Who are you, where did you come from, where are you going? It's life's inescapable doubts. When you are in a fog and full of ambition, you are not allowed to ask questions like this, over and over again, but after many times and many people fall into deeper confusion or self-exile.

Buddhism says that the soul comes from immeasurable eons and keeps changing reincarnation in the color body, so who is the real you? You who came from immeasurable eons, or the color body in front of the mirror that is greedy for gain and loss?

Xu Zeyuan looked in the mirror, assuming that he was a combination of a sincere soul and a vulgar and unbearable color body, he tried to look at this color body partner who had been with him for 32 years with a sideline attitude, he had not looked at him carefully over the years, he used his stubbornness, stubbornness, pride, depression, and even drunken dreams to death, he used his high spirits, complacent ambition or good calculation. Maybe it's time to realign with him. As for what to do, Xu Zeyuan didn't know very well, he picked up a razor to clean up his scumbag full of knives and guns, starting with a change of heart. All its employees will be merged into TN, which means that Xu Zeyuan lost his job in advance. Mr. Jia put a bulging bag of brown paper bags on the table in the café private room.

Xiao Xu, your name is still very sensitive to TN, this is an extra compensation for you.

It seems that there are still big projects to be done in T Province next, and TN will not let go easily.

TN has increased its capital and shares, and has acquired two companies in the industry that do not change its name, at least the employees who transferred out of TN that year, Lao Chen agreed to take over all of them.

It must be the result of your arguments.

I was going to take the opportunity to place you in a field project, but now is not the right time.

Don't bother about me, those brothers who came out can have a way out, and I feel less guilty.

Xiao Xu, you rest first, and in a few days, the limelight is over, and I will find a way.

Xu Zeyuan knows that the chance of returning to TN or this industry is already slim, and the things he needs to redefine and sort out are really myriad, he must accept the reality, and he can no longer use dozens of degrees of alcohol to pour into this skin bag to escape reality, fortunately, there is also the support of the old leader of Mr. Jia.

Xu Zeyuan completed the finishing work in T Province and said goodbye to his colleagues and Mr. Jia, he didn't know if he would meet again after years of years of knowing the source code, mentors, and friends, people or things he had treated kindly, and who had no intention of hurting.

After leaving T Province, he returned to the place where he and Lin Jinxi once coexisted, the house had been subleased to others, and the terrace of the moonflower that was once full of sunlight was empty, replaced by colorful hangers, clips, and sun-soaked bedding, as if this balcony had always been like this, it had never been beautifully decorated. Yes, the mandala withered. But he missed her for a moment. Her mobile phone number change was down, the door of her parents' house was closed, Xu Zeyuan asked the neighbors, it is said that the old couple has been gone for two months, maybe they are going to other provinces to give lectures, Lin Jinxi's father is an English teacher at the university, and it is logical to go to other provinces to teach. He wanted to see her, he was convinced that if she was ruthless, she wouldn't have gone to the temple to fight the Buddha in the second week of her life, she had suffering, she had inextricable confusion and wanted to be enlightened through faith, but what was it? What was it that she didn't confide in him? At first, he felt that his inexplicable love for Lin Jinxi came from possession, but when she disappeared from his life, he cooled down, and the result of his thinking was that in addition to his love for her, he could also go beyond the bottom line, he could even forgive her for wavering, her change of mind, if she fell in love with someone else, he would wait for her to stop loving, or return to him after distinguishing what love was, he could forgive her for all her mistakes. What is the origin of this almost incomprehensible love that even Xu Zeyuan can't tell? Is it Lin Jinxi's beauty and sexiness, or is she wise and detached? He can't even say what he loves her, maybe because when he experienced Meng Chen and met Lin Jinxi, he understood what love and the beauty and hardship of love were. He must find her, even if one day she is a wife, even if he only looks at her from afar, she is well, and he has no regrets. Since then, he has developed a habit of collecting all travel-related magazines, and perhaps this is the only way to find clues to her whereabouts.

Time passed unhurriedly, Xu's mother's last radiotherapy and chemotherapy was over, and Xu Zeyuan accompanied his mother through almost every struggle of pain and illness. Even if her mother still had vomit from chemotherapy on her collar, she would jokingly say when she stepped out of the chemotherapy room and saw Xu Zeyuan,

I have done more iniquity than I have suffered.

Xu Zeyuan put Xu's mother's hand in the crook of his arm,

If you don't feel guilty enough, let's continue for another six months.

Let your mom live two more years!

