Chapter 32: Despair and Alienation
"Don't worry, I'll be back soon. Sister don't read it, and sister don't believe the rumors on the Internet, I think maybe it's just the same name. β
"The same name, do you still have the same face? Even the style and behavior are copied imitations? Please be sober, don't sink into it anymore, sister, please, okay?"
"Sister, the stall that burns your eyebrows, you are still complaining about my affairs, you should find a way to repair your relationship with Brother Beiming as soon as possible. Please, with the protected forest of the Gu family, our survival is not a problem at all. Isn't it? Do you think you can gain a foothold with your own ability? In other words, it's easy to get a foothold, but it's hard to live a high-grade life, isn't it? Wake up, go back to your former track, and take advantage of the fact that Brother Beiming still has a trace of guilt for you. β
"Crazy, Kim Min-hyuk. You're a mad delusional. Why don't you think about how you can stand in society with your own abilities. It's no wonder that every time I meet you, I feel restless. β
"I can't help it, sister, you know that I have almost nothing but idleness and laziness, don't I? But why am I useless? It's not because I don't have any help behind me? And how we who were abandoned in the orphanage back then depended on each other and comforted each other, I even worked everywhere at such a young age for my sister's college dream, you can forget my sister's hard life, I can't forget it. If my sister hadn't been stingy and had given me more money every month, would I have done such a thing? Besides, you have so much money for your tutoring, you can make a lot of money, right?"
"That's enough, I'll say one last word! I'm not a mother! I'm not obligated to support you, a giant baby!"
Tae-hee, who was driving in the dark, gritted her teeth tightly, she held the steering wheel fiercely with one hand, and her five fingers were deeply embedded in the frosted steering wheel. Holding her phone high in her other hand, her face at first showed a little unbelievable sympathy, and slowly she was a little mentally disturbed by the tone of his words that he didn't expect but still grasped her expectations.
"Damn, how can I teach you such a fatal stumbling block. I'm still working as a gold medal tutor. β
She grabbed her mobile phone with an aggrieved face, and in the face of the impasse that was difficult to ride a tiger now, she was a little at a loss. If at first she still had a deep cruelty towards Li Xianzhen, but at this moment, the anger she hid outside the clouds was enough to completely burn her collapsed world.
That dim sum machine really didn't play any role in the face of real catastrophe.
Kim Tae-hee looked out the window with sad eyes, his forehead covered with sweat gushing like a spring. She suddenly screamed like crazy, and then banged on the steering wheel with her bruised hands.
"Kim Min-hyuk, I really am, I gave you too much love for the sake of not having a biological mother when you were born, so much so that you ended up being the last shackle that trapped me. Kim Tae-hee angrily banged on the steering wheel that emitted a series of high-decibel warning sounds.
"Ah!! Kim Min-hyuk looks at you as an unsuccessful person, I really want to strangle you. Is your natural broom going to sweep away my last little bit of good luck? Yes, I'm with Gu Beiming, and you're a little carried away with joy. Well, you ruined my life, you made me lose hope in life again. β
Tae-hee spoke obscenities like a madman on his phone that didn't reply. She kept shouting and scolding at the pitch-black screen, although the little secretary on the phone kept sending out the words "The amount of information is too much, please don't continue to leave messages", but Tae-hee didn't have the slightest idea of stopping talking, on the contrary, she chattered into the phone as if she was possessed by a witch. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. The roaring hatred rushed her crumbling nerves to the very point of bursting. With a heavy heart, Tae-hee's forehead was already covered with sticky sweat, and she took off her sunglasses fiercely, folded them and hung them under the baggy low neckline.
"Kim Min-hyuk, you hell messenger who eats people and doesn't spit out bones. She was constantly venting her anger, and even the roaring cochlea slowly rang out. Gradually, her ears lost their sense of hearing. "How can you do that? You're not playful and ignorant, but you're treating my life like a game. Can't stand you hopeless creature and see if I'll give you any, even a negligible chance. Tae-hee swung his fist and swore to the sky.
"But, tell me, Kim Tae-hee, can you really ignore that broom and leave him to fend for himself? Think about it, he's missing too much compared to you, isn't he? He has lost the protection of his parents, and if I don't even want him, do you want to watch that crazy guy go to a dead end? I can't do it, and the blood line of the same line won't collapse easily. β
Every time there was that thought of giving up, another voice in her body would knock on her head to comfort her: Kim Tae-hee, you fool, you can no longer trust Gu Beiming, you can no longer trust everyone around you, you can even be hostile to life, you can hate fate for taking away everything that belongs to you. But please, you must not give up this most precious gift left by your parents in the world! You have to bring him the unswerving loyalty to Gu Beiming, do you understand? No matter how bad he is, he is also your only relative, how can you say such cruel and affectionate words?"
