When I was admitted to high school, although I didn't perform well, but with the good foundation laid in junior high school, I was still admitted to a key high school, maybe because I didn't adapt to the new environment of high school, or because I tried my best to study in junior high school, and my brain cells were exerted to the extreme. Maybe it's because of the long-term depression in my heart, the mood is always bad, I have no nostalgia, there is no one to rely on and get close to, and some are mature and pressure that my peers don't have. My spirit began to be in a trance, sometimes I was motionless in class, but my vision was blurry, and sometimes I thought about my parents and had an unbearable headache. Then I moved my seat and shared a table with a girl who became my first love, and then we got married. She was very beautiful, tall and dressed in very nice, clean, and decent clothes. Snow-white skin, gentle voice, soft eyes, crystal white arms, a pair of slender hands, and a well-proportioned body that makes people's hearts pound. Whenever I encounter a problem that I don't know, she will explain it to me seriously, and she will never tire of it. I leaned close to her and asked about the smell of her fragrance. With her help, my mood began to improve, my grades improved, and she became my only spiritual sustenance. Sometimes after school, I would follow her, neither far nor close. Just like that, she seemed to like me too, and every time she looked back, she smiled sweetly at me, smiling so naturally and cutely. I followed this every day, and the years were quiet.

I don't know when, my classmates and teachers said that we were in love, and the girl's parents also found the school, saying that they were afraid that it would affect their studies, so they asked us to have less contact, and the teacher also separated our seats, and my seat was moved to the back. There are always a few naughty students who often make fun of this, and what I can't stand the most is the teasing of others, just like grandma's nagging, but I have to endure it, I know that there is no backing behind me, and I have to rely on myself for everything. Sometimes the more you endure it, the more it encourages their behavior, but you still have to endure it. My grades are getting worse and worse, and sometimes I can't listen to lectures, and the glitz of the past begins to look back again, and the more I think about it, the more headaches I get. I don't want to fall behind in my grades, at least I'm a strong person, at least I don't let myself give up on myself. Every time I go to class, no matter how much headache I have, I will grit my teeth and persevere, sometimes I study late at night, sometimes I save time between classes, but my grades still plummet. Sometimes I sigh that God is unfair, but I am powerless to return to God.

I still remember that after the mid-term exam in the second year of high school, my grades dropped from the top ten in the class to the fiftieth in the class. What made me feel most disappointed was that no one paid attention to me, no classmates made fun of me, and no one mentioned it as usual. I was probably numb, and I didn't have the intention of revising the test paper or doing the questions. I left school silently after school, not knowing where to go, but I still had the belief that I would go home, even if I didn't get warmth there. I mustered up the courage to knock on the door, but my stepfather's voice came from the room as usual: "Who?" "I, the sea. "Are you here?" "It's okay." "Go back if you're fine, your mother isn't at home, and there's no one at home to cook." "I was so sad that I wanted to cry without tears, and left silently. I was so sad that no matter how much I told myself to be strong, tears still flowed out, and I walked slowly and aimlessly, without knowing the direction. I don't know when I lost my down jacket, the sky was getting late, the lights were dim, and it was snowing again. I thought of suicide, walked to a bridge and jumped off. The water was too shallow, just up to the waist, and the river was cold and biting. I was so cold, I was struggling on the edge of death and immortality, just standing in the dark and cold river. At this time, a man shouted on the bridge, what are you doing in the river, and you can't come up yet. I was woken up by a man and silently climbed up the riverbank. A security guard gestured in front of me with an electric baton and cursed loudly, not to get out of here. I lowered my head and left silently, I didn't shed tears, and I felt sorry for the security guards. Now I am cold, hungry, sleepy, and tired, and the thought of death still comes to my heart.

No, I can't be so cowardly, I picked up a brick and walked towards my mother's house, who ruined my happiness, if you don't open the door for me, I will smash the door open, kill my mother and my stepfather, let you ruin my happiness. I angrily walked forward with the bricks, and when I arrived at my neighborhood, a voice behind me called out to me: "The sea, what are you doing?" "I looked back and saw that it was my elementary school classmate, my former neighbor, my best friend Dahao. When I saw him, I couldn't hold back the tears, and I cried out.

He took me home, settled down, I told him everything I had experienced, and he asked me if I was going to go to school, and I said I didn't plan to go to school, so what would I do in the future? I didn't want to do anything, but now I was discouraged in life and just wanted to die. Dahao smiled, and I laughed too. Dahao asked me, "Have you ever made any money?" I said, "No." "It's cool to make money, and when you earn money, you can buy delicious food, you can have fun, and you can buy your favorite clothes. But we are too young to make money. He smiled at me.

Old friends meet, sing about wine, and life is geometric, such as morning dew, and there are many bitter days in the past. We are both children, and children tend to forget their sorrows, and young people tend to shine when they get a little sunshine. Dahao and I had the same experience, when he was in junior high school, his parents divorced, and now there are only him and his mother in the family. Dad has a new family. Mom may still have feelings for Dahao, raising Dahao alone and not remarrying. However, Dahao is also in the mood to study, he will not go to school after junior high school, and he is young, and there is no place to ask for a part-time job. No matter how you live, it's better to live a chic and comfortable life, and live happily day by day. Dahao and I are connected by the same fate and have similar experiences. He seems to be alive and well than I am.

Dahao said that I was under too much pressure and should indulge myself, and in the following days, Dahao and I went in and out of Internet cafes, bars, and dance halls. I play until the second half of the night every day, and when I run out of money, I learn to steal. Dahao also introduced me to a big brother. Although I had a hundred reluctances, I thought that it was good to live, and I was not happy to indulge myself, and I thought that I did not belong here, and that I should go back to school.

After about a month and a half, I went back to class, and when I tried to concentrate on listening to the class, I couldn't understand anything, it was like listening to a book from heaven, and sometimes I listened to the lecture and shed tears, and the class no longer belonged to me. Later, my life became more and more irregular, listening to lectures motionless during the day and going to Internet cafes at night to surf the Internet. Climbing over the walls of the school, a group of my friends, who were just as confused as me, walked several kilometers to surf the Internet and rushed back to school before dawn. I feel good because I know Dahao and I am recognized by this group of fox friends. When I was in junior high school, I was alienated from Dahao, and at that time I studied well, and the title of first place in the class made me extremely honored. Now I take the initiative to approach Dahao, also to gain glory.

I still feel that I am different from them, they don't go back to school for a few days and nights, and when I go out at night, I must return to school during the day, at this time my bottom line and principles. I also listened carefully to the teacher's lectures, and I was reluctant to pull down the lessons from my heart, and sometimes I fell asleep when I heard that I didn't know when, and I slept every day in the last days of school.

At one point I was sleeping on my desk while my table mate was talking. At this point, the teacher stopped lecturing and walked to the back and came to my desk. My table mate didn't notice it, he put the book on his head, his face was facing back, and the book on his head moved as he spoke, and he pulled down the corner of the book with both hands. At this time, the teacher picked up a stack of books and threw them at my tablemate, and I dodged at the table, and it hit me, and I stood up violently. As soon as the words fell, I kicked over, and the beautiful teacher sat on the ground with a kick on her ass, and there was a big footprint in her crotch. The beautiful teacher's angry hair stood on end, and she ran to the back with a roar, picked up a broom and called at me. I grabbed the broom from my tablemate, stomped my foot, stared at my eyes and cursed loudly: "What do you want to do!" The beautiful teacher ran out of the door in a frenzy and called for the physical education teacher, who grabbed me and kicked me out of the back door, followed by me at the same table. It was also because of beating the teacher that I was permanently expelled from the school.