I continued: "If you don't meet the criteria for a girl's mate selection right now, what you should do is to change yourself first to meet the criteria for a girl's mate selection, and you need to think about what the girl can do from you after dating the girl. If you don't improve yourself, you just know how to blindly say to the girl, "I like you, please be my girlfriend," who would give love because they pity someone? This will only make the girl feel that you are naïve. ”

"And can she meet someone who likes her as much as I do?"

"As long as this girl keeps herself beautiful, more and more people will like her. After all, she is a girl, and her circle of contacts is constantly expanding, she will meet the directors and managers of those companies, those men who go skiing and traveling, and the men she can choose will become better and better, so there will be more and more people who like her as much as you. ”

"Those men must be very attentive when they have the money to travel, and I am afraid that she will be deceived. ”

I laughed and said, "Are you afraid that someone will rob you?"

According to your logic, if you have money and have a heart for money, are you ready in your heart, and once you have money, you will have to spend your heart, or are you ready to live a life of poverty? Also, you are not in love, you are not married, you say that you are not careful, how can we believe it?"

"I ......" Zhao Ping lowered his head, looking very frustrated.

"As for whether she was deceived or not, two weeks ago, when you didn't know each other, would you be worried that she was deceived? No. You won't care about her at all. Now, because I know you, the girl seems to belong to you, and you are worried about her being deceived, afraid that others will rob you of your "toy"? Then make yourself better and win in the competition! Cheating or not, this question is what girls need to think about, and you as an outsider don't have to worry about it. ”

Zhao Ping was a little unhappy: "Then you mean I won't do anything?"

Zuo Mi and Wang Yirou glanced at me.

"If you are thinking about how to opportunistically advance your so-called relationship, or showdown, during this time, I advise you not to do it, it is pointless, and it will definitely fail. But if you ask me what I need to do to make my relationship go well, I'm telling you that you need to act now, find out why the girl doesn't like you, and then start to change. After you change the adjustment, you can re-date her. Note that after the change, if there is no change, do not make an appointment. ”

"So what do I focus on?"

"You have to let go of the "moral judge" thinking and accept the "worldly thinking" so that the girl can feel your maturity. Specifically, it is to be "secularized" from dealing with people, speaking and doing things, to thinking about problems. After all, we all have to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom, and don't put ourselves in a position of superiority. ”

Of course, from another point of view, the question asked by Zhao Ping is also very typical, he just blindly emphasizes how satisfied he is with the girl, afraid of losing the girl, but he does not realize a problem - love, love is actually secular life.

The family is urging - this is a statement that many boys have on their lips, and they are all righteous. The reality is that your parents urge you to be tight, what does it have to do with other girls? When a girl meets you on a blind date, you want to urge the girl to fall in love with you, and the girl owes you a wife? The matter of your family's urging to marry is your pressure, don't be like a child, and when you see a girl, you are anxious to throw the pressure to others, which is a very naïve approach. Girls don't choose you because it's really not suitable. Don't you feel ashamed to always use reasons like "she doesn't agree, what can I do?" to prevaricate your aging parents? It's not that the girl doesn't agree, but because you're not good enough, and she can't look down on you like such a naïve, I didn't say these words to Zhao Ping, for fear of damaging his confidence.

Zhao Ping was hit by me and didn't know what to say, Zuo Mi coaxed me away when he saw this, there was no way, I could only run to Ye Xuan to find comfort, Jin Wenhui went on a business trip, no one was there, so I could only hug Ye Xuan's thigh.

Zuo Mi said to Zhao Ping: "Drink water first, I'll tell you slowly, just now my husband, he doesn't understand women." ”

"But...... I have a question?"

"Just say. Zuo Mi said euphemistically.

"How did he catch up with you?"

"Well, well, I'll take my husband as an example, I know him is also a kind of fate, when I first saw him, I was the same as passers-by, nothing attracted my eyes, and in the days of getting along, my husband has a different kindness and innocence ...... from others."

"That doctor was so lucky, although he hit me hard, but I did recognize a lot of my own problems, can you tell me, how can I change to win that girl's heart?"

Zuo Mi smiled and said: "In the human world, only babies rely on crying and unreasonable nonsense to achieve their goals, and what adults want, that must rely on their own struggle, the same is true for love, instead of being entangled in all kinds of childish ideas, it is better to find ways to adjust your thinking and improve yourself, this is a reliable approach, take the liberty to ask how much your monthly income is now?"

