In the past, when I was alone, I was lonely but it was a fixed situation, and I felt that everything was within my foresight, and I was at ease. Now that I am living with someone else, I am scared, and I feel that the future is becoming more and more unknown, and it may be unique to me, which really scares me.

For experiencing one's own emotions, these experiences are precious and necessary, otherwise you will not be able to make your emotions complete, this is the real situation, when it does not happen, I really can't experience such emotions, experience my own emotions, some, do need to be experienced.

This kind of experience is unimaginable, described by others, you may not be able to feel, and some details of the emotional fluctuations, really need to experience it yourself to be able to experience, maybe many people are right, not to the end of life, many of your feelings may be paranoid.

I feel that even at the end of my life, many of my feelings are a little paranoid, and when I realize this, I will not believe in my own authority, and I will not believe in the authority of what others say, and all this authority will dissipate, but what should we do, before there is no authority that we can trust, we always have to believe in some authority, this is a human attitude.

Is there any other harm to it? Do you really care about these things at this time? I'm afraid not, this is me in the midst of violent emotional fluctuations, and I don't care about the state of my body.

So what do you care about? I can't tell myself, I can't stop venting, writing in the book, just like that, I don't know what I'm doing, what I've written, when I read it later, I really can't imagine what kind of violent emotions I had at that time, what happened to me at that time, such violent emotional fluctuations, the reality that really exists, at that time I had violent emotional fluctuations, this is real, but when I read it, I may not feel it, I myself sometimes can't feel it, recall it, it was written in what state of my own, the thinker is under violent emotional fluctuationsWhat exactly is written?

Now this is the state, there should be various other expressions, I really admire myself, okay, rest, sleep, all this will subside, I will narrate and write my own books in another style, and now the emotional fluctuations will not lead me astray, but are full of another charm, I really like it.

Now I can't tell you what it's like, I have written so many descriptions that I think are easier to understand, but it may not be easy for others to understand, and the main reason is that I am the whole theory together, and those who read it will not see the continuity, and I will scatter it in the book, and it will still be difficult to form the whole system theory after all.

For me, of course, I can continue to read it, and I don't want to let my mood fluctuate at all, I really don't understand why my mood swings were so bad before? Maybe this is unique to lonely people, who need emotional support, and this emotional support is based on other things, and there will be no fluctuations in the past.

Is there anything you want to lose, at least the books aren't that durable, there's nothing you can do, you don't want to go back, you put yourself on the verge of that kind of madness, seriously, what kind of state are you in now? Why is it that you are in such a state now, is there nothing to be recognized?

Definitely not, maybe it's okay to say that, the limitations of my own cognition appear, I can't break through, I feel like I'm almost clear about everything, in fact, this is a vague sense of clarity, more specific, more detailed, or there is no bottom in my heart.

It's like I don't know why I used to be the way I was, why I am the way I am now, what caused me to change this way, to become the way I am now, all of these things are changing, and there are many reasons for the change, all of which are affecting me, that is, all the situations that are happening around me in reality are affecting me.

Sometimes I really can't believe this change in reality, it's like a dream, it's like this, it's not real, but it really happened, it really happened, I don't believe it myself at all, maybe when a person comes into my life, my world changes dramatically.

It made me feel really dreamy, I didn't believe it was real, but the reality was really real, and all of a sudden, the floating emotions found a place to rest, and thinking and writing were diluted, really diluted, which is to say that thinking and writing was no longer the main part of my attention, everything about her was attracting me.

That's how it happened, I don't know what kind of power exists that makes me so irresistible, when I was alone before, I could make a lot of choices that seemed to be very active, but now I can't, follow her, this is the difference between one person and two people, and the difference between a person and a group of people.

When you are alone, you feel that you are really in control of your own destiny, and the choice is completely up to you, and when you live in a group, sometimes the individual is not in control of your own destiny, but depends on the choices made by the people living in the group, and follows, if you are different, it is a kind of resistance, that is a kind of detachment, that is a kind of conflict.

That is to say, if you are different, what will happen, then enter a state of loneliness, unsociable, this is the big aspect, if it is from the small aspect, that is, if you can't follow her, you can't live as two people, you always resist, always want to make your own choice, the other person follows you.

To be honest, if you have such an ability, if you are not afraid, if you don't care about the other party, you can really do this, then you have two endings, either continue to be lonely, or the other party follows you to choose, in fact, generally in the end the choice is correct, it is difficult for two people to unify, each seems to have its own reason.

But it seems to be really helpless, because your choice really belongs only to your correctness, you have to let go of your own choice, follow the other party's choice, can I really choose by myself? But I am so afraid, is this my character flaw?

If you want to choose by yourself, take the initiative to choose, then choose loneliness, if you want to integrate into the family, let's put it this way, if you want to integrate into a small home, then you really can't take the initiative to choose, you have to follow some people to choose, some to grasp the authority, to master the authoritative choice that I am afraid of.

These are also my understanding, my understanding of the world, my own understanding of this era, what is the effect of so much understanding, this really stumped me, for me, it may be clearer about myself and the world, so that my mentality is better, and I can cultivate, as if I can evolve the brain, to be honest, whether there is any evolution, this I am not particularly clear, but I feel that I seem to have become stronger, at least I can rely on thinking, to be able to come up with so much understanding.

Is there any other aspect, some change in habits, which is also true, and what else? Is there any other purpose of these realizations? Writing books, which is also what they are doing, what else can be used for, what can be created? For me, there may still be a real dilemma, maybe something can be obtained by others.

Find a place where I can rely on my emotions, there are many reasons, just like in reality, my change is not a change of one reason, there are many reasons, many reasons that I don't know, those reasons I know, I don't know the reasons, the exploration seems to be not complete.