People of the older generation always say that love is like flowing water, from high to low, from top to bottom. Taiwanese writer Liu Yong also said that love flows downward.

Many times, we all know that it is normal for family members to trust each other, respect each other, support each other, help each other, and tolerate each other.

But why is love top-down?

In this regard, it is believed that adults who are already parents feel the most deeply, especially in the grandparents and grandchildren, and the parents are secondary. However, parents are always principled.

Tell a story from your own experience.

One year, during the Chinese New Year, I took my 2-year-old son back to my hometown. At that time, the son was the youngest baby in the family, so he would naturally get the love of his ancestors such as the second grandfather, aunt, uncle, aunt, etc., not to mention the delicious and fun, as long as the child wanted to actually, flying in the sky, running on the ground, swimming in the water, and jumping in the grass, he would enjoy the right of priority.

After the dinner, my son was drinking yogurt with a cup, and Mu Yi, the child's mother, and I accompanied him. It is inevitable that children will have wandering or other minor conditions on various occasions, and drinking yogurt is no exception.

Somehow, I accidentally spilled a few drops of yogurt on the table.

According to the normal procedure in all families, as long as you wipe it with a rag, and then tell the child to "be careful, pay more attention next time you drink" and something like that, after all, the child is still young and cannot completely use the "online platform" method to educate, mainly to solve problems.

At this moment, before I could talk to Mu Yi, the new situation immediately caught the two of us by surprise.

Maybe because the child is a Virgo, or maybe he is in the special stage of "perfect sensitive period", so he suddenly launched his own little temper, "don't do two endlessly", test the bottom line of parents, and simply pour a whole cup of yogurt "unceremoniously" on the table, "See what you can do with me?"

Of course I was a little displeased to see this scene, aside from mentioning it in other people's homes, such an act itself is a waste of food, and it also stains the table.

So, I "pulled" my face down in an instant, with a serious expression, and was about to take this opportunity to correct his mistakes and educate him with righteous words.

"Qinqin ......"

I have to say that today's children have a very strong ability to "observe words and looks", I just opened my mouth to call the child's name, and before I could say anything, Qin Qin looked at his father's suddenly serious expression, knowing that he seemed to have made something wrong, and did not hesitate to cry Wow cried, and secretly glanced at me from time to time when crying.

My guess is that this could also be a way for children to find ways to "protect" themselves.

The best time to educate a child is when he makes mistakes, at least I thought at the time.

As an old father, of course, I will not let go of this "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity for him to grow up. Is it useful to cry when you make a mistake?

Just when I hesitated again and again, and spent less than a minute immersed in my own world and considered where to start, Qinqin's cry immediately attracted the positive response of many "proletarian revolutionaries of the older generation", and a group of more than ten ancestors led by the child's grandfather surrounded Qinqin in the middle with lightning speed.

"What's wrong with you, Qinqin, what's upset?"

"Don't cry, don't cry, tell grandpa, who bullied you?"

"Grandpa will sing you a song and let your grandma dance with you, okay?"

"Qinqin, look around, so many grandfathers, grandmothers, grandmothers, and grandfathers are here, we are in charge for you!"

When the elders intermittently learned the ins and outs of the incident from Mu Yi's mouth, the child's grandfather said something that choked me enough, making me cry and laugh, and I was helpless, and I still remember it vividly:

"Qinqin, it's okay, we still have several boxes of yogurt at home, pour it hard for grandpa, as long as you are happy, you can't cry to grandpa......" Then, it was logical to hold the child and leave.

It was just me and Mu Yi standing there dumbfounded.

Far from feeling that there was anything wrong with it, the other "proletarian revolutionaries" of the older generation admonished me in turn:

"The child is still young and doesn't understand anything, so talk to the child well. ”

"That's it, how can such a young child know this, don't go online. ”

"Okay, okay, that's it......"

"For the Chinese New Year, you also give your children a holiday, not to mention your children. ”

"You can't make your child cry, you know?"

"Children have strong self-esteem, but they can't talk nonsense!"

......

Can anyone tell me what's going on, who am I messing with, and why are all the spearheads coming at me?

Mu Yi and I glanced at each other tacitly, shook our heads helplessly and smiled bitterly.

Although he and Qinqin also explained the truth afterwards, the child was also sensible and promised not to make such mistakes in the future.

But what I want to express is the love of my grandparents for my grandchildren in this "yogurt incident", which is the so-called "next generation".