"Less than five thousand. Zhao Ping lowered his head in shame.

"It's okay, don't blame yourself, many men, especially those who are younger or have less experience in love, in their eyes, love is a very pure thing. Their concept of love is that this is a sacred and pure love, just a boy's natural relationship with a girl because of love, and all external factors cannot affect this pure love, so when they contact the girl with this "pure heart", as long as the girl disagrees or mentions a little material or life requirements, such as picking on his income, family, etc., they begin to say that women love money, and women are material. In their eyes, pure love cannot be tainted by material things, no matter how poor and bad they are, but this love is pure and has sacred significance, and has nothing to do with their income, family, etc. Girls need to know and value this love, and they must cherish it, otherwise it will be an insult to their sincerity. What do you think?"

"I ...... I seem to understand something, and I think about it from the other side's point of view, and the doctor just said that I was right, I was too selfish. ”

"Think about it this way, if her parents really entrust their daughter to you, and the one you like becomes your girlfriend or wife, and she wants to buy clothes, skin care products, snacks, cars, travel, etc., all these money are what you have to afford, and you have to afford, because this is your girlfriend or wife early, what are you going to do?"

"I'll try to make money. Zhao Ping had a firm attitude.

"It's good that you have this kind of heart, but what else?"

Zhao Ping couldn't answer for a long time.

Zuo Mi continued: "You don't just want to fall in love with a girl and don't think about other things, right? Your girl is a real person, she wants to eat, she spends money, she wants to buy clothes, she goes shopping, she wants to eat snacks and go out to play, are you going to tie her to the house? Of course not, first, she violates human rights, and secondly, she will not agree, which goes back to the question of "what are you going to do?" On this point, I want to tell you, we are all human beings, food, clothing, shelter and transportation are our basic needs, it is our responsibility to honor our parents, it is our obligation to educate our offspring, these are all things that require money, after marriage and have a child, you have to provide for him until adulthood, and at the same time you have to take care of both parents properly, you don't just want to fall in love with a girl, and wait for someone else to help you raise your children and take care of your parents, right?"

"This ......"

"The love between a man and a woman is the fusion of two big families, and your parents and her parents are involved. When a boy begins to pursue a girl, the girl must not only see whether the boy will take care of her, but also whether the boy has a plan for his future life, because this is directly related to the quality of life of the family in the future. I say two aspects, think about it yourself, first, the guarantee of the pension life of both parents, and the quality of life when the pension is old, you will not just want to chase other people's daughters, just want to meet the idea of having a girlfriend, and never thought about the life security of the girl's parents, second, the future of the child's security, involving the child's educational environment, growth environment, where the child grows, what kind of literacy the child should have, etc., you will not just want her to fall in love with you, you have not thought about the problem of the child, right? Maybe you didn't think of these two items, I think it's understandable, because it is the matter of parents and future children, these are "other people's" things, and some people will use "my parents are divorced" and "my parents don't take care of me" as an excuse to prove that this is indeed "someone else's" thing. Don't you tell me about the food, clothing, housing and transportation of you and your girl in the future?"

"Don't you say that I really haven't thought about this problem, I thought about it when I made money, and I didn't think about the parent's pension and the future children. ”

Zuo Mi was stunned for a long time and said: "If you really haven't thought about it before, then please think about it now." The girl you pursue, whether it is from the city or from the countryside, which is not the "princess" of the family?" She has grown up in the care and pampering of her parents since she was a child, and she has been materially satisfied since she was a child, she can buy whatever clothes she wants, eat whatever food she wants, and even lose her temper and her family will spoil and coax her, she has been satisfied with everything since she was a child. As a result, you began to pursue her, and then this girl's food, clothing, housing and transportation were not in your consideration, you just need "pure" love. Girls don't fall in love with you, they can go to eat "hamburgers" after work; after falling in love with you, they can only eat instant noodles, and girls don't want to eat instant noodles and leave you, and then you say "women love money" and "women are vain", this kind of waste-style complaining, isn't it very cowardly?

"I think you have a point, empathy is true, I apologize to the doctor just now, his words and yours are worth reading ten years. ”