When I was ten years old, the hotel run by my father began to go downhill, mortgages, loans, and my father was sad all day long and in a bad mood. Mom and Dad are still arguing all the time, and their relationship is broken. At the low point of his life, Dad didn't get any comfort from Mom, and heard mostly complaints, as well as quarrels about Mom reaching out for money. The workers of the hotel came in waves, including a girl from the countryside, seeing that my dad was depressed, she would always come to comfort and help my dad come up with ideas, saying that it is now the time when migrant workers are entering the city, we can let the migrant workers move in first, and it doesn't matter if there is no money, you can pay on credit. The price is cheap, and a room can put a bunk and sleep more than a dozen people. The people in the hotel are busy again, and so many people come to eat with cash. The hotel's income and expenditure are gradually improving. Dad also had a relationship with this girl, and later she became my little mother.

The appearance of my little mother and sister was when I was ten years old, and it was also a turning point in my life, the bubble that supported a good life burst, the lies were exposed, and all the good past became an illusion, looming, making me feel that he was real, or that he was a fake at all. The mountain I relied on the most did not fall, but ruthlessly abandoned my young self.

I was sent to my grandmother's house, and my young heart was hurt and became sensitive. When I went to my grandmother's house before, my grandmother had a big grandson on the left and a big grandson on the right, and they were holding and leading, and they bought delicious food. Now it was a look of indifference, and I realized that my original home was not home. Mom and Dad weren't married, and I was an illegitimate child. The original magnificence, fine clothes and food, the house I lived in, and the car I was proud of, now I can only be nostalgic. And my toys, bed, pillows, quilts, all became the objects of my thoughts day and night.

I can't go back home, and my mother has registered her marriage. Now I can only live in this little dark room with only one bed and one table, dark and cold, without windows, thinking about the past and crying at night. I was depressed all day long, and I didn't have the sunshine of my peers. But the days still have to pass, I slowly began to try to cheer up, and any difficulties could not overwhelm the child's innocence and splendor. I also made up my mind to study hard, study hard at school, help my grandmother with housework at home, do laundry, cook, mop the floor, and do all the work I could.

Grandma nagged a lot, every time she ate, she said, don't chirp when you eat, you will be poor when you chirp, whoever is our neighbor, just chirp when you eat, you see how poor his family is. Whoever can chirp, there is more than one in our village. Every time my grandmother finished speaking, I hung my head and didn't speak. At this time, grandma will say again, eating with your head down is the same as your father. Don't use chopsticks to drink soup, drink like this、Look at me。 Whenever my grandmother said this, I would raise my head and look at her distorted face and thin lips that had become too much of a conversation.

I became more and more sensible, and my academic performance was getting better and better, and I even took the first place in my class in a promotion exam. I felt like I saw hope for the future. I took my test results and went to my old home. I haven't been here in a long time, and I don't know when the last time I was here. I haven't been here much since I had my stepfather. Before, every time I came happily, I would go back very depressed. Mom opened the door and cooked, but it was ugly. Every time I finish eating, I timidly cook on the sofa for a while, and my mother will say you go, it's not early, there are your uncle and little sister at home, it's inconvenient. Every time my mom dropped me off, the last thing she said when she closed the door was, "Let's go." "Repeat a thousand times. There's a special force that pulls me to go to that home, even if it's not warm. Maybe there are memories of me that don't change, even as I grow up day by day. Maybe I miss my bedroom, desk, bed, quilt, pillow so much that I want to go back. Time was changing, my stepfather redecorated my bedroom, and it didn't take long for this home to find no traces of my familiarity. I found the wheel of a toy car behind the door, and I picked it up and held it tightly in my palm, thinking about how happy my dad was when he bought me a toy car. The feelings were the coldest, time diluted everything, and I became more and more unfamiliar with that home, going from once every few days, to once every few weeks, and not once in the following months. It's been about a year now, and I haven't been there once. Even if I go once a year, my stepparents are not angry, and in the past two years, every time I want to go home to see, when I knock on the door, my stepfather will ask, "Who?" "I, the sea. "Let's go, your mom isn't home. "Sometimes I would hear my mother's voice in the door, and when I knocked slowly, my mother would ask in the door, "Who?" My mother would say, "Go back, your little sister is too young and there is no one to cook at home." "Every time I come happily, I go back dejected. Sometimes, in order not to feel bad, I will stand in front of the house for a while, without knocking, and then walk upstairs and downstairs at the door of the unit. When you walk to your door, you don't knock on the door, but stand at the door for a while and listen to the movement inside. Sometimes I raise my hand and put it down, and I know that after a few knocks on the door, I will be even more sad.

This time, through my own efforts, I took the first place in the exam, I am so happy, I want to bring this joy to the place where I used to live, I want to go home and see. This time, I went upstairs directly, went to the door of the house, and knocked on the door without hesitation. The stepfather asked in the door, "Who?" "I, the sea. "Is there anything wrong with you?" "No. "If not, go back." "This time I went back silently as before.

When I got back to my grandmother's house, I started working again, washing clothes and cooking. I showed my results to my grandmother, who didn't think so. But I was still glad that I locked myself in the hut and was secretly happy. Grandma knocked on the door over and over again, open the door quickly, open the door quickly, go to dinner, open the door quickly, open the door quickly, go mop the floor. The sound of knocking on the door was like a small hammer, and the bell hit my head, and I wanted to rest for a while, but the knock on the door came to mind. I've been suppressing my emotions for the past few years, and I'm afraid I'll go crazy if I vent it. Grandma has always spoken sharply, criticized, suppressed, muttered, and nagged. The knock on the door sounded again, open the door, open the door quickly, I had a headache and was about to explode, and I cried loudly. Grandma's knocking on the door still didn't stop, so she knocked on the door and said, "I'm still crying, I don't feel dead yet, I'm anxious for you." "I'm not alive, I'm not alive. Grandma said outside the door, "You die, you bachelor, bury you on the side of the road." "I cried even more. At dinner the next day, my grandmother said, "Why don't you still have the face to eat, why don't you die, after crying, after making trouble, you will eat and drink a lot." ”