"Becky:

By the time I read these words, I was probably in another world.

Hehe, that's a cliché, isn't it? Today is our sixth anniversary, remember? I never thought that I would hear your voice again in the last days of my life. You said you wanted to hear my explanation. But what can I explain? Forgive me, okay? It's every girl's nature to love beauty, I just want you to remember how beautiful I was. Using an accident as a farewell to you may be my best choice.

In fact, at the beginning of 05, a rare genetic disease that had been hidden in my body for 18 years had turned dominant. Very awkward medical term. The doctor said that the chance of a cure was very small, and that I might only have three years to live. Seeing my grandmother quietly wiping her tears in the room, I felt the preciousness of life for the first time. Although I was reluctant, I still chose to break up with you. Maybe after the separation, the relationship gradually faded, and when it came to the day three years later, there would be no feeling.

But why did you stick back later? You've embarrassed me. Maybe I really can't bear you. On the other hand, a year has passed, and I don't feel any signs of illness. So I luckily thought it was just a misdiagnosis, a joke by God playing tricks on me.

But you can't hide from what should come. At the end of August '07, not long after you returned to school, my illness still flare-up. My parents decided to take me to Spain in order to take care of me. It dragged on for a month and had to go. I'm sorry, I can't bear to let you share this, so before leaving, with the help of my sister, we single-handedly directed the story of the car accident.

I have been following you all these days in Spain. Looking at the words in your space, I couldn't help but hide in the toilet and cry loudly several times. I never thought you cared so much about me. Forgive me, okay? Forgive me for my selfishness.

On the 13th of this month, my sister called across the ocean, telling that she was lying. Then I got a call from you. I was speechless in the face of your questioning, and in just 5 minutes of calling, I felt like a long life, and I couldn't control my tears.

Forgive my selfishness, my dear, my body is getting worse and worse, I really don't know how long I can support myself. Half a year, a month, or a week, maybe tonight. Lying in an empty intensive care ward in the dead of night, it is a kind of helplessness that watches time pass but is powerless to grasp.

I'm sorry, I really can't write anymore, a thousand words, but I can't do it. But I'm very happy, my dear, it was you who made me have something to remember at the end of my life, and thank you for making me the happiest princess in the world. Will you forgive me? The princess is leaving, and if there really is heaven over there, I will pray for you every day.

I will leave with a smile that day, and please always remember the girl who deceived you.

Say to you for the last time I love you.

18 November 2008"

The lights weren't on, only the faint light of the computer screen still reminded me that I was still living in this half-dreaming world. Although it was daytime, there was a more or less gray glow in the air. Lying on my back on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, as if I was in a cloud, I couldn't see or touch everything in front of me, and the answers to the stories that had plagued me for more than two years turned out to be the same.

But why, Lele wrote the letter on 11/18/08, but did not send it until 1/6/09? Why is there a full month and a half between the two?

My heart was full of suspicions, although I hadn't contacted Lin Hui since that quarrel, but for Lele's sake, I finally dialed her phone.

"She left at 2:13 p.m. on January 5......" Lin Hui's voice was as calm as before, and she couldn't hear any emotion, "That email should have been sent by her friend." ”

"Sister Hui...... "I didn't expect Lele to hide it from me for so long, and I didn't notice it in the slightest, or I noticed it, but I never cared." I don't believe it, I don't believe that all this is true, now I should rather believe the explanation that Lele gave me at the beginning, the explanation that made me hate for half a year.

"I just, just want you, let you remember me forever and forever" Lele, I don't know what kind ......of mood you will be in when you say this, maybe it's more of a disappointment with me.

"You've never really understood Lele!" Lin Hui's tone carried a hint of hatred.

"No...... I love her......" I argued weakly.

"Do you love her? Do you know how she spent the last year of her life? Do you know her good intentions to hide from you in every possible way? Do you know how happy and happy she was when she received the ring? Do you know that every time she calls across the ocean, it is always you who talks the most? No, you don't know! In your eyes, there are only computers! Only games! I don't know why Lele loves you so much, what is so ......good about you?"

"Don't ...... Don't say it......" Tears finally flowed unhindered, soaking my face.

The eye can often see the farthest and most unreachable scenery, but it can never see the eyelashes that are always by its side and never leave it.

I'm sorry Lele, I really don't know.

Time freezes in that second, forever and ever......

Ten years of life and death. Don't think about it, it's unforgettable. Thousands of miles of lonely graves, nowhere to talk about desolation. Even if you don't know each other, your face is dusty, and your temples are like frost. Come and dream at night. Xiao Xuan window, dressing. There are no words for each other, only a thousand lines of tears, and it is expected that the intestines will be broken every year, the bright moon night, and the short Matsuoka.

This is Su Dongpo's mourning for his deceased wife, and he has read it countless times and burst into tears countless times.

Forgive me for not having Su Shi's talent, and I have never been able to write that unforgettable attachment under my clumsy pen, so I can only engrave the long-forgotten name on the paper over and over again, densely ......

Once again, I found Xiaojing.

"She's a good girl, but I'm not a person, and it's hard to really experience such unusual feelings. As for you, don't be numb, after all, it's beautiful that you can have this thing in the past. She made up a white lie, maybe she knew that this lie would be discovered one day, but in order to let you not know the truth so quickly, or so that you can accept the truth more calmly when you know the truth, it can be regarded as practicing sadness. If you have experienced more, you will naturally know how to deal with it, and it is good to think like this. You also have your own life, don't be too immersed in sadness, don't doubt your own life! In fact, we have only lived for more than 20 years, and maybe there will be more wonderful lives waiting for us in the future.

Hehe, come on, come on, our college life is almost over, in fact, we really say that we are going to graduate, and we will be reluctant to ...... everyone."

Listening to Xiaojing's words, I suddenly thought of Xiao Yi, Liu Han, and those familiar faces.

I remember that everyone said that they should keep in touch often after graduation, but now, how long has it been since there has been no news? Time can really forget a lot of things and forget a lot of feelings.

Xiaojing, do you think we will do the same in the future?

I quietly stared at the beautiful face of the girl in front of me, and fell into deep thought......

(2010.10.21 This chapter has been revised)