Psychological Counseling Room, Tianfu New Area Maternal and Child Health Hospital......

A woman walked to Lele's studio with a teenager down, and the teenager lowered his head and didn't say a word, which is a typical depressive symptom.

"Hello, I am the office manager of the third class of the seventh middle school, my name is Ni Jing, I was introduced to you through Su Bei, I don't want to give up on this child, please help him. Ni Jing said anxiously.

"Leave it to me, you can get busy!" said Lele.

After Ni Jing left, Lele poured a glass of water and handed it to the young man.

"Drink water, brother. ”

The young man raised his head and glanced at Lele, Lele hadn't seen this kind of look for a long time, this was a regretful look, a disappointment in the world, what did this young man go through......

After two hours of psychological counseling, Lele listened to the inner world of this teenager, and the teenager's name was Xiaohao.

Studying at Tianfu New District No. 7 Middle School, I had a conversation during a recent conflict with my homeroom teacher.

"Teacher, what do you mean?"

"I'm in love with her, if you have any opinions, you can tell me. ”

"What do you mean by telling her? ”

"She's a girl anyway. ”

"What did you let her do in school in the future. ”

"It's really weird that you're doing that. ”

The reason is that he feels that his girlfriend is being bullied, and if he wants to drop out of school, we may not understand why a freshman in high school would have such a huge ability to explode into such a thing.

There was a sentence in the consultation that left a deep impression on Lele.

"A lot of people have left me and I don't want to lose her again. ”

During the two-hour consultation and communication, Lele learned that 19-year-old Xiaohao had experienced three important departures in his life.

The first time was the departure of his aunt, and Xiao Hao before the age of five lived with his parents in Guangzhou. Later, for various reasons, their family of three lived in three cities, Xiao Hao was fostered in his aunt's house, at that time Xiao Hao's biggest wish was to hope that his parents could go back to see him more, his aunt was a simple person, due to a car accident in his early years, his legs and feet were inconvenient, but he tried his best to take care of Xiao Hao, who was in elementary school. Xiao Hao said that his aunt's favorite shrimp soup is made without shrimp, which is made with starch and green onion with vinegar, and the soup is full of rich fragrance. It's probably a taste he will never forget for the rest of his life. One day when Xiao Hao was in the sixth grade of elementary school, it was the alternation of autumn and winter, and the weather was very cold. Xiao Hao just replied casually and went out, that day, he was a student on duty at the school, standing guard at the school gate when he was out of school, at this time, his aunt suddenly appeared at the door, his aunt looked at him straight, walked to him and said, "My aunt is gone." ”

Xiao Haoqiang held back his tears, the way home was not too far from the school, crying and walking, it was the longest section of the road he had ever walked, he never thought that this was more important than his parents, and his relatives, who had lived for seven years, would leave him so soon.

The second time is the departure of my father, my mother came back more than half a year after my aunt's death, with her full self, forcibly entered Xiao Hao's life, in the consultation, Xiao Hao repeatedly preached, my mother is not like my aunt, my mother is a strict person, so many years of lack of companionship, and my mother does not understand the child, which makes Xiao Hao and his mother get along not very well, on the one hand, he is happy that his mother is back, but on the other hand, he also lost your original control of life, such a life lasted for two years, separated parents, began to quarrel frequently on the phone, and the quarrel when they met, it became more and more intense, every time parents quarreled, Xiao Hao will hide in his room, while doing homework, while eavesdropping on the movement outside, sometimes he will secretly wipe his tears, finally in the third year of junior high school Xiao Hao knew, his parents were going to divorce, Dad's departure, so that his mother became more and more strict and irritable, she began to entrust all her hopes to Xiao Hao, her mother would ask him to copy a formula a hundred times, but her mother's strictness, the worse Xiao Hao's grades, the homeroom teacher in order not to let him affect the learning status of other students, arranged his seat at the back of the classroom, the most corner position, the entire third year of junior high school, Xiao Hao did not have a table, except for the trash can at the back of the classroomLater, he failed the high school entrance examination, and Xiao Hao came to Chengdu Secondary School.