Mom, you'll live at least another 40 years.

yes, I still have to watch you get married and have children.

Mom, Meng Chen and I ......

Don't talk about it, break up, right?

Kindness. I don't like her......

I understand, forget it, you can't live a lifetime if you don't like it. You can't take any money or house with you, so you can live happily.

Mom, you have a good illness and have understood the true meaning of life.

Don't be angry with me, if you meet someone you like, you have to hurry up, the boss is not small.

Know.

Lost your job too?

Kindness.

Look for it again, you can't starve to death if you have hands and feet, my son. Mother Xu tightened her son's arm.

I don't know if it was Mother Xu's illness that made her see through the world, but it was Xu Zeyuan's increasingly mature mind that made Mother Xu feel that he was no longer the hairy boy who was uncertain. Xu Zeyuan recalled how absurd the countless words and schemes he had listed and woven for that crazy love, but it was not as down-to-earth and warm as this simple and straightforward truth.

The town began to build a large number of buildings, included Xihedian in the tourism project, allocated construction funds, they planned to introduce Huaishui into Hedian, bluestone pavement re-paving, for every household to replace new tiles, paint the walls. The ancestral hall is surrounded by an iron frame to reinforce and repair, just to teach the descendants to serve the country and pick up orange bereavement, although after the re-carving, but how to look at it are missing some of the old things, they are all just phases, why take it seriously.

Xu Zeyuan's martial arts are useless in this place, and there are occasional colleagues who ask him to help solve code bugs, and after a long time away from the industry, it is difficult to keep up with the rapid development of science and technology, and then there are chasers, youth and talent will always be the mainstay of this industry. Later, Mr. Jia asked Xu Zeyuan to hang up a consultant of a company, participate in project development, give guidance, and write technical documents, because there is not much business, and his previous work intensity is more like an idle job, he has more time to visit his parents and go back to the town to live occasionally.

The town is like a big construction site, Xu Zeyuan took the opportunity to start repairing the ancestral house left by his grandfather, he rushed back every weekend, hired idle workers on the construction site to do some private work, renovated the water supply, upstairs and downstairs four rooms became four guest rooms, the courtyard was paved with stones, a pavilion was built, roses, Yueji, and the mangyro in Qingfeng Temple. He thought that his parents and uncles could come back to stay for a while, and they could also make it convenient for tourists, and finally he guessed whether Lin Jinxi would set foot in this remote town in this life to see the flowers he had prepared.

Xu Zeyuan has always treasured Lin Jinxi's famous periodicals, the blue navy blue and wide-striped tie she gave him, and their common asset - the white economic family car, Lin Jinxi called it Xiaobai, and he parked it in the most conspicuous place in front of the door.

Xu Zeyuan let go of the wins and losses that he once valued the most, and let go of the material pursuit of taking precautions, but he couldn't let go of Lin Jinxi, for no reason, he felt that there would never be a second person in the dark who would wear a long dress with red and green azalea textures like her, quietly turned around and waved his hand at him, and disappeared from his field of vision. Lin Jinxi is his obsession.

On weekend afternoons, he likes to take two hours to sit on the edge of the table in the unfinished courtyard and make a cup of tea and flip through the magazines and periodicals he has recently collected. At first, he only looked at the catalog page of the magazine, looking for those three words, but after being disappointed again and again, he realized that he had made a fatal mistake, with Lin Jinxi's absolute absoluteness, how could he let him find her so easily, she could escape his pursuit by picking up a random pen name. So, he began to read the whole book word for word, and when he read the beautiful text, he would smile and soothe his mind, even if he failed to do so, it became a pastime, but sometimes he would be annoyed and embarrassed by the literary level of a certain editor, how can 'July Flowing Fire' be described as summer, autumn, autumn; 'warm and cold' is not spring, how can it be used to describe spring? So he thought of Lin Jinxi again, Lin Jinxi would never make a similar mistake, he admitted that he loved Lin Jinxi's face, but he also loved her talent.

