said: "Why don't you have any sympathy at all? As the saying goes, a gentleman doesn't move his mouth, and if I don't move my mouth and my hands, I will move my heart and eyes, and I will die, what are you really talking to me?"

Hu Feihua stretched out his hands helplessly towards the audience: "Yes, I still have more mouths, come on, you can go to the event!"

Everyone coaxed, and the scene burst into laughter again.

Xiao Yang said: "It's too late, it's fast, and more than 30 ropes twisted into belts have come down. I looked up and saw that there were more than 30 people looking at me with their pants up......!

Hu Feihua asked, "What's wrong?"

Xiao Yang said: "I stood up. ”

Hu Feihua was happy: "Huh, you have been sitting down?"

Xiao Yang looked at the audience: "Isn't he talking nonsense, his legs are so weak, I'm still lying on my stomach if I don't sit?"

"Hahaha......"

The audience laughed, this burden is really no one.

Hu Feihua urged: "Climb quickly!"

Xiao Yang said: "As soon as I saw it, the rope was in front of me, and I grabbed it, and I came to the middle in a few steps." As the saying goes, a dog can jump over a wall when he's in a hurry, and a person is not a little bit when he's in a hurry! You said that when you climb Mount Everest, you have to follow a big tiger behind you, can you go up by yourself?"

Hu Feihua looked at the audience again: "Look, look, he is just and capable." ”

Everyone laughed and coaxed: "Sooner or later, I will be bitten to death by a tiger!"

Xiao Yang was aggrieved: "You are really right, I looked back and saw that the tiger had just opened one eye! I hurriedly said to the tiger - you are hungry here alone, right? Seeing that you are quite lonely alone, and the zoo leaders don't care about you, don't be busy, wait for your buddy to go out and help you introduce a tigress!"

Hu Feihua looked at the audience again: "Talking nonsense when you are dying." ”

Everyone burst into laughter.

Xiao Yang said: "Suddenly, someone from above dragged me, and I kicked my legs, guess what's wrong with me?"

Hu Feihua was curious: "You are saved!"

Xiao Yang let out a long breath: "I'm finally fucking out, a good person is really fate!"

Hu Feihua comforted: "This time it's not light. ”

Xiao Yang nodded: "After coming up, I remembered a key question!"

Hu Feihua asked, "What questions do you think of again?"

Xiao Yang smiled cheaply: "Where is the girl's nepotism?"

The crowd laughed and slapped their thighs again.

Hu Feihua was stunned: "I'm still worried about the skirt." ”

Xiao Yang said: "I searched, and finally found it, I held it to my chest like a wreath and smelled it, hey, with the girl's body temperature, with the girl's fragrance, with the ......"

Hu Feihua hurriedly stopped: "Don't smell it!"

Xiao Yang was stunned: "Why don't you smell it for me?"

Hu Feihua said: "I still smell sweat again." ”

The crowd laughed.

Xiao Yang said: "No matter what I say, I have to try to get in front of the girl first." ”

Hu Feihua quipped: "I said what are you in a hurry?"

Xiao Yang looked at the audience: "Everyone is commenting, I don't have a target yet, can you not be in a hurry?"

"Huh......"

Everyone booed and laughed.

Hu Feihua asked: "Everyone saved you so much, don't you thank everyone first?"

Xiao Yang was distressed: "I blushed when I saw a girl, and I was embarrassed to speak." ”

Hu Feihua said: "Then you shake hands with everyone first!"

Xiao Yang said: "None of them shake with me. ”

Hu Feihua was curious: "Why?"

The audience, the audience in front of the TV, countless pairs of eyes looked at Xiao Yang on the stage, and they were also curious why.

Xiao Yang looked at the audience and said, "They are all wearing pants!"

"Haha......"

The crowd burst into laughter.

Xiao Yang and Hu Feihua bowed and exited.

The audience applauded thunderously.

At this moment, Xiao Yang was on fire, and Hu Feihua was also on fire.

In the next scene, the song singing is also Xiao Yang!

Like an ant on a hot pot, Xu Wenwen rushed towards Xiao Yang, who returned to the backstage.

"Have you come up with a new song?"

Everyone looked at Xiao Yang.

(4500 words big chapter, two in one)