The third departure occurred in the secondary school, in high school, Xiao Hao lived in the school, he seemed to get a huge relief, he said that he no longer had to listen to his mother say to him every day, you have to study hard, our family depends on you. Relaxed mentality, but let his grades have been improved, not long after, into the key class, in the key class can not spit out ivory he met a special girl Xiao Min, Xiao Min also from a single-parent family, they confide in each other, comfort each other, silently encourage each other, until an exam, Xiao Min's grades declined, the head teacher called her to the office to talk, between the words, intentionally or unintentionally mentioned the relationship between the two people, sensitive Xiao Min was very uncomfortable, she cried and ran out of the office, and all this, Xiao Hao saw in his eyes, he ran into the office emotionally, and the head teacher had a big fight。

Such a childish desire to be recognized collapses in the face of such a special relationship, and many people may think that this is a puppy love that should not happen. But for Xiao Hao, this can indeed give him a valuable resource for spiritual comfort, in the face of his aunt's death, his parents' divorce, no one explained all kinds of confusion for him, why did his aunt leave him so early, why did his parents divorce. Xiao Hao is used to facing the world alone, and Xiao Min, who is also from a single-parent family, is willing to listen to him, accept him, and lose her, which means that Xiao Hao has to put on these equipment again to face the world alone, Xiao Min's departure makes him feel scared, and his dependence on Xiao Min is actually a distrust of this world.

These various factors have led to Xiao Hao's depressed state, her life trajectory is like a broken line, he regards Xiao Min as his inner psychological pillar, and now this pillar has also left him, Lele is the first time to contact such a serious psychological patient.

What Lele needs to do is to find Xiao Hao's own life track, only by letting him return to his own track, all those pains, depression, sensitivity, and depression caused by leaving can be soothed and calmed.

This child is lucky, there are many migrant workers like Xiaohao, they have to face separation from their parents again and again since they were young, and the parent-child relationship has a natural gap due to geographical distance, for them, psychological care is particularly important, and this is the way that psychological counselors have always insisted on.

In the inability to change the reality situation, how to enter the heart into Xiao Hao's heart, this is the most difficult.

Xiao Hao said that his aunt's departure, his father's departure, his heart was anxious, the biggest depression was the divorce of his parents, Xiao Hao's relationship with his mother was not a very pleasant experience, he pinned this hope on his father, every time it came to the New Year, if Dad could come back, maybe there were some fresh elements in the family to come back, this home would be perfect, but what I never expected was that my father finally came back, and the result was more quarrels, my mother actually had a lot of emotions waiting for my father to come back at this time, and I couldn't wait for my father to come back to vent my inner emotionsIt was a very pleasant scene of such a happiness. But in Xiao Hao's family, his father's return brought back more pain and unbearable memories.

As a psychological counselor, it is more with a sense of mission, which is a big taboo, psychological counselors should prevent excessive involvement in the patient's inner world in counseling, which will produce a kind of resonance, and will often be brought into that emotion, resulting in anxiety.

A counselor is a professional listener, listening to the inner voice of the help-seeker and listening to the emotions he has suppressed for a long time and wants to express. and the voice of the mind that is psychologically indissolvable and indissolvable.

Lele sent Xiaohao back to Ni Jing's hands, and every day he came to his counselor, and Lele began to formulate a rehabilitation plan.

Why did Xiao Hao have such a big conflict with the head teacher. In fact, from Xiao Hao's point of view, he has a lot of emotions that are suppressed, in this process, he has been due to the departure of his relatives, whether it is the death of his relatives, or the death, he has a lot of things projected into it, or poured into it, he has not received a corresponding response, he will keep looking for it, silently waiting, until there is a person he thinks can be replaced, this person is Xiao Min.

Ethically speaking, we are the closest people in blood, it is precisely such a close blood relationship, whether it is legal or reasonable, often due to non-communication, it will become estranged, even if there are things, the relationship is innate, or it is natural, you don't communicate, no matter how good the relationship will become slowly estranged, the family relationship its connection bond, it has a basic bond, and there is an acquired bond, the basic bond is the blood relationship, the legal relationship, the ethical relationship, the acquired bond is the quality of communication, the establishment of communication channels, and then the content of the communication. The psychology of migrant workers is a desire to be respected.

Placing a child next to the trash can, from a psychological point of view, is called psychological projection, which means that the child will feel that I am not the same person as other classmates, I seem to be the same person as the garbage, and the sense of self-deprecation and self-identification will rise. He may give up on himself because of this, and his mother's hope for Jackie Chan will make him even more depressed.

Many children of migrant workers are in an unfamiliar city, and a sense of disparity in their hearts will arise spontaneously. Psychological counseling is mostly problem-oriented, not to treat the disease, but to treat the disease, and the psychological counselor is often the firefighter.

Departure, death, divorce. Dad, Aunt, Xiaomin. This is the crux of this child, if these problems are solved, this child will go on the right track, how to understand the child's inner state, this is what Lele needs to study.