Cold and summer, the project of Xihedian has been repaired and stopped, and it has not yet been perfected, but occasionally there are idlers who are keen to wander around, Xu Zeyuan's 'one house' has been taken care of, Xu Zeyuan took care of the town's nephew's A Chuang to watch the store, saying that it is actually difficult to distinguish which room and which branch to Xu Zeyuan's generation, only know that the town's surname Xu has a little of the same blood, A Chuang is 19 years old, is one of the few young people in the town, because of poor study, and love to fight, injured half of the lives of others. Parents simply handed Ah Chuang over to his grandparents, that is, they were helpless and lucky, in case they could be influenced by simple and outdated ideas, and it would be very good to change the evil and return to the right. Xu Zeyuan asked clearly, Ah Chuang fights mostly for the sake of buddy righteousness, how can he know what a real buddy is at his age, and how to distinguish between brotherly righteousness and right and wrong. Therefore, the root cause of such a trouble, for Xu Zeyuan, it is not a problem with his character, at most he is not more or less serious, and he is just a little more affectionate. Ah Chuang's grandfather also came to thank Xu Zeyuan because he gave his grandson the opportunity to 'be a new man', Xu Zeyuan said, see outside, see outside. But in my heart, I said that who didn't crawl all the way and keep being a new person.

The first batch of tourists received by the first house were two young couples from Beijing, who were about the same age as Xu Zeyuan, and there was a communal kitchen on the first floor of the courtyard, where they could buy their own vegetables and cook simple meals. In the evening, after they wandered around for a day, they bought the fish and lotus root in the lake, cooked by themselves, accompanied by the fragrance of flowers and sunset in the courtyard to enjoy the food and sweet time, Xu Zeyuan gave them a pot of spring tea, so the five people talked, Xu Zeyuan generally introduced the water system of Xihedian and the historical origin of Xujia Town, tourists talked about the travel mentality, as well as the development of Beijing, the lifestyle and consumption concept of young people. When it comes to Beijing, Xu Zeyuan suddenly feels that the city has become a little strange, just a city that has carried his hard work and love, and will eventually say goodbye to him and never return, but he has an inextricable attachment to her. Knowing that Xu Zeyuan had studied and worked in Beijing, several young people had more topics, such as economy, finance, tourism, entertainment, life, how to work hard, how to consume, the end of the world, and everything to talk about. The next day, the passenger and Xu Zeyuan exchanged contact information before leaving.

After successfully completing the first business, Xu Zeyuan seems to have some different ideas about the operation of this ancestral house and his future life. Ah broke into the account and rushed to Xu Zeyuan with a look of victory,

Brother Yuan, this money is too easy to make, 120 for a room, more than 100,000 a year! He should be called Uncle Xu Zeyuan, but he prefers to be called brothers and sisters on the rivers and lakes - it seems close.

How do you calculate?

One room is 120 a day, 4 rooms, multiplied by 365 days, obediently, more than 170,000 yuan a year. Ah Chuang is not good at mathematics, but he can dance up and down according to the fingers of the calculator, and he is very agile.

Have you deducted your utility bills? Do you know the off-peak season? What about the vacancy rate of the house? I always have to live in one room when I come back? And what about your salary? By the way, maintenance also costs money.

Ah Chuang was taken aback by the question,

So troublesome.

Is there any trouble in making money?

You think about it and figure it all out.

I don't know.

Clean the room first, and I'll teach you to settle accounts at night.

I will clean it if I clean it, and I won't learn to settle accounts. Ah Chuang wanted to grease the soles of his feet.

Come back, you have to learn quickly, and in the future, I will leave it to you to take care of.

Really, let me be the boss?

See if you have the skills.

Can I get paid more?

Let you take the big head.

Brother, I learn, I listen to whatever you say.

With the official completion of the construction and the influx of tourists, the people in the town went from watching at the beginning to following Xu Zeyuan's practice, and some also opened family-style inns. Xu Zeyuan, who came to the door to ask for advice, knew everything.

This spring and summer Xu Ze was far from very fulfilling, and Ah Chuang spent all his fighting strength on taking care of the top and bottom of the house, and did his best. The town is lively, and the young people who have made a special trip to play or transit on the way, wearing outdoor clothes and hats, stepping on the bluestone streets of the town to shoot street scenes, boating on the sparkling lake water, picking lotus and fishing, vigorously driving the popularity and economic income of Xujia Town, and injecting new culture into this land.

A house is visited by tourists almost every day, and there are not many rooms, and Ah Chuang has tasted the fun of making money again, and one person can cope with it. Xu Zeyuan went to Qingfeng Temple and did not realize the resignation, and he planned to go around as well. Tourists from the south to the north said that the purpose of travel was to find themselves, but Xu Zeyuan was inspired that maybe God would favor him, and maybe he could reunite with Lin Jinxi during the journey. At this time, Seifuji Temple can be described as the peak of incense. It was Dao Yi who received Xu Zeyuan,

Senior brother, Master is in retreat and there is no one to see. At this time, Dao Yiqian called Xu Zeyuan his senior brother, and he didn't realize that he made three conversions to Xu Zeyuan, so he was also Xu Zeyuan's conversion teacher.