Tae-hee glared at the flashing scenery in front of her with bloodshot eyes, and before she knew it, she quickened the throttle, her hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, her brows furrowed with difficulty.
"What the hell, what the hell am I going to do? I can't completely erase him from my life, if one day I watch him cornered and strewn across the streets, I will still feel heartache and feel endless guilt, won't I?"
Kim Tae-hee gritted his teeth while stroking his younger brother's avatar that was beating and flashing on his phone. Now she can't hold back anymore, just enough to let the tears flow. After all, in an empty corner, she is like a wildflower on the side of the road that is not dazzling, no one will notice, and no one will get in the way, will she?
At that moment, her heart sank as if it had been hit, and then she slowly lowered her hand holding the phone, and in the confined space where only her heart beat was silent, she felt like she was riding a rumbling train, and the fragments of the past were like torn roses that quickly pieced back together to their original appearance.
"Sister, I have already lost my parents, and I can't lose my sister anymore. Sister, can you bear to leave me alone and fly away? The outside world is high and the sea is high, but you really don't care about me? Even if I die in the wilderness, you won't look back at me, right?"
"Sister, you can't do without me, forever and ever. It's not my prayer, it's your promise to me. It's what you said we need to support and help each other. β
"No, don't. Tears slowly slipped down like beads of broken threads, and Kim Tae-hee was so painful at this moment that his whole heart was about to be torn apart. Under the strong feeling of depression, she was almost exhausted to breathe.
"Is it fate, nightmarish fate?"
In the speeding car, Kim Tae-hee's heart was like a knife, and at that moment, even the fingers that were tightly gripping the steering wheel were numb and crispy.
Tae-hee shifted his gaze to the distant side. Swallowing the saliva that was about to jump out of his throat again and again. Under the dim lantern, her face was stretched very long. The corners of her mouth rose slightly, pretending to be a smiling face, and if she hadn't seen her gloomy and haggard face in the rearview mirror, she wouldn't even know what kind of expression she was. And the slight tremor that came from the corners of the lips, the distorted calmness was like water in a cup, so precarious that it would overflow at any moment.
"Tae-hee, can you try to restrain your brother's behavior? Do you know that if you indulge him, one day he will push himself into the abyss from which he will never recover. Don't take the principle of being good and small and not doing nothing, didn't your teacher teach you?"
Gu Beiming didn't look directly into Kim Tae-hee's eyes, he suppressed his voice very low, as quiet as a dandelion blown away.
Kim Tae-hee's chest kept twitching, but she couldn't open her mouth when the words came to her mouth.
"Do you know what you're doing? You don't feel ashamed of the mistakes he made, but you always tell yourself that it's a naughty child, that's the nature of a child. Doting, indulgence and cover-up. If his mistakes can be forgiven, what about you? Do you tell me that love that makes a man lose himself is love?"
Gu Beiming took the coffee from the waiter's hand, his eyes were faint, and even the fingers that touched the wall of the cup when persuading her were extremely gentle. Over and over again, the porcelain tiles he brushed through flashed with a chill that did not match the quiet atmosphere.
"What do you mean, are you questioning me about my brother's innocuous mistakes? What is his mistake that you want to slander him with such vicious words. Such words came from the mouth of his brother-in-law, would he poke him into his already sensitive heart?"
"You are really a cold-blooded guy, yes, Gu Beichen is not your biological brother after all, of course you will not measure my brother from my point of view. Well, I'm just asking you, didn't you blush with your classmates once when you were in middle school? You didn't hit someone's head with your fist. Didn't your classmates hurt you with nasty words? Or did you grow up not knowing how to defend yourself by fighting back? β
Kim Tae-hee slowly approached his eyes.
She struggled with all her strength to calm her trembling hands that were wrapped around the walls of the glass.
Gu Beiming sat there quietly and did not answer, the gorgeous and nostalgic hollow chandelier emitted by the brilliant lights shining on Gu Beiming's side face with a clear temperament.
The drizzle of the night, ticking and ticking, quietly appeared and silently stirred in the pure darkness of the night.
The wind was blowing, and the night rain stained the curtain on the side of the window. The rain fell into an awkward stalemate.
"Haha, it's because I didn't think about it enough, how can a noble young master also have a school bullying thing?"
Kim Tae-hee turned away from his face and turned out of the rainy and hazy window.
"Tae-hee, some things are not what you think, and besides, what I just said made you suspicious, but my intentions are also good. After all, we don't want Min-hyuk to take a detour, do we? β
Gu Beiming said quietly.
"Suffer more losses, haven't our sisters and brothers suffered enough since childhood? It is enough for those who are pampered to suffer losses and grow, and those who are stepped into the mud have to suffer more setbacks!"
Kim Tae-hee immediately protested angrily. At that moment, her long-held emotions were about to explode.
"No, no, no. β
"Tae-hee, you still don't understand me... β
Gu Beiming became inexplicably nervous, and he kept folding his hands on the rim of the coffee cup.
"I don't know. "Under the gloomy canopy, the wild grass trembled everywhere like splashing water.
"I'm not the same person as you, so of course I won't understand your good intentions. Kim Tae-hee tried very hard to maintain a calm attitude, but at the moment, her heart was wrinkled like a headless fly running around, and she couldn't figure it out.
"It seems that it is difficult for me to explain to you clearly today, or I will send you home first, and you can carefully consider whether what I said is correct?"
Gu Beiming has always maintained an elegant gentlemanly demeanor on the surface, but in fact, deep down he is silently begging her, and he is actually afraid that the friendship that he has just managed will be wasted because of his bad words.
Gu Beiming looked at Kim Tae-hee, and the lights that were not extinguished all night were reflected on her frozen face. Her face was as white and dazzling as the tulips that bloomed, smooth and transparent, and her cheeks were crimson like the sunset.
"I know I don't know how to make a girl happy, and I don't know how to take care of my brother. But for you, and Kim Min-hyuk, my heart is the same as yours. Since I chose to love you, then I should also accept your only family, right? β
"Brother Beiming. β
Kim Tae-hee bit his lip and slowly spit out his name.
Gu Beiming felt a burst of joy in his heart. He continued to look at Tae-hee for a while, and seeing that her face, which had been hesitant for a long time, slowly became rosy, he moved forward slightly, and almost at the same moment, he grabbed her cold hand.
"Tae-hee. At that moment, Kim Tae-hee's eyes opened gently like a doll's eyes, her eyebrows were slightly twisted, and her jaw was slightly tense. When her thin lips opened slightly, her eyes were slightly lowered like a sea of stars. I didn't even have time to think, and tears rushed down the glass with oblique finger marks again.
Gu Beiming's eyes were resolute and earnest, and the kind of love beyond imagination and her brother's disdain for squandering echoed in her stunned mind.
The crying gradually weakened.
The wind outside the window was even colder, and it let out a long sigh one after another.
"No, even if the sky falls, I can't bow my head. There is no one behind me, and even if the cold world adds more indifference, I can only live with affection. Even if it's not for yourself, think about that unscrupulous person. β
"Forgive your sins. Kim Tae-hee parked the car firmly in the parking space, and she slowly closed her tired eyes. Her eyes flashed again as she took her brother from her dying mother. And at this moment, her mother's gradually blurred face can no longer evoke the same pain as she did back then, even if she is sad, she will not shed tears. It's just that in the face of her younger brother who sucks her blood like a bottomless pit, she adds a feeling of unease and fear. With tears in her eyes, she folded her hands and prayed silently, praying that after today's terrible night, her brother would be able to change his ways. Even though the happy past between her and Gu Beiming was always like a shattered dream, she no longer had any hope for herself at this moment. Compared with greeting the patronage of the early morning with hazy eyes and chaotic minds every morning, the heartbeat is the most cruel reality in this floating world.
Thinking of this, Tae-hee smiled. Anyone with a discerning eye can tell that she doesn't really want to laugh, but just wants to make her heart a little better with a smile on her eyebrows.
"So be it, leave me all the things that make you tired and sad, and I will take care of it for you. Also, Miss Kim Tae-hee, please smile now! Let me see your clear and cheerful smile. β
Kim Tae-hee glanced at the post-it note on the passenger seat. The face that was obscured by dark clouds slowly became clearer.
Tossing and turning a few times After taking a deep breath, Tae-hee got out of the car.
"Snowflakes get up, snowflakes get up, roar roar, snowflakes get up, snowflakes get up, good morning. β
"It's noisy, can you let people sleep a little longer, and even if you want to set an alarm clock, don't be so naΓ―ve. Come on, you're really not a three-year-old hairy kid anymore. β
"Oh, you don't like it, you set my phone ringtone to "I'm your master Shirley", and I thought you liked this kind of weird personal customization. β
"I don't like it! I don't like it! I don't like it!! how many times have I told you, don't be so naΓ―ve? And when you were in Qingyi, you weren't like that. It's not just that you don't change your playfulness, you always choose to stay in the comfort zone when it's time to work hard. I really don't know what to say about you?"
"Oh, so do you like me who I used to be? What was I like when I used to be, and you like me the way I looked? Sure enough, the way I spent extravagantly and treated money like dung was really charming. β
"What do you mean, you make it clear. When is it time for you to get through the rest of your life, do you still have the heart to be angry with me? Why, are you an animal with questions in the back of your head? You have to be driven away by others to see current events, right?"
Gu Beichen stepped out of bed unhurriedly, he gently opened the champagne-colored curtains embroidered with crimson roses, and stared at the vast sky through the dark cross window of gold and brown, only to see that the sky outside the window was blue and clear. In the flower bed outside the small window, the buds of the slightly blooming roses are lined up. Tender red and crimson compete with each other, just like the exquisite crescent bay, shining brightly, and everywhere you look, it is different and colorful.
"Hey, I'm really not kidding you. And why do you always look like you're angry with me? Don't you think I hate the way you are?"
"Huh. Gu Beichen had a very faint and helpless smile on his face. "Then I used to raise the bar with you all day long, and even surrounded by countless fans who threw me into their arms, why could you still accept my hypocrisy at that time? It's not right, we hit it off, you always look like you want to refuse and welcome, and even your classmates think you have a bad character. β
He pushed open the window, the gentle mist with layers of heat waves rushed towards him, the golden sun made him a little dizzy, he lowered his eyes slightly, only to see pure white fluff clustered with green calyxes, just like a girl looking forward to love on the shore of Lake Baikal, with affection between her smile and smile. At the outermost end of the flower garden is a dense sea buckthorn, and every needle leaf is drenched with transparent morning dew.
Through the staggered needles, the air is faintly filled with moisture, as if it is shrouded in a jewel-like light.
Gu Beichen took a step and slowly walked into a world as fresh as a dream, and every time he moved his steps forward, the mist under the dense green grass gradually became soft and transparent. When the first rays of sunlight shine into every inch of the flower garden, colorful flowers ripple everywhere. Drops of startled dew swept across his stiff eyelids. The gradually wet earth was dotted with countless small golden stars like reflections.
He squinted slightly. The closed eyes showed a spring-like redness.
"Hey, Gu Beichen. Can't you hear me? I'll tell you to delete the alarm clock and the ringing of your phone. I don't want to hear it, maybe I used to have the heart to play about it, but now I don't feel comfortable looking at the little life we live. By the way, are your parents really going to leave you alone?"
"Give me a good reason, okay? What's going on in your house. Since you and your brother are not the same mother, you can tear your face at a critical moment, and besides, you don't know that what you have lost is not money but an iron foundation. How do you earn back everything you lost? β
Gu Beichen listened carefully to Cui Xueli's words, his fingers gently rubbing the petals tightened rapidly, and an irrepressible cold air spread along his slender legs to his whole body. In an instant, his indifferent back was visibly frozen for a few seconds. The flower in his hand, which had been twisted and folded, was planted in the dirt at his feet. It took him a long time to come back to his senses.
"What if I said yes? What are you going to do, stay here or turn away. You still have a choice, don't wait until you go abroad to regret it. β
"Hey, hey, hey. Gu Beichen, do you know what you're talking about? Is it to go or stay, you can blurt out such words, right? You are so disappointing, why do you choose to avoid it when you encounter a problem, there is no manly responsibility at all. β
Gu Beichen's two arms dragged weakly beside his trousers. Fingers tugging at the abrupt trouser line.
"When you liked me in the past, you said that you liked my unique personality charm, and you said that you talked about material vulgarity, but what you pursued was actually elegant style. Do you know that I have been working hard for our business, born in a complicated family, and even the harvest is twisted and turned. It's not like you ordinary people who only run one road with one mind, if you run through, it is success, and if you can't run, it is a failure, and it is really clear. β
Gu Beichen squeezed the thin lip like a bud extremely tightly, and the lips that were still as transparent as crystal just now were sprinkled with bright red blood beads.
"You. β
"You're really good at talking nonsense, and these nonsense is the right reason for your mourning. Gu Beichen, I just want to get a promise from you. I just wanted to ask you how long it takes for you to live an ordinary life. You, you really don't understand me. Even if we have the same diploma. β
Gu Beichen didn't have the heart to pay attention to Shirley's emotional changes at all, he looked at him stupidly. I was thinking about what Lee Hyun-jin had said. In a trance, he casually wrapped his arms around Shirley's shoulder, his breathing getting lighter and lighter, and his eyes were full of pampering.
"Don't make a fuss, I don't want to pay attention to you right now. β
Shirley insisted.
"You're unreasonable. β