In fact, from the bottom of my heart, I don't agree with such an "overly doting" education method, but I can't deny the love and care of the elders for their children from the bottom of my heart, and such selfless love is a natural attribute between all grandparents and grandchildren.

Therefore, I can't bear to break such a beautiful moment, and I will not "pour cold water" on the elders at the critical moment when their family affection is "bursting" and extinguish the fire of love in their hearts, but choose to carry out "quality education" for Qinqin afterwards, so that he can understand what is reasonable to do, which is also the responsibility of a father.

This is how to deal with problems properly between family members as an adult, after all, home is a place of love.

There are many situations in society like in TV dramas, the bottom-up emotional bond is as fragile as hair, and it is sensible enough to be able to respond politely to the words of the ancestors, not to mention the others?

There is a dislike for the dirty, dirty, and poor ...... of the ancestors What's more, I recently saw a news item in a certain province in which a son in his 50s buried his 70-year-old biological mother alive.

Children often don't realize that their grandparents are also the source of their own lives!

The importance of life experience, experience, knowledge, educational background, and moral quality is reflected at this time.

Only when you are in charge of the family can you feel that firewood and rice are expensive, and you can only know the kindness of your parents when you raise children.

Only through experience can we truly appreciate the truth.

Just as when the elders teach us the principles, methods, and possible consequences of dealing with the world, although we can understand some of the truth in the conversation, only when we experience similar incidents, will we remember the real intentions of the elders at that time, and we will always sigh from the bottom of our hearts: Oh, I see!

Just as a pony crosses the river, whether it can cross the river, how to cross the river, can only be known by personal experience, the experience of the little squirrel and the old scalper can only be used as a reference and reference basis, if you want to understand, you can only experience it yourself.

Indeed, practice is the only criterion for testing truth.

There is always a case for everything.

I've often wondered why most of the same life is an exception for me.

As mentioned earlier, what exactly is the love of the ancestors?

Why is it that my grandmother is eating stewed meat, and when she hears the sound of me and my sister coming home, she immediately hides the delicious food, only the smell of meat that permeates the house and the cold words that disgust my mother has not come home to cook, and the words that refer to Sang scolding Huai, and referring to the deer as a horse to provoke the relationship between mother and child.

What kind of feedback can I give to my grandparents from this experience?

Don't persuade others to be kind without others suffering.

Many people are self-righteous and feel that they are standing on the moral high ground to demand others. Actually, is the morality in these people's minds right? Not really?

Since I am the youngest in the family and the only boy in the family, the so-called "eldest son and eldest grandson", the family will more or less spoil me, needless to say, my parents, and of course my sister is the same. Maybe that's some of my psychological comfort!

Limited to the psyche.

The life of poverty has never changed much for the family.

The status quo of the mother supporting a family of four has not changed.

At home, fruits and vegetables can only be eaten during the Chinese New Year and August 15, and the rest of the time is mainly potatoes and pasta: fried shredded potatoes, fried potato chips, cold shredded potatoes, cold potato chips, stewed potatoes, fried potatoes, roasted potatoes, boiled potatoes with millet porridge, potato balls, steamed dumplings with potato filling...... In short, it is "potato 108 to eat", all kinds of tricks, all kinds of methods, all kinds of changes.

Next is the pasta: potato stewed noodles, braised potatoes, noodles, steamed buns, flower rolls, potato cakes.

The word poor is the head, and a bowl of water at home can not be leveled.

My mother would occasionally quietly buy a few instant noodles, or secretly make a few egg candy cakes for me to hide, which was a small food for me to "improve my life" every once in a while.

As for my sister, as an older child, only steamed bun bubble water is the main raw material supply for adolescence, which is very monotonous. I don't want to eat, I don't want to talk, and I often can't eat enough and get hungry, so what should I do?

So, my sister "rummaged through the cabinets" at home and "stole things" to eat while her parents were not at home.

My sister has a special ability. No matter where the things were hidden, or how hidden they were, she would always find them, and then quietly share them with me to eat, and finally told me again and again not to tell my parents.

How could I not tell it? It was a delicious meal that my mother had left for me!

So after my sister went to school, I quietly told my mother about it. For the mother, the palms and backs of her hands are full of meat, she wants her sister to eat better, but she is afraid that I will not eat well, she wants to leave the delicious things to me, but she is worried that my sister will starve, and the act of hiding the delicious food itself feels guilty for her daughter, such a contradictory mentality, so that she has always been in a tacit attitude "turn a blind eye, listen but do not listen".

And after I saw that the "leak" was fruitless, I told my father about it "without knowing the depths......