Retreat? Such a busy season, retreat? Xu Zeyuan looked at the endless stream of tourists in the temple and the unfinished squatter expansion site in the side courtyard.

Hey, there are troubles when the incense is too strong.

What's the annoyance?

The bricks, tiles, and steel that my brother had brought up from the bottom of the mountain were all piled up there.

Why don't you start construction, doesn't it say that you want to expand the squatter house and live for the laymen who play seven?

The festival is gone.

Why?

According to me, there are too many people who come, shouting and shouting, and there are many people who come to us for fortune telling, and there are female bodhisattvas who pull the master to take pictures, and wherever the master goes, he doesn't dare to collect the rice. Sins, sins, sins.

Xu Zeyuan couldn't help but smile when he looked at Daoyi's troubles,

Master Daoyi also knows how to tell fortunes?

Amitabha, I only understand cause and effect, how can I know fortune telling. 20-year-old Daoyi, pure and quiet like a 13 or 4-year-old adult who has no rebellious period,

Xu Zeyuan laughed even more, and seeing that Dao Yi was a little angry, Fang tried his best to close the corners of his mouth,

Master Daoyi don't have to worry, Master can come up with a good way.

Senior brother is in a hurry to find Master, but write a note and hand it in.

It's not urgent, I'll probably come back when Master is out of the pass.

Senior brother wants to go out?

Get around.

Where to go?

Wherever you go, it counts.

When will you be back?

I don't know.

Hey, in the past, Master always tested me, and only half of what he said made me think about the other half. Now that Master is in retreat, there is another such senior brother, and the words are the same as not speaking. It's nerve-wracking.

You should spend your brains, so many sentient beings are waiting for you, why don't you write some 'stop words' signs and hang them in the temple?

Very good, very good, I didn't think of it. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot to get down to business, but Master explained before the retreat that if you come, I will transfer and sue you.

What words?

Dao Yi stopped talking and scratched his head,

I've been so busy lately, I have to clean it several times a day, and I have to pay tribute to pilgrims who don't know the rules.

Say it.

Oh, Master said that suffering is easy to pass, life and death are not up to oneself, only love is sad, it seems to be man-made, but in fact it is destiny.

What else?

Nope.

This was specially relayed to me by Master?

Kindness.

Xu Zeyuan has never mentioned the word love to Buwu, can he really penetrate people's hearts?

Do you know how to solve it?

In my opinion, it makes you happy every day.

Can you tell I'm not happy?

It used to be, but now it's better.

I wasn't happy before?

Which happy person will climb the mountain under the black light, the smell of alcohol, and break his leg.

That's right.

Uncle Shi said that in the future, he should set up rules and stick them on the door for pilgrims to see, he was not allowed to bring tobacco and alcohol into the temple, he was not allowed to urinate anywhere, he was not allowed to stay three feet away from the master, he was not allowed to throw money in the main hall, and he also said that he would sell tickets.

Tickets?

Some pilgrims threw money directly at the feet of the Buddha and Bodhisattva, scattering it everywhere, rather than just charging a ticket, the master would never set up a merit box.

Has anyone been to the Municipal Tourism Office?

It seems that someone has come, and people from the Provincial Buddhist Association have also come, and soon Master went into retreat.

I think the first four rules you said are very good, and the matter of tickets is waiting for the master to decide.

By the way, Master asked me to give you a bracelet.

Xu Zeyuan took a string of half-used beads made of similar plant kernels and put them on his left hand.

I didn't pay attention to it, but I used it to recite the Buddha's counts, and the master took it for a while.

Originally, Xu Zeyuan wanted to ask for enlightenment, everything can be put down, but only one person can't let go, how to get rid of it. Sure enough, it is difficult to manage the life of entering the world with the heart of birth, and it is not necessarily difficult for a person to be born with a state of mind. Xu Zeyuan was a little worried about the prospect of Qingfeng on the way down the mountain - once it becomes a tourist attraction, Qingfeng Temple will be incorporated into the commercial system, and the most direct benefit is that the maintenance and use of the temple can save some effort, and there is no need to work hard by himself, but this is contrary to the concept of ignorance. There are troubles inside and outside the empty door, and the believers strive for tranquility in the three cultivations. Xu Zeyuan was trapped by love, and he didn't realize that he was walking on the road of self-enlightenment, and he had his own